Author's Note: My apologies for the long wait. I worked hard on this chapter, so if you don't like it...:makes a Crabbe/Goyle-esque face: P

"What's this?" said Ophelia to herself while she was checking the mail. It was a piece of parchment, much unlike the usual mail. Walking back to the dining room, she put the mail on the table, clutching her letter.

"What have you got there, Ophelia, dear?" inquired her sweet mother.

"Golly gee, I don't know, mother," answered Ophelia in a sugary voice, "It feels almost magical," she added.

"Open it! Open it!" cried Ophelia's small brother, who was five years old.

Ophelia slowly opened the envelope. After reading the letter, she gasped, "Oh my gosh! This…it says it's…from a school of witchcraft and…and wizardry?" she looked at her mother, "Did you know about this?"

Her mother was not as quick to believe it.

"Honey, how do you know it's true?"

"Mother, feel it! It is magic! I know it is!"

Her brother's eyes widened, as did her mother's.

"So what does it say?"

"It says…it says that they 'await my owl by no later than 31 July, and there's a list of books and things I'll need to get…but…a wand?"

"And you're supposed to get that in London? But how…?"

"But mum…they await my owl?"

At that moment, a flustered-looking grey owl swooped into the room. Ophelia stared at it. Then, she took a piece of paper and wrote "I'm coming" on it. She attached the paper to the owl's leg and it took off.

"Well, let's go to London, mum. I suppose we can ask," said Ophelia, who was not a procrastinator.

Her mother and brother took one last look at Ophelia's letter, and walked out the door, preceded by the witch.

Ophelia was a sweet girl. She had the gift of understanding everyone perfectly, helping everyone, having no enemies. She had mid-back length blond hair and soft honey-colored eyes. Her nose and mouth were beautifully formed, and her figure was gorgeous for one as young as she. She wore a long gold silk gown and white slippers. She was half-fairy. Ophelia's father had divorced her mother before the girl was even born. And she, er, had angel wings. They were golden.

They reached London in half an hour, and started walking around, looking at all the bright shops and laughing people.

"How can we find a wand here?" said Ophelia's brother, Hamlet.

"I don't—look at that door!" gasped Ophelia.

"What door?"

"There—between the book shop and the record shop!"

Her mother squinted, but saw only a wall.

"I see only a wall, honey," said she, fearing for her daughter's sanity.

"Then this must be it!" said Ophelia confidently.

She opened the door confidently and stepped in. It was a pub—the Leaky Cauldron, but Ophelia and her family didn't know that, of course.

"Why, 'ello, new witchy?" leered a buck-toothed wizard. Ophelia nodded politely. She walked up to the bartender and asked, "Where do I go to get a wand?" hoping she would not be laughed at. The bartender looked at her curiously and said, "Muggle-born, eh? Follow me," and he went out to a courtyard outside the pub. He tapped a few bricks and they opened up to form a circle in the wall, showing an alley swarming with witches and wizards.

"Thank you so much, sir!" squealed Ophelia, "And, may I ask what a 'muggle-born' is?"

"It's a witch or wizard born to muggles. Muggles are non-magic folk," he answered.

"Thanks! Bye-bye!" and she hopped into Diagon Alley. Her eyes widened. It was packed with magic. Wands, robes, joke shops, cauldrons…Ophelia glanced at her list and headed off towards Ollivander's wand shop.

"Oh, woe is me," Ollivander was saying to himself when she came in.

"What's wrong, sir?" asked Ophelia, stretching her wings.

"Oh no, not another one," he cried.

"Another what?"

"Another SUE! Get out of my shop!"

Ophelia's face turned red and her eyes narrowed, "I am an original, well-thought-out character. No one else has wings or a body like me, so shut up."

Then, her face went back to normal, and she patted his shoulder.

"There, there, I understand. You are afraid of Mary Sues. But they truly mean no harm! Please be calm—for I am Professor Dumbledore's daughter and—"

"You're WHAT? Oh god, I thought you were Snape's or You-Know-Who's daughter, but the Dumbledore's daughters exist as well—I'm losing track," he sighed resignedly.

Ophelia counted to ten, gave up trying to be a Helpful!Sue to the wand-maker, and said, "Just sell me a wand, please."

After a few tries, Ophelia got a yew wand, nine inches, unicorn hair.

"Oh my gosh! It's so beautiful!" she gasped.

"Yeah, now get out," snarled Ollivander.

So, after a few hours of helping upset people (no one but Ollivander rejected Ophelia—the Suethor seemed to have thought of warping everyone else's character after the fiasco at Ollivander's), the family drove back to their home, Ophelia holding a purring white cat.

"Platform nine and three-quarters, mother," said Ophelia in answer to her mother's inquiry as to where she should go to get to the school.

"Nine and three-quarters?" was all her mother said, but she decided that she could no longer be surprised in any way after this.

Well, September the first came, and they stood at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Ophelia was crying sweet tears, her face miraculously staying white and her eyes refraining from getting puffy.

"Oh, watch out, Colin, come on, let's go," said a lady. Her two sons had owls and she could see a wand sticking out of one of the boy's pockets.

Ophelia paused for a moment, then gingerly walked up to them.

"Hello, ma'am…may I please be informed of how to get to Platform nine and three-quarters?" she asked delicately.

"Oh, yes, young g—what are those?" asked Mrs. Creevey, seeing the Sue's wings.

"Oh, um, I'm not a Sue, ma'am, I'm just half-fairy," said Ophelia, smiling lovably.

Mrs. Creevey muttered something under her breath and grudgingly showed the girl how to get through the barrier.

Ophelia got on the train and started looking for a compartment. She saw Draco Malfoy moping around alone, and hastened to go help him.

"What's wrong, Draco?"

Malfoy glared at her, and turned away, saying, "I don't want help from a goody-goody like you."

Ophelia gazed into his eyes, which were filled with pain, and said, "She left you."

"Wtf? Who left me?" cried Draco, startled.

"Hermione. I'm so sorry, Draco. I can help," and she led him to an empty compartment.

They spent the whole five hours talking softly, and the last half-hour, they spent kissing over their tray of candy, every once in a while popping a Chocolate Frog or a Bertie Bott's Every-Flavored Bean into each other's mouths.

In the staff room at Hogwarts, Snape and Dumbledore were bickering.

"Why did you invite a Mary Sue to Hogwarts? Witch or not, I will not tolerate an even worse form of Hermione Granger in my class!"

"Severus, she will be eliminated, do not worry," said the Headmaster, shaking his head.

"You seem to be enjoying all this murder at Hogwarts," sneered Snape, who was enjoying it very much.

"Tell me the truth, now, Severus—is killing a Sue truly murder, or an aid to the society?"

Snape smirked and answered, "The latter, Albus. The latter."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the students were filing into Hogwarts, led by Professor McGonagall. Ophelia gasped as she saw the beautiful Great Hall. This is just like in Cinderella…

"Abond, Lea," started McGonagall after the Hat had finished its song. Lea was sorted into Hufflepuff. The table erupted in cheers, some people patting the little girl on the back.

"Slaub, Joshua" was sorted into Slytherin, and then…

"Shakespeare, Ophelia!"

As she walked up to the hat, everyone began giggling and whispering to each other.

"I wonder how they'll fix this one?" said Ernie.

"What?" asked Lea Abond curiously.

"Oh, yeah, well, Hogwarts often gets Sues and the students or the professors finish them off, you see. It's really funny to watch."

Lea nodded and turned back to watch Ophelia being sorted.

"Muggle-born Mary Sue, eh? Well, well, well…I see…so you like Mr. Malfoy? Yes…yes…hmm…well, that'll be…it doesn't really matter where I put you, does it? After all, you'll be k—I mean," said the Hat hastily, "SLYTHERIN!"

Ophelia clapped her hands and walked over to a beaming Draco. She fell into his arms and they kissed passionately.

Sorting finished, Dumbledore gave his short speech, and food appeared on the plates.

Ophelia ate delicately, every once in a while feeding Malfoy from her own fork and vice versa. When they were finished, all walked off to their respective common rooms.

"Honey…why do you have those beautiful wings? Can you really fly?" queried Draco Malfoy.

"Oh, my baby," sighed she, running her fingers through the enchanted boy's hair, "Why such silly questions? Of course I can—and I will gladly take you on a flight tonight. It is truly beautiful from up above. You can lie down on my back and I will soar through the heavens."

"Oh Ophelia, will I not be too heavy for thou?" asked Draco worriedly.

"Dost not worrieth, mine darling," whispered she, "I feel no weight when in the air."

And so they escaped out of the girl's dormitory window, Draco kissing the girl's neck from her back.

"Oh, Draco, do stop," giggled Ophelia.

So they spent a few hours in companionable silence. Unfortunately, from down below, an Elven Mary Sue was practicing her archery. An arrow whistled in the air, and hit Ophelia squarely in the right wing. The arrows were conveniently poisoned. The flying girl fell as though in slow motion. When she reached the ground, she was flattened with a loud splat, and Draco was left lying on a pile of feathers, flesh, blood, and silk.

"Ew! Why the hell am I covered in…blood?" grimaced Draco. He looked at the dead Sue and then at the Elven Sue, who was nearby.

"Oh, shit, another one," said Malfoy, and he ran off to the entrance. Unfortunately, he was spotted by Filch. Fifty points were taken off Slytherin for being out at four in the morning, and he sulked off to bed, Scourgifying his bloody clothes as he went.