(This chapter gets pretty long but that's only because Leo gets a little long winded here. Most everyone figured out everything he's going to say by now, but remember Ren is only 9 so he kinda needed Leo to lay it all out for him. For those of you who have said Leo would never go against his master like this, I give you two things. One: Leo may have tried to be the perfect son but when love presents itself to you, even if it indeed turns out to be a lie, you just have to go for it. And Two: I dare say that as a parent Leo would do anything and I mean anything to protect his son. And no Rein...I would never kill off Leo...at least not without good reason))

I couldn't have said a word if I wanted to-not that I had a clue what to say in the first place. I just stared up at him waiting for him to end my life. But Raphael didn't say a word either. He just grabbed the back of my shirt collar, spun me around and half carried, half dragged me into the kitchen. Mike and my dad both looked up as Raph dropped me at my dad's feet.

"I can believe that your senses have been dulled to shit, Leo," Raphael said coldly and then glared at Mike. "But how the hell didn't you know he was out there?"

Mike muttered something I couldn't hear but my dad just looked at him in shock. "What did you say?" Dad demanded.

Mike sighed. "I said I knew he was out there."

That simple confession stunned everyone in the room into silence. Dad was the first to find his voice but when he started to speak, he still didn't know what to say. He sounded betrayed. "Mike."

"Don't Leo, "Mike interrupted sounding more serious than I had ever heard him. He sounded almost angry. "Yeah, I know. Death before dishonor and all that, but I don't wanna lose my brother when I just got him back. And besides that, Ren needs you. If you're not gonna listen to me, maybe you'll listen to him."

Again my dad was speechless but from my spot on the floor I was getting frustrated and scared. If we stayed here much longer, I knew that my dad was going to die and I would be alone. Denial is a wonderful thing. I forced myself to believe that the only reason our lives were in danger was because we had run away. If we just went back, everything would return to normal. "Dad, let's just go home," I pleaded. "Mom'll forgive us. And she'll get those guys to back off."

I heard Raphael growl a little. I looked up at him, but he wasn't glaring at me, he was glaring at my dad. "Tell him," he ordered. "Tell him now. Tell him everything."

My dad hesitated and I stood up. "I don't care!" I yelled and for the first time since this whole thing started I really didn't. And I didn't even pay attention when my father stood up and warned me to keep my voice down.

"I just wanna go home. I don't care about what happened before I was born. I don't care about any blood feud or ninja war. And I sure the hell don't care about Splinter and whatever stupid training that you're trying to shove down my throat." As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I went too far. I wasn't about to look at Raphael, but I saw Mike wince as if someone had hit him and my dad's face darkened in anger. I cringed and closed my eyes certain that he was going to slap me in the face for the first time in my life.

But the blow never came. I opened my eyes and was shocked to see Raphael with a grip on my dad's wrist. Their eyes were locked in a silent battle and for a few moments neither one moved. Then, Raphael spoke slowly and dangerously. I watched them not understanding what was said and I vowed to learn Japanese one day soon. Whatever Raphael said came like a physical blow to my father and he flinched before he looked away.

Through all this I was trying to figure out why Raphael had protected me. He never showed me any kind of sympathy before, why should he care now if my dad slapped me. Even I knew I would have deserved it. Maybe he didn't believe in hitting kids. But pinning them to the ground with a dagger was ok. Yeah, just the kind of screwed up logic I would expect from Raphael.

Raphael finally let go of his wrist. "6 am, Leo. I'm sure you remember where the dojo is, even if you don't remember what it's for. If you're still alive tomorrow, you better damn well be there. And don't bother thanking me. It sure the hell wasn't my idea." He turned and stormed out of the kitchen without another word.

Mike stood up and whispered. "It may not be absolution, Leo, but it's a start. I'll see ya in the morning. Night Ren" He walked out leaving my father and me alone. He was staring out the door with a confused expression, but he said nothing.

I looked down at the floor wondering what was going to happen now that Raphael and Mike had left. "I'm sorry," I muttered deciding to break the silence. Better to say it now and maybe just maybe shorten the lecture a little. Once my dad got started he never seemed to quit. It was already the middle of the night and I had no desire to stand here until dawn.

There was silence again before I heard my dad sigh heavily. "Sit down, Ren."

I sat down reluctantly and drew circles with my finger on the table. Dad sat next to me. "It's ok, Ren. Please look at me. I promise, I'm not angry."

I looked up at him hesitantly and was surprised that he didn't look angry. He just looked tired and very unhappy. I felt tears sting the back of my eyes and I blinked to clear them. There was never a time in my life that I felt my father wasn't there for me if I needed him. There was never a time I even imagined that he would abandon me. "Why?" I choked out. "And don't tell me I wouldn't understand. Cause I already know I don't."

My father looked away. "I know. I'm sorry you heard that, Ren."

I was beyond shocked. "You're sorry I heard, but not sorry you said it, right? You were gonna go and kill yourself and leave me with people who you know don't like me?" I waited for him to argue with me that no one likes me, but he didn't. I knew it wasn't true and so did he. And even if it was true, that wasn't the point.

"Well, I won't," I continued almost defiantly. When he didn't stop me I kept going. "I won't stay here. They can't watch me every second. I'll run away and find mom. I bet she'd never abandon me." I didn't know if I would have the nerve to carry through with that threat, but the stunned look he gave me was all I needed to know I convinced him that it was a possibility.

He shook his head. "You don't know what you're saying. Good god Raphael was right." He knelt down in front of me and gripped my arms. Almost desperately, he said. "You have every right to be angry for what you heard, but you can't..." He broke off and looked away. When he met my eyes again, he was more in control. "I give you my word, Ren, that I will not abandon you. Your life has always been worth my honor." His voice grew stern and his expression hardened. "But you have to give me your word, that you will never threaten me like that again. No matter what."

I studied him for a moment. I'd have promised him my right arm to get him to stop looking at me like that. But I was still so confused. Honor? I didn't get it. I'd heard that word more in the last couple of days than I had in my whole life. I thought I knew what it meant. But my definition of the word was nothing to kill yourself over. I filed it away as one more "clan thing" that I would learn eventually. "I promise," I said finally.

My father sighed and smiled a little. "Thank you." And before I could say anything, he stood up. "Come on, get your coat and shoes. We're going for a walk."

We went back down through the parking garage and out into the street. I followed my father closely still remembering Raphael's words. They don't wanna take you, they wanna kill you. I wasn't quite sure I believed that statement, considering the source. I wasn't about to take anything Raphael said at face value, but those guys from earlier this evening sure were plenty ticked off. I didn't want to take chances right now.

"Where are we going, Dad?" I asked. He didn't answer. He just raised his finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet and lead me into an alley. I looked around, half expecting one of the dark shadows to jump out at us. Even with Raphael there, I was beginning to think I would be safer in the apartment. I was about to ask my dad if we could go back, but he was kneeling on the ground taking a cover from a manhole.

"What.?" I began.

He cut me off. "There's a ladder here," he whispered. "Take it to the bottom and wait for me." More than a little puzzled, I did what he asked and went into the sewers. The smell was overwhelming and I had to put a hand over my mouth and nose. Nevertheless, I couldn't keep from gagging. I looked up for my father and saw him start to climb down the ladder. He pulled the lid back into place and dropped down beside me.

He took my hand and we walked down the tunnel. "Dad," I gasped, trying to keep the smell from making me throw up. "Where are we going? Why are we in a sewer?"

My dad kept his voice low, but his words seemed to echo off the walls. "It happened almost thirty years ago. Across town in a small apartment, a Japanese immigrant and his wife were killed." He glanced at me, and I could tell he was checking my reaction. I don't know if he was surprised, but that bit of news didn't really phase me. I'd seen news reports almost everyday about people being killed. Why should I be shocked that these people were killed? It happened twenty years before I was even born.

Dad faced forward again and continued. "The immigrant's name was Yoshi and he brought his wife and pet here to America to escape a feud between his family and another. But the only one to escape was his pet. A rat named Splinter."

Now came my shock. This wasn't just a story to pass some time while we walked. He was finally answering some questions and he was starting at the beginning. I couldn't count the number of times in my life I asked my dad where he came from. But the question was always answered the same way. He was raised in New York. Anything else was either unimportant or had to wait until I was older.

I waited for my dad to continue, but he stopped walking and stood facing a wall. It didn't look any different than the rest of the walls of the tunnel, but he ran a finger down on spot and pulled open a very carefully camouflaged door. He stepped through the door and I followed.

It was like walking from one world into another as I stood in the middle of someone's living room. The couch across the room was old and worn, but it was clean and looked fairly comfortable. There was a coffee table and an end table next to the couch. A television sat in the corner. I turned to my dad. "What is this place?"

He had a faraway look in his eyes and the slightest hint of a smile. "This is where I used to live," he said quietly. "With your uncles and Splinter."

I looked around the room again. Small pictures hung on the wall as well as scrolls with Japanese writing on them. "You grew up here? In the sewer?"

My dad nodded a little. "Yeah, well, we came here to live when I was about fourteen. There's another lair a few miles away, but we had to leave that one when it was discovered. You see, Ren, when Splinter first found us we were all ordinary turtles, and some kind of.substance mutated all of us. But we were still so different from the human world. We had no choice but to live underground."

His arm circled around my shoulder and drew me closer to him. "Here, let me show you something." He led me over to the coffee table and flipped it over gently. His hand brushed against the wood a little as he pointed something out. "We brought this table from the old lair. One of the few things that actually survived the battle."

I looked where he was pointing and saw the names of he and his brothers carefully carved into the wood. Dad chuckled. "See, Mike's name's first. He did it the very same day he learned to spell his name. And when the rest of us found out, we went ahead and carved our names. That way, no one could ever tell on the others." He righted the coffee table. "Splinter never did find out about it. It was like...our secret. Something that bonded us together." He laughed again. "It's not much now, but when we were five it was a big deal."

My dad's smile was infectious and I couldn't help but grin back at him. I'd never seen him act like this before. It was like he was a kid again. And for the first time, I was beginning to realize just what my dad's life must've been like when he was growing up. I looked down at his hands and then at mine. I had lived with it my whole life, but I was really seeing how different he and I were. I was able to walk outside without having to hide myself. I went to school. I had friends. All my father ever had was his brothers and Splinter. But then one day, he didn't have them.

As if he was reading my mind, my dad sighed heavily. He turned and walked down a small hallway. He didn't ask me to follow, but I did anyway, curious as to where he was going. At the end of the hallway was a big open room. My dad stood at the doorway, but didn't walk in. I stood beside him, and knew instantly what this room was. It was where they practiced. What did Raphael call it.a dojo?

"Oroku Saki was the man who killed Yoshi and his wife," my dad whispered. "We spent our whole lives training for the day we could avenge his death."

I kept my voice low to match his, but also to hide my shock. "You killed someone?" And then I remembered the fight before we came here. I was so scared at the time that I really hadn't considered it. I knew for a fact that some of those guys who attacked us were dead. They were killed by my father's hands as well as by my uncles'. For the first time, I was beginning to realize just how serious this whole blood feud was and just what kind of training that I was going to start in the morning. I wasn't sure I was ready to take someone's life, even defending my own.

"Yoshi and Shen were avenged," my dad said in answer to my question. I looked up at him. "But Saki's clan still remains." He closed his eyes as if he were in pain and exhaled slowly opening them again. "I was seventeen"

I looked up at him confused. I wasn't sure I heard right and even if I had, I didn't know what that had to do with anything. "What?"

He walked behind me and pulled me in towards his chest resting his chin on top of my head. We continued to look into the dojo, neither of us really focusing on the room. "I met your mom when I was seventeen. By the time I found out that her family had ties to the Foot Clan, I was already..." He chuckled a little but it sounded more sarcastic and nothing like the laughter from a few minutes before. "...deeply in love with her and I just didn't care. I had this Romeo and Juliet notion. I just thought..." He shook his head. "You will understand when you are older. Loneliness is a terrible thing and when someone comes along...well...sometimes you become blind to the obvious."

I kept my eyes on the room in front of me as I asked. "Did she love you so much too? That she just didn't care?" Somewhere deep inside, I suspected the answer before I even asked. All the conversations I had half heard and pieced together, my parent's relationship over the years---they all told me exactly what I needed to know. But I didn't want to see it. My world was already turned upside down in a matter of days. I didn't want to hear the horrible truth about my mother.

But my father was determined that I finally know and I heard his whispered response. "No, Ren. She was just using me. I'm not sure if they just wanted me to work for them...or if they got some sort of satisfaction from taking..." He sighed and kissed the top of my head gently. "But I wouldn't let them hurt my child."

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. My entire existence boiled down to nothing more than the bait for my mother to snare my father. How wonderful for me. And I couldn't help but wonder, why in the world my father felt it necessary to make me feel so worthless by telling me this. But even as I wondered, the answer hit me. I needed to choose sides. Just me suggesting that I wanted to go home was enough to scare my father into telling me what he tried so hard to keep from me. I wasn't some kid whose parents were about to get divorced. I was some kid whose parents were about to do battle. Over what? Some immigrant and his wife? And now twenty years later, here I stood, the next generation in a feud that I had no desire to be a part of. And what was worse is that I had a connection to both sides.

I felt the tears sting my eyes as I considered the relationship I had with my mother all these years. She wasn't exactly warm and loving. Actually, she was pretty reserved most of the time, but I never felt unloved. She was never mean or cruel to me. I just couldn't believe, even now, that I had been used by her. I couldn't believe that she used my father. There were two sides to every story and there had to be more to this one.