Chapter Twelve!

Matt looked up and saw Officer Grace talking with one of the paramedics. He watched as the officer looked down, nodding. Then she glanced up toward where Matt, Mary and Ronnie were waiting. Matt knew right away what had happened, but Ronnie was still crying in Mary's arms. She hadn't even noticed when Officer Grace was walking toward them. Matt nudged his sister and Mary looked up to see the officer approaching slowly, with her hands in her pockets. She looked up at Matt, sighing and turned to Ronnie.

"Ronnie." Mary said gently and Ronnie looked up and saw Officer Grace coming closer. Mary stood up and helped Ronnie off the ground. Matt and Mary both placed comforting hands on Ronnie's shoulders as Officer Grace looked into the misty brown eyes of the teenager standing in front of her. Ronnie could sense something was wrong; it was written all over Officer Grace's face, but Ronnie wanted to hold on to that small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, her parents would be okay.

"They're okay, right? They're going to be okay...aren't they?" Ronnie asked quietly, as her breathing became heavier, waiting for Officer Grace to say something. Officer Grace only shook her head sadly.

"I'm sorry honey. The damage was too extensive. They're gone. There was nothing the paramedics could do. It was just too late." She said as her eyes remained locked on Ronnie, who had started to cry. She turned around and buried her face into Matt's shoulder and he held her tightly as she cried. Officer Grace stood silently out of respect and Mary turned to her.

"Thank you Officer." She said quietly. Officer Grace nodded and excused herself. Ronnie turned from Matt as the wind picked up a bit and rain began to fall from the sky. Matt and Mary noticed it immediately, but Ronnie didn't feel it. She couldn't feel anything; everything felt numb as she watched the scene in front of her. The two bodies lying lifelessly on her front lawn, blood drenching their clothes and their skin. Ronnie tried hard to make sense of what she was feeling in that moment, but couldn't. She felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, but also closure. Never had she wished her parents dead, but in that moment she realized that all the promises Eric, Annie and even Jenny had made to her were real. Her parents couldn't hurt her anymore. A lifetime of pain and suffering had finally come to an end. Ronnie shook her head, ashamed for those feelings. She never wanted them to die; she now wished they had just been caught and sent to jail before any of this had even happened. It was too late now and Ronnie watched as the paramedics lifted Troy and Allison's bodies into a pair of body bags. Mary took Ronnie's face in her hands and turned her away so she wouldn't have to watch anymore. Ronnie no longer cried; she could barely remember what happened next. She barely remembered Matt putting her jacket over her shoulders, she barely remembered Mary leading her to the car, she barely remembered driving home. It was all a distant blur to her. She vaguely remembered Annie running out the front door when they arrived home and embracing Ronnie tightly, but she was so numb with pain and confusion, she hadn't spoken. Annie helped Ronnie get ready for bed as Matt and Mary made some hot chocolate in the kitchen, sitting in silence for the rest of the night.


Ronnie had drifted off to sleep immediately after Annie had tucked her in, sitting by her bed for a long time, watching her sleep. She had cried for the girl whose parents had just died, and she prayed over her and then finally went to bed.

Ronnie's sleep was fitful, and she tossed and turned all night, having nightmares about her parents' deaths. In her dreams, she was holding the gun, staring at them in the same way her father had stared at her when he pulled the trigger. In her dream, she was the murderer.

She woke up with a start, sweat drenching her bed. She started to cry again, feeling as if her dream were real. She couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that was eating her up inside. No matter what Mary or Matt had said about it not being her fault, she couldn't help but ask herself the "what if" questions. What if I had never gone to church that morning? What if I had never been born? What if they had just killed me? Her sobs became louder and louder as she was unable to control them anymore. She tried to cry into her pillow to quiet them down but she had still been heard. Annie came running into her bedroom, tying the sash around her housecoat. She felt her heart sink when she saw the young child crying in her bed. Annie slowly approached Ronnie and sat on the bed next to her, stroking Ronnie's hair to show her she was right there with her.

"It's okay sweetheart, I'm here now." She soothed as Ronnie just cried. There was silence in the room for nearly a half an hour as Ronnie cried out her pain and Annie stayed with her. Annie was surprised when the tears finally died down and Ronnie sat up, head down. Her brown hair covered most of her face, but Annie knew it would be tear streaked. Ronnie didn't look up, she only shook her head.

"I-I can't stop thinking...what...if..." Before she could even finish her sentence, Annie took her face in her hands and forced her to look at her.

"Ronnie, don't you even think like that. Matt and Mary have already told me you were blaming yourself but you have got to stop! What your parents did was never your responsibility. They made their own choices and those choices were not your fault! It wasn't your fault all of the times they hurt you growing up. You deserved much better and no child should have to go through all the pain you went through Ronnie. It wasn't your fault when your father shot you. You may think that if only you hadn't gone to church that morning, things wouldn't have ended up this way. You're right; what if they hadn't? If you hadn't gone to church that morning, your father's built up anger still would have eventually pushed him over the edge and he could have killed you. Who would have found you then? Ronnie, if you hadn't gone to church that morning, you might not be alive. Eric found you before it was too late and we're so lucky to have you. You mean so much to us Ronnie; you're part of our family now. You deserve the best and though we may not be the best, we love you and that's what's important. We hate to see you going through so much pain, but just know we're here for you." Annie said through her own tears as Ronnie's own tears shed some more. She looked over at her stuffed animals, Chimpy and the bear with her name on it. She really was lucky to be alive and she realized in that moment that things could have turned out much worse. She had managed to escape the abuse of her parents and enter a family that loved her. She loved the Camdens so much and felt so blessed to become a part of their family; to finally understand what family truly meant. She had never been happier than she had been in the month she had lived with her new family. It was more happiness than she had ever experienced in her fifteen years of life. She now had a dad and a mom who listened to her when she needed to talk; who gave her hugs; who loved her unconditionally. She also had brothers and sisters now, a gift she was truly glad to have, growing up as an only child. She loved each and every one of the Camdens in a special way and was truly glad they came into her life. In that moment, she realized if she had never gone to church that morning, she never would have met the Camden family and thinking about that hurt. Ronnie didn't want to ever imagine a time where she didn't know them. They had been her lifesavers, in more way than one.

She looked up at Annie who smiled at her. Ronnie managed to smile a little as well as she wrapped her arms around Annie's neck, hugging her tightly. Annie hugged back, holding the small girl in her arms.

"I...I love you Annie." Ronnie whispered quietly. Annie's stomach dropped; it was the first time Ronnie had said "I love you" since she had been with them. It was a big deal for Ronnie, who had never used those words before, besides in her prayers to God. She had never expressed those words to her parents, who had never shown love to their daughter. Ronnie was still learning what love was, but living with the Camdens was a great place to learn.

"Oh Ronnie, I love you too. Everything will be okay. We're a family, and we're going to help you through this." Annie said as she held Ronnie. Ronnie smiled and as her new mother held her close, Ronnie felt something she had never felt before.

She felt safe.