Disclaimer: Joss Whedon is the creator and holder of all things "Buffy". I am not. Characters are referenced here with respect and appreciation. That said…

The Hidden Diary of Willow Rosenberg

Day One

Made new friend with blonde toothpick. Then Xander killed Jesse. Feel anxious.

Day Two

Helped Xander try out for cheerleading squad. He thought skirt was too short until I showed him matching pumps. Tried to get him to do hair and make-up too, but he stopped after lip-gloss. Very disappointing. Now no color to bring out eyes. Men so sexy when they look and act exactly like women.

Day Three

Xander dated a bug. Maybe me not so weird.

Day Four

Buffy killed a boy on the first date after specifically being told not to. Remorseless bitch.

Day Five

Xander spent day changing into various forms of wildlife and furniture. Xander kind of strange, come to think of it.

Day Six

Creepy old guy who keeps hanging around us teens turned out to be vampire. Don't know how this makes it better, but others seem happy.

Day Seven

Tried internet dating. Scarred for life.

Later

Buffy very good friend during crisis. Keeps asking for details and which specific web sites to avoid. Told her definitely don't go to "I'm a FreakingDemon" web site and she immediately ran off to block it from her browser.

Day Eight

Met a puppet. Did not want to meet a puppet. Still upset I met a puppet.

Day Nine

Opera a total nightmare. I so messed up my aria.

Day Ten

Invisible girl kidnapped Buffy. Tried to rescue, but Buffy kept running back in and tying self up. Maybe it's a superhero thing.

Day Eleven

Vampire made big dramatic mess of a death scene for self in library. Shakespeare would be proud, but you know we'll be cleaning dust out of the bookshelves for months.