The next two weeks were not easy. Dumas had checked with Captain Morgan, and our jobs and lives were saved; for the moment. We still faced the hatred of more or less the entire station. Tom, our former guard, and his friend Leo Denton with the black curly hair were the only ones who would ever talk to us. Harris only spoke to us when he absolutely had to, and Dumas more or less ignored us.

None of this really bothered me; the thing that did bother me was the growing awkwardness between me and CJ. Ever since that fateful night, there had been a tension between us which had never existed before, even when we had first been getting to know each other.

I hated that she was angry with me, but I did not know how to fix it. I wished I could just wrap my arms around her and make every thing go away but I could not. I could not change the way I felt in an instant, and I just hoped time would bring back the friendly relationship between us. I tried hard not to think about Christine; however the harder I tried the more I found myself thinking about her.

During the day I did not think about her so much, but at night, when I was alone; for CJ never slept with me again after the night I had warned her about my feelings, it all came back to me. I lived and re lived each detail of my life with Christine; how badly I had desired her, how I had built my entire life, my whole future, around loving her. And then she had left me. My heart broke again each night as I thought about her, in the loving arms of her husband while I lay alone, unable to move beyond her. I had never imagined anything for me beyond Christine; maybe there was nothing for me but the memory of her.

About a week after our eventful first day, CJ began to see Leo Denton. They would spend their lunches together; I would stay in the station house alone while everyone else left. Tom usually tried to get me to come with him, but I always refused. When I sat in the station house alone I would bitterly curse myself; this was where my love for Christine had taken me; it had left me alone and hungry.

CJ went out to dinner with Leo Denton as well; they made a handsome pare; and I suppose I could not blame her for wanting to move on to a normal man. She did not talk about him with me; we did not discuss much which was not work related. I hardly saw her in the house; she had moved out of the room I was in and into a different one.

There were times when I saw her that I just wanted to grab her and pull her to me, to claim her once again, but then my mind would turn back to Christine and something in me would hold me back. I was wretched and I wondered back to the time when Dumas had asked me if I wanted to live or die, and I wondered if I should have just given up then.

It was in the third week of our standoff that CJ broke the silence. She knocked on the closed door of my room. It was quite late and I suspected she had just returned from another date with Leo,

"Come in," I called from the bed,

CJ entered, and in the candle light of my room I could see she was quite upset. She sank down on the bed which had once been hers and stared at the ground,

"What is it?" I asked her; perhaps she and Leo were at odds?

"Erik, I have to tell you something…"

"What?" I could not imagine what she had to tell me,

"I just visited the doctor," She spoke very slowly and heavily, and I stared at her. She raised her bright green eyes to meet mine, "Erik I am pregnant,"

"What!" I breathed, "Well who…who…?" I sputtered

"You're the father,"

By the ringing in my ears and the jolt I felt all through my body I thought that perhaps I had exploded. A moment later I felt my head was spinning,

"You are sure?" I gaped,

"Sure that I am pregnant or sure that you are the father?" CJ asked

"That I am the father,"

"I only slept with Leo once two days ago, and I am much further along than that; you are the father,"

"Are you going to terminate the pregnancy?" I asked,

"I…I can't," CJ said as tears began to fill her eyes, "The doctor told me…since I took so long to see him, because I could not get an appointment right away, and because of this condition I have; after all the…trauma…from my childhood, I was not supposed to be able to get pregnant; if I try to terminate the pregnancy than it could kill me,"

"I can't believe this!" I was angry; not really with CJ but with myself, "I don't want a child!" I was so angry I could not say what I really meant to say; what I meant was I did not want to have a child and risk it sharing my defection. I did not want to curse another being with the life I had been forced to live. However in my heightened emotional state, I could not articulate this,

"You think I do!" CJ screamed, rising from the bed she had been sitting on, "You think this is what I want! Do you think it is easy for me to know that I am carrying the baby of a man who…"

"A man who looks like this?" I shouted, standing as well and ripping the mask off of my face,

CJ looked at me disgusted, "No," she said in a quivering voice which was hardly more than a whisper, "A man who only cares about what is between my legs,"

With this she turned and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I stood in abject silence for a moment; what had I done? I quietly went to the door and opened it. I went to CJ's room, but she was not there. I heard noise coming from the bathroom, and I listened at the door.

I could hear CJ sobbing and vomiting through the door. Opening it a crack, I stuck my head inside,

"CJ?" I said in a soft voice,

"You know I am in here," She said quietly,

"I…when I said I didn't want a child all I meant was I did not want to risk it looking…like I do,"

"Why?" CJ snorted bitterly, "Would you love it less?"

"No! But…wouldn't you?" I knew this was the wrong thing to say the moment I said it,

CJ stood from her place on the floor beside the crude toilet and walked toward me. Her green eyes were smoldering and she reached up and slapped me hard in the face;

"You think I care about what the child will look like? What kind of a person do you think I am!" she took several deep breaths and tried to calm herself, "The only thing I care about," her voice shook with emotion, "is how I am going to take care of this child after Dumas…" her voice broke, and it was a moment before she spoke again, "I am no good to him now, you realize that? I cannot do the job he wants me to do anymore; he could send be back to prison,"

"He would not do that," I said and I reached out to touch her elbow in a comforting manor but she pulled away as though I was poisoned,

"Don't worry about it Erik," she glared at me, "Go back to daydreaming about Christine or whatever it is you do when you are cutting yourself off from everyone else," And she walked past me and entered her room.

I walked back to my own bed and slumped down on it. Now I had really ruined everything; Christine was gone, CJ hated me, there was going to be a child born who in all likelihood would be just as hideous as I was, and Dumas was going to punish us both for this. I did not sleep at all that night; I sat on the bed staring into the nothingness which surrounded me.

I was seriously thinking about killing myself as morning broke. I had ruined every thing I touched; I should stop myself before I ruined the life of my child as well. I had a gun; Dumas had given us both guns on our second day at the station, I could use it on myself.

CJ opened my door at the very moment I was going to pick up my gun, stopping me from suicide,

"We have to go," She said grimly, and she waited as I walked over to her, then she led the way down the stars. I locked the door behind us; I had finally remembered to ask Dumas about a key and he said he had been intending on giving us one; he just kept forgetting.

"I have to tell Dumas today," CJ said bitterly as we walked, searching for a cab,

"I will tell him with you," I offered,

"You had better," CJ snapped, "I have to tell Leo too," she sighed,

"What are you going to do about him?" I asked as gently as I could,

"I don't know yet Erik!" she yelled and I did not press the subject, "I will have to end it with him, I suppose," she said softly,

"Are you in love with him?" I asked, not knowing what I wanted the answer to be,

"No," CJ said without hesitation, "I am not, but he is a good man; it is a shame I have to give him up,"

We took a cab to the station. As we turned on to the Rue Etrange, there was a backup in traffic; it seemed there had been an accident and they were still trying to sort it out. CJ and I got out of the cab and walked the rest of the way to the station house. We were almost there when Leo Denton came toward us,

"Hello, darling," he said to CJ and he took her hands in his and kissed her cheeks; CJ only lasted a moment before the tears came and she let herself fall into Denton's arms.

"What is wrong?" he asked her gently, and I took this as my cue to leave them for a moment. I walked past them a way, but I stopped when I was still just in earshot of them, pretending to be watching the accident be cleared away.

"Leo," CJ cleared her throat and out of the corner of my eye I saw her break away from him, "I can't see you anymore,"

"What? Why!" Denton sounded shocked, "I thought we had something here, what is wrong?"

"I…," CJ seemed at a loss for words,

"Wait, does this have to do with him?" I assumed he meant me,

"Yes," CJ said slowly,

"Well damn it CJ! I told you I did not like you living with him, I told you to come and stay with me; what did he do to you? Are you afraid of him? Because I can make him go away if you want me to, I told you that," I was a bit shocked by this statement,

"I am not afraid of him," CJ began sadly, "But he did do something to me…well, not something I did not want him to do…sort of,"

"Tell me what happened CJ," Denton said gently,

"I am pregnant Leo," there was silence for a good minute and a half,

"And it is…?" Denton's vice sounded heart broken,

"Erik is the father,"

Silence again…then, "There is not way I am the father?"

"No," CJ choked out in a teary voice, "I am so sorry," she said, and then she walked past him; drying her eyes she walked past me and into the station house. I was about to follow her when a hand grabbed my shoulder and whipped me around; I was facing Leo Denton,

I was about to say something; but Leo never gave me the chance; he punched me hard in the stomach;

"Why the hell did you do that to her!" He screamed, I quickly straightened up and swung at his face, connecting with his jaw,

"I didn't plan this!" I yelled, and then Denton was coming at me; I ducked one blow and grabbed him around the waist, throwing him to the ground. Denton was down for only a moment before he sprung up at me, taking his gun out in a flash and hitting me across the face with the gun butt, causing my mask to fall to the ground and Denton had a clear view of my face;

"What kind of a creature are you?" He screamed at me, and I immediately covered my face, giving him the opportunity to slam his knuckles against my jaw,

I stumbled backward and let go of my face; I was enraged now; I went for him and hit his face until he fell to his knees;

"What are you doing!" CJ's voice cut through the angry haze of my mind; I turned to see everyone was staring at us; people from the crowded street and people from the station house alike were watching,

I covered my face again, feeling like a fool as I stooped to pick up my mask and slip it back on my face,

"What happened here?" Dumas had come out to see what everyone was staring at,

I was going to explain when I realized I did not know how. One man from the crowed spoke,

"The man without the mask started it," He said to Dumas,

"Is that true Leo?" Dumas asked as Denton stood again,

"Yes, it is true, and I would do it again," He growled, "He," and he pointed at me; "He ruined everything!"

CJ covered her face with her hand and Dumas looked from Denton to CJ, "Alright, everyone inside,"

We trooped into the station house; everyone pushed past me and would not let me enter until the very last person was already inside.

"Phann, CJ, I want to see you both in my office now," Dumas walked back to his office and we followed,

"What is he talking about?" Dumas asked as soon as we shut the door,

CJ was still trying to control herself to keep from crying in front of Dumas but I thought I should wait for her to relax enough so she could tell him herself. Meanwhile, I lifted my hand to my head and discovered I was bleeding, and by the throbbing I felt around my face I was developing a swollen eye. My stomach also hurt like the devil, but I guessed it was nothing compared to what CJ was feeling.

"Did you hear me? Why did Leo just try to kill Phann in the street?" Dumas asked again,

CJ took one deep breath and started to talk, "He was angry because I said I had to stop seeing him,"

"You left him for Phann?" Dumas asked, and had I been someone with any self confidence I might have been offended that he thought the idea of CJ preferring me over Denton was ridiculous,

"Not exactly," CJ closed her eye and inhaled, then she opened them again and I could tell the moment of truth was upon us, "I am pregnant, and Erik is the father,"

Dumas looked as though he had been run over by a carriage, then his expression turned to anger,

"What the hell CJ! Do you know why we don't hire woman? It is because they will inevitably leave you to have a baby! This is exactly what Fillips said would happen; but I told him he was wrong about you, I said you were a serious professional who was talented enough to keep and you just proved him right and my wrong! I go out on a limb for the two of you and this is the thanks I get?" His face was red with fury,

"I am sorry," CJ said, and she kept the tears from her eyes,

"Sorry?" Dumas laughed, "You two can't keep your pants on and my career goes to hell along with your lives," he shook his head, "You have to terminate the pregnancy,"

"I can't," CJ whispered,

I blinked blood out of my eyes and wiped my forehead with my hand,

"What do you mean you can't?" Dumas growled,

"It is too late and the doctor is afraid that with all the trauma from my childhood, if he were to try to terminate I could bleed to death," She whispered this explanation, and Dumas shook his head again and considered a few moments,

"Well…I think I know a way to half fix this; CJ, Phann, you two have to get married,"

"What!" CJ and I asked together,

"It will look better to Fillips if CJ leaves to have the baby of her husband, and it would allow CJ to return; she can come back to work if she is assisting her husband,"

"I don't care what Fillips thinks!" CJ shouted, and Dumas glared at her,

"I don't care what you care about; remember who you are here," he lowered his voice, "You are a criminal who should have been executed, as far as you are concerned you should think of me as Jesus and Fillips as God!" he hissed, "We have certainly been merciful, but all that could change," Dumas looked deadly serious, and we said nothing,

"Right," Dumas said to us, "Go down to the Town Hall on your lunch break, then CJ you go home, I can't have you here causing any more fights, and Phann, do something about that cut," by the way he was looking at me my face was covered in blood. Dumas dismissed us and we walked back out to our desk. We were greeted by the glares of each policeman in the station.

"Go to the bathroom, you need to fix your eye," CJ said to me shortly, and I walked off to the bathroom, feeling like a scolded dog. I peered into the small mirror for some time before I washed; I looked awful; my face was turning black and blue and blood glistened all over my forehead.

The door opened behind me and I whipped around, ready to see Denton and all his friends come to finish me off. I did not expect to see CJ. She walked dutifully toward me and wet a towel which was hanging by the sink and began to wash the blood away. I stood motionless,

"This is nice of you," I said to her,

"Well I seem to remember a time when I was shot in the shoulder and a certain someone helped me," CJ murmured as she wiped my forehead; it was the closest we had been physically in some time and I realized how much I had missed it,

"You don't owe me anything; I remember you pulling glass out of my hands," I said as she finished with the exposed side of my face, and then her hand moved to my mask,

"What are you doing?" I snapped and pulled away,

"Some of the blood in on the other side of your face; I want you to look nice for our wedding day," she said sarcastically, and I consented to let her remove the mask and set it by the sink, "You pulled me out of the fire, you know," she said and I guessed we were still playing the I-owe-you-for-saving-my-life game; but I was about to win,

"You pulled me out of the torture chamber,"

CJ laughed mirthlessly, "Yes, I suppose it is your turn to help me; but you can just owe me one,"

I owed her more than 'one,' "I am truly sorry CJ," I said to her sadly,

"Sorry? For what? I made the choice to lie with you, I took the risk, and now I am paying for it," her voice was even; she had cried all the tears she could for the moment,

CJ lowered her hand from my face and stepped back; I put my mask back on, "I guess we have to go back out and face the wolves," I said glumly as I thought about all the hostile policemen in the next room,

"We can fight them off," CJ laughed as we exited the bathroom; it was good to hear her laugh again, and to hear her talk about 'we' and mean me and her.

At two o'clock we went to the Town Hall for a marriage license. Two people who were already there were used as witnesses, and we were married with in the hour. It felt very odd; there was no ceremony, no vows, I did not even have a ring anymore which I could have given to her. As we signed our names and as Candice Joselyn Bradshaw became Candice Joselyn Phann, I realized I did not even have a real last name to give her.

I did not feel any different as I walked out of the Town Hall a married man. CJ was walking beside me in silence and I thought what strange newlyweds we made; here in Paris, the city of love, we had just been married and we were not even holding one another's hands, and there had certainly been no kissing of the bride.

We road back to the station house in awkward silence; CJ stared out the window; a resigned look on her face. When we reached the station house I made to get out but CJ did not move,

"Aren't you coming?" I asked her,

"You heard Dumas, I have to go home, remember?"

"Oh…yes, I will see you later than," I said with a sigh,

"Don't let the men in there beat you up too badly," CJ teased me dryly,

I gave her a small smile, "Don't do too much in your weakened condition," I shot back,

CJ narrowed her eyes in an expression which was now familiar to me; mock anger, "Go to hell," CJ said wryly

"I'm already there," She was still half smiling at me as the cab pulled away; and I realized we were acting toward each other the way we had acted when we had first met, all this time and history together and we were back at the beginning; all because I was holding on to the love of a woman who had left me, and the false hope that she would return.

I walked back into the police station; past all the glaring policemen, and sat down at my desk. I was married, I was going to be a father; but I had never felt more alone.