It was late February and CJ was nearing her due date when I realized something else we were going to need; I did not like the idea of leaving CJ alone all day, she could go into labor and have no way of getting any help. We needed a midwife who would stay with her throughout the day, and after the baby was born, as CJ was going back to work at the station, someone to take care of the baby.

We were at a loss for some time; we did not have enough money to really afford anyone. Thankfully Nadir, who visited increasingly more often, informed me the Marie Giry had left the opera due to un agreeable managers, and he was sure she would come and help with the baby, as Meg was now in England.

I wasted no time in asking her, and at first it seemed she was going to refuse, but when I told her how dire our need for her was she agreed. Marie began staying with CJ the next day,

"She hates me," CJ told me after she had been there one day. CJ did not really seem troubled by this; she was just stating it using her familiar even tone. We were sitting on the piano bench. I had been teaching CJ how to play, well, not really how to play, how to play better.

The first time I had suggested I teach her to play she had sat down excitedly and was eager to learn. One hour and no progress later, I was ready to give up and I told CJ she was hopelessly tone deaf; she confused even the simplest instructions. As I had turned to leave, telling her to come with me, she said she wanted one more try. She proceeded to play the scale perfectly. I had spent the next few minutes yelling, while she laughed at her little joke. It seemed her father had taught her to play, and she played me for a fool.

"What do you mean she hates you?" I asked confused, as I marked a note on the piece of music I had written for her to practice

"She hates me; she thinks I am too active for a pregnant woman, and she thinks it is down right wrong for my to go back to work after I have a child," CJ continued evenly,

"Did she tell you all that?" I asked, and I smiled because I knew that in all likely hood Marie had said all that,

"Oh yes,"

"And you said?"

"That I was not paying her for her opinions; her only job is to see to it that I don't die, and it will be a cold day in hell before I give a damn about her opinion,"

I laughed, "You know, according to Dante the deepest circle of hell is cold,"

CJ shook her head, "I can't believe you were an assassin and you just started a sentence with, 'according to Dante,'"

"I know you like it," I said, marking another note,

"I do like it, Erik Phann," she said in a low voice, and she slid closer to me; the dress she was wearing was cut low and I could see down it with easy. Some of the men at the station had asked me if CJ wasn't driving me mad with mood swings and outrageous demands; however it was quite the opposite. I enjoyed pregnant CJ; true it sometimes made her uncomfortable and that upset me, but her emotional states were tolerable. Also pregnancy made her breasts swell and her desire for me increase.

"I think we have had enough music for today," I said. I thought about a time when I had believed I would find nothing I loved to do more than play music. However, I had been very wrong, I thought to myself as CJ led me upstairs, I had been very wrong.

"Erik,"

It was three weeks later and I was sitting at my desk, comparing the handwriting of a suspect against a note we had found at a murder scene, when Tom came running toward me,

"Erik!" He shouted,

"What?" I looked up; his face was excited and his eyes were wide,

"Erik," He grabbed my desk, "A man is waiting outside; he said CJ just went into labor!"

I jumped up and ran for the door; I did not hear anything anyone said behind me. At the door of the station Nadir was waiting, motioning me on into the cab he had waiting,

"How is she?" I asked, I felt so anxious to get home I could not keep my leg from shaking and I was wringing my hands together,

"She is fine," Nadir said in a soothing voice, and I stopped shaking so much, "Well, she is not fine; she is pushing a baby out of her body, she is yelling and sweating and moaning," I started shaking again,

I jumped out of the cab before it stopped moving and ran into the house; leaving Nadir to pay the driver. I ran up the stairs and into our room. CJ was laying on the bed; propped up with pillows and holding her stomach,

"Are you alright?" I asked, kneeling down beside her,

"Do I look alright!" she screamed, then she took several more deep breaths, "Sorry, this just really hurts," she closed her eyes,

It was terrible to see her in so much pain and not be able to do a thing about it. We all did our best to make her comfortable; Marie and Nadir brought water and wet towels to wipe her forehead with. I would have gone to get her anything she asked, but she had a grip on my hand and she did not want to let go.

An hour after I returned there was a knock on our door and Nadir ran down to see who the hell it was. When he came back up, he was followed by a middle aged red haired woman,

"Who the hell are you?" CJ snapped as the woman entered the room,

"I am Estella Dumas, I am a midwife,"

"Dumas?" I asked,

"That's right, I am your captain's wife," she said with a small, business like smile,

"He sent you to help me?" CJ asked in a pained voice,

"Yes," Estella had carried in a bag and she was setting it down and going through it; she had a very calm, professional manner,

"That was sweet of him," CJ said in a thankful voice,

"He is a sweet man," Estella murmured, and then she stood and addressed everyone, "Alright, I want everyone but the husband out," and Marie and Nadir trudged out of the room,

"CJ, I want you to relax, I have assisted in many births and I have extensive medical training,"

"Do you have anything that will make the pain stop?" she asked desperately,

"No," Estella responded bluntly,

"Well then I think you need more medical training,"

In three hours, CJ was still in a lot of pain; but Estella informed us that the baby should be coming soon. However, it was late in the night before anything happened. CJ was lying on her side and I was stroking her back when she screamed suddenly and Estella quickly instructed her to roll back upright and ten minutes later, Estella told her to start to push.

CJ did, and she squeezed my hand so hard I thought it would fall off. An hour later, Estella yelled that she could see the head, then the shoulders, and she told CJ to push once more hard, and CJ screamed; my hand broke, and CJ fell back against the pillows and we heard the loud cries of a baby.

"Oh God," CJ panted, "Is it alright, is the baby alright?" I did not quite know what she meant by that, but I rushed to Estella's side to look at my child.

Estella had cut the umbilical cord and was wrapping it in a blanket, "It's a girl," she announced, and I looked at my daughter for the first time.

She looked perfect; I could have cried when I saw that she was not in anyway deformed, her little red face was perfectly smooth. She had quite a bit of black hair which was much like mine, but when she opened her eyes I saw they were bright green.

"Can I hold her please?" CJ begged, looking longingly at her child she had just worked so hard to bring into this world,

"Of course," Estella brought the baby over and handed her to CJ,

CJ took the crying child into her arms and almost immediately she stopped wailing and gurgled contently, stretching her tiny arm upwards, "Oh she is beautiful! She has your hair, and my eyes! She's perfect!"

I sat down on the bed next to her, wrapping my arm around her and staring at our child. I could not believe I was looking at our child; that a part of me had gone into making something so beautiful and so small,

"What are you going to name her?" Estella asked, and it seemed as though watching a family expand made her businesslike manner evaporate, for she smiled broadly and glowed as though she was a new mother herself,

"Bernadette," we chorused; CJ had suggested using the name of the little girl she had rescued from her mother if we had a girl, and I had thought it was a wonderful idea,

"What about her middle name?" Estella asked, and we said nothing, we had never picked another girls name,

"How about Estelle?" CJ asked, "In honor of our wonderful midwife,"

"Bernadette Estelle," I said, calling my daughter by her name for the first time.

Marie and Nadir came in and praised our beautiful child for some time. CJ was still holding her; she had not let anyone else touch her. However, after a time, she asked me,

"Do you want to hold her?"

I took my daughter in my arms for the first time; she was so light I felt like I was not holding anything at all. She did not cry when I held her, she was not afraid of me. She cooed contently in my arms and I breathed a sigh of relief. My daughter had not rejected me.

Marie and Nadir were finally ushered out of the room; they had both decided to stay the night just in case, but Estella said it was time to give the mother a rest. Then we were finally alone; all my family in one room.

"She is beautiful, Erik," CJ said again, she was holding Bernadette again,

"She looks just like you," I said, I was next to her on the bed with my arms around her,

"She looks like you two," CJ said as she adored our daughter, "You see that scowl she is making right now? She looks just like you!"

Suddenly Bernadette began to cry and nothing either of us could do seemed to quiet her; then CJ had a thought,

"Could she be hungry?"

"I don't know," I said, I really did not know anything about babies,

"I think she might be hungry," and CJ pulled down one side of her dress; and the baby immediately moved to her nipple and began to drink,

"I can't believe I am nursing my child, I can't believe it," she said softly, and I kissed her neck; I did not know really what to say; she had given me something I had never dreamed of; she had given me a family.

"I love you," I whispered into her ear,

"I love you two," she sighed and leaned back against me.

When I could finally convince CJ to stop holding the baby, she fell asleep very quickly; not surprising considering the fact that it was by this time the early hours of the morning.

Left alone with my child, I cradled her in my arms and watched her sleep until dawn came; breaking cold and clear. I was so fascinated by my daughter I hardly noticed what time it was. I stared at her; she was so small, her whole hand was the size of my smallest finger, and she was so peaceful; she lay quietly in my arms, occasionally moving slightly. When this happened I would hold my breath at the sensation of my own daughter moving in my arms.

I had never thought in all my life that I would have a child; even when CJ had been pregnant I had not really believed and I half expected every morning that I would wake up alone in the dark house by the lake. But it was real, it was all real.

As the morning drew on, I realized sadly that I had to go back to work. I did not want to wake CJ; she needed her rest. I softly kissed her forehead and left the room. Marie was already awake and I handed the baby to her, telling her to put her in CJ's room.

I stumbled tiredly out of the house. I had not slept at all the night before; I was still in the clothes I had been wearing when I had run out of the station house. When I arrived at Etrange and walked through the front doors Tom rushed up to me,

"Well?" He looked at me, holding his breath,

I blinked several times, "She had a girl,"

These four words caused a great deal of commotion; everyone started clapping at once and I felt five people slap me on the back; not to mention Tom, who actually embraced me,

"Congratulations!" Tom said as he let go of me; had I not been so tired I would have pushed him away, but I was exhausted,

"Alright! That is enough now, I have to talk to the new father here," Dumas was approaching, and he motioned for me to follow him back to his office. As I entered it I had a bazaar flashback to the time when CJ and I had first walked through the station house to the office. Everything had changed since then; and I was grateful it had.

"Take a seat," Dumas said lightly, sinking into his own chair. I practically fell into the wooden chair, "You look tired," Dumas said bluntly,

"I did not sleep last night,"

"Get used to it; babies cry,"

I wondered if Dumas had any children, and then I remembered, "Thank you very much, for sending your wife to us; she was invaluable,"

"Glad to hear it," Dumas said in a surprisingly kind tone, "How is CJ?"

"She was sleeping when I left her,"

"And the baby?"

"She was sleeping too,"

"And they are both alright?"

"Yes, they are fine,"

Dumas smiled, "Estella told me as much; just making sure everyone was still alright,"

"We are all fine," and suddenly I realized that we were all fine because of Dumas; he had saved our lives from execution in prison, and then given us jobs, it was because of him that CJ and I were happy, "Thank you very much, Sir, for all you have done for us," I said, standing again,

Dumas stood as well, "I did not think you liked called me 'sir'"

"I think you deserve it now, Sir,"

"Your damn right I do; and don't get the wrong idea when I say this; you are still scum, but you're the best scum that I have come across in a long time; every madly impossible thing I have asked you and CJ to do you have done admirably. I don't think I have anyone working for me that is better at their job than you are,"

"Thank you Sir,"

"Don't call me sir; Captain is fine," and he reached out his hand to me,

I shook it, "Thank you Captain,"

"Alright, no get out of here, go home, see your wife; tell her I am glad to hear everything went well and that I will see her when she comes back here; and kiss that daughter of yours for me,"

I nodded open mouthed at his kindness, "I will," and I turned to leave,

"Erik?"

"yes?" I stopped and turned,

"You are still scum," but he was half smiling at me,

I smiled, "I know Captain,"

At the house CJ was awake when I returned,

"What are you doing home?" She asked; she was still in the bed, holding Bernadette,

"Dumas sent me home," I said, dropping down on the bed beside her,

"What did you do?" She asked me wryly,

"I didn't do anything," I said, "He just sent me home; he said he was glad you were alright and to kiss our daughter from him,"

"You are not actually going to do that are you?" She said,

"No, defiantly not,"

As tired as I was I still did not sleep; the day was far to ideal. I was alone with CJ and our new daughter; I was not going to waste the opportunity to spend the whole day with them by sleeping.

It was late at night before we put our daughter down to sleep. We set her in the crib which we had moved into our room for the time being. She did not cry as I thought she would when we set her down. I stared at her in the crib for a moment; if someone had told me when I had first taken this crib that it would one day hold my daughter I would have laughed in their face.

I fell gratefully into the bed, CJ along with me. She turned, her face toward me, and entwined her legs with mine and buried her face in my chest. She murmured something and I heard her breathing slow; she was asleep. Finally I slipped off my mask and closed my tired eyes.