"The Standard, I Don't Own It, Why Do You Ask" Disclaimer- I don't own Queer as Folk...I wish I did...but I don't. I would buy it, but I have no money, so I have to settle for mind sex with Hal and Gale... .
Summary- Justin contemplates leaving Brian until something good happens.
Noriko-chan: Well boys and girls, I have some really good news.
Justin: You're finally going to write something good?
Noriko-chan: .:kicks justin:. No, you dork. I'm going to make After Hours into a full-fledged fanfiction.
Justin: You mean it wasn't before?
Brian: Of course it wasn't, I'm not done with you yet.
Justin: Why? What were you going to do with me?
Brian: Funny you should ask...:takes justin by the hand and stalks off with him:.
Noriko-chan: Well...I won't elaborate on what they're up to, I'll leave you to read it for yourself!
(This story is dedicated to my mom. May she never come to know my love, Queer as Folk. It would break her heart... . )
Chapter Two
"Wake up." My brain screamed at me. I knew it couldn't be seven already, and I usually didn't get up for work until nine, so why was I getting up this early? I opened one bleary eye and struggled to see the clock. All I saw when I tried to gaze at the bright red numbers was a pair of brown eyes.
"Good morning." Brian said cheerfully. He had the most uncharacteristic smile plastered on his face, and he looked as though he wanted to kiss me, which wasn't that unusual.
"Good morning." I replied, a little unsure of what was going on. "Did we win the lottery last night?"
"No." His smile instantly faded and his look subsided. "You got hammered last night. You and Emmett were celebrating something."
Comprehension instantly dawned on me upon mention of celebrating. Emmett had practically poured drink after drink down my throat after I had decided against leaving Brian. He had claimed we were celebrating because I had finally forced Brian to make a commitment and admit that he loved me, but I knew it was because he didn't want us to be apart. The celebrating had been fun, but now I was feeling the full effects of it. My head felt as though it was going to split open, a pain I had felt so many times before, and my stomach was twisting itself in knots.
"I'm sorry." I apologized inadvertently.
"For what?" Brain asked. He pulled himself out of bed and left the room.
"For whatever I did last night. It must have been terrible." I, too, got up from bed and followed after him.
"Oh, it was. You have no idea how chatty you get when you're completely hammered." Brian said curtly as he poured a cup of coffee.
"What exactly did I say last night?" I asked in complete horror. Daphne had told me in the past that I had a tendency to run my mouth when drunk.
"Something along the lines of: 'You know, I was planning on leaving. Tonight. I was going to tell you it was over, right here at Babylon.' And then something like: 'I wasn't getting what I needed. You never told me that you love me, and I was beginning to doubt that you ever would, or that you even loved me at all.' " Brian turned around to face me, and his expression was set in stone. A look of utter sadness marred his usually joyful countenance.
"Oh, God." I covered my mouth. Bile was rising in my throat. About to throw up from embarassment and drunkeness, I ran into the bathroom and flung myself at the toilet.
"I can't believe you had so little faith in me, Sunshine. And what's more, I can't believe that you'd leave because I never told you that I love you. That's bullshit. I've said it plenty of times, you just weren't awake." Brian spat. He was standing in the doorway of our bathroom, his hate for me shown plainly in his eyes.
"I'm sorry." I whispered before I began retching again.
"You disgust me." He said. "I want you to leave. I want you to get out and never come back. Never. I never want to see your face again."
He had no idea how much that hurt me, how sick it made me. I never meant to tell him any of it, but it happened. After wiping my mouth, I dutifully got up from the floor and began packing my bags. I left that evening without so much as a goodbye and I didn't cry until I got to Michael's.
"What's going on Justin?" Michael asked me.
"B-Brian kicked me out. He said that I d-disgust him." I stammered.
"Why? What the hell happened?" Michael pulled me across the threshold and into his arms.
"I acidentally t-told him what I was g-going to d-do." I sobbed into his shoulder.
"Did you apologize?" Michael asked.
"Y-yes." I took a deep breath and prepared to tell him exactly what happened earlier that day. "He told me that I disgusted him, that he wanted me out. I tried to apologize to him, and it must have seemed so pathetic, because I was sitting on the floor with my head in the toilet. He didn't even cry. So I left. I packed my shit, and I left."
"And here you are." Michael held me tightly.
"Here I am." I whispered.
The next day, I moved all of my stuff into Ted and Emmett's place. They were more than glad to take me in, and told me that I could stay as long as I needed to. I assured them that I would be securing an apartment before long, and I wouldn't burden them longer than necessary. I felt like an absolute piece of shit as I unpacked my clothes. I had good reason to. I had confessed, unwittingly I might add, my evil plan to the man I love, to the man who told me that he loved me back. But now it seemed that he no longer loved me. Was it possible to love someone one moment, and hate them the next? If it happened to me, I guess it must.
"Still feeling shitty?" Emmett asked as he sat on the bed. It was amazing how he could turn the most obscene of comments into a sweet question.
"Of course I am." I replied, piling my t-shirts into a drawer. "He hates me. How can he hate me after he loved me for five years?"
"He doesn't hate you. He just...dislikes you immensly." Emmett told me. "He's shocked and upset that you would be driven to do such a thing, and Brian, the great selfish asshole that he is, can't handle that sort of thing."
"You think?" I turned to him, my eyes hopeful. If Brian didn't hate me, then there might be a chance of reforging our relationship.
"I know." Emmett said. "Remember, Sunshine, I've known him longer than you. Though we may not be the best of friends, I can still worm my way into his brain."
I laughed. The though of Emmett "worming" his way into Brian's brain was a little funny. To me, Brian was unreadable at times, and at others he was completely opaque. But Emmett could see through his facades at all times. Emmett, his friend, knew him better than I, his lover. How the hell did that happen?
"Has anyone seen him today?" I asked quietly.
"Ted's at work with him, of course. I'm sure he'll give you a play-by-play recap of the whole day." Emmett replied. "I don't want your heart smashed into a thousand pieces, sweetie, so take your time on this. I know you love him, and that he loves you too, but just be careful with your heart. Please."
"I will. I'll take as long as is necessary." I said, then quickly added, "And that'll be a long time."
"Thanks." He said. "Your friend Daphne called. She begged me to tell you to call her back, so please, for my sake, call her back."
I grinned, and finished putting away my clothes as he left. So Brian dislikes me. I'll get over it. Maybe I won't even try to win him back. If it was that easy for him to throw me away, I'll make it just as easy to find a new boyfriend. And I'll watch Brian writhe in discomfort and pain while I'm in heavenly bliss.
A/N: If this seems short, I'm sorry. I know it took me ages to update, and I'm sorry for that too, but it seems that my creative juices have only just started flowing again. So look for chapter three sometime soon. It'll be saucy and sweet, and I know you'll like it. But be warned, Brian and Justin might take a little persuading. I don't want to rush them back into their relationship too soon. I want them both to relish their freedom, and each other. And if that means torturing Brian, so be it. I love the man, as does everyone else, so the teasing and torturing will be worth it. I promise. Expect some really good and lonely scenes with Brian. Anyways, enough rambling...Review! My doctor says they're healthy! .
