Theodore Nott kills Draco Malfoy ALOT

"Hey Nott what's that thing in your hand?" asks Draco

BANG!

"It's a GUN, Malfoy! Of course this piece of information would probably mean a lot more to you if you didn't have that rather large hole in your head. You see Malfoy theirs an important lesson to be learned here. Guns don't kill people. People with guns kill people." Nott answered

The scene changes in a flash. Draco is no longer lying on the floor dead but strapped down in a strange looking chair. There are restraints on his arms, chest and legs holding him down tightly. And a rather uncomfortable hat is secured around his freshly shaven head. Theodore Nott is now standing by a rather ominous looking switch.

"Hey Nott why am I strapped in here and soaking wet?" Draco ask just as Nott flips the switch. Sparks fly in all directions, light blink on and off rapidly, and Malfoy jerks and twitches in tremendous pain. Theodore flips the switch back and Draco twitches no more.

"Well, it's an electric chair Draco and it works better with a proper current!" Nott answered

The scenes change and the questions change but the end result is always the same.

"Nott, why is that pendulum swinging dangerously close to my tied down frame?"

"Nott, why am I being pushed through a meat grinder?"

"Nott, why has my skin been ripped off and why am I being dumped onto a mountain of salt?"

"Nott, why am I being forced to listen to a fat ugly alien's poetry till my brain explodes?"

"Nott, why is that strange man eating my brains while I'm still alive?"

"Nott, why are cutting my heart out with a spoon?"

(We all know the answer to that one.)

Many times over Draco died at the hands of Theodore Nott and Draco Malfoy kept on asking stupid question right before he died. Though Nott's favorite was the last one.

"Nott, why am I strapped to this harness bent over with my buttocks exposed?"

"Because there is a very horny and very naked mountain troll right behind you that's going to buggar you to death."

Suddenly reality crept back in as he could hear Slughorn asking more questions. Theodore Nott was sitting in between Daphne Greengrass and Draco Malfoy. It was his first potions class of his sixth year of Hogwarts and he couldn't help but let out a snigger.

"What Malfoy said wasn't that funny." Daphne snapped in a whisper to Nott.

"Oh everything Draco said was funny as hell Daph, trust me." Theodore whispered back

THE END

PS

So all my man Nott got was a snigger. It should have been for a good reason at least.