Julia stared after Nick as he disappeared back towards his car. She didn't even understand how everything came down to this. Things before she met him were perfect, everything was simple. The only complications in her life was her own problems she had kept bottled up inside. He, however, he was complicated, and so was her friends around her.
She had realized everyone had matured and became more complex while she remained simple with very little true stress. "Julia, do you need to talk about this some more?" she heard her father ask in concern; he must have been looking at the heart broken stare she had stained into her eyes.
"No, dad," Julia replied harshly, "You've done enough for one day haven't you? Prying into my deepest secrets about mom and you letting me make a fool of myself in front of the school?" She didn't know why, but suddenly all the insecurity, the anger, the negativity she had locked away inside herself came out in rivers of rage; and to her father, the man who didn't deserve it at all. "No, Dad, you've ruined everything else already, just," the words were on her lips before she could stop herself, "Just stay out of my life!"
Landon froze to the sound of those words and stared with shock and pain reflecting in his eyes. "Julia," he mumbled in a short plea, praying deeply he hadn't heard those words coming from the only other family he had, and his daughter no less?
"Just, go away," she sobbed out and stormed back toward her car, leaving Landon standing where she left him. Hot tears streamed her face and she felt as the though the world was closing in, and she was being drowned inside of herself. It seemed she was ruining all of the lives she mingled with. Cassie still hadn't said a word to her.
She ran into her car and turned the key in its ignition, driving out of the parking lot. She wasn't even sure if she could trust herself, she didn't even seem to know what was right or wrong. As she pulled into one of the intersections she caught glimpse of the back road that had taken her and Nick to his favorite place.
For reasons she could not understand she pulled into the turning lain and planned on sitting out near the lake. Praying it would be as peaceful as it had been the night she and Nick went there. As she pulled into the dirt parking lot she found that the sound of the water made her feel a little better from just hearing it. It was soothing.
She knew she could easily clear her head here. Within moments she was sitting on the beach and crying out desperately. Love? What was it? To her it was a deceiving feeling, the worst and the best. It gives you a glimpse of heaven but then throws you back down to hell when it's all said and done. That was what she had taught herself, though now she wasn't so sure.
She longed for Nick, she wanted to get to know him better, and he was already so sweet and could relate to things she could have never imagined. It was as if everything that had happened in the past couple of weeks was fate.
A bitter laugh formed on her lips, fate? Why had fate come to mind? She knew everything happened for a reason, but had never really considered fate or destiny before and now she sobbed even more. Destiny is what killed her mother when she was born, destiny is what left her father to deal with the pain of her mother's death, destiny is what brought her and Nick together. She wished silently that fate would just go to hell and stay there.
Wind rustled around her through the trees, the water rushing in the lake sounded soothing and comforting. What came next she could never explain, but slowly, very slowly she began to relax. Warmth spread from her shoulders down to the tips of her toes and her tears dried in her eyes. It was as if someone had lifted the weight off of her shoulders and she was free for a few minutes to feel nature surrounding her.
Birds chirped here and there, with the sound of frogs croaking from the bank of the lake. The wind whispered softly against her face as she closed her eyes and felt the tender caress air sweeping over.
Soon she found herself lying back in the grass and closing her eyes. This is a peaceful way to end my pain, she thought as she slowly drifted off to sleep…
-later-
About an hour after Julia had shown up at the lake, Nick's car pulled in next to hers in the drive way. When he caught glimpse of her car he jumped out immediately and found his way to the bank. "Julia!" he called, cupping his hands around his mouth. "Julia, I know you here!"
His eyes fell on Julia's figure almost as soon as he reached the edge of the water and he rushed over to her. "Julia," he whispered gently. When he saw she was still breathing and had only fallen asleep he gave a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but whatever it was he had dismissed it. He stripped off his baseball cap and sun glasses, peering at her.
She was so beautiful. He thought as she stared at her sleeping figure. Her light brown hair matted across her face shading her eyes, and her lips looked soft and luring. She was just like a fairy, he had decided, the way she lied against the earth with the long blades of grass and wild flowers encircling her. He smiled, if only she had wings, he thought, she could be an angel.
He couldn't wake her, she looked to peaceful to disrupt; though he couldn't keep back the urge to touch her. Slowly he reached his fingers out to touch her and found himself outlining the frame of her face. He smiled softly at her, her skin was like silk to the touch, so soft and smooth. He draped her long hair back over the side of her head so he could see her face without having to search through her hair strands. Nick held himself back from kissing her, though was slowly losing reasons to hold back.
Suddenly, without warning, not even a slight twitch that could have said 'hey, Nick, I'm waking up now,' to let him be aware, her eyes fluttered open. "You," she muttered in a dream-like state. Nick was surprised she hadn't jolted or jumped in shock to find him sitting only mere inches from her, especially after what had happened after school, why he was even there now he didn't know.
"Me," he replied softly. He smiled at her and took the time to look into her eyes, eyes that he could stare into until the world came to an end. "I came out here to think, and I found you." A crooked smile filled his face, "I guess you decided the same, except sleeping was on your agenda."
Julia blinked and stirred, not sure why finding him lying next to her was so comforting, but she dismissed the thought easily. "I didn't exactly plan on sleeping. I guess it was what I needed though." Slowly Nick watched as her eyes clouded with realization and she found herself scooting away from him immediately. "Oh, Nick, I am so sorry!"
Tears brimmed and she found it easier to pull her knees into her chest and hold herself there. Now she was humiliated. She had completely forgotten the incident after school and finding out that he was standing and overhearing everything I was saying to my dad. Like how I was avoiding Nick, when really those weren't the right words she wanted to say. She couldn't take them back now.
"It wasn't that I was avoiding you, I was just," more tears fell silently down her cheeks as she searched for the right words to say. "I was scared," I mumbled at last. It was truth, after all, though she didn't know why it was hurting her to admit it. "I had always known love to be something that would deceive you and take you to heaven and then—leave you in the darkest of places in the end. It's what always happened to my friends, what happened to my dad."
She dared to catch his eyes and found them stained with her, but crying out to her that he understood. She felt she wanted to explain more—she needed to explain more. Though she never received the chance…
Nick suddenly collapsed in the grass, not fully becoming unconscious because he had enough strength to keep himself slightly propped. "Dear God, are you alright?" Julia almost cried. He didn't answer. "Nick?"
"Dizzy," was all that he mumbled before he collapsed in the damp grass, losing all consciousness…
A/N ok, I'm sorry this chapter took so long… My boyfriend and I just recently broke up after 8 months… it was really hard for me to work on romance fics because of it… Anyways herez a new chapter! Plz tell me what you..
