Chapter Four
Padme sat at her throne and sighed with exasperation. Her mother was coming to visit her today and as much as she loved her mother, Jobal Naberrie could also be the most intrusive, annoying person in the world. Jobal had announced that she was visiting several weeks ago, and Padme thanked the stars that Anakin had already left. The last thing she needed right now was for her mother to find out about her new relationship with a Jedi.
She sighed again as Anakin once again entered her thoughts. It seemed as if she thought of him with every passing moment, wondering where he was, if he was safe, if he was thinking about her. Anakin had been gone for two weeks already but it seemed like two months had passed. It had without a doubt been the longest two weeks of her entire, even though she had already received three letters from Anakin. She must have read each of them a hundred times already, but she couldn't help it. They made her feel closer to him, like he was really there, whispering into her ear.
She felt a pang of guilt when she realized that she had only had time to write to him once, but then again, it was unlikely that he was even at the Temple yet. Anakin had told her that it would be easier for her to just send her letters to him to the Temple, that way they would never be lost and he could get them when he returned from a mission.
Much to her dismay, Padme's thoughts were interrupted by none other than her mother.
"Padme! It's so good to see you again!" She immediately pulled her daughter to a tight hug, slightly cutting off Padme's air supply.
"Mother...it's good to see you as well. It's a shame Father couldn't come too."
"Yes, but you know how he hates to travel. And I promised to fill him in on everything as soon as I return home."
"And when will that be, Mother?"
"Oh darling, you sound like you want me to leave already? Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine, I've just been very busy lately."
"So I've heard."
Padme eyed her mother curiously. She knew her mother was talking about more than just politics. She couldn't possibly know…
"Padme, shall we go to lunch?"
Padme nodded carefully and motioned for her mother to follow her. She knew that whatever her mother had to say to her, she would say it when she felt like it.
Lunch passed by much too slowly for Padme's taste. Her mother told story after story and relayed gossip and gossip to her, driving her near the brink of insanity. She wished her mother would just come out and tell her what was really bothering her. At least it would put Padme out of her misery, or so she thought.
Jobal was going on and on about one of Padme's cousins when Padme boldly interrupted her
"Mother, would you just tell me what's on your mind?"
Jobal quickly closed her mouth, slightly shocked at her daughter's outburst. "Well, dear, if you must know, there has been some talk."
Padme's eyes narrowed. "What kind of talk? Who did you hear this from?"
"I overheard some of your handmaidens earlier today before I met up with you."
Padme looked at her mother with raised eyebrows, prompting Jobal to continue.
"They were talking like you had a…"
"A what, mother?"
"A lover."
Padme rolled her eyes and cast her mother a wary glance. "I don't have a lover."
"Then it's a beau?"
Padme hesitated for just a moment, but that was all Jobal needed. She quickly rose from the table and led Padme back to one of her rooms. They sat on the bed and Padme desperately tried to fight off images of her and Anakin on the very same bed.
"Padme, your handmaidens, they also mentioned that he was a Jedi."
Padme's mouth opened but she shut it just as quickly as she had opened it. She honestly didn't know what to say to her mother now. She had been caught, almost in the act even, and there was no amount of explaining she could do to satisfy her mother.
"Padme, you can't get involved with a Jedi…"
At the sound of her mother's voice, Padme shot up from her seat. "No, mother, I don't want to hear another word. I am nineteen years old and I can make my own decisions. I love him, I know you don't believe it, but I do. We're willing to keep our relationship a secret, even though we won't get to see each other that much. I'm an adult and so is he. Why can't you just be happy for me? I've finally found someone who I love that loves me back…"
"How do you know that, Padme? You're young and you're beautiful. You could have anyone you want, and yet you choose someone who can't even be with you. If you want to know my opinion, you're destroying both of your futures by carrying on with this relationship."
"Mother, you don't know what you're talking about…"
"I'm older, I'm wiser, Padme. I know what I'm talking about. I know all about raging hormones and I know that you think what you're feeling is love, but believe me, it will pass. Soon, you'll grow tired of always waiting on him, wondering if he's still alive. It's better to break it off before something happens."
"What do you mean?"
"The Jedi go on very dangerous missions. I thought that you of all people would know that. They're constantly at risk, in danger, many of them don't come back."
Padme sat back down next to her mother, her brow furrowed with worry.
"Padme, I know this isn't what you want to hear right now. But think of this too, if you were discovered, it would ruin both your lives. He would be expelled from the Order and your reputation was a respectable politician would be destroyed. You both would have no futures as a result of just not thinking clearly."
"Mother…I don't know what to say…"
"Say you'll think about what I said."
Padme nodded and Jobal kissed her lightly on the forehead before leaving her daughter to her thoughts.
Padme laid back down on the bed and closed her eyes in thought. Almost everything her mother had said was true…she couldn't let Anakin throw everything away just because they had spent three incredible days together. They hardly knew each other, they thought they were in love, but what did they know anyways? What if something happened to Anakin and he died wondering why she hadn't written to him? Wouldn't it just be easier on both of them if he didn't have to think about that, if she wasn't a distraction to him? Wouldn't it be easier for her if she didn't have to worry about his safety and wonder if maybe one day she would receive notice that he had fallen during some mission?
Sighing desperately, she knew what she had to do. She dragged herself to her desk and took out her pen, not even realizing that her fingers played with her jappor snippet.
Anakin wiped himself off with the towel Obi-Wan had handed to him and sighed with exasperation. It had only been a couple of weeks since he had last heard from her, but that wasn't enough for him. He needed to hear from her, see her hand writing. It made him feel like she was sitting right next to him and he could see her at her desk, writing furiously in his mind.
"Anakin?"
Anakin snapped out of his thoughts and turned his attention to his Master, who was now looking at him very curiously.
"Good work today. You're improving daily. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if you took the trials within the next few months."
Anakin had to grin at that, but then that quickly faded from his face as he realized that that would mean he wouldn't be able to see Padme for the next few months because of the preparation he would need to do for his trials. He sighed absentmindedly and continued to wipe himself off with the towel, all the while thinking of Padme. Was she thinking about him? When would she write to him again?
"Anakin…you really need to work on your mind shields."
Anakin looked up and met the twinkling eyes of his Master. "I don't know what you're talking about Master."
Obi-Wan laughed heartily and slapped Anakin on the back. "Oh come on, Anakin, I may be older than you, but I'm not stupid. You're wondering why she hasn't written you lately, huh?"
Anakin turned a deep shade of red, causing Obi-Wan to laugh even harder. "Master, I really think that…"
"Don't worry, Anakin. I've known that you and the Queen were pen-pals for some time now. I'm sure she's just been very busy. She lives a very hectic life, you know."
Anakin nodded and tried to cover up his blushing with his hand. "It's just that, she likes to hear from me. You know, how I'm doing."
"And you don't mind it either."
"No, it's nice to have a friend."
Obi-Wan nodded and even though he wanted to say more, especially about the Jedi Code, he decided that he would just sound like a broken record.
They both looked up as another Jedi walked into the training room. "Padawan Skywalker, you have a letter."
Anakin grinned brightly as he took the letter in his hands. He didn't even have to look at it to know who it was from. He waved goodbye to Obi-Wan as he took his leave, then quickly tore open her letter with shaking hands.
