Chapter Six

Grief


Later that day:

"Mmm" Max said walking into the apartment smelling the air "A girl could get used to this, what's for dinner?"

"Okay seriously started to feel used for my culinary abilities." Logan said walking out.

She smiled walking towards him, "Will dinner keep?" she asked lifting herself up to reach his mouth.

He wrapped his arms around her, "I don't care if it doesn't" and pulled her closer.

-o-o-o-

Max sat on the counter eating slightly dried out leftovers. It was four am and like normal Logan was asleep while she paced the apartment looking for something to do and his fridge always seemed to have the biggest draw around this time. She normally stayed in his arms for part of the night, just resting, but not sleeping, she liked hearing that slight snore that came and went, which she was now be able to predict rather well.

Tonight she was restless though…Maybe it had been talking to Cindy, maybe it had been that invitation yesterday…Or maybe it was the reason she wanted to forget, a week ago around this time she had been holding her sister dead in her arms and the person who did that, the person who not only took Tinga away from her, but took Tinga away from Case and Charlie forever was still out there waiting to hurt her and her siblings.

She put down the bowl and hopped off the counter and padded over to Logan's desk where the invitation lay. Logan Cale and Max Guevara, she traced the ink with her finger and thought about what Cindy said about their wedding being the next wedding.

She suddenly dropped the envelope down, she couldn't deal with this. She turned and was facing Logan who was standing before her. "What's wrong?" he asked taking one look at her face.

"Why are you up and dressed?" she asked looking at him standing in gray sweats and a tee shirt.

"I heard you moving around and I wasn't really tired, I figured we could go out, shoot pool or something."

"Oh" Max looked down at herself, dressed just in Logan's robe, her normal wear for this time of the day. "I'll go change."

He extended an arm, effectively stopping her as she tried to walk past, "Max, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said with a shake of her head

He looked at the envelope on the table, "Is it the…" but then it hit him, "Tinga"

Max nodded "I promised Case I'd bring his Mommy home and what did I do…" She walked away, into the living room stopping as she reached the windows and shook her head, "I let them kill her Logan…I let them kill my sister and get away with it."

He wrapped his arms around her, she could see their reflections together in the window and it made her heartache worse, "They're going to be punished Max, I don't want you to doubt that for a second, but we've got to be smart about this. It isn't worth getting you killed or Zack or anyone else to get back at them, she wouldn't want that. She'd want you to be happy Max; she'd want you to have what she had."

"Why so there's someone there to grieve for me? Like Charlie's doing for Tinga?"

His arms tightened, "Don't say things like that"

"Why not?" She turned, " Logan, you don't understand that's the best case scenario, what happens if something happens to you because of me?"

He pushed away the thoughts of losing her like Charlie had lost her sister and focused on her, "Okay Max what happened around a year ago this time?"

Max just looked at him

"You wheeled me out my hospital room as Bruno fire bombed it. And who jumped off a hotel roof?"

"Yea well the hotel you wouldn't have been involved in if it wasn't for me."

"Remember that Hover drone shooting at me? Remember getting yourself arrested and almost sent back to Manticore."

Max cut him off, "Okay stop trying to make your point, it's getting annoying and kinda scary, you don't have good luck."

"No," he put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up to face him, "I have the best luck because you broke into this apartment out of all of the other ones in this building. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

She shook her head, "I'm scared for when this ends."

"Who said this is going to end?"

"Everything good always ends."

"No it doesn't. This," he gestured between them, "You and me, Max I've been waiting my whole life for this. I knew it the moment I saw you. I knew everything I had thought about love, hell even life was a lie. The moment I saw this face," he raised a hand to touch her cheek as he had so long ago as he was trying to inspire her to help him "Max, I knew this face was a sign my life was changing completely."

"Yea, you got shot and ended up in a chair."

"No Max, I fell in love, I found something that mattered more than ending corruption. I found out the physical means nothing. My legs are gone Max and I've never felt more alive."

"Your legs don't count as gone if you're still walking," she said hitting him.

He laughed.

"And you're an asshole without them. So shut up on that point."

"Hey I'm a guy, it's not my fault."

"Thank you," she said leaning into his chest.

"For what?"

"For making me feel better, for always being here. I don't know what I'd do without you Logan."

"You're never going to have to find out."

-o-o-o-

Everything was in fragments. Logan was calling her. She couldn't see him though. She could hear him screaming her name. The crow came and its cry deafened her so she couldn't hear Logan anymore. Tinga was there holding Case, "Hold really tight to mommy now." The crow cried again. Logan's perfect face ashen and still, the doctor's voice, "I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do." Tinga dead behind the glass…Charlie's voice, "I love you."

Logan was calling her name again. His voice and the crow's on top of each other. She screamed for him…Running…Screaming. All there was the crow and his voice was gone. Just hers left alone crying for him.

"Hey," he said shaking her, "Max come on wake up."

" Logan," she cried as she opened her eyes to see his.

"You were having a nightmare." He said wrapping his arms around her "You kept calling my name"

"I couldn't find you." She hugged him back

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere Max."

She stopped hugging him and raised her hands to the back of his head and kissed him…She needed to feel him, she had to drive away the dream, she couldn't bear to lose him, she couldn't survive it.