Chapter Thirteen

Padme's eyes fluttered open and she sighed contentedly. She stretched her arms out the side and her eyes widened slightly when she brushed up against another body. She turned her head only to find Anakin's sleeping form next to her. Suddenly, the events of the night before came rushing back to her and she quickly got out of bed and put on her robe.

She strode out to the veranda, leaned against the railing and sighed deeply. What had they done? Better yet, what had she done? She allowed it to happen…their night of bliss and ecstasy. She closed her eyes tightly as image upon image of the night before flew up at her. It had been everything she had known that it would and she had to stop herself from smiling when she remembered that he had reached for her again in the middle of the night.

But still, there was a faint alarm going off in her head that she couldn't ignore. Even if they could get past the obvious obstacles like their careers, there was one huge one right smack in the middle of it. Bail…she didn't even love him. And he didn't even hold a candle to Anakin. But she had made a commitment to him. For reasons that she still didn't completely understand, she was engaged to a man she couldn't stand and the man she truly loved was out of reach because of it.

Looking out onto the beautiful crystal-clear lake, she felt an overwhelming feeling of helplessness that she knew would be present long after her wedding day. What could she do? She loved Anakin more than she could ever express, but then there was Bail and so much more than that. It felt like it was out of hands, like she was already bound to him even though her heart had been bound to Anakin for far longer.

It was a battle of heart and mind, one that Padme wasn't sure her heart could win. There was too much to think about, so many things to consider that made her head start to spin. If only there was a simple way of solving this overwhelming problem…

She took a quick glance at Anakin and sighed with relief when she saw that he was still sleeping. She couldn't face him just yet. She had too many things to think about before she talked to him.

As if on cue, she felt a pair of warm arms encircle her and felt comforting lips on her neck.

"Good morning." He whispered softly into her ear.

She turned her head and smiled up at him in spite of the thoughts that were brewing in her at that moment.

"I couldn't let you enjoy the view all by yourself, now could I?"

He smiled brightly down at her but it quickly faded when he felt the tension within her.

"What…what is it? You know you can tell me…"

She grimaced at the concern in his voice and couldn't turn to look at him until he had to place his hands firmly on her shoulders.

"Padme…you're starting to scare me…"

This time, she looked at him, her face somber with pain and guilt. She couldn't do it…she couldn't look him in the eyes and break his heart all over again, especially after the night they had just had. Everything was going so well, everything had fallen into place as it should be. But circumstances were getting in the way again and she didn't know what to do. It was too much, too much so soon.

Everything seemed to catch up with her all at once and she started to feel dizzy. She could feel him touching her arm to steady her and he was saying something to her, but everything was blurry and fuzzy.

When she finally got a hold of herself, she took one look at him and fled.


Anakin watched her escape him, too shocked to run after her. He shook his head in disbelief and looked back to where she had been seconds ago, only to find that she really was gone. He didn't know how to react to what he just witnessed. For being the Chosen One, he had absolutely no idea what to do about this woman. One minute she was hot, then cold the next. He couldn't read her emotions because he knew they would change in an instant.

Within a matter of moments, his senses cleared and the sleep was shaken out of him. He was completely confused, hurt, and angry by what she had just done. They had come so far…he had just had the best night of his entire life…and now, she was doing it to him all over again. She was going to rip out his heart bit by bit.

Without further hesitation, he headed in the direction she had fled to, determination his main driving force. Once more, he was desperately seeking answers. But this time, he knew the heartbreak that could follow was far more fatal than what he was risking the night before. She had given in to her feelings the night before and he had been granted restored hope for a future with her. Now, he needed to know why she wanted to throw all that away.


Padme burst into the first room she could find and sat down in frustration. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She was supposed to be happy because she was finally with the man she loved; only she couldn't stay with him. For reasons she couldn't completely understand, she felt obligated to her promise to Bail, even though she knew that she hadn't actually had the promise to him. It was more like a promise to her mother.

She sighed at the thought of her overbearing mother. She had absolutely no idea why she did everything her mother said…suddenly, a loud beep shot her attention from her thoughts.

It was Bail.

"Darling, I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was alright."

Padme suppressed a grimace and a loud groan at the sickening sight of her fiancé. "Don't worry, everything is fine here. We haven't had any problems."

"Ah yes, I trust the Jedi is taking care of you properly?"

"Of course. Could we expect anything less from a Jedi?"

Bail chuckled loudly. "Why yes, that's what he's here for right?"

Padme forced herself to smile at that, while clenching her fist in anger and annoyance under the table where Bail couldn't see.

"Is that all you needed?"

"Oh…yes, yes…I'll check back in a few days. Take care."

Padme only faintly smiled back at Bail's image before quickly shutting it off. She got up to leave, but froze in place at the sight of Anakin in her doorway. She knew without a doubt that he had heard her entire conversation with Bail. There were several awkward moments of silence before Anakin finally spoke after the agonizing torture.

"So that's all I am to you? Your Jedi and inside joke with your fiancé?" He spit out, practically choking on the word fiancé.

Padme rubbed her temples before daring to look at him. When she finally did, his face was red and it more than obvious that he was seething now.

"Anakin…"

"Don't even start, Padme. We're right back to where we started, aren't we? Ok, so what? You're going to through away everything to stay with him? You don't love him, Padme. You never did and never will. I don't understand you. Everything was going so great…I love you and I know you love me…just please, don't do this to me…not again…"

His voice softly faded out at those last words. He felt his heart crushing again, only this time, the pain was far worse. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair if they weren't together. That was how it was supposed to be. He had always known that that was how it was going to be. He took one look at her tear-stained face and couldn't bear to look at her anymore for fear that he would try to take her in his arms only to be rejected again. He didn't even give her a chance to reply to him…he left before she could even open her mouth to speak.

Padme sat back down and curled herself up into a tiny ball, tears running down her cheeks. She had done it again. She was a monster and deserved every pain imaginable in the world for what she had just done to the love of her life. She sighed; her happiness was too short-lived. But at least, in some way, she had known that happiness with Anakin, because she knew that as soon as she married Bail, any chance at happiness would be forever erased.