III. Anywhere you go
Yawning widely, Raoul climbed into bed, snuggling in beside Christine. "Very well, my love, what do we do now?" he whispered in her ear.
"Sleep, I suggest", Christine answered, resting her head against his shoulder.
"Nothing else?" he asked, snickering.
"Raoul! We're not married yet!"
"You didn't say that yesterday", he protested, very much in the tone of a pouting child.
"Yes… but yesterday was special. And besides, I'm really tired."
"Alright, if you insist…" Raoul sighed regretfully and put an arm around her. "Mind if I cuddle you?"
"I'd appreciate it. But try not to stick your elbow into my face again, will you?"
Raoul looked down at her in surprise. There was not much he could see, except a mane of dark curls. "Did I ever?"
Christine giggled into his shoulder. "Why, last night. But of course, you didn't notice. Just like those times when you pulled the blanket away."
"I did?"
"Of course you did. You just didn't wake up while doing so."
"Oh. Sorry. I didn't realize that."
Christine put an arm around him in turn. "Never mind. Just expect me to wake you when you try to do any of it again."
"Right", Raoul muttered, stifling another yawn. "If I get snuggled before I fall asleep again, fine by me." Already on his back, he shifted his position slightly so that he lay more comfortable, and Christine automatically adjusted hers. "There's something I'd like to talk about, though, before we fall asleep."
Christine reached up to caress his cheek. "Not another idea of going abroad in just what we stand up in?"
Raoul sighed. "No." Sometimes he got the idea that he was not taken entirely seriously. "It's about the promise you gave me today. I'd like you to keep it in mind."
"Why, of course. If it means so much to you, I will. After all, I promised."
Raoul frowned into the darkness. "I think you still don't see the danger."
"To be honest, no."
"After all you've been through?" Why wouldn't she admit that she could still become the target of another assault from the same madman? If he could only make sure she was completely safe!
Christine was silent for a while, and he thought that she might have seen his point finally. Then, at last, she whispered: "There is something I didn't tell you."
Raoul's breath caught. Something she had kept from him? Why would she keep anything from him? How could she – No, she had every right to have secrets, he corrected himself, although his indignation did not quite go away immediately. Of course she didn't have to tell him everything. He just wished she would, so he could share everything with her, every part of her mind…
Very well, but did you tell her everything you might have told her, a nasty little voice somewhere inside his head asked. Like about your brief encounters with a few other women before her? What about that? Or that you only just don't take her away to the country mason because you're afraid of what your mother might say? He sighed. No, he could not ask more of her than he asked of himself. He was not being fair. Christine had every right to keep her secrets. He was not going to intrude.
"Are you angry?" she asked, raising her head to look at him, obviously misunderstanding his silence, and her tone was slightly tinged with worry.
"No, no", he hastened to assure her. "Of course not. I won't ever be angry at you."
She snuggled back into his embrace comfortably. "That's very sweet of you."
"What is it you wanted to tell me about?" Raoul asked, then hurried to add: "Not that I'm trying to press you, of course."
"It's…" She hesitated, and he felt her shiver slightly against his body. "It's about him. The Phantom, I mean. Something I've been reluctant to tell you."
"You still are", he stated.
"I'm so sorry, Raoul. Please don't think that I don't trust you."
"No, I would never think so", he protested, pulling her as close as he could. "It's I who should be sorry. Really. I shouldn't force you to tell me everything."
"But I want to", she whispered. "I want to very much. It's just… I don't truly understand it."
"I will try to do so", he promised, almost wincing at the stab of guilt he felt. She wanted to tell him everything, whereas he…
He heard her draw a deep breath. "There's a kind of bond between the Phantom and me." She said it very quickly, as if in a hurry to get it out, and after it was said, Raoul felt her relax a little in his arms. "I can feel him. Now I'm far away from him, the sensation is very weak, but I'm still aware of him. I can feel what he feels. And I think if I followed the sensation, it would lead me to him."
"You know", Raoul said, "I think that's the best thing I've heard during the last few hours." Imagining how irritated she must be now, he almost snickered mischievously, but then gave himself a hard mental kick. He wasn't going to play with her. Not with her. "He can't surprise you", he explained. "Because you'll know when he's trying to sneak up on you, won't you? Christine, that's brilliant!"
"Yes, I certainly would", she replied, making his mind flood with relief, "but it's the connection I worry about. I don't understand. It frightens me, but at the same time… You know, I've actually known him for years without ever seeing him. I told you about my Angel, but you didn't believe me at first. He did not only speak to me when I was alone, he was in my dreams, too. And I could feel his presence, sometimes more, sometimes less. But it's never been as steady as it is now. Ever since…" She hesitated and cleared her throat. "Ever since I kissed him", she finished in a rush.
Raoul pondered this all in wonder. He had never heard anything alike, and he had to admit to himself that he understood it all no more than she claimed she did. "I'm sorry", he said at last.
"For what?"
"For not believing you in the first place."
"That's alright. Meg didn't believe me at first, too."
"And you think you can tell what he's up to?" Raoul asked hopefully.
"I'm not sure. It's just feelings I sense, not what he's thinking."
"Let's hope this is enough." Raoul did not quite understand what she was telling him there, but he certainly understood about the uses of it. "So what do you feel at the moment?" he asked curiously.
Christine shuddered slightly. "Pain. So much pain. And despair. There is a bit of hope, I think, but only a very tiny speck, if any. It makes me sad."
"Why, that's jolly good", Raoul said. "If he were hopeful, he might have found some way to put his hands on you, and we don't want that. That calms me very much. And it should be the same for you. This is good news, really." Again he suppressed a yawn. "But still… I'd still like you to stick to your promise. I want to be with you always. Wherever you are. I don't want to leave you out of my eyeshot for long. Not ever. I need to have you with me."
"That's sweet, Raoul."
"I really mean it. I'll be with you wherever you are. But now –" This time he was unable to fight back the yawn. "Now I think I'm going to sleep. Good night, my love. Sweet dreams."
"Good night, Raoul." Was he only imagining things, or was her tone slightly… subdued? But he was too tired to think clearly now. Maybe tomorrow. Yes… Tomorrow… He fell asleep.
