Disclaimer: Me no own...You no sue!
A/N: This song is For You I Will by Monica. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you guys rock!
For You I Will
Olivia's POV
He is slumped over his desk, head in his hands, back rising and falling slowly with each breath he takes. His shirt today matches his sharp, blue eyes and his hunter green tie is lying across the pile of file folders that are sitting on his desk.
I sit and watch him breathe for a few minutes, in our line of work it is very possible to be shot, stabbed, or severely wounded while on duty. Munch and Fin left about an hour ago, Cragen was holed up in his office, talking to a relative on the telephone.
After a few minutes, Elliot gets to his feet. His body seems heavy, like he's about ready to give up on the job, maybe even his life. Seeing what we see everyday tends to eventually have that affect on cops with Special Victims. More than anything, my partner needs a friend.
When you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
He grabs his suit jacket and shrugs it on after rolling his sleeves down from his elbows. He isn't looking at me, but I can tell he can feel my gaze. He grabs his coffee mug and drains the last bit of cold caffeine from the bottom of the cup and sets it back down.
Turning away from me, I watch him leave the bull pen and head for the door to the roof. I quietly slide the witness statement I was scanning back into the folder and push my chair back. Elliot's can push me away all he wants but I'm not going anywhere.
I'll be there to protect you
See you through
I'll be there and there ain't anything
I won't do
Partners are supposed to shield each other, protect each other from any kind of hurt and I'm not going to let my partner down when he needs me most. It used to usually be the other way round with all this comforting crap.
I'm the one who has the most problems with cases, victims, the general feeling of helplessness. My past makes the fall hard and fast. Like when you step off the bottom step on a staircase and could have sworn that there was another step below it. When it comes to me and my welfare, Elliot is like a mother hen with her chicks, only he's male and he's a father of four kids, not a mother of small chickens.
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I promise you
For you I will
I don't bother snatching my coat before I follow Elliot up to the roof, it's pretty warm for April and I'll survive in a short sleeve shirt. Under most circumstances I would only have to give him a shoulder to cry on, or a person to duke his anger out with. This time, however, I don't know what is contributing to his current state of mind.
He's going to fight me tooth and nail until either I drag everything out of him, or he throws me over the balcony to my death. I sincerely hope that it's the first one.
His back is to me when I step through the door.
"Elliot," My voice is harder than I anticipated, and he turns to look at me, his eyes sad.
"What," It's the cold in his voice more than the sudden breeze that makes me shiver.
I will shield your heart from the rain
I will let no harm come your way
Oh, these arms will be your shelter
No, these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
His eyes seem to register the fact that he was too harsh to me and he shifts his jacket off to place over my shoulders. I step away and feel it slip to the ground, Elliot simply stares. I move closer to him until he is leaning backwards over the guard rail, his hands gripping the cylinder of metal.
Intuitively, I lean into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist, feeling the soft cotton of his shirt covering the hard muscles of his chest. I can feel each breath radiate through his lungs.
"Let it go Elliot!" I murmur into his stomach.
I will be your fortress
Tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you
Right or wrong
"Liv," his voice is thick and laced with tears which I know he won't shed.
"Let go!" I repeat.
I feel his body relax against me, his hands release their death grip on the guardrail to grab a hold of me instead.
"I'm sorry Liv," his body curls forwards to cradle me against him, "I can't do this anymore! I need out, I need to be normal!"
I can feel him staring at me when I chuckle.
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I promise you
For you I will
"No one is normal, Elliot!" I state clearly. "Especially not us, and we're a little to far gone to become normal!" Even though no one can prove my statements, we both know that they are solid fact. An ex-special victims cop can never be ordinary.
"You're right!" he sighs, hugging my even closer, I wonder if he can feel my racing heartbeat. "But-" he trails off, I follow.
"But what El,"
"I'm not sure if I mean anything here! If I retire or transfer, I can spend more time with my kids, with my college buddies, who's gonna care if I stay here, yeah, maybe I'm a god cop that gets pervs and perps off the streets," damn, he read my mind, "But do I really know John? Fin?" he pauses for a second before pushing my back to look into his eyes, "Do I really know you, Liv?"
I feel like a fish out of water, you know when you keep trying to take a breath and there is no air so you panic and need it even more. I'm shocked by his words, not hurt, not angry. I can literally feel his pain; of course he is gripping my arms rather tightly.
"I would die for you Stabler!"
For you I will
Lay my life on the line
For you I will fight (oh, oh)
For you I will die
With every breath, with all my soul
I'll give my word, I'll give it all
Put your faith in me
(Put your faith in me)
And I'll do anything
The words are out of my mouth before I realize what I was saying. Elliot stares at me for a few seconds, he's processing my words, and I can read his mind like a book.
"It's your job-" I cut him off immediately by pressing against him until he is once again leaning over the guardrail.
"Don't.Go.There.Detective!" my words are clipped and I am holding back the threatening tears. I have worked with this man for over six years and he believes that I only protect him 'cause it's my job. I fight the urge to land a smack to his cheek.
He seems to sense my anger, frustration, and hurt and his body tenses.
"Oh God, Liv, I didn't mean-" I cut him off again.
"Damn You Elliot!" I can hear the tears behind my voice and I curse myself knowing that he can hear them too. "I would do anything for you! I thought you knew that, if you ran to Antarctica, I would walk across the water to bring you home. If you told me you wanted the moon to light up your night, I would box it up and tie it with a ribbon for you. If you get lost, I'll be your roadmap back to where you belong. Don't tell me that's the job, 'cause I know damn well what it is and I'm scared of it!"
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I promise you
For you I will
I turn to leave. I totally just blew any lid I had over my feelings for this man clear to Canada. Best to disappear now. I'll grab my stuff from the precinct and hide out in the ladies room so if he goes to my apartment I won't be there and won't have to face him, at least not yet.
I keep my head down until I reach the door. I put a hand out to reach the handle, before I can, a lone tear slips down my face and I use my hand to brush it back instead. That action gives my partner the time he needs to call my name.
"Liv," his voice is choked slightly; at least he's hurting like I am. "Would you really do all that for me?"
I will, I will, I will
"I sure as hell wouldn't do that for Munch!" I reply, staying by the door, but now I have no intention of leaving.
"Olivia," his tone is sweet, caring even. I'm scared. "If you need someone to lean on, I'm always gonna be here for you, if the clouds cover up your sunny skies, I'll chase them away. I promise to give you anything you need, just tell me what you want."
He's trying to make amends. We both know that if I muster up the courage to leave him standing up here, come tomorrow either I will have asked for a new partner, or he will have asked for a transfer.
"You can't give me what I want, Elliot!" I answer him, my heart is doing the talking, my brain got lost around the time he asked if I only protected him because it was my job.
"Why?" he's pleading with me, I don't think he realizes that I'm not actually gonna leave him now. "What do you want Liv?"
I have to be honest. It's time to drop my shield and show him how I feel.
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I promise you
For you I will
"You," is the one word I utter.
I hear his sigh and look at the ground again. I blew any reconciliation chances we might have had. I hear steady footsteps and I raise my head to see him walking towards me. He ignores his jacket, which is still lying on the dirty concrete; instead he reaches for me and pulls me against him. I involuntarily relax into his chest and wrap my arms around his neck, clinging to the one time this will ever happen.
"Thank God," I hear his whisper into my hair, "For a second I thought you were going to ask for Munch!"
I give him an incredulous look, then a small smile. I hope to the Universal Being that I don't believe in, that he is saying what I think he is saying.
He ducks his head slowly towards mine and presses his lips softly to mine. The kiss is sweet, but I am too shocked to react until I feel his start to pull away. I am not going to let my stupidly, slow reflexes ruin the most perfect moment of my life. I pull his closer to me and kiss him back.
I promise you
For you I will (I will)
I promise you
For you I will
The End…
