BIZZARE WARS

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…

the rebel alliance was having a terrible day.

the Empire was striking back, you see,

and the rebels knew they'd be history.

Luke was patrolling the borders of Hoth the ice planet

when a Wampa ice creature knocked him out like cold granite

his friend Han Solo came looking for him

and when he found Luke the outlook was dim

they went back to the Alliance base

and when they were through Luke was in awful disgrace

if the alliance thought they were in trouble so far

something then happened even more bizarre

a star destroyer dropped out of hyperspace

and the shock of it struck the rebels like a mace

but the Sith lord Darth Vader was not very happy

he wanted the base invaded but not quite as snappy

so he disposed of Admiral Ozzel right through a screen

and all of his stormtroopers thought he was mean

as AT walkers invaded Echo base

the rebels were running all over the place

Somehow they managed to evacuate

and Han's ship the Falcon was late

but Solo made the Falcon go

and left lord Vader enveloped in a flurry of snow

the Sith lord shook his helmet with fury

If he wanted the Millennium Falcon now he would have to hurry

Just as quick as Vader counted to ten

Han was chased by the dark lord's men

As Chewbacca blew up TIE fighters

Han shook his head and said, "Those poor blighters."

One of the Falcon's engines conked out

And Han Solo gave an irate shout

With many escapades and hours later

The rebels were as angry as the dark lord Darth Vader

Landing on the docking bay at Cloud City

Leia said, "Wow, that sure looks pretty!"

"So good to see you," Lando said with a grin

and let out a yell as he stepped on Leia's hairpin

as they entered the dining hall Leia began to fuss

until she heard that dreaded voice say, "We would be honored if you'd join us."

at the head of the table that dark Sith lord sat

and yanking away Solo's gun he mashed it flat

"He's all yours, bounty hunter," Vader said

and Boba Fett nodded his helmeted head

Han Solo took his last breath

and hopped into the freezing chamber fearing certain death

when he came out he was as black as night

frozen almost unrecognizable in the iron carbonite

the enraged Chewbacca gave a mighty roar

and sent stormtroopers flying all over the floor

seeing he was left alone

Luke tried to find the emperor's throne

He studied and studied his Cloud City road map

but got so bored he decided to take a nap

then Darth Vader thundered into the room

and the two lightsabres met with an electrical "Boom"

Jump. Dodge. Swing. Parry.

This is getting pretty scary...

Then Darth Vader, looking grand

Promptly chopped off Skywalker's hand

"I am your father," Vader said

and raised his saber to whop off Luke's head

But at the last instant Luke dropped

And all of Vader's plans were stopped

Through the reactor and hanging on a weather vane

Luke thought he had it bad-then it started to rain

Then the Falcon came swooping by

And rescued Luke Skywalker in the blink of an eye

And while the Rebels were exceedingly mad

Darth Vader was feeling mighty glad! (Or was he, ha ha...)