Disclaimers: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me.
Spoilers for the end of the series.
Dreams
I have dreams, sometimes.
Not just any old dreams.
Dreams about the time I can't remember.
Sometimes I can see myself, just as I am today. Other times, I can't. I can't help but wonder if any of them are real memories, but it's not like I can ask anyone. The only person who would know is niisan, and I don't even know if I'll ever see him again. If I passed him on the street, would I know it was him? Sometimes I doubt it. Other times, I can almost see him. If I could just reach out my arms a little farther, I feel as if I could embrace him again. It only lasts for a second, and then brother's face is a blur again.
But not in my dreams.
At first, I wouldn't let anyone convince me that my dreams were just that—dreams. At first, I would grab desperately at whatever I could remember. I would wake up feeling as if I had accomplished something wonderful. As if I had somehow managed to beat fate. Lately, however, my dreams have been getting weird. I wake up in the morning with my heart racing and cheeks burning. What I can remember makes me fidgety.
Niisan kisses me. Touches me. Speaks to me softly and holds me in his arms. I can clearly remember the feel of his touch. The way he kisses me…
I can remember all of it.
'Don't leave me, Al. You're all I have… Please, forgive me.'
I want to know the truth. Did this all really happen? Winry told me that niisan and I had grown close… But had we grown this close? Did niisan really feel that way about me? Does he still feel that way about me? Did I even feel that way about him? If these memories are real, when I see niisan again… Will he expect me to love him the same way?
I can't.
If we do meet again, what am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to say?
…I could learn to hate you, Fullmetal Alchemist.
