A/N — for Aspect, who asked how Sasha found out about Kara's miscarriage. xoxo — tmtcltb

x

Bang, bang, bang.

Sasha buried her pounding head in the pillow as Tom snapped on the light. "I'm going to kill whoever that is. Just as soon as my head stops spinning."

Bang, bang, bang. "Admiral Chandler?"

"It's Russ," Tom replied, voice husky from sleep.

That got Sasha's attention and she sat straight up, blinking at the glare of the bedside lamp as her eyes adjusted. A middle of the night call from Ashley might be a false alarm — at twenty she hadn't quite moved past the my-life-is-over-because-I-had-a-fight-with-my-boyfriend stage — but if Russ was banging on their door at, Sasha squinted at her watch, 0527 on a Sunday morning, something was seriously wrong.

Yanking on a pair of pants, Tom stumbled towards their bedroom door. "I'll be right back."

Now awake, Sasha began cataloging the people that they knew. Delta was home, currently assigned to desk duty. Besides, Russ asked for Tom rather than Sasha, suggesting that this was non-intelligence related. She and Tom were out with Mike and Christine last night and, while the two bottles of cabernet that the four of them split was the reason for Sasha's currently aching head, it seemed unlikely that something terrible happened to Mike in the four hours since they parted. That left the Nathan James, which was out to sea for training exercises or, and Sasha felt sick even thinking of the possibility, there had been some kind of attack.

Sasha held her breath as Tom returned, dropping wearily onto the side of the bed. When he didn't speak, Sasha reached out a hand, resting it on his knee. "Tom?" He looked at her then, and Sasha could see sorrow mirrored in his eyes. Her heart sank, her voice a whisper. "What happened?"

Tom raised a hand, rubbed his forehead. "The press got wind of Kara's miscarriage and it's all over the morning papers. Mike's being inundated with calls, so we need to figure out a response ASAP. Green's not answering his phone, but Val tracked both of their signals to Foster's house. Mike doesn't want to send a team over there until we have a plan in place but if either of them contact you, loop me or Mike in so we can start damage control."

Sasha lifted a hand for him to stop, blaming her aching head for the clear misunderstanding. "They broke the story about what?"

"Kara's miscarriage," Tom repeated, sighing, he stood. Reaching into the closet, he pulled out a uniform, before stepping out of his joggers. "Mike said at least one paper is hinting that the Navy knew the vaccine wasn't safe for pregnant women when it was originally released. We'll have to get Rachel to make a statement assuring the public that..."

"Stop." Sasha interrupted. "Backup. What miscarriage?"

Tom glanced back, a frown ghosting across this face. "Kara's miscarriage. During the vaccine trial." When Sasha remained silent, Tom made his way back to the bed, sitting down next to Sasha, shirt half buttoned. "You didn't know? I thought..."

Sasha suppressed a feeling of frustration. After all, it was 0532 and neither one of them was at their best. "No, I didn't know. So start at the beginning. Kara had a miscarriage?"

"Yes, during the trial." Tom carded his hand through his hair, making it stand straight up. "Kara was sickest from the beginning. Her symptoms were different from everyone else, even Maya. She had a stroke. That's when Rachel started running more tests." Sasha nodded. So far, this was all familiar territory, both Danny and Tex having dropped enough hints here and there for Sasha to figure out generally what happened. "One of the tests was a pregnancy test. Lord knows what made her think that might be a possibility when it never occurred to anyone else. I was the one who told Danny." Tom paused, swallowing, the anguish in his eyes bringing a lump to her throat. "They were dying. I thought that, if I were in Green's shoes, I would have wanted to know. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice."

Sasha's hand shot out, wrapped around Tom's wrist. "You made the best choice you could under horrible circumstances. Don't question that."

Tom stared out the window, then his hands moved back to his shirt, fixing the buttons. Standing, he moved to the dresser to pull out socks. "There's never been a hint about this in the press and, believe me, we've had Val looking. That's how Mike found out so quickly, Val had some sort of automatic alert running."

As that registered, Sasha felt a flare of ire. Val knew and she didn't? Yet as quickly as it appeared, her anger disappeared.

Because this wasn't about her.

Tom was still talking, rambling, as though the dam had burst and he couldn't stop. "That's one of the reasons Rachel has been so adamant about keeping the records from the first trial sealed. That and Baltimore."

Baltimore. Again, she had heard the comments, even knew better than to mention the word Baltimore to Danny in casual conversation. Now, however, Sasha made a mental note to find out exactly what happened and how it involved medical records.

Tom blew out a breath. "Either someone from the crew slipped," Sasha found this option unlikely given that she wasn't aware, "or we have a leak."

Like what happened with Tavo.

The last time there was a breach, Tavo almost managed to take out half the Navy. But, something seemed off. Sasha's mind whirled. "There was no mention of the miscarriage in Green's official file, even the redacted version that has the write-up for fraternization."

Yet didn't mention Kara's name. Strange how Sasha hadn't picked up on that until now.

"We stripped it," Tom confirmed. "From both of their files."

"This would have to be a leak of the medical files then," Sasha continued, sucking in a breath as she realized what that might mean.

Tom's eyes flitted to hers and then away. "There was no reference to us in the article."

"That doesn't mean there won't be," Sasha replied. She stood, stepping into his discarded joggers and pulling on a cardigan. She glanced over her shoulder. "You should prepare for the possibility, Tom."

The possibility that tomorrow's headline would hit far closer to home.

"I know." Tom sighed, then stepped closer, wrapping her in his arms. "I'll probably be gone all day."

She lifted a hand, smoothing down his hair. "Do you want me to come in?"

"No," Tom stepped back, toeing his feet into his shoes. "It's possible this is some sort of trap, drawing us all to Command. Stay here but stay alert."

So, she wasn't the only one thinking about Tavo and his plans, foiled only by the slimmest of margins.

"Do you want me to call Dennis?" She offered. While Dennis was no Val, two minds were better than one.

"Good idea," Tom replied as he finished tying his shoes. He stood, turning towards the door, before stopping. He reached out to brush her hair behind her shoulder. "I thought that you knew, Sasha."

Of course he did.

Frankly, this was all Wolf's fault. He was the one, back when Sasha first stepped foot on the Nathan James, who gave her the head's up about Danny and Kara's complicated history. Unfortunately, he failed to mention why it was complicated, and Sasha made the rookie mistake of not asking.

Reading her own past with Tom into Danny's relationship with Kara.

Perhaps that's why this news felt like such a shock. Not simply because Sasha didn't know — she would bet her last dollar that she didn't know half of what Tex had done in his life — but because all of the signs were there, and she misread them. Years of missed clues — Kara's reaction upon meeting up with them after the Henan was destroyed, Danny's upon seeing the news reports claiming that Tavo had taken out the Nathan James — all suddenly came together in a new way. In a way that made sense. Danny and Kara weren't bound simply by a shared past.

They were bound together by a loss.

One that only the two of them could understand.

The loss of a child, a bond that could never be undone or broken.

That was something Sasha, and Tom, understood too well.

"I knew they had ... history," Sasha said finally. "But I didn't know about the pregnancy or miscarriage."

Tom's jaw was working again. "We don't...they don't talk about it. And we all respect that. Everyone probably assumes that you know."

Sasha nodded, suspecting that he was right. She would never tell tales about Danny or Tex. What Wolf and Azima did on their time off was their personal business. And, in return, the team never asked about Tom or their own efforts to have a child. And yet, somehow, they all seemed to know everything about each other anyway. She tried to find a silver lining. "At least they had time to grieve privately."

Concern flickered across Tom's face. Worry, Sasha suspected, that they would not have the same luxury. Not if, as Tom seemed to suspect, someone managed to access their private medical files. Because Sasha doubted anyone scrubbed out their last, failed, IVF attempt.

"You should go," Sasha said softly. "I'll call Dennis and then reach out to Danny."

Tom hesitated, then nodded. "I'll keep you posted. Maybe Reiss won't catch wind of this until a more reasonable hour."

Fat chance of that.

Sasha didn't bother to respond, already dialing Dennis's number. Moving to the kitchen as they talked, she snapped on the coffee pot. By the time she got off the phone with Dennis, her coffee was ready and Sasha settled, mug in hand, in front of her computer to read every article she could find.

By the time Tex's name flashed across the screen of her phone, an hour had passed, and Sasha felt more in control. The shock of realizing how much she missed having passed, leaving her merely chagrined. She was even less annoyed at Wolf, recalling the chaos of those early days dealing with both Peng and Takehaya, followed by the chaos that Shaw instigated. Back then, there were few reasons to believe that the tension between Danny and Kara was due to anything more than a relationship doomed to second priority status by the virus.

She should have become suspicious later, though. Not because of anything to do with Kara, but because of how Danny reacted when Sasha first shared the news with the team that she would be taking a step back in order to, she hoped, eventually become a mother. Even more telling was the way he responded after Sasha told the team about each failed attempt. Strange how she never made that connection, assuming that his discomfort was due to the conversation subject or to his own fear that, like so many of the crew from the Nathan James, the fallout from the nuclear explosion in France meant he would be unable to father a child.

"Did Garnett get called in?" Sasha asked without preamble.

"Naturally," Tex confirmed. "The Nathan James is closing ranks."

"Tom's worried that someone hacked the Navy's medical files. But these articles have a personal feel to them. Sure there are hints that the vaccine wasn't safe but the language is pretty careful, as if the writer wasn't sure exactly what happened and was fudging things a bit." Sasha hesitated. "As crazy as it sounds, I think one of the crew said something."

There was a pause, then Tex sighed. "It was the kid."

"Miller?" Now that was a shock. "Does Tom know?"

"Russ's filing him and the Admiral in now." Tex sighed. "Not to excuse Rick but...we didn't know what the hell we were doing when we volunteered for that trial. The things that he saw, well, sometimes you need to talk to someone."

"Or you go crazy," Sasha finished softly. Because there was simply no way for any of the rest of them to understand what Tex and Andrea and Kara and Rick and Russ — and, to a lesser extent, Tom, Mike, Rachel and Danny — went through. Sometimes you just had to be there. "Tom will figure out a way to calm Reiss down."

That drew a chuckle. "Why do you think he got Red in there so quick? It's all about the optics, darling. Not that I appreciated the crack-of-dawn wakeup, mind you, but if I was looking at a fun-filled visit from Lord Business, I'd want Red and the Master Chief front and center too. Keeps his excellency from yelling at someone who might yell back and serves as a reminder that publicly berating one of the Vaccine Six probably won't go well."

Damn it, Sasha hated when Tex figured out something that she had missed. "That's why Tom and Mike didn't send someone around to Kara's house. They weren't sure how Danny would react."

"Probably why the Commodore left you at home too. You do have a reputation for flipping Reiss the bird." Tex's voice softened. "He's going to freak out."

"Tom can take care of himself," Sasha replied absently.

Tex actually laughed. "I meant Green, but take it how you want, Cooper."

Sasha took another sip of coffee, Tom's comment from earlier rolled around her head. "What happened in Baltimore, Tex?"

There was a long pause. "Not my story, Mrs. Commodore."

Fair. Sasha tapped her fingers on the table. "Tell me this. How bad was it?"

"Remember Green down in Columbia?"

"Yes."

Tex's voice was dead serious. "Baltimore was worse."

Fuck.

Tex was right. Danny was going to lose his shit and get himself — and Kara — in a world of trouble. Leaving the rest of them to pick up the pieces.

"I'm going to call Danny," Sasha said, clicking off without another word.

Another hour of automatic re-dial, Danny finally picked up. "What the hell, Cooper. It's Sunday morning and I'm off your team. Remember?"

"I need you to shut up and listen to me," Sasha said. "First, go somewhere private. Away from Kara."

"She's got a higher clearance than either of us, Sasha." Danny snapped. Then, her disapproving silence apparently communicating over the telephone just fine, he sighed. "I was in the shower. Just got out. Kara's on the phone with her mother."

Crap. Sasha had met Debbie Foster only a handful of times, but the woman hadn't struck her as the calming type.

"The press broke the story about Kara's miscarriage during the vaccine trial," Sasha said bluntly. "Miller slipped up."

"What the ..."

Sasha cut him off. "I know you want to punch something, Danny, but you need to listen to me. You need to trust me. This, today, cannot be about you."

Danny's only response was heavy breathing but, given that she didn't hear anything breaking, Sasha plowed on.

"You once told me that you lost everything that you cared about five years ago and that you would do anything to get it back. Well, you're getting that chance. Because this is your re-do. And you need to really think about how you want to handle this because if you screw it up this time, you aren't going to get another shot. Do you hear me?"

"Yes," he said finally. Sasha waited as one minute ticked by, then another. "How bad is it?"

At least he sounded calm. "Tom is dealing with Reiss. Mike said he'll handle it however you and Kara want — up to and including issuing a general denial." Sasha let that hang there, making sure that Danny understood. He and Kara weren't in this alone. "I was supposed to conference them in as soon as I got hold of you, but I can run interference for a bit if you want to talk to Kara."

"I'll get back to you. And Cooper?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

As Danny disconnected, Sasha leaned back in her chair, lifting her mug to her mouth, only to realize that her coffee was cold. She stood to start a new pot, gazing out the kitchen window.

She had done what she could.

Now all there was to do was wait.