Disclaimer: I did not make, and do not own, the song "Food Glorious Food". It is from "Oliver". I didn't create "Wild Thing" either, surprise, surprise. JK Rowling owns all of the characters, settings etc.
"I cannot find the cure anywhere!" Hermione sighed. "I don't even know what the potion was!"
Harry banged his head against the table several times. And then several times more.
"Please, Harry, you're getting dandruff on the food," Hermione gushed.
"F-food?" Harry stammered.
"Oh gosh." Hermione braced herself.
"FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD!" Harry began to scream. "HOT SAUSAGE AND MUSTARD!"
Every student and teacher in the hall turned to face Harry. Snape went bright red and jabbed his food with his fork.
Ron and Hermione each grabbed one of Harry's arms and swiftly led him out of the Great Hall.
Shock horror.
Standing outside the Great Hall was a crowd of Death Eaters, and at their centre was Lord Voldemort himself.
Hermione reacted first. Bolting back through the doors to the Great Hall, she screamed at the teachers, "VOLDEMORT IS HERE!"
Everyone went silent and hastily scrambled up from their chairs, excited. They had been waiting for this moment for a long, long time; the moment that Harry and Voldemort would duel.
"LOL!" Snape bellowed, unable to control himself. "A FIGHT!" The effects of the alcohol had not yet worn off. He ran to join the students who were crowding outside the Hall.
"This is the moment you have all been waiting for!" Voldemort bellowed. "The moment Potter and I determine who is the greater wizard!"
Voldemort began to pace towards Harry. Students moved out of his way.
Harry raised his wand and glared at Voldemort. Smoke billowed from his nostrils.
"Wow," Ron whispered to Hermione, though loud enough for Harry to hear. "He looks positively wild."
Harry suddenly stared up at Ron. "W-wild?" he murmured.
"Oh no."
"WILD THING!" Harry began to scream at the top of his voice. "YOU MAKE MY HEART SING!"
Voldemort stopped walking, flabbergasted.
As Harry continued the song, eventually, a small voice piped up. "I do love this song," it announced. It was Lucius Malfoy.
"YOU MAKE EVERYTHING GROOOVY!" he screamed with Harry. His startlingly high pitched voice caused the stain-glass window above the Great Hall to smash.
"STOP!" Voldemort screamed. "END THIS!"
As Voldemort screeched, a small shard of glass landed in his eye.
"The pain!" he shrieked. "The pain!"
With this, Lord Voldemort died.
"LOL!" Snape screamed. "LOL!"
"What's 'lol', Severus?" Professor McGonagall enquired. "Is it a type of plant?"
"LOL! A ty pe of plant!" Snape shook with laughter.
"Well what is it then?" McGonagall persisted.
"Oh. I don't know," Snape confessed. "But the Dark Lord has been vanquished by the power of song!"
"LOL!" Hermione screamed. "Lol!"
Snape turned and gave her a death stare. "Stupid mudblood," he sighed under his breath.
End.
