Author's Note: A good part of this is very violent, so um, if you don't like lotsa pain and erm, cranium-breaking and screaming and salt, don't read it. And I will make more chapters.

Camriella was in her second year at Hogwarts. She was Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team and she was…dun dun dun…an Animagus. Her animal form was a bald eagle, for her home country. She often soared the skies at night, spying on the sleeping children in their dormitories, travelling the world. As a human, her long wavy golden hair rippled gracefully down her back and her stunning blue eyes would change to the darkest of gray when she was irritated or upset. Her school robes were tight around her curves-in-all-the-right-places and underneath, a black tube top and a miniskirt could be seen. She was very tall. Did I mention she had enormous white bat wings?

Camriella and her friends strutted off to breakfast a bit tiredly, after a long night of telling jokes and playing Truth or Dare. They sat in their usual place in the middle of the Gryffindor table. Camriella conjured her own food out of thin air with a flick of her azure-coloured wand. She ate a wonderful breakfast of sweet blue fruits and mint green tea (A/N: just lyk me!1 I luv mint green tee!), because she couldn't afford to get fat.

"Tonight was awesome, wasn't it?" said one of her girlfriends, who was called Mandy.

"Totally cool," declared Camriella with a nod and a grin.

"So are you gonna do it, Cammy? Are you?" chorused her friends.

Camriella flapped her wings and her line of vision crept over to the spot where Harry Potter was sitting.

"Of course," said she.

"But he's in his seventh year! That's like, um, seven years bigger than you!" gasped an intelligent friend of Cammy's.

"Five years, and even so, he can't help but fall for me. You dared me to do it last night, so I'm doing it," bragged the Sue.

"Yeah, 'cause you're so pretty. I mean, if I didn't know you, I'd be like, 'omg! Why's that seventh year in second year?' but that would be stupid, 'cause you're too smart to re-do a year five times, you're just really well-developed! You go girl!" said Mandy. Camriella nodded with a smile that showed all her well-developed teeth.

After lunch, they went off to Potions class. Snape walked in and closed the door behind him.

"Hi, class. Turn to page 665 and make me Amortentia, please!" he smiled and went behind his desk.

Camriella conjured all of the ingredients out of thin air and followed the instructions very precisely.

"Two drops of grapefruit juice…simmer for two minutes…" she muttered under her breath, "…three dried Doxy droppings—omg! Ew! —Stir clockwise eight times…"

Your potion must now be your favorite color, and should smell like all the things you love. If it is incorrect, it will smell putrid.

The bat-winged preteen smelled her beautiful potion.

"Omg, it smells like…omg…honey, popularity, sugar, originality and well-thought-out-ness, and Harry Potter! Omg, we were meant to be!" she breathed.

"Your potions should now be finished," declared Snape as he bounced off to look at everyone's potions, his long and silky black hair billowing behind him.

"Oh, nice, yes, not bad…what is this supposed to be, Longbottom? Hmm, not bad…that merits a P, Mr. Weasley…oh my, Camriella (A/N: he calls her by her first name 'cus she's sooooo awesome! and 'causeI couldn't think of a last name! lolz!), this is a very good potion," he said, raising his clipboard and writing "Outstanding".

After Potions, everyone had break. Harry was sitting in his favorite armchair, looking sadly at the flames in the fireplace. Hermione and Ron were kissing in a corner. Camriella approached Harry shyly, asking, "Can I sit here?"

"Well, it's only one armchair…" started Harry. Camriella squeezed in next to him anyway, looking into his emerald eyes. A few moments passed while the Suethor typed up something along the lines of "Harry fell in love with Camriella."

Harry fell in love with Camriella. He gazed into her beautiful sapphire eyes, feeling dizzy and giddy.

"I…love you, Cam," he whispered.

"I love you too, Harry," answered Camriella, and her lips met his.

A few minutes later, Harry and Camriella's lips were still stuck together. Hermione and Ron came back, hand in hand.

"Oh damn, I forgot," said Hermione.

"Bloody hell," pronounced Ron, staring at the golden-haired girl's wings.

"How old is she, exactly?" asked Hermione.

"Erm, twelve, I think," sneered Ron.

Ron looked at Hermione. Hermione looked at Ron. They nodded their heads and Ron tapped Camriella on the shoulder.

"Wouldn't it be more romantic to kiss outside, by the lake?" said he.

"Oh my! Awesome idea, Ronnie!" said she, forgetting that she had forgotten to warp Ron and Hermione's characters.

The two Sue lovebirds bounced off to sit by the lake. Ron and Hermione stole Harry's invisibility cloak and followed close behind.

"Wait until they kiss again," whispered Hermione.

They did not wait for a long time. A few seconds later, Harry pulled Camriella into a passionate kiss.

"Labiae abrumpere1!" said Hermione, and suddenly the kissers' lips ripped apart, making a sound like a plunger being withdrawn from the toilet.

"Good one, Hermione," murmured Ron with a grin.

Camriella glared at Harry and shouted, "Omg! You retard! Why did you break away?" Harry whimpered, "I didn't, I swear!" Camriella snarled and screeched, "Omg, go away! Omg, I hate you! I wanna be alone here! Ok?"

Harry, astonished, stomped away.

"We've got her alone," said Ron gleefully.

"Expelliarmus!" said Hermione loudly, emerging from underneath the cloak.

"Ahhh! Omg! Beetch! What did you do that for?" shrieked the doomed Sue.

"Just so you can't defend yourself, honey. You should've written yourself as 'capable of deflecting curses without a wand'," sneered Hermione.

"Tarantallegra!" shouted Ron, also taking off the cloak.

Dancing wildly, Camriella screamed curses and swears at them.

"Scourgify!" said Hermione, and Camriella's mouth filled with soap.

Soon, two other students joined the fun: Neville and Luna.

"Furnunculus!" yelled Neville, hitting his victim right on the nose. Her whole face was now covered in boils.

"Good one," chorused Luna, Hermione, and Ron.

"I hear you can transform into an eagle?" said Ron conversationally.

"I can, you bastard," snarled Camriella, and without further ado, did so.

"Crucio!" yelled Hermione, "I've always wondered if that works on animals," she added, watching the eagle writhe and scream on the ground.

Luna stepped on its left wing, emitting a satisfying crack. Camriella instantly turned back into a human, panting.

"Levicorpus" was Ron's next spell, and he directed the unside-down floatinggirl's bodyover the lake, staring at her exposed underwear underneath the robes and skirt.

"Liberacorpus!" said Hermione with a flick of her wand. She then conjured a small boulder to fall on the Sue's head. An ear-splitting scream was cut short as the rock split her head.

"Aw, that wasn't enough," whined Neville.

Hermione lifted the boulder (with her wand, of course), and crudely glued the Sue's skull back together after bringing her back to shore. Camriella didn't have enough brain for the blow to have damaged it.

"Next step: Muggle fighting," declared Luna, taking a Swiss army knife out of her pocket. She carved the word "Mary Sue" on Camriella's exposed thigh.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" cried the girl, "I DON'T WANNA DIIIIIEEEEEE!"

Neville took a handful of Camriella's hair and beckoned Ron to come over and step on her head. Ron complied, and Neville pulled with all his strength, finally ripping out half of her hair, leaving the scalp red and bloody.

"Anyone got salt?" inquired Luna.

Hermione conjured a saltshaker and sprinkled some onto the Sue's scalp, rubbing it in harshly (with gloves on).

"Should we end its misery?" sighed Neville, watching the Mary Sue crying on the ground, covered in blood and warts.

Luna cut a good-sized hole in Camriella's neck and stuffed it with salt.

They watched the Sue shrivel up and die.

1- labiae abrumpere: separate lips