Chapter Five

Dear Anakin,

I don't know exactly how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. I think we've made a horrible mistake. I can't live a lie, Anakin. And neither can you. If anyone were to find out about us, the results would be disastrous for the both of us and I don't think I can live this way, pining for you in secret, praying that I'll receive another letter from you. I'll never stop caring for you. This just wasn't meant to be and I don't know what else there is to say. I pray that you are kept safe through out your life and I will always pray for you.

Sincerely,

Padme

Anakin's hands trembled as he re-read her letter over and over again. No…this was a joke, some kind of prank…it wasn't real…she wouldn't be that heartless. His eyes desperately ran across the page again and he realized that this was real. She had ended their relationship and it had only been several weeks.

Out of frustration and anger, he ripped the letter up and threw it in the trash. How could she say that they had made a mistake? They hadn't know each other that long but she hadn't even given them a chance. She just gave up and he had never known her to quit anything before. This wasn't like her. She was the one who had made the mistake.

He began to shake his head in anger, his mind quickly absorbing the severity of his overwhelming situation. He had lost the love of his life and he hadn't even been given a say in the decision. Who did she think she was? She may rule Naboo, but she didn't govern over him. Even though he knew that a part of him would always love her, he knew that he was better off without her. He didn't deserve to be treated this way. All he had ever done was love her and this was what he received in return.

He vowed to himself right then that he would move on and try to forget about those three days on Naboo. In his mind, it never happened. He didn't need to remind himself of her betrayal, especially when his life was on the line almost daily. Maybe in some twisted way, she was right. He didn't need the distraction, given the fact that she now apparently wanted nothing to do with him. If she wasn't thinking about him, then he didn't need to think about her either.

He nodded to himself with satisfaction. Yes, he would make this work. He could live without her. At least he could try…


Two years later, Anakin found himself thinking about her yet again. He almost always caught himself thinking of her, even though he had promised himself that he wouldn't. Despite everything that had happened between them, he couldn't erase her from his memory. He couldn't erase the memory of her touch, her smell, her taste. Suddenly, everything came rushing back to him again. All the stolen moments and stolen kisses during those short three days were tormenting him during the day and in his dreams. Sometimes, it was more than he could handle and he had to rush out of bed to meditate. He had to curse himself for putting himself through this. She didn't want him and quite frankly, he wasn't so sure that he would take her back even she begged him. Because in spite of the fact that he still loved her, she had deeply hurt him and that was something he was unable to forgive.

And yet somehow, he found himself walking to her apartment on Coruscant, with Senator Bail Organa right next to him. Anakin had to stop himself from cringing at the very thought of the Senator, who simply unnerved him. He supposed it all went back to those days on Naboo, especially given the fact that Organa was now engaged to Padme.

Before he knew it, they were at her door and were ushered in moments later. His eyes immediately began searching the room for her, anxious to see her after two years. He saw Sabe enter another room and he strained to hear the faint voices coming from that room.

Then without warning, she appeared and was back in his life.

She glided to the sofa and sat next to Bail as Anakin took the armchair across from them. Bail gestured to Anakin, in an attempt to try to the break the ice between the two, who hadn't even made eye contact since the Jedi had arrived. Bail didn't quite know what to make of it, but he knew that something was going on between them, even if he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Surely you remember Jedi Anakin Skywalker?"

Padme looked up from the spot she had been staring at and unintentionally looked straight into the eyes of the love of her life. She smiled fainted and nodded to Anakin, who only stared back at her.

"Yes, of course. But where is Master Kenobi? I thought he was going to serve as my bodyguard as well."

Bail looked at Anakin to provide her with an answer, but when he didn't after several moments, Bail could only frown and answer for him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but the Jedi Council decided to allow Jedi Skywalker to carry out this assignment on his own since he was recently Knighted."

Padme's eyes immediately flicked to Anakin's expressionless face, a hint of pride glowing in her eyes. Anakin noticed this almost instantly, but ignored it.

"That's wonderful. Congratulations."

Anakin nodded, the first sign of life he had shown Padme since they had been reunited.

Bail looked from Anakin to Padme and shook his head slightly. He looked at his watch and realized it was time for him to go. He stood up and looked at Padme expectantly, but because she was staring into the ground, he sighed with exasperation.

"Well, darling, I'm going to be late for my meeting."

Padme nodded and stood up to walk him out. When they had reached the door, Bail rubbed her shoulders in an awkward attempt at comfort.

"Don't worry about him. He's just quiet. I'm sure he'll speak in time." He laughed lightly, trying to lighten the mood but he knew he was failing miserably.

Padme nodded again, unable to find her voice from her present predicament. Bail couldn't think of anything else to say or do so he merely pecked her on the cheek and closed the door behind him. For once, Padme found herself not wanting to him to leave. Reluctantly, she turned back to find Anakin staring at her intensely. She nervously ran her hands down her sides, and walked to where Anakin was sitting.

"I think I'll retire now."

Anakin simply nodded to her, continuing to glare or stare at her, she wasn't sure which one.

"So, I take it you're going to stay out here for awhile."

Again, another nod.

"Alright, well as soon as you wish to retire, you may sleep in the guest bedroom. It's right next to the refresher."

He only nodded at her again and Padme quickly fled the room, walking as fast as her feet would carry her.