BIZZARE WARS
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…
the rebel alliance was having a terrible day.
the Empire was striking back, you see,
and the rebels knew they'd be history.
Luke was patrolling the borders of Hoth the ice planet
when a Wampa ice creature knocked him out like cold granite
his friend Han Solo came looking for him
and when he found Luke the outlook was dim
they went back to the Alliance base
and when they were through Luke was in awful disgrace
if the alliance thought they were in trouble so far
something then happened even more bizarre
a star destroyer dropped out of hyperspace
and the shock of it struck the rebels like a mace
but the Sith lord Darth Vader was not very happy
he wanted the base invaded but not quite as snappy
so he disposed of Admiral Ozzel right through a screen
and all of his stormtroopers thought he was mean
as AT walkers invaded Echo base
the rebels were running all over the place
Somehow they managed to evacuate
and Han's ship the Falcon was late
but Solo made the Falcon go
and left lord Vader enveloped in a flurry of snow
the Sith lord shook his helmet with fury
If he wanted the Millennium Falcon now he would have to hurry
Just as quick as Vader counted to ten
Han was chased by the dark lord's men
As Chewbacca blew up TIE fighters
Han shook his head and said, "Those poor blighters."
One of the Falcon's engines conked out
And Han Solo gave an irate shout
With many escapades and hours later
The rebels were as angry as the dark lord Darth Vader
Landing on the docking bay at Cloud City
Leia said, "Wow, that sure looks pretty!"
"So good to see you," Lando said with a grin
and let out a yell as he stepped on Leia's hairpin
as they entered the dining hall Leia began to fuss
until she heard that dreaded voice say, "We would be honored if you'd join us."
at the head of the table that dark Sith lord sat
and yanking away Solo's gun he mashed it flat
"He's all yours, bounty hunter," Vader said
and Boba Fett nodded his helmeted head
Han Solo took his last breath
and hopped into the freezing chamber fearing certain death
when he came out he was as black as night
frozen almost unrecognizable in the iron carbonite
the enraged Chewbacca gave a mighty roar
and sent stormtroopers flying all over the floor
seeing he was left alone
Luke tried to find the emperor's throne
He studied and studied his Cloud City road map
but got so bored he decided to take a nap
then Darth Vader thundered into the room
and the two lightsabres met with an electrical "Boom"
Jump. Dodge. Swing. Parry.
This is getting pretty scary...
Then Darth Vader, looking grand
Promptly chopped off Skywalker's hand
"I am your father," Vader said
and raised his saber to whop off Luke's head
But at the last instant Luke dropped
And all of Vader's plans were stopped
Through the reactor and hanging on a weather vane
Luke thought he had it bad-then it started to rain
Then the Falcon came swooping by
And rescued Luke Skywalker in the blink of an eye
And while the Rebels were exceedingly mad
Darth Vader was feeling mighty glad! (Or was he, ha ha...)
