Cursing his distraction at rock, paper, scissors, Street stashed away the last piece of fancy equipment 20-David had used during this endless shift. Otherwise, he would already be headed home.

Chase after chase, interview after interview, and shooting after shooting, Street had been sharp and on-point, just as every one of his teammates. And not just because Hondo was keeping an extra eye on him lately, not even making a mistake of it and the reason why. Street kept his game up because lives depended on it. Because he wanted everyone to go home safe and sound, including himself.

He'd rather be safe and sound at home now. Downtime after downtime during the shift—though they had little today—only one thing had been on Street's mind. Only one person.

The random emoji-filled texts, funny memes, and cute pictures Zee regularly sent as proof that she was more than okay, comfortable home alone with the overactive Jamie, were not enough for him. Street needed to see it with his own eyes. Needed to be there with her. With them. Their time was too precious, and his heart fuller and bigger when they were all together.

"Hope you cleaned everything up and right, Street," Backer said, crossing him on the armory's threshold.

"Got a lot of practice at being at the bottom of the chain," Street said confidently while Backer's team ran off. "Stay liquid," he called after them.

20-Squad had done his job. Well. Spotless. This new call was for another team, and Street could finally relax and go home. Ignore the sideways looks his colleagues had occasionally been throwing him for the last few days. Yes, he'd been distracted during rock, paper, scissors, and that's why Tan had beat him so easily this time, but that was all. When it happened, he'd already been technically off-duty and immediately put his head back into checking the equipment before turning his brain off again.

And now he was justifying himself to himself. Can't be good, Street thought. He'd been able to balance his work and personal life just fine so far, smoothly, but maybe in a few weeks, he would have to rethink his priorities and—

Street paused with one foot in the locker room, which seemed coated by a blanket of silence. His shoulders only slightly relaxed when no one gave him a second look. This was a kind of exhausted quiet hovering in the air, not the calm before the storm. His teammates weren't staging some sort of 'intervention' for him like Street had feared since he'd busted Luca, Tan, and Chris having a secret meeting in the kitchen a few days prior.

Since that day, conversations had steered toward awkwardness with almost everyone on SWAT. Luca spilling the beans about meeting Zee and Jamie had even earned him a couple of strange looks from the commander, making Street wonder what that hyper-active brain his housemate possessed had cooked up and spread after their shared evening. Whatever it was, Street could handle it. He had done nothing wrong.

Not yet, a small voice in some corner of Street's brain called out. He shut it down, just to be hit by a pang of guilt at the center of his chest. Maybe he had already done something wrong indeed, with all this secrecy, all this being voluntarily cryptic and closed-off.

And now there was something else hovering in the air, some other kind of conversation Street wasn't sure he could handle yet. If ever.

His fears grew more tangible as half the team was ready to leave, fulfilled but beat. Some of them, him included for once, were headed to the safety and warmth of their house and their better halves, and they couldn't wait.

Breaking the silence, Hondo said his goodbyes and headed out. Tan followed immediately, but not before turning to Street, pleading with him to answer Bonnie's texts.

The happily married couple pestering him for a double date had been the first unexpected consequence of Zee's identity being exposed to Luca that evening—hence to the whole HQ the morning after. Not that Street had not expected Tan to ask and try to include Zee in their group like they'd included Molly back when. What he had not predicted was Bonnie knowing Zee as Mackenzie Miller and wanting to meet her as a fan.

Until now, Street had been able to dodge the matter, not even asking Zee how she felt about it all. He didn't want her to feel obliged to agree, maybe show off for his sake. But now he watched Tan's back disappear out the door and exhaled deeply. He was torn between jumping back into an easy and normal routine with friends and sticking to the plan he and Zee had agreed on from the start. Privacy. Intimacy. Making every minute count.

Nothing here was normal. Nothing easy. And nothing would be private for too long, either.

"I'm out, too," Deacon announced to the almost empty room, but before actually heading out, he leaned close to Street. "Annie and Lila wanted me to tell you the offer will stay on the table indefinitely. For when you guys are ready."

Second unexpected consequence of the improvised barbecue with Luca. Jamie's existence coming out.

Street held back a sigh, faking a smile. "I'll tell Zee. Thank Annie for us," he answered, when in all truth, he would have wanted to say, 'Tell Annie to mind her own business.' But that wouldn't have been fair.

A play date for Jamie with Deacon's kids would be positive for the little girl. Street had been the new kid at school enough times during foster care to know it sucked. Jamie was sweet and easygoing but also shy and fragile. The chance of making new friendships here in LA, aside from the connection with her estranged cousins, would be great for her. But that would also mean Zee meeting Annie and spending time with her. The women would click immediately, Street was sure of it. Almost feared it. But his girlfriend needed a strong friendship as much as Jamie did. Maybe it was Street the one who wasn't ready for that…

The silence fell again, and Street realized with a wince that every time Hondo, Tan, and Deacon had opened the door to get out one by one, cold had seeped into the room.

It was only Luca and Chris here now, and Street couldn't button up his plaid shirt fast enough. He needed to be home. To be with Zee and Jamie. And he needed to escape the dreaded moment of being alone with Chris for the first time since the gossip had started spreading. If only she could leave before Luca… Street could handle a conversation with him. He had done that through the last few days when for one reason or the other, any attempt to discuss Zee and Jamie had been cut short. All he knew was that Luca adored his girls, and that was enough fuel for Street to dodge any awkward question. But with Chris…

At every button slid in place, he begged Luca to take his sweet time. Prayed for some other team to wander in and make some loud joke, whine about something or the other, or tease him openly but playfully. Anything would be better than this silence, better than the loaded looks Chris failed to hold back, even burying her head into her locker. Maybe she was ready to go?

No such luck.

Luca was out the door in a rush, late for whatever he had to do. What a terrible friend and teammate he was proving to be, Street scolded himself. He hadn't even bothered to keep in mind what Luca had so excitedly told him about a few hours prior.

Street took a deep breath, the last button of the shirt settled. The silence grew thicker around him, like fog swallowing everything, making it hard to see, to hear, to feel.

It wasn't planned for his two words to collide this weirdly and clumsily. And not this soon, either. Making Zee an official part of the SWAT family definitely wasn't planned at all. That's what they'd decided, didn't they? That for the time she was with him, she would be his and his only. No sharing. It was easier that way.

Easier for everyone.

Except Luca had pierced that bubble and tiptoed into this parallel word. He'd breached into Jamie's heart, and taking it away from her would simply be cruel.

But what to do now? Street didn't want to make a public declaration just to quiet his friends' souls. Couldn't ease the pressure of sideways looks, concerned glances, and arched brows anyway. And even if everyone seemed open and eager, why should it be anybody's business?

But it was. Because SWAT is a nosy family.

The deafening silence in the locker room reminded Street of the painful truth that maybe not everyone in his SWAT family was ready to be all that welcoming. He tried to gather up his things as fast as he could, but as soon as Luca had closed the door behind his back, it had been clear there was no escaping this dreaded conversation.

"What do you think you're doing?" Chris slammed her locker closed and faced Street at last. Dang. He'd been so close to making it.

He schooled his features in his most innocent face. "Getting ready to go and hit the sack. It has been quite a day, you know?"

Chris didn't budge. "What are you doing with that woman and her kid?" Her jaw set while her stormy eyes bored into him. "Are you really thinking about settling with them?"

"Settling?" This had caught Street by surprise. Even more so the big 'yes' that had exploded in his chest and that he'd barely managed not to yell out. It was all doomed anyway. His chest deflated, Chris had just struck a blow he hadn't seen coming, and it wasn't even her fault.

"Is Zee that different?"

"Different from who?" Street's heart sank, his head spinning, his voice shaking.

Was that jealousy or concern? What hell of a timing! He'd given Chris plenty of opportunities to come clean with her feelings, and now that Zee was back in his life, now that his first love needed him more than ever, she came up like this? But he couldn't judge the timing. He could only curse against fate.

Chris's eyes darkened with anger, but it was just her automatic cover-up for deeper, buried feelings; Street could tell that much. Knew her that well. But he didn't expect her to say the following words.

"We both know the real reason you broke up with Molly."

Low blow. Street's stomach dropped several inches. Teases from playful friends he could handle, but this from Chris?

"Is she that different?" Pain crossed Chris's face for a fraction of a second, and Street's stomach finished its drop all the way down to his feet. Was that a flash of guilt, too, or was he only mirroring his own remorse in her set look?

Street wanted to retort in kind, his own cover-up anger mounting in him, but he could barely breathe, barely think.

"Do you really think you love her, or you're sticking with her just because of the little girl?

Enough is enough. Questioning his feelings for Zee, given their history, giving the mess they were, the mistakes Chris and Street both made—most of all, he'd made—was one thing. Bringing the angel girl into this dirty fight was another.

"Leave Jamie out of this," he said through gritted teeth.

"If that's the case, you're not doing anyone involved a favor. Especially your kid."

Those words hit Street like a punch to the solar plexus. Of course, this was the rumor spreading around. They were not talking about how Zee made him a better man. Not how great she was, and not even that she was famous. They were not spreading around that Zee's daughter was smart and sweet, nor how incredibly lucky he'd been she'd entered his life.

The spreading rumors were about his ability to handle a family fallen from heaven. They were speculating about little, precious Jamie's paternity. Spreading gossip.

This wasn't fair to his girls.

Maybe he had his faults, what with the secrecy and all…but no, they should just leave them alone.

"Unbelievable," Street scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. Why did he have to defend himself about this?

But Chris jumped at his throat again before he could form an answer. "If you're not being true to yourself and to them, and if you're playing family with them because you don't want to be on your own after—"

"That's enough," Street warned, dropping his arms at his sides. His voice had come out flatter than he thought he could manage since his blood was roaring in his ears. "This is none of your business, Chris." The air sizzled with tension. His head was spinning, and his hands started to shake. "You have no rights to—"

"I'm just worried about you."

"Well, just don't be then." Street heaved a deep breath, clutching his hands into fists at his sides. "You don't know what you're talking about, okay?" Frustration surged through him. She hadn't bothered to ask, true, but would he have told her the truth if she had?

Chris shook her head. "I might not know anything about what's going on with you, but you don't know what you're doing either."

Street cringed, holding her firm gaze. He knew what he was doing all right, but he couldn't explain it to Chris or anyone else on the team. He needed to keep some things hushed, at least for a little longer. What could he say now to cut through the thick fog of tension they were breathing?

"What I know is that I love Zee," Street said earnestly. "I'm not thinking I love her. I do. This is not some phantom of the past. This is real and stronger than ever." How hard it was to admit that much to Chris. As hard as it had been to tell Zee about the mess still lingering between him and Chris. "I'm not fooling myself into believing this is the best I can get because I can't get something else. Someone else." He hesitated. Was this too much? Was this realization gonna haunt them both for longer than he could even fathom? But he had to continue, to make this as right as he could. "I know Zee is the one I need to be with. And I know she loves me back. With all her heart."

Chris swallowed, her silence heavy. Maybe he'd stroke a low blow as well. She'd always refused to tell him how she felt for him, and for heaven's sake, this was not the time to finally admit what had been loud and clear though lurking in the shadows behind her eyes. He just couldn't take it with what was going on with Zee. Not that Chris seemed the least intentioned of going all touchy feelings now, anyway.

Street huffed a weak laugh. "I don't have to justify myself to you, but so you know, Zee and I had been completely honest with each other from the second she'd been back in my life. There is nothing unsaid between us."

"Are you sure about that?" Chris said dryly.

Yes, he was. But would she understand even if he tried to explain? Street knew it in his bones. He knew in his gut and heart that Zee had always been sincere with him. Okay, maybe she didn't only want him, she also needed him. But Zee was not his manipulative, always-asking-never-giving mother. This was a mutual exchange. She gave him so much, and he didn't feel obliged to take care of her and Jamie. That came as naturally as breathing.

And Street couldn't have been more earnest with Zee either. He even told her about his relationship with Molly—from start to end, back when he'd momentarily fooled himself into believing his affection for the Commander's daughter could be stronger than what churned deep inside him thinking about Chris. The feelings for Molly had been genuine, but he didn't Love her, and it hadn't been fair to her denying the truth for so long just because he'd felt safe and had feared loneliness.

With Zee, it was simply different. She understood the different kinds of love that cohabited his mingled heart, and there was no feigning or holding back. Ever.

I'm sure because we talk. Really talk, Street had been so close to saying, but didn't. He just shook his head and blew out a sight, suddenly aware of the dead silence hovering in the locker room once again. He couldn't explain anything of this to Chris. Not right now, despite him dying to. Dying to have his best friend back. But he wouldn't betray Zee like this. She was his whole world for as long as they were allowed to be together.

Chris's hard stare bore into Street, but she didn't press the matter further, just held her ground and his gaze.

"Drop it, Chris. Please," he said at last, shouldering his backpack and pushing the door open without looking back.

Street's heart was broken. His soul was ripped. He pressed the bridge of his nose with two fingers, trying to fight the splitting headache that was inexorably building up there. Only a few times in his life he'd felt as helpless as now.

Moments later, Chris's truck glided past Street while he collected his thoughts before hopping on his bike. He forced himself not to peek inside, but he could feel her gaze on him all the same, a shiver crossing his whole body. He missed Chris's friendship more than ever, missed their connection, how they could usually understand each other on a deeper level.

Street hopped on the bike and sped on. He needed Zee. She always knew how to calm him.

-o- -o- -o-