Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except for those who are of my own creation.
…
Chapter three: Beware of Horses
I woke up slowly. My eyelids eased up so that I viewed that morning with half closed eyes. I noted that the sun was still sleeping. I felt content to merely glance out from the undergrowth and stare at the large trees but something prompted me to get up.
And I realized what it was when something beneath me shifted.
Startled, I bolted up right into a sitting position and looked down to see exactly what moved beneath me. To my surprise, it was a leg. Two legs to be exact. Legs that were attached to torso, a chest clad in leathery armor and then, the sleeping head of Dagonet. The events of yesterday night seeped back into my head and with a sigh, I leaned back against the trunk of the tree.
"Bad dream?" someone asked. I glanced beside me to see the serious expression of the one and only Arthur. I managed a smile, "No." I returned my gaze on the landscape in front of me. The sun was ever so slowly starting to wake up with the first few rays of morning.
"Just…surprised and shocked to be here I guess," I replied truthfully. He nodded then frowned, "You really…did travel through time?" I shrugged, "It would be rather complicated to explain…but I guess that the answer is yes. Yes I did."
I laughed, "Then again, it's not exactly time really… but… I suppose discussing it with you would just leave both our heads hurting."
He nodded again and the two of us fell silent. I glanced at the tree where the horses were still tied up. Lancelot noticed me and winked in my direction. I raised an eyebrow at his actions and returned my attention to the sunrise.
Slinky, as if sensing my consciousness slipped out of my backpack and crawled into my lap. I smiled at the ferret and lifted him up to my face to give him a kiss on the top of his furry little head. He squeaked in greeting and I placed him back on my lap where he curled up to retain warmth.
I felt strangely melancholy.
"You know," said I, "I've never seen a sunrise before." Arthur glanced at me, surprised, "Do they not have a sun where you come from?"
"Oh…there is a sun. We just… never paid attention to it I guess."
"How could you not?" he asked, perplexed at my answer.
"Perhaps we were too preoccupied with our lives and troubles to witness a miracle."
I can't believe I just said that. I felt like slapping myself for being so cliché.
Arthur fell silent again before speaking again a few minutes later.
"How's your head?" he asked with concern. I blinked then reached a hand to touch the bandages around my head. He shifted his weight, "Dagonet tended to the wound and wrapped it back up again for you when we switched posts."
"Ah," was my reply though I felt a sinking feeling of dread. Why did Dagonet had to treat my wounds? From the smell, these men doesn't seem to be too big on hygiene.
I hope I don't get an infection.
"Not to seem rude or thankless… but in the future, could you not tend to my wounds if I'm able to tend to them?" I asked. Arthur raised an eyebrow, "Is this a sort of tradition from the people of the future?" I grinned, "No, it's just that I don't like making contact with other men."
It was true… partially.
Arthur raised both eyebrows, then lowered them…then lowered them again into a frown.
"So…you are attracted to…" said he before I realized just exactly what he was implying. My eyes widened, "Oh! No, no, no, nothing like that. I assure you, I'm attracted to men. I just… I'm just not comfortable with contact when they are merely acquaintances." Then, to my relief, he nodded in understanding. I watched with fascination as amusement suddenly twinkled in his eyes.
"Then what exactly were you doing with Dagonet there?" he asked, a smirk gracing his weathered features. I felt my face turn red.
"I assure you, it's nothing of that nature," said I, making a face, "I…I lacked a place to rest my head." Arthur chuckled.
"But of course," said he with a wink in my direction. I stared at him.
Oh my gawd. Arthur's like a more serious, less flirty Lancelot.
I made a face. Ew.
Almost automatically, I mumbled silent apologies to all of the Clive and Ioan fans I knew…and those that I don't know.
As the sun steadily climbed the horizon, the sleeping men rose as well. First was Tristan who looked to possess that same calm and oh-so-cool attitude as last night. He didn't look refreshed nor did he look tired which was surprising considering he only got a few hours of sleep. Next in line was Dagonet who got up and stretched his cramped muscles from last night. When he caught my eye, I nodded my thanks and he smiled and nodded back before leaving to attend to his mount.
On the way over to the tree however, he "accidentally" kicked Bors awake. The muscled man jerked awake with a grunt and glared at his companion before unleashing his bad mood on the two remaining knights on the ground who seemed to be locked in a fighting embrace. I had to bite my wrist to stop myself from collapsing in laughter. They were either having too much fun with each other or in terrible, terrible pain.
Once awake however, they realized their position and quickly untangled themselves with angry and embarrassed words. I grinned and stood up, picking Slinky up as I did so. Holding onto the ferret with one hand, I picked up my bag with the other and slung it over my back. Then, grabbing my bike, I wheeled it over to the horses where Tristan and Lancelot already mounted. But all of them rested their gaze on the strange looking contraption I now held in my hands with unease.
I quirked an eyebrow, "What? It's a bike." They stared and I sighed, "I can't just leave it lying here."
'The archaeologists would have a field day,' I thought to myself gloomily.
"Here," Gawain grunted, grabbing the frame of the bike and hoisted it up, looking surprised as he did so, "It's rather light. Do you think we would be able to bring it with us?" Arthur frowned, "It's too big."
I grinned at the comment before rummaging through my bag and pulled out a small case of screwdrivers with a grin, "That could be fixed."
In a few moments, I had dismantled the bike. The two wheels Galahad offered to carry, the handlebars and the seat were given to Bors and the frame which detached into several pipes were stuffed into my backpack which was then, placed on Dagonet's horse.
I grinned in triumph, "Ta da!"
"Impressive," Arthur murmured then mounted his horse, "Now we must be off." As he turned to the rest of his knights, I looked around, confused as to what I was to do.
"Here, you can ride with me," Galahad said with a smile then offered to help me mount on top of his war horse. I blanched and watched nervously as Arthur started to ride out followed by the rest of the knights.
"Urm…" I leaned over and whispered into Galahad's ear, "I've…I've never rode a horse before."
Galahad laughed so hard until tears streamed down his face.
I felt like punching his pretty little face in.
Gawain glanced behind him, waiting for us, "What's the matter?"
"She doesn't know how to ride," Galahad replied with a grin. Gawain smiled and rode over, offering me his arm from his mount.
"Come Jones, let us leave this insensitive bastard. You may ride with me," he said. I heard Galahad gave an indignant snort at his comment and I couldn't help but smile. I gripped his arm and with a grunt and to my surprise, he hoisted me up behind him with ease.
Ugh… I felt queasy.
"This is…safe?" I asked. He laughed, grabbing hold of the reins, "Just hold on tight now!" With that, the horse jerked forward and with a startled scream, I fell forward and gripped onto the knight tightly for fear of slipping off the saddle. As the horse raced to catch up with the others, I bounced uncomfortably in the saddle behind the knight.
"I don't see why men would want to ride horses. Doesn't it hurt?" I muttered. Gawain grinned, "No, it's actually quite enjoyable."
"I'll keep that in mind the next time someone kicks you in the balls," I replied with a smirk before imitating him in a high pitched voice, "Oh, no, don't bother. It's actually quite enjoyable."
Galahad who had heard rode up heard everything and burst into laughter. The rest of the knights turned around.
"What? What did I miss?" Bors asked, pulling his mount over so that he rode on the other side of Gawain. I merely grinned and shook my head, not wanting to relate the joke since the moment had already passed but Galahad spared no expense as he elaborated on what happened. Gawain rolled his eyes and sighed. I patted him on the shoulder in sympathy. As if to punish me for my little comment, he jerked the horse forward and I crashed into his armor plated back.
I clutched my nose, "What was that for?!"
"What? You don't find it enjoyable?" he asked with a grin then spurred his horse onwards before I could retort a rude comment. Instead, I clung onto his back, afraid to let go lest I find myself among the weed covered ground.
"Maybe I should've declined your offer to ride with you," I muttered darkly when we finally pulled to a rest stop for the horses. Gawain laughed, jumping off his mount and offered his arm to let me down. I took it gratefully.
"Come now, it wasn't that bad," he told me with a grin then let go. I stumbled then grabbed him to support myself.
Oh Hell. My legs had gone numb.
Seeing my predicament however, Gawain laughed. I shot him a dirty look, "you knew this was going to happen didn't you?" He grinned and shook his head, "No. No idea but I suppose this happens to all first time riders."
I managed to stumble to a tree and leaned against it as Gawain led his horse to a small stream to refresh the animal. Muttering oaths to myself, I tested my shoulders and stretched my back. Bouncing in a saddle for hours would result in a chiropractor's dream customer. I made a face with a heard a crack then slumped against the tree trunk, visibly exhausted.
"Here." A mug of water was thrust under my nose and I looked up, surprised.
"Urm…thanks" said I to Dagonet, accepting the mug from him hands. He shrugged and leaned against the tree as well, biting into an apple he pulled from one of the bags on his horse. I sniffed at the mug. Noticing, he cast me a smile.
"It's clean," he said, biting into the apple once more. Well it would be rude not to drink it… I drank the water hesitantly.
To my surprise, the water was both cool and refreshing. I was still careful on my part. Having drained half the mug, I handed it back over to Dagonet who threw the apple core on the ground and drank up the other half.
"Urm…thanks," I said again.
"It's only water," he replied, quirking an eyebrow before packing the mug back into his saddlebag. I shifted nervously, "No… for… for last night." He grinned and nodded his acknowledgement to my gratitude.
"Come on, we best be going if we want to make it to the Wall tomorrow," Arthur announced, mounting his horse yet again. The others followed suit. Gawain, yet again, rode to me and hoisted me back onto his mount. I groaned in despair, "Again?"
He nodded with a silly grin, "Don't worry, I'll be gentle this time. That is, unless you like it rough."
I laughed, "Gentle is good. Especially since that insensitive bastard is looking rather appealing as of now" Gawain summed up what he thought of my comment with a snort.
With that, we set off yet again.
…
The sun was beginning to set when Arthur announced, thankfully, that we were to pull to a stop and make camp for the night. When Gawain dragged me off his horse, I had to touch my legs to feel if they actually existed in this crazed dimension.
It certainly didn't feel like they did.
At this point, Gawain had graciously set me down beside a tree and much to my dismay, beside the horses that were also tied up to the tree. I let out a silent moan, 'Why me?'
It was to be the most embarrassing death ever. Trampled by horses.
I glared at the beasts, 'I can hardly wait.'
As if sensing my malice, one of the war horses turned to look at me and the two of us stared at each other for a…long, long time. That is, before I nervously backed away. As if sensing my hesitation, the horse neighed and pawed the ground in front of me. I shifted my weight again, trying to get away from it…which was harder that it looked without the use of my legs.
Noticing my plight however, Galahad had came to my rescue.
Well, he was going to come to my rescue.
After he finished laughing anyways. I glowered at the man but noticing the glare, he burst into fresh peals of laughter. He was later joined by Gawain… and Bors… and Lancelot. Eventually however, it was Tristan who took pity on me and hoisted me up by the collar of my shirt rather unceremoniously and dropped me down beside another tree, away from the horses. When he left, he muttered something about useless women which caused me to prickle but I refrained from saying anything. He's actually quite intimidating in real life.
As the men started to set up camp, I started to rub some feelings back into my legs. When my legs were finally able to support me, I wobbled over to Dagonet's steed and grabbed my bag. I wobbled back to the tree again, away from the camp fire they had set up.
Tristan and Bors had managed to snag a couple of rabbits each which were now, happily turning over the fire. As hungry as I was, I don't think I like the taste or rabbit. Slinky was a whole other story. Upon smelling the meat, he had climbed out of my bag and now sat patiently in Dagonet's lap. It seemed like they had acquainted themselves during the ride here.
I rummaged through my backpack. I usually have a couple of energy bars or chocolate bars tucked away for emergencies. Emergencies such as me not being able to get back into the house because Grace has "company" over. With a cry of triumph, I fished out five bars and much to my surprise and immense delight, two packs of unopened pork jerky. In terms of beverage material, I found a can of Pepsi, a can of root beer and a half full bottle of mineral water. Vaguely, I wondered why I had two cans of pop in my bag.
"What's that?" asked Gawain, who in his curiosity, had wandered over to the tree and was now staring at the shiny packaging of the food and beverages in wonderment.
"It's food," I replied, hastily stuffing back the food.
"Food? Food does not look like… that," Lancelot commented from behind me. I almost jumped into the air. I glared at the knight who had almost succeeded in scaring the daylights out of me.
"It's food from my time."
"Hmm…I suppose we would have to believe your tall tale of you coming from the future then?" he asked with a smug look on his face. I shrugged. I wasn't in the mood.
"Believe what you want," I replied then pointed to the campfire, "Your bunny's roasting. Go." After exchanging looks, Lancelot and Gawain returned to the fire. Grabbing one of the energy bars from my bag, I unwrapped it gingerly. After a few minutes, the thing was gone and I felt slightly better. After having dined on one of Dagonet's apples for the entire day, I felt strangely full.
"Come Jones! Join us!" Bors called from the fire. I hastily grabbed the can of Pepsi, zipped up my bag and wobbled over to the fire. A space was made for me between Gawain and Dagonet.
"What's that then?" Lancelot asked, full of curiosity and gesturing to the can I held in my hand. I grinned, "It's pop." With that, I grabbed the tab at the top and pulled. Much to my delight and amusement, the can emitted a loud hissing sound as the gas escaped. In turn, causing the knights to flinch and reach for their weapons. I laughed then took a sip.
"It's safe, see?" I held out the can for them to witness. The can was greeted with murmurs from the knights. I took another sip, "By the way, your bunny's burning."
With a yell, Bors jumped and snatched the roasting meat from the fire. A small portion of the meat was now burnt black and looked rather hard to eat. Lancelot snatched up the other stick containing the other two rabbits and examined it for any inedible portions. He grinned.
"It seems like yours is the only one burnt, Bors," he commented jovially. Taking a leg, he wrenched it off and I winced when I heard the sickening crack of breaking bones. He passed the stick to Arthur who followed suit, taking the other thigh. Bors muttered his own oaths before tearing off one of the thighs of his own and passing the stick to Tristan. The passing along of food went on for a bit as each knight took a share. Upon receiving his share, Dagonet held the stick out for me and I swore I almost threw up into the can of Pepsi.
I jerked back from my seat, "Urm… no thanks." Gawain raised an eyebrow, already tearing into a piece of rabbit meat, "Not hungry? You hardly ate anything." I managed a grin, "Food from the future." The smell from the rabbit was overpowering…and not in a good way.
Nervously, I pushed back Dagonet's arm so that the offensive stick was no longer directly in front of my twitching nostrils. He merely shrugged then tore off a piece for Slinky who accepted the meat gratefully. With that, he passed it around the circle the other way. I took another sip of Pepsi, trying to force myself not to vomit. I did not want to purge the bar I just ate because that would meant that I wasted an energy bar…and who knows how long I'm going to be stuck here.
I shuddered. Not long I hope. I certainly did not want to live on rabbits for the rest of my life.
Upon finishing their dinner, the knights washed the meat down with water they had collected from the stream earlier that day. Gawain leaned his head against my shoulder, thankfully, now clear of breath from rabbit's meat, "You know Jones…I'm curious as to what that thing you've been drinking taste like."
I grinned. This was so exciting!
"Want a sip?" I asked, holding out the can. He took it from me hesitantly and my grinned widened when he lifted it up to his lips, "Just…don't drink too much at once."
Too late.
He sputtered and choked on the fizzy liquid. I snatched the can away from him before he could spill the precious contents inside. Bors rushed to thump his friend on the back in a vain attempt to relieve the choking knight.
"What did you do to him?!" Arthur exclaimed, marching into the scene. I looked at him with big innocent eyes…or at least, what I hoped were big innocent eyes.
"She has poisoned Gawain!" Bors exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger in my direction. Arthur shot me a dangerous look and I cringed.
"It's not poison! He just drank too much too fast!" I protested. The other knights had made a wall between me and their comrades and I watched with crazed fear (and maybe a little bit of embarrassment) as their hands inched towards their weapons.
"Gawain?" I called, whimpering, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," he croaked out then slumped against the tree, breathing hard. The knights quickly looked towards their "fallen" comrade while Arthur stood where he was, fixing a stern gaze on me.
"It's not poison! He just drank too fast!" I protested again. I held out the can, "Watch." With that, I took another sip and looked at him pointedly, as if proving that the can of Pepsi wasn't poison.
Meanwhile, Gawain was starting to protest against the attention his comrades were giving him. He roughly shoved Galahad away as he stood up, "I'm fine! I'm fine!" He then glanced in my direction with a grin, "Other than the burning sensation, I'd have to say that whatever you have your in hand is certainly, quite different from wine." He licked his lips, "It's certainly sweeter than wine."
"See? See? He's fine! He's alright!" I exclaimed, pointing at Gawain in an almost hysterical manner. Arthur still gave me a stern look before leaving to inspect his companion himself. I quickly left the scene, can of Pepsi in one hand, a fist in the other, and headed for the tree where my backpack awaited me.
I sat down, exhausted. I'm just going to stay out of their way for tonight. With one last swig, I finished rest of the can and stuffed it into a spare pocket in my backpack. I'll have to find some way to discard it later. Seeing as how Slinky had taken a shine towards Dagonet, I left him with the knight. Taking my bag and placing it behind me, I tried to find a comfortable position against the tree.
And since I wasn't much of an outdoors person, I failed miserably.
"Blasted tree," I muttered under my breath, glaring at the trunk as if my glare would make the hard bark turn into a soft pillow. With a sigh, I placed the bag on the ground and lied down, resting my head against the bag. I glanced back at the campfire. Apparently, sentry duty was thrust upon Gawain and Galahad for the first shift with Bors and Dagonet on the second. I felt sorry for Dagonet having spent two consecutive nights on sentry duty.
Only for a little while though. He was a knight after all, he was probably used to this by now. I closed my eyes and with a small murmur, tried to get some sleep before the day starts… all over again for me tomorrow morning.
Ah… fucking hell. I'm really starting to hate horses.
End: Chapter Three
…
A/N: And yet another chapter is completed. Huzzah and all that. And because I'm bored and it's fun to do… I'm going to reply to reviewers! (yaaaay!) And because it's simpler this way, I'm going to answer a lot of reviewers by stating that: I do not know of I'm going to kill any of them off. Maybe… maybe not. I guess we'll see how it plays out since I'm playing with the different concepts and the theory of the whole "Every action has an equal reaction" thing.
Manic P: Wai! You don't know how much that means to me, especially from a writer like yourself. Now shoo and go update "Thousand Mile Wish".
Racynacch SilverMoon: I agree with what you said about the quotation marks and have taken your advice. Is it better and easier to read?
Sweet A.K: Thanks! I feel much better now about the bickering thing between the knights. It somehow doesn't seem right in my head.
Pencil3: You know, you're like the only reviewer I have that has reviewed both my stories. For that, you deserve a special glomp! GLOMP
satine19: Hmm… I don't know about romance because this is supposed to be more of a funny, sarcastic kind of fanfic… but I guess we'll see how it turns out. In any case, I'd rather if you not label my character a Mary Sue because to me, the term has negative connotations attached. OCs are probably a more accurate term.
DemonicKiwi: salutes Yessir! Er… yes ma'am? 0
whitespirit2: Thanks! I try to be creative… well no, I guess the main reason is because I was trying to find a reason to taser Cynric… Aaaaah… I love Cynric. No, I don't think I want to venture into Shakespearean language… I'll deal with that in English class. -
bakachan17: Huzzah! Another satisfied customer.
ShyLittleViolet: Heh heh heh… dimension hopping and all it joys…which incidentally and rather conveniently includes hot shexy men. Rawr.
A/N(2): See? I even replied your reviews! Now review some more! Go clicky the little button… clickety clicky click click! Click it I say!
