Chapter Sixteen

It wasn't long before Padme found herself completely thrown into wedding details. People were flinging fabrics, patterns, and suggestions at her left and right and the entire time all she could think of was why now? Why was her involvement so important when the wedding was the very next day? She really didn't care anyways. And she made sure that she wasn't much help either.

She quickly waved a pile of papers and magazines away from her and leaned back in her chair. She supposed all this chaos was because Bail had pushed up the wedding without much notice. But she could really care less about the wedding. After all her husband-to-be wasn't the man that she loved, so what did it matter? She had closed off all emotion, especially the ones that would involve her feelings toward Anakin.

They had left Tatooine almost immediately after she had told him how she felt. Neither spoke to the other and they had avoided eye contact at all cost. When they arrived back at the Lake Retreat, Anakin had shut himself in his room and she had quickly followed suit. She hadn't seen him since then. He kept to himself and stayed in his room. Some Jedi protector he was.

She sighed as her eyes fell on the white dress that had been laid out before her. She was to wear that the next day and it was the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. But she was going to wear it for the wrong person and now there was really nothing she could do about that. So she had shut herself off from the rest of the world, rarely allowing anyone to see her except her mother.

It really didn't matter anymore, everything she was feeling, all the pain she was suffering was of her own making. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't notice that someone had even entered the room. At the last moment, she heard soft footsteps and looked up…only to see Anakin's somber face and Jobal quickly shutting her door.

Padme was frozen in her chair, unable to move at the sight of him. She could only think of two reasons to explain his reason for being there. But she couldn't allow herself to think that he was here with the reasoning that would lead to them being together. That was just too positive for her taste.

"Padme…"

He paused, unsure of what to say. He had rehearsed his speech over a hundred times but now seeing her made him choke on anything he would have said. Somehow, he managed to find his voice.

"Padme, I came here because I needed to tell you that you can't marry Bail."

She swallowed and looked back up at him, her heart pounding into her heart.

"Why not?" She looked at him almost defiantly, like she was daring him to give her a better option.

"Because you don't love him." He looked away from her almost instantly after those words left him mouth. He didn't want her to get the wrong impression for why he was there. He wasn't trying to talk her into marrying him instead; he just knew that she couldn't marry Bail.

"So what?"

He sighed and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Because you don't love him and he won't make you happy. You would be making a huge mistake. Just don't…don't ruin your life because of me. I'm sure there's someone out there who can make you happier than he can. You don't even like him, Padme, and neither do I. I know you're only doing this because of me…"

"Don't tell me what I will or will not do. I'm not doing this because of you. I'm doing this because I don't care. I don't care anymore and you can't tell me what to do."

She placed her hands rebelliously on her hips and glared up at his hesitant face.

"I didn't come here to fight with you, Padme. I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to do this because of me. If you want to marry him, fine, do it. But don't ruin your entire life because you're mad at me."

"It doesn't matter anyways. It really doesn't matter."

"I wish you wouldn't say that."

"Well, I wish for a lot of things, but so far, none of it has really come true."

Anakin bit his lip, knowing exactly what she meant. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't ask her to marry him instead. She was silently pleading with him, but he just couldn't. He had too much pride to put himself through that all over again.

"You know what? I'm through with arguing with you. You want to ruin your life? Fine. I don't care either."

He turned on his heel and practically ran from the room. He almost ran right into Padme's mother, but managed to stumble right past her and back to his ship.


"Obi-Wan, I need a favor."

Obi-Wan looked expectantly back at his former apprentice, who was now standing before him looking more distraught than he had ever seen him. He had just arrived for the Senators' wedding and was definitely not anticipating to find Anakin in this kind of state.

"Of course. What do you need?"

"I need you to take my place."

Obi-Wan frowned and crossed his arms over his chest in thought. "Why…I thought you were supposed to be at the wedding tomorrow as well."

"Yes, yes, I know, but I can't do it tomorrow. I can't be there."

"Why not?"

Anakin sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, trying to find the way to word what he wanted to say. "Let's just say that I don't agree with Senator Amidala's decision to marry Senator Organa. I think it would be a conflict of interest if I was present tomorrow as her bodyguard and anytime after that."

Obi-Wan nodded absentmindedly as he digested this information. "Can I just ask why you don't want her to marry him?"

"She doesn't even like him, Obi-Wan. She would be miserable with him. I just want her to be happy, maybe I've just taken this bodyguard assignment too seriously."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't surprised at all. After all, Anakin had always had a big heart and he had always cared for Senator Amidala. It was only natural that he would want her to find happiness.

"I understand your dilemma, Anakin. I'm sure it would be no trouble. What will you do then?"

"I'll go back to Coruscant and ask the Council to find a replacement."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, I've no doubt they will oblige you, especially once they discover your reasoning."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I don't know what I'd do if I was there tomorrow. It's for the best though; I'm just going to find a replacement anyways."

Obi-Wan placed a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "It's no problem at all."

Anakin nodded back at his former Master and continued to walk towards his ship. He still had to pack his bags back at the Lake Retreat and then, he wanted to rest awhile. He could leave for Coruscant in the morning.

He shook his head, knowing that he should leave that night if not immediately, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't ask her to marry him instead, but he couldn't watch her destroy her entire life either. There was still some part of him, way in the back of his mind that was telling him there was another reason he couldn't bring himself to leave until the very last minute.

He couldn't believe how stubborn she was…and he couldn't decide if it was stupidity or just plain will power that was forcing her to marry Organa. He had to admit that was part of why he loved her so much…she was strong-willed and incredibly determined. But now, that was working against her and himself. He wanted nothing more than to just walk away, like he had told her he would, but it was harder than he had ever imagined. He was sitting in the cockpit of his ship now…and all he had to do was set the controls for Coruscant. He didn't necessarily need what was back at the Retreat, he had his light saber and that was the most item of most importance. All he had to do was leave. But he couldn't do it.

His hand slipped off the controls and he fell back into his chair. He set his course for the Lake Retreat, telling himself that this was the last time he was going to give in.


Jobal slowly crept into her daughter's room, noting quickly that her wedding dress had been thrown to the ground along with a heap of added wedding details that had been on Padme's desk. She had heard every word of Padme's conversation with the Jedi and now she was even more aware that her daughter was heading down a dark and dangerous path.

She found her daughter sitting on the balcony, her feet dangling across the edge.

"Oh gods, Padme. Don't jump! Please…we can talk about this!"

Padme laughed sarcastically. "I'm not going to jump, Mother. If I wanted to do that, I would have done it a couple of years ago."

"Alright, alright. Just come down from there. You're making me nervous."

Padme obliged her within a matter of seconds and came face to face with her mother.

"I heard you talking with the Jedi…"

"Oh god, Mother! I can't believe you! When are you going to leave me alone and let me live my life?"

Jobal's mouth dropped open but she shut it quickly. "Padme, you're making a mistake. That Jedi…he's right, you know. You won't be happy with Bail. I used to think that you could, but I saw you with him. I heard the way that Jedi…Anakin…I heard the way he talked to you. He loves you, Padme. You'll be making the biggest mistake of your life if you marry the wrong man…believe me, I know."

Now it was Padme's turn to gape at her mother. Never in a million years would she have guessed that her mother wasn't happy with her father.

"Now, don't get me wrong, Padme. I love your father very much. It's just not the same. Surely you know what I mean. Believe me, I see the way you look at Bail and it's completely different than it is with your father and I. We care for each other, we're best friends. Every time you look at Bail, I'm afraid you're going to vomit."

"Mother…"

"No, just listen to me. This is important! If you marry Bail, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I know you, Padme. I know you better than you know yourself. Don't do it. Be with Anakin instead. I know that's what you really want. I'll even take care of everything with Bail. I'll cancel everything. You won't have to anything except go and get your man."

Padme sighed and looked at her mother with sorrowful eyes. "No…mother, you don't know what you're talking about. I can't be with Anakin…"

"Of course you can…"

"NO! I can't because he doesn't want me. I told him that I loved him and I wanted to be with him, not Bail. You know what he told me? He told me that he was going to walk away from me like I had done to him. He said that he couldn't let himself get hurt again. He doesn't love me…he doesn't want to be with me. He hates me! And it's too late now anyways. He's leaving."

Her last words came out in a loud sob and she hugged herself tightly. She had never felt so alone in her life and the weight of her impending nuptials felt like the weight of the entire galaxy resting on her tiny frame. Finally speaking out loud of Anakin's rejection made it seem all the more real, and it made the knife in her heart plunge a little deeper.

Jobal wiped her daughter's tear-stained face, then wiped her own before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "It's never too late, Padme."

Then she turned and left her daughter alone. Tomorrow would come all too soon and her daughter had to decide if she wanted to show up for it or not.