Disclaimer: I don't own the Bleach characters they belong to the amazing mind of Kubo-sensei and even though I'll love to own them I don't so I'll settle with merely borrow them.
Rating: 'PG'
Genre: Drama/Romance.
Character (s): Kuchiki Byakuya and Unohana Retsu.
Pairing (s): Byakuya+Retsu, ByakuyaxHisana
Warning (s):
1)Major Occ'ness from Byakuya
2)Angst from Retsu past, since I don't know anything about her past I took the liberty to invent something with a friend.
Dedication: To Andrea that loves this pairing and made me fell in love with it,she alsoinsisted for me to write this, for you my dear friend.
Summary: A small conversation about the pain they both feel due to the loss of someone really dear to them…set two weeks after Hisana's death.
"Could It Be Any Harder"
She felt empty and broken, the centre of her universe was now gone and she couldn't do nothing about that more than to try to accept it, but how was she supposed to do so? Now that person was gone she didn't had no reason to effort herself to be better each passing day, she didn't had no one that will be proud for her or that was glad that she was a captain in one of the thirteen divisions. Now she didn't have a reason to go on as such and the best will be for her to leave the duty as a captain because that didn't mean anything to her now.
After all her grandmother Unohana Sunao, that had been her mother, her best friend and her only family member that truly loved her, was now dead and she will never tell her that she was doing a good job as a captain and that she was proud of her, now what was the point to go on if no one else will care.
Is not like Unohana Retsu didn't had a family because she had, the thing was that her family didn't loved her at the contrary they hated her and really she couldn't blame them, after all she had brought shame upon them.
The Unohana name was a well respected and prestigious name between the nobles, maybe not as much as the ones in four royal families, but they were one of the few families with enough nobility in their blood to allow a member of the royal families to wed them and keep the noble blood in their heirs, so it wasn't much of a surprise that some of the members of the Unohana family, specially women, had been part of them and bored noble children.
The actual heads of the house Unohana Tsukasa and his wife Etsuko had four amazing children, Tsubaru, Mieko, Touya and Retsu, from those maybe the most blessed was Retsu, she was beautiful, gentle and wise making her parents really proud of her. Like any other girl in nobility Retsu learned all the feminine activities that will please her husband, his family and their friends and it seemed that she'll turn to be a great wife, the aura between all the family members was harmonious and filled with love it was perfect.
However everything changed one day, it was of common knowledge that it was really rare the occasion when a member of the four royal noble families decided to look for a wife in the other close noble families and when that happened it brought joy and happiness to the family and the chosen woman yet Retsu wasn't that type of woman at all.
It all happened when Retsu turned nine years, by that time the beauty she will grow to have was undeniable and a member of the royal families noticed so and was immediately mesmerized by the young girl, this man talked with Tsukasa and asked for Retsu hand and that he wished to wed her as soon as possible, of course that Tsukasa accepted after all it was a member of the royal families the problem came when Retsu denied to marry, the shame she brought upon her family due to that was great and it was decided that Mieko married instead of her, however her family never forgive her that offence.
That's when she was sent to live with Sunao and the incident was kept as a secret so no one will know the shame she brought upon them, Retsu was truly saddened but her grandmother helped her through those difficult times and gave her all the love that she needed. When Retsu turned fifteen and decided to become a shinigami Sunao was the only one that gave her all the support to keep going and it was thanks to that support that she managed to become a captain, but now that Sunao was gone what was the point to keep going?
The demure and gentle captain of the fourth division stopped, the wind rustled her lose long raven hair and the equally black kimono sleeves, her violet hued orbs looked around the forest, she knew that maybe she needed to return to her head quarters but it had been long since she had a night stroll and she really needed it in that moment besides that if she went to her headquarters she will be showered with questions and she needed time to herself. That forest certainly brought back memories of her first days in the Shinigami School, she had meet Jyuushiro and Shunsui there, the first friends she ever made.
It was in that forest where they had trained and when she noticed that she didn't liked to fight, even though her fighting skills were pretty decent, and she preferred to heal. It was also in that place were Jyuushiro and Shunsui had congratulated her when she became the captain of her division just like them, silently she walked to the small clearing that they often used to relax from their captain duties and merely talk about stuff. She smiled when she noticed that the clearing hadn't changed at all, with a ting of sadness she walked to the powerful oak tree that stood in the centre and placed her hand in the rather smooth trunk, it had been awhile since she had been there.
Under that tree she also had very fond memories of the time she spent with them and it was also there that the met Kuchiki Byakuya, she had never knew that Jyuushiro was a close friend of the captain of the sixth division, of course that he often came and when he did she rarely exchanged words with him mostly from bad memories than dislike to him because she though of him as real good and respectful man, in the end she came to respect and admire him a lot something that Shunsui used to tease her and tell her she was in love with him.
Retsu could still remember the laughs and the smiles they had all shared there, well not all because she had never seen Byakuya laughing nor smiling and it intrigued her a bit, however that was now part of the past cause many thing had changed and fate seemed to have played with them, Jyuushiro illness got worse, Shunsui love for sake grew, Byakuya recently lost his wife and she now had lost her grandmother, it seemed that now they were toys of fate.
Mutely and pained she sat under the oak tree, her eyes looked up at the sky and barely saw the starlit sky, giving up in that task she looked down at the floor and one of her hands moved to her cheeks, the tender skin still stung due to the strong slap her mother had given her when she stepped into her house, if she could cry, if her position as a shinigami allowed her to cry by that moment she'll be crying a river.
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The night breeze felt rather nice that night, it was the first time in two weeks that he came out to his usual night strolls since his young wife passed away, after she died he hadn't feel the will to go out every night and return to a now empty room.
The sudden death of Hisana had been a real strong hit for Byakuya, after all he truly loved her and even broke the rules to wed her, now five years later she dies and he couldn't do anything to help her. He had merely stayed by her side as he watched her fade away each day till finally the flame of her life extinguished and he couldn't do nothing more than watch. It was really ironic that his wife had died on spring when life is supposed to start again but in this case a life had ended and it was the life of the person that he loved.
Kuchiki Byakuya wasn't a man that showed his feelings easily to everyone yet Hisana had been a special case, she had seen what laid behind the mask of cold indifference, something that only Jyuushiro had done, and had made her way through that and into his heart gaining a strong grip on it without even trying to do so. In truth Hisana had been an amazing woman, with a kind personality and good feelings, maybe she wasn't a noble born and that fact had amused him cause for the brief time they had been married she had allowed him to step out of the nobility reality and created a world of their own.
In their brief marriage she had become the centre of his universe and his heart, but now that was gone leaving him empty, maybe Hisana hadn't loved him as he loved her, she had told him so when she was dying but he already knew that, every time he gazed into her strange hued blue eyes he saw admiration, respect and gratitude never he saw the love he longed to see in those eyes yet he had settled with that and had hoped that might change eventually, but it didn't.
Now Hisana had died and had made him promise to look for the sister she couldn't find, to protect her, to giver her his last name, to treat her as his sister and to never let her know she had been her sister, he had promised Hisana that no matter what he will find her sister and take her as his own sister, it was the least he could do for Hisana since he couldn't do nothing to help her while she was ill. By adopting her sister he felt like he will be paying for the time she was with him, for the smiles she bestowed upon him, for the care she showed him, for the respect she had for him and for staying by his side even though she didn't loved him, it will be his way to say thank you to Hisana.
He suddenly stopped when he found himself in the clearing Jyuushiro and Shunsui used to relax from their obvious captain duties, it was in that clearing when he first exchanged words with the captain of the fourth division, it's true that he often showed there with Jyuushiro but Byakuya clearly remembered the laughs and smiles that had filled that place in more happy times, of course that he had never smiled nor laughed but he rather enjoyed to be close to them and see them express the happiness he couldn't express so freely.
But now that he thought about it he had never heard Unohana Retsu laughing he had only see her smiling, amidst that and being the man he was he had found the woman pretty however it intrigued him to finally acknowledge that she had never laughed and that she had barely exchanged words with him at all. Asides the courteous greeting she had barely spoken with him and for a strange reason it bothered him, now that could either be because she didn't liked him or she was utterly shy.
His deep grey orbs fell on the strong oak tree in the middle of the clearing and wasn't that surprised to see that nothing had changed at all since the last time he came to that place. Many things had changed in that time of absence Jyuushiro illness had gotten worse and most of the division responsibilities fell on his lieutenant, Shunsui had taken the sake as his permanent lover, Retsu was busy with her division and he had lost his wife.
"Kuchiki-sama?" A soft and melodically feminine voice called
A bit startled he looked over to the source of the voice, standing besides the tree and with a slender against the tree trunk was Unohana Retsu, she was serenely looking at him, what called his attention was that she was wearing a expensive looking black kimono that fitted her figure perfectly and that her usual braided raven hair fell freely behind her back, except for the silver hairpins that held some strands of her hair in a half bun, it was the first time Byakuya saw Retsu dressed as the noble woman she was and it didn't hurt to admit that she looked rather beautiful.
The captains of the fourth and the sixth division merely stood in silence awaiting for the other to brake the heavy silence that had befallen upon them, Retsu sighed is not like she expected Byakuya to speak with her after all they barely got along yet amidst that she wanted to tell him that she was sorry for the loss of his wife cause she had heard from Jyuushiro that he truly loved her and maybe this was going to be the only chance she will have.
"What are you doing here, Unohana-san?" His deep baritone voice broke the silence in the end.
"I'm taking a small stroll, I didn't felt like returning to my headquarters asides it's such a fresh night that I wanted to walk for awhile" With an elegant motion she leaned against the tree branch and looked down "How about you, Kuchiki-sama?"
For a few instants he had seen pain reflected on her gentle feminine face "I always take night strolls"
"I see" She looked up at the barely visible sky and felt like crying "It's a rather beautiful night, ne?"
"It is" He simply responded and briefly looked up "May I inquire if something happened to you?"
Retsu paled a bit and once again felt sadness course through her system "Hai"
"I assumed so" Byakuya lost his interest in the night sky and turned to look at her "May I know what?"
"Is nothing that important, Kuchiki-sama, just stuff" Mutely she once again sited under the lush grass under the oak tree and sobbed rather softly "Will you keep your stroll, Kuchiki-sama?"
His grey orbs looked down at her and noticed that she was looking back at him with her deep strange hued violet orbs, that strangely he found he liked to stare into them, the violet colour was so different from the blue eyes he had used to stare to "If you don't mind, I'll like to linger here for awhile"
"Ie, you can stay here as long as you wish" She answered and looked down at her hands.
With that said Byakuya moved to sit under tree keeping an appropriate distance from Retsu, not to far but not to close almost arm length, both captains sited in silence. For a strange reason the silence they were now immersed was more comfortable that the first one, for some instants Byakuya remembered the long times he had sited in a comfortable silence with Hisana while she had been alive and it brought him bittersweet memories, for some instants he had wanted to believe that he was once again sitting with Hisana but for a strange reason he couldn't forget that with the person he was sharing that moment was Retsu and not Hisana, stranger was that he even noticed that both women had different scents.
Hisana always had a fresh and young scent that was the mix of spring Iris and white plum blossoms, while she was alive she had also loved those flowers more than everything and it was more than natural that her favourite perfume will be the sweet mix of these types of flowers, Retsu on the other hand had a soothing and mature scent of bellflowers mixed with the spicy citrus scent of ginger making a rather intoxicating scent and that it suited her perfectly, both Hisana and Retsu had been the same age yet they seemed to have different personalities.
Slowly Retsu turned to look at Byakuya only to find him deep in thought, amidst that she could easily tell he was still grieving and suffering the death of his wife, he might hide under that expression of coldness and it might work with others yet she could read his eyes and easily know that he was still pained, after all Sunao had taught her to read other people eyes and she could read his besides she was sharing his same pain, well maybe not exactly but she was.
"Excuse me, Kuchiki-sama?" She lightly called him
He turned to look at her "What is it, Unohana-san?"
"Is just that Jyuushiro told me that your wife died two weeks ago" She was a bit surprised to see for a few seconds the flash of pain in his eyes before it went away "I just wanted to tell you that I think I understand how you feel in this moment"
"You do?" The question came with his coldest tone, he hadn't meant to use that tone with her but it had angered him that she tried to relit ate with his pain "Do tell me Unohana-san, have you lost someone that you loved with all your being, someone that you dared to call your soul mate, someone that once gone left you empty, have you?"
She looked at him a bit sad "Ie, I have never loved as much as you love Lady Hisana and truth be told I hadn't met that person that's supposed to be my soul mate and I don't think I would" She looked down not being able to keep her gaze with his "I don't think that I could match that deep and passionate love that you have for her and I don't want to do so"
He hid his surprise when she said those words, a surprise that came from the mere fact that she had also been able to see through his cold mask of indifference "Then why do you say that you can understand how I feel?"
"Because today my grandmother died, I loved her with all my heart and she was the centre of my universe, everything that I am and that I had done was thanks to her. Now that she has died I feel like if my world had crumbled down on me and I feel more empty and cold that ever, when she died she took my heart and my soul" With utter strength of will she kept her tears inside, after all a shinigami wasn't allowed to cry besides that it will be shameful to weep in front of him "I'm nothing more than an empty shell, that's why I say that I can understand you at least a little bit"
"I see" The anger he felt towards her subsided and he could clearly see the tears that she didn't allow to spill, it was rather strange Retsu had lost her grandmother and he had lost his wife yet he could tell that her pain was greater than his "I'm sorry about your grandmother"
"Arigato, Kuchiki-sama" Her hands fisted against the silk fabric of her black kimono and she lowered her head allowing her dark bangs to cover her eyes "I'm also sorry about the loss of Lady Hisana, forgive me if I made you angry but this was going to be the only chance I'll have to tell you this"
Byakuya gazed at her a bit confused "What do you mean with 'the only chance'?"
"I have decided to leave my charge as the fourth division captain and return to have a normal life" She softly answered
"Don't you care what your family will tell you for that?" He asked
"They don't care whether I die or live, after the shame I brought to the family they hate me and they nor wish to see me" With some melancholy her hand moved to her left cheek, just were her mother had smacked her and then told her how much she hated her and cursed the day she gave birth to her "Even though that hate I'll still assist to my grandmother burial tomorrow, I don't care if my mother smacks me again or if they kick me, I'll be there."
For what he had just tell him, Byakuya concluded that her mother had smacked as soon as she set a feet in the house "May I know, why your family hates you Unohana-san?"
"It's because I denied to marry a member of the royal families, I had just turned nine years and that man fixed his eyes on me, my father was proud of it yet I denied to marry him, so my older sister Mieko married instead" She briefly explained and lowered her hand "My family never forgave me that and kept the secret, they couldn't stand to see me so they sent me to my grandmother house and she took care of me, she was also the only one to support my choice to became a shinigami"
"I do not blame you for not wanting to get married at such a young age and your family doesn't deserve the title of nobility" For a small instance he could comply with that feeling after all his family had also hated him for marrying Hisana "I don't think you should quit to your captain title, I do not think your grandmother will be pleased to see you surrendering to what you achieved"
Retsu mouth went dry and he knew he was right, her grandmother will hate to see she had quitted for such a reason as her passing, Sunao will have never wanted to see her leaving what made her happy. Not being able to keep her tears any longer she cried, it had been so long since the last time she had cried, the last time she had cried was when her family pushed her away, she cried like if her tears will never end. Retsu gasped when she felt Byakuya wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to his chest, not caring about anything she cried against his chest and fisted her hands against his black kimono.
Byakuya hadn't planned on hugging Retsu yet when he saw the tears running down her alabaster cheeks he felt so bad, it was the same effect when Hisana had cried when she hadn't been able to find her sister, it was something that he couldn't help himself from doing besides he didn't liked to see someone as fragile looking as Retsu crying, it had stirred his heart badly and it was the first time he felt his heart react that way since Hisana died.
He let her cry till her eyes grew dry and she was merely sobbing against his chest, in that moment he didn't cared if his clothes had been ruined due to her tears after all he could always replace it, what he cared in that moment, strangely, was to keep holding her slim and fragile form between his arms for awhile longer. She was in the same dilemma, she knew it was odd to be in the arms of a widower and one that she knew still loved his late wife yet she felt safe in his arms and her heart was beating rather fast, if it was for her she will have loved to stay there all night yet she couldn't help but think he was only doing that to maybe remind himself of his passed wife.
With a small sigh she pushed away from him "I'm sorry, Kuchiki-sama, I think I ruined your clothes"
"Do notworry about that" He said with some assurance
"Arigato, Kuchiki-sama" Her violet orbs gazed up at him "I think I only needed to be reminded of what my grandmother taught me"
He was surprised when he found himself smiling at her "You're welcome, Unohana-san"
"Kuchiki-sama" A small blush came to her cheeks when she finally saw him smiling only to see that he looked more handsome with a true smile on his face "I finally saw you smiling…you have a nice smile"
"Is getting colder, Unohana-san, maybe you should return to your headquarters" He neutrally said as he made them stoop up from the grass "And is recommendable for you to rest"
"Hai" Slowly she cleaned her kimono from the green grass blades and looked at him "If I'm allowed I think you should do the same, Kuchiki-sama"
"Aa, I will, Unohana-san" He simply answered.
They gazed into each other eyes for a few moments, Retsu lightly smiled at him and bowed in respect before she walked past him to leave the clearing and to rest, his grey eyes merely watched her till she got lost between the many trees. For the first time since Hisana died he felt at ease and didn't minded that much the fact of returning to an empty room, at least that night that is, mutely he looked up at the sky and now he was able to see the glittering sky and for a strange reason her remembered the last words Hisana had told him…
"Kuchiki-sama, you're still young and you can take another wife, please do no let my memory stray you from rebuilding your life again, you may still love me but you can also love another woman, don't you ever believe you're betraying my memory cause nothing will do me more happy than to know you can be happy by the side of a woman that will fully return your love" Hisana smiled up at him and grasped his hand with the last of her strength "I know that you'll find a woman that will fill your expectations, do not use me as an example as the way to chose your new wife cause not all the women are the same. Please Kuchiki-sama rebuilt your life and be happy; I give you the permission to do so and never feel like if you're betraying me, please be happy once again"
With a small shook of his head he turned around to walk back to his house, maybe he could still be happy with another woman yet he didn't wanted to look weak in front of the other members of the royal families, he will have to keep his mask and see how fate will lead him in that aspect of his life.
Owari.
Well there you have it, my first drabble of the pairing ByakuyaxRetsu, I don't know how many drabbles this will have, maybe till I get bored, ne? I must also add that this drabbles will vary from romance, to humour and angst also the ratings will also vary they will either be 'G', 'PG', 'PG-13' and 'R' that will depend on my mood, so if you have problem with the 'R' rating I'll leave a warning before so you can avoid it, also the drabbles doesn't have a specific time line cause today I can write this one that's on the past the next one can be Post the Soul society ark and then the other can be after Aizen and his group has his asses severally kicked.
Also you'll know when I'll have a couple officially as an item due to this, example:
IchigoxRukia: When you see the names joined by an 'x' it will mean they are an official item, in other words they are a couple.
Renji+Rukia: You see the names joined by a '+' it means that they are hinted and they will be a few steps away from being an official couple.
Orihime/Ichigo: When you see the names joined by the '/' it means is only a one sided attraction coming from the first person mentioned, in this case will be Orihime.
Well hope that clears some things and that a person that's here with me can stop bugging me.
With that I say goodbye, wait my next drabble, that can come on whether I have an idea or a friend give it. See you and please Review, flames aren't allowed but I can welcome constructive criticism (except from my grammar that I know sucks)
Sayonara Bye, Bye and don't forget to always fight for your dreams.
