Trigger Warning: childbirth

Rey

I'd said I was going, and I meant it, but by the time the kings agreed to meet, and a politically neutral planet agreed to host under the circumstances, it was too close to my due date for my doctors and midwife to feel comfortable. So, it was agreed that Kylo would go with Kuruk only joining him as his pilot, and instead of Aplek taking over as his second, rule would come to me.

Not that I would have been helpful in any event. With two weeks until my due date, I was so enormous and uncomfortable, I was entirely useless. Kylo left the day before, and was scheduled to return tomorrow, but was expected to have to stay if negotiation went exceptionally well.

Waking up in the middle of the night was nothing new. In fact, I'd done it twice since going to bed, but when I woke up the third time, it was because of pain in my lower back and hips. I repositioned the pregnancy pillow around myself, then under my belly and between my knees. I flung the comforter off, then shivered in the chill night air, and ground my teeth in annoyance. I pushed myself up, then swung my legs over the edge of the mattress, needing to pee. Again.

I heaved out of bed, then wobbled a bit to find my balance, and went into the bathroom. I took care of my needs, and washed my hands, drying them on the small towel that hung from the ring.

Instead of crawling back into bed, I pulled on my bathrobe and walked out into the hallway. A shadow cocked its head to the side before slipping downstairs, and I followed, the smell of brewing coffee wafting up to meet me. Ushar was in the kitchen holding a steaming mug labeled 'World's Hottest Grandma'.

I huffed out a laugh. "What little old lady did you steal that mug from?"

He gasped, feigning insult. "I will have you know that Kuruk got this mug for me for Life Day one year."

My eyebrows rose. "Oh, so he stole it from a little old lady."

He shrugged. "Probably."

Beau came downstairs, her messy bun hanging off the left side of her head. "Morning." She said, though it sounded more like a grumble. The shirt she wore was obviously Vic's, and barely shorter than her striped pink sleep shorts. She walked toward the cabinet by the sink, and pulled down a mug, then spooned in three heaps of sugar before pouring her coffee. She stirred, then leaned against the counter as she took a sip. She began rummaging around for supplies and gathering ingredients. "Rey," she called, and looked over her shoulder at me. "Why are you standing? Go sit down, I'll make you some tea."

I opened my mouth to tell her that I was perfectly capable of making my own tea, but my hips and back were still sore, so I obeyed with a groan of defeat. Beau merrily went along, turning the kitchen into a disaster as she stirred pancake batter and whipped eggs, yet somehow still managed to put a mug of tea in front of me before switching on the speaker for her indie rock girl band music.

I took a sip and sighed. It was perfect. Ap'lek came down the stairs and after a polite greeting to all of us, he and Ushar started talking about the day's agenda. I shifted in my seat, trying to ease the pressure in my hips. When that didn't help, I stood in an attempt to stretch the stiffness out of my legs, but standing made the pain in my lower back worse.

The sound of Ushars low laugh had my attention going to where he and Ap'lek still stood, smiling as they watched Vic come down the stairs in his cartoon character pajama bottoms.

"There you are!" Beau said, her voice unnaturally sweet. "I made breakfast." She turned, and handed him a plate.

He looked at it, then back at her. "Did you really make me dick shaped pancakes?"

Ushar, Aplek, and Trugden, who I hadn't seen sitting at the table, erupted into howls of laughter. Vic grabbed the maple syrup, saying something about lube as he poured it on, then took the fork that Beau held up for him and dug in.

I loaded a pancake, a few spoonfuls of eggs, and a strip of bacon onto my plate, but my stomach rolled when I took the first bite. I pushed my plate away, and stood, bracing both of my hands in the small of my back as I walked into the living room.

"You ok?" Beau asked as I passed her.

"I'm fine." I assured her with a sigh. "I just slept wrong or something. I'm going to go lay down."

It took more effort than I wanted to admit to make it upstairs, and the exertion had pain lancing through my lower belly. I laid down on my bed, grabbed my pillow and adjusted it. But, as before, no matter how I positioned myself, the pain in my back would not relent, nor would the pressure in my hips. I sat up with a groan, my hair now falling out of its bun after my constant turning. I huffed, then put a hand on my belly. I'd gotten up too quickly, and my already strained muscles were screaming in protest. After the pain eased, I hoisted myself out of bed and waddled to the bathroom, deciding to take a shower.

The water that I turned too high worked its magic, and when I emerged, my skin bright pink from the heat, I got dressed in gray maternity made stretchy leggings, and a matching jog bra. I pulled on a shirt, stepped into my shoes and headed back downstairs, having to pause at the bottom as the pain in my lower belly returned.

"You're training with me today?" Vic asked, noting what I was wearing.

"If that's ok." I said. I hoped stretching with him would ease the pain and pressure that was slowly creeping back.

Beau's red eyebrows furrowed. "I thought you were laying down."

"I can't get comfortable." I admitted. "And, I don't want to lay up there doing nothing."

"That is the worst." Vic agreed. "Let me get changed and we'll head out."

Vic trained in a dojo just a few blocks down and held the door open for me as I walked in. We started with simple arm stretches. My stomach muscles constricted, and I groaned, gripping his hand to keep from sinking to my knees.

His blond eyebrows pulled together. "You ok?"

I blew out a breath as the pain subsided. "Yeah, it's just Braxton Hicks." I assured him.

"The false labor pains?" He asked, and I nodded.

We continued with our stretches, having to pause every few minutes as another cramp hit, then eased.

Something wet and warm trickled down my thighs, soaking through my pants.

Vic froze, his face pale and his eyes wide. "Please tell me that's pee."

Another contraction hit, so much stronger than the others, and I cried out, doubling over.

"Holy fucking shit balls." Vic was hoping from one foot to the other, his voice sharp with panic. "You're in labor. Fuck fuck fuck, what do I do?"

I gritted my teeth as another contraction hit, then forced myself to breathe. "Ushar!"

He appeared in front of me a second later. He saw me, holding my belly with my pants soaked through and his amber eyes went wide. "Holy shit-" He breathed. "We need to get you to the hospital."

I managed a quick shake of my head. "Birth center." I gritted out. "But only if you can jump me there, and get Kylo."

He thought for a moment, regret softening the lines on his face.

"He's too far." I said, so Ushar wouldn't have to.

"But, Kuruk and I will leave now, and I will jump here as soon as we're close enough." He offered.

I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut as another contraction seized me. I felt an arm wrap around me, and when I opened my eyes, I was in the lobby of the birthing center. A wave of nausea hit me, and I would have vomited, if there had been anything in my stomach.

"Are you ok?" Ushar asked, holding me up.

I nodded tightly, and he helped ease me down into a wheelchair. Workers in scrubs were rushing toward me, asking how long I'd been in labor, how long ago my water had broken, how far apart my contractions were. I answered them as best I could as they wheeled me back, then left me alone in a room to change out of my wet pants. I stared at the gown folded on the bed, fear and excitement twisting in my stomach.

Excitement because I'd been wanting to meet this baby from the moment I knew I carried her, and fear because I'd have to do it alone.

You're not alone.Kylo's voice soothed my head.

I gasped, tears immediately stinging my eyes. Kylo

It's ok. He assured me. I'll be there as soon as I can.

I took several deep breaths, then wiped my face and changed into the hospital gown, hoping the midwife would check me and say that the pain I was feeling was Braxton Hicks, and that I had actually peed myself.

"You're four centimeters dilated." She announced when she checked me, and my heart broke. Four centimeters was almost half way. And it definitely meant I was in labor.

"But, she's two weeks early." I protested.

"That's still full term." The midwife reminded me, removing her fingers. She repositioned my gown to cover my thighs, and took off her gloves. "Your birth plan is to do this unmedicated, correct?"

I nodded, still feeling devastated that I was delivering this early, and that Kylo was missing it. Nurses came in and stretched a band around my belly to monitor me and the baby. After they also fitted me with a blood pressure cuff, they finally left.

I was alone for almost a whole minute when the door to my room opened, and I gasped, hoping it was Kylo, but Beau poked her head in instead. "Do you want to be alone?" She whisper-screamed.

"Hell no."

"I didn't think so." She stepped in and closed the door behind her. She reached into a messenger bag she had hanging off one shoulder. "I got a deck of cards, a Gameboy with three games, and," She held up the book I'd been reading. "The Disgraced Duke."

"I don't think I'll be doing much reading." I admitted, watching her sit in the chair next to my bed.

"I'll read it out loud if you want." She opened the book, and my bookmark fell out, fluttering to the white tile floor between her feet. She bent down to pick it up, and turned it over to read the words inked in Kylo's handwriting. Her eyebrows flew up. "'You make this life worth it.'" She harrumphed. "Vic never leaves me love notes."

"Does he show you in other ways?" I adjusted as I felt the deep pain of another contraction blooming in my core.

"He tells me." Beau said. "Usually when I have food on my face, or my hair is a mess, or I've spilled my dinner on my shirt or something." I sighed as the pain intensified and she gripped my hand. "Breathe."

I nodded and obeyed, taking in air through my nose, and exhaling out of my mouth. When it eased, I looked at her. "That's just Vic."

"I know." She rolled her eyes with a shake of her head. Then, she made a face. "He's also incredibly sexual."

"I didn't need to hear that." I said, flatly. Vic's sex life was something I could have happily gone to my grave without knowing about.

"Like, every spare minute we have, he wants to spend in bed." Beau went on, ignoring me.

I covered my face with my hands. "Again with the things I didn't need to hear." My voice was muffled against my palms

She pursed her lips as she considered. "Though, we rarely make it to the bed."

I gave her a sharp look. "I will get up and walk out, I swear."

She laughed and relented. "Okay, okay, I'll stop."

"Thank you." I sighed. "Though, make sure you use protection because those 'can't make it to the bed' moments are what landed me here. And, if you think the pull out method is protection," I gestured to my belly.

"Duly noted." She opened my book and began to read aloud.

Though the hours dragged by, the fact that she was with me made it immensely more bearable. In between my contractions, we gossiped about the Knights, shared stories about Kylo and Vic, and even talked about what baby names I was considering. When my active labor set in, she let me grip her hand, and reminded me to breathe as I moaned and writhed.

My midwife came in to check me. "Eight centimeters."

No. No, that was only two away from ten. And, Kylo wasn't here. No, I had to wait for him. But, my body wouldn't listen. Soon after the midwife left, I felt an uncontrollable urge to push. Beau ran out, yelling for the nurses, and they rushed in. They broke the bed down, and put the stirrups up, draping blue sheets over me and rolling in supplies.

I watched them with wide, terrified eyes. And, I was terrified. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew it was going to be horrific.

I looked up at Beau, who still held my hand. "I'm scared." I breathed, the monitors beeping a warning at my racing heart.

"It's alright to be scared." My midwife said from where she was positioned between my arched legs. She had on a protective cover over her clothes and face, as well as her hair. "But, you'll forget about this as soon as you hold your baby." She looked at the screen. "On the next contraction, you're going to put your chin to your chest and push to ten, then stop."

I shook my head. "No."

But, she nodded patiently. "Yes." And, on the next contraction, I did. Beau counted with the nurse on my right to ten, and I blew out the air that I was holding. "That's perfect." My midwife praised, "Take another deep breath, and go again." I obeyed, pushing again, then again before she told me I could rest. "You're doing so great."

I wanted to tell her to take that irritatingly calm encouragement and shove it, and I would have, if I hadn't been so out of breath.

"Alright, chin to your chest, let's go." She said, and I pushed with a low, guttural moan until ten when I took a breath and pushed again.

I stopped, gasping as my heart skipped a beat. My midwife looked up, concern written on the bit of her face I could see, but I ignored her. The Force shifted, and Kylo appeared, though not with Ushar.

I let out the breath I was holding, but it sounded like a sob. "You're not here." I cried.

He crossed the space between us, and knelt at my side, pressing a kiss to my sweaty temple. "I'm as here as I can be." He said, his voice tight.

On the next contraction, I pushed, my body trembling from the strain.

My midwife looked at me. "I can see her head."

Excitement briefly took over. "You can?" I asked, trying to sit up and look. But, I couldn't see over the blue sheet. "Does she have hair?"

My midwife's eyes crinkled when she smiled. "Yes, curly black hair, it looks like."

Then, I felt it, the stretch of her head crowning. "It burns." I gasped out.

"I know it burns." She assured me. "It's supposed to burn."

Then, a massive contraction hit all at once, and I cried out.

"I need you to push." She urged.

But, I shook my head. "I can't." Then, I choked on a pained sob. "I can't do this."

Kylo moved at my side, and his hand cupped my cheek, gently turning my head to look at him. "Yes, you can." He said, his eyes molten with their intensity.

I shook my head again. "I can't." I panted. "I can't."

"Yes, you can." He repeated. "You are the strongest person I've ever met, and you can do this, Rey."

"It hurts." I whined.

His face clouded, his brows pulling together. "I know." He said, and pressed his lips to my forehead. "I'm sorry."

I gasped as another contraction seized me, but had little choice but to obey my body's command and pushed, screaming out my frustration.

"One more big push." My midwife couched, as nurses pulled the stays of my gown, exposing my chest and breasts.

With that big push, I felt a sense of release, and heard a splash of fluid, then a gurgled mewl. I held my breath, noticing that the nurses had stopped to watch as the midwife worked. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, when my baby was laid on my bare chest. I instinctively put my arms up, cradling her to me, and her shrill cry broke the silence in the room.

A rush of emotions hit too quickly for me to process. Relief that she was here, that she was alright, excitement to finally have her in my arms, to meet her, and such a surge of joy that I started sobbing. I was vaguely aware of Kylo, of his choked sobs, and looked up to see his face was wet. "Can you see her?"

He nodded, "I see her." He brushed my sweat matted hair away from my face and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "She's perfect."

The nurses wiped her down, covered us with a small flannel blanket and put a pink beanie on her head. Her crying stopped when she put her tiny fist in her mouth and tried to suckle. I moved her to my breast, and winced when she latched on and started to nurse.

"What's her name?" A nurse asked, pen in her hand to label her clear plastic bassinet.

Kylo looked at me, waiting.

"Amalia." I answered, my eyes locked with his. "But, I want to call her Mali."

He smiled his crooked smile, looking at her with such amazement and adoration that it made my heart melt. "Mali it is, then."