Chapter Twenty One
Mischievous Love
Card Captor Sakura
~starjade~
In Which Here-O's Emptiness
Leads to New Relationships
" Serena, go out with me."
" Her name is Sakura, doofus!"
" Sakura Doofus, please go out with me."
" ONLY SAKURA, NOT DOOFUS!"
" Ohhhh! Okay, I got it, I got it. Sakura. Go out-Aw, I forgot the rest."
Eriol slapped his palm to his forehead, clenching his jaw hard. Syaoran looked like he was about to throttle somebody and Hiiro, or Here-O, as we should probably refer to him as, looked blank as always. How he managed to get so many girls still remains a wonder to the male population of Hong Kong.
Eriol slowly walked up to Hiiro, his glasses flashing. When his glasses flashed, you'd better be scared. Glasses only flash when people are about to be evil-or if the sun is reflecting on it.
" You. Are. Going. To. Get. This. Right. Or. You. Will. Answer. To. This!"
" A picture of Syaoran in a tutu-"
" Shit, wrong one. THIS!"
He held up a picture. It was Hiiro-at a Barnie concert. Yes. Hiiro, the drop dead gorgeous god of all time-at a Barnie concert. His fingers were held up in a rock on sign as he sang I Love You with that big purple dinosaur-
" Nooooooooo!" Hiiro cried. " I didn't mean to! It was THE URGE , man!! THE URGE!"
Eriol patted Hiiro on his shoulder. " I know what you mean about urges."
Hiiro halted and stared at Eriol's hand on his shoulder. " Are-Are you, like, trying to hit on me or something?"
Eriol jumped away from him fast and pressed his fingers to his forehead. " Syaoran, take this case over. I don't think I can handle it anymore!"
A manly sob-well, as manly as Eriol could get, erupted from him and he ran to hid behind the tree and let out some manly tears-well, as manly as Eriol could get.
Hiiro looked up desperately at Syaoran. " You won't show that picture to anyone, will you? WILL YOU?"
" I won't if you get your hands off me!" Syaoran growled. Hiiro yanked his hands away and Syaoran sighed.
" Look, me and Eriol-well, we're cruel pranksters. Our joy lies in other people's pain. So we need you to co-operate. Now say after me. Sakura, I love you. I know Syaoran hurt you, but know that I will never hurt you. I think about you in every waking moment of the day and every moment at night. Your image is engraved in my mind and I need you, more than anything in this world. Please, please give me a chance to make you happy." Syaoran looked almost lost for a second, his expression dazed.
Hiiro just stared at him blankly. " Huh?"
Syaoran snapped out of his trance and growled. " Were you not taking notes?"
"All I got was I love you...You Love mee....we're a big-"
" I didn't even say that!!!"
" I must have been thinking that then."
" ARGGHHH!"
And Syaoran stomped off to indulge in manly mutters and poundings of the wall. Our two pranksters, deep in their own sorrow as they tried to spread their gift of pranks to the world and was received with such animosity. We sympathise. Oh, we truly do.
****
" Sakura come out," Tomoyo pleaded.
" No."
" Sakura, pllleeeaseee come out! Look, are you going to let the son of a monkey get to you like this? You're a strong woman! Just because he pranked you again without you getting your revenge does not mean you have to sulk like this!"
If only Tomoyo knew, Sakura thought angrily. If only she knew what happened...
Once again, her fingers went to touch her lips and she buried her face in her knees, wishing that she could erase what had happened yesterday night. Why did she fall once more for those burning amber eyes? Why did she think that he was being true when it was clear to anyone with eyes that he was playing another prank on her??
Tears burning her eyes, she rubbed them furiously. She couldn't go back to pranking him again. All she could do was avoid him...and get on with her life.
" Sakura, Syaoran's come to apologize!"
Sakura's eyes flew open with shock and she leapt towards the door, pulling it open. Tomoyo stood there, hands on her hips, staring at her with raised eyebrows.
" Well, well, well. We all know what turns this lady on, huh!" Tomoyo said slowly, wiggling her eyebrows faster than anyone could wiggle their eyebrows.
Sakura growled, " If you want to live, you'd better shut up right now."
Tomoyo stopped wiggling her eyebrows and grinned. " At least I got you talking! Come on, Sakura, lets go shopping, lets go to the movies, anything! Please!!"
Sakura sighed but then......that usually innocent face...got evil. Yes, everyone wonders how this could happen! Such an evil expression was unknown in Tomoeda, except for of course our two pranksters who were quite familiar with that expression. This evil expression made Tomoyo faint, windows shatter, teddy bears dying-
Yes, in case you haven't got the idea. It was evil.
Tomoyo quickly recovered and she said scared, " Sakura, what are you going to do?"
Sakura rose a shaking fist. " If Syaoran wants to play with MY emotions....well good golly gee, revenge is coming at you Syaoran! Expect the unexpected! I will PLAY with YOUR emotions-"
She stopped at turned to Tomoyo. " That doesn't sound evil enough. Give me a better slogan."
Tomoyo thought. " How about, I know you think Eriol is hott-"
" Get your mind out of the gutter, woman! Give me something better!"
" Prepare to get your heart crushed like a jelly bean under my foot?"
Sakura grinned (again, a teddy bear died) and tapped her fingertips together. " Exactly..."
*****************
We are in the scary mind of Hiiro.
Yes, we are. Prepare for mind boggling thoughts such as...
" I like cheese."
" That girl is cuttte!"
" I love cheese."
" I am so hotttt!"
" I want cheese!"
" He's trying to hit on me!!"
Oh god! The torture! The humanity! Even as we enter the intelligence of Hiiro, our dark haired, blue eyed god of handsomeness, we are awed by the emptiness of it all.
A dust ball floats by and we are surprised there is something in Hiiro's brain other than emptiness and a few dead cells.
Going on, Hiiro was walking towards Sakura's house. He was going there because a blue haired man asked him to. Also because of the fact that the blue haired man sorta kinda liked him and he knew it and he was really scared that this blue haired man would try to act on his feelings even though he made it totally clear he did not represent rainbows.
Walking down the sidewalk, we hear crackling at his ear and we realize that there is an earpiece in his ear. A voice comes through and in Hiiro's dim mind, a thought enters.
The blue haired man's boyfriend....
" Look, Hiiro, remember what to do. Walk the way we taught you. Talk the way we taught you. Keep those sunglasses on. And don't, I repeat, don't look at any other girls! Only Sakura! Got that?"
Hiiro nodded and rose a hand to his forehead in a mock salute. " Got it Rodger!"
" My name is Syaoran-"
" Rodger out! I am entering the premises," Hiiro said and giggled a bit. He knew a big word.
" Great. Did Sakura let you in?"
" Uh...."
" ABANDON MISSION! ABANDON MISSION! GET OUT!"
Hiiro stumbled out of the house and slammed the door shut. " What is it?"
" Ring the damned doorbell, doofus."
" But you told me her name was Sakura-"
" RING THE BELL!"
Hiiro rose a trembling finger to the doorbell and pushed it. He crouched quickly, ducking and raising his arms over his head. The suspense was killing him!
He heard thumps and he closed his eyes tightly. There was someone...on the other side of the door! The doorknob was jiggling, oh yes it was jiggling-oh god no! NO!
The door opened and it was like a harp suddenly strung up and a choir of angels began to sing.
The angel herself. Sakura Doofus.
" Hey, Sakura doofus!" Hiiro said in his best sexy accent.
Again, he heard the blue man's boyfriend. " Her name is ONLY Sakura!! NOT DOOFUS!"
" Got it Rodger!" Hiiro muttered.
Sakura's eyes had gone wide. " Doofus? Rodger?"
Hiiro laughed. " You make the best jokes!"
" That wasn't in the script!" Syaoran's annoying voice said over the earpiece.
A dead cell burst to life. There was a script!!!
" Sakura, you are so beautiful. Everyday, I thank god for giving me such a beautiful angel to take to the dance. I just wish...." He trailed off here, because in the script, it clearly said in pink letters ( why was the blue haired man using pink font??) trail off.
Sakura blushed and she said quietly, " What do you wish?"
Hiiro racked his one brain cell for the next response. " I wish that you and I...could be together forever. I yearn for you everyday, Sakura and it amazes me that you actually agreed to go with me to the dance. For such an angel as yourself, I would think I was unworthy of you-"
" Oh Hiiro!" Sakura interjected. "You're not unworthy!"
" Yes I am," Hiiro said, and willed a tear to slip down his cheek. " I am so unworthy..."
Syaoran's voice crackled to life, " Your laying it on a bit thick..."
Sakura rose a hand to wipe away his tear and a thought raced through his mind.
ACTION!!! YES!!!
Syaoran's annoying voice yelled, " Look, you talk, you leave! NO KISSY! Hiiro, are you listening to me??"
That script was working, Hiiro thought as he leaned into her touch. Sakura pulled away and said brightly, " Why don't you come in?"
Hiiro grinned. That was in the script!!! Result!!
" Sure, my sweet," Hiiro said, gentlemanly and stepped in. " This is a nice house."
" Thank you," Sakura replied. " You want some tea or maybe some soda?"
" Soda would be nice," Hiiro said, glad that the script made the choice for him. If it were really his choice, he would be stuck there for hours!
Syaoran's voice spoke, " Now walk cool. Look to the side, rub your chin, check your watch, fluff your clothes and then smirk at Sakura. It wouldn't hurt to hold your crotch too."
" MY WHAT?" Hiiro exclaimed.
Sakura blinked. " I was asking about your preference. Pepsi or coca-cola?"
" Uh-" Hiiro couldn't think! What a choice! His life depended on this choice! What would he pick?
" Just pick coke, would you?" Syaoran growled.
" Coke! COKE! YES COKE!" Hiiro yelled, absolutely triumphant.
Sakura blinked, shocked and then giggled. " Quite enthusiastic, aren't you?"
Hiiro then commenced his walk. Swagger swagger, rub chin, swagger swagger, check watch, swagger swagger, fluff out shirt, swagger swagger, SMIRK!
Sakura just looked him up and down. " Do you have constipation problems or something? Cause the way you're walking-"
" No!" Hiiro yelled. " Rodger, I need help!" He muttered.
Syaoran yelled, " I AM NOT RODGER, IDIOT, I AM SYAORAN LI, HEIR TO THE LI CLAN-"
God, I'm going to have to improvise, Hiiro thought frantically. What did I say to Mei Huang, Yuki, Julie and Sara?
Yes! He remembered! He was so smart!
" Sometimes, it feels like I have no one in this world..." Hiiro said, his voice laced with regret. " I feel as if....no one is there to hold me, to comfort me, to rock me to sleep when I'm afraid of nightmares. I'm not afraid to cry....but there is no one to cry with. No one to kiss me when I need to be loved. I just need someone...and at nights, when I look at the stars, I wish...I wish that someone would be you."
Sakura was gawking at him. Full out gawking. Her glass of coca-cola dropped to the ground and the glass shattered and Hiiro sent a quick prayer to the heavens above for the dead glass. A funeral would be nice right about now.
" Oh bloody-" Sakura cursed as she bent over to pick up the glass bits. Hiiro bent over and picked up her up, holding her by her shoulders.
" Mei-Ju-Yu-I mean, Sakura, please....just answer me. Can you be that someone? Will you be my girlfriend?"
Sakura's eyes were wildly looking around her, as if she was trying to figure out some sort of escape. Then a smile came upon her and in the back of his mind, Hiiro thought that the smile was a little bit evil. With the fact that a teddy bear had fallen down the stairs in a horrible death added to that thought as well.
Syaoran's voice was angry. " That wasn't in the script! Great, now she's going to fall for you! YOU IDIOT! If you dare kiss her, I will come after you and rip out your throat-no wait, I'm coming after you right now, don't you dare lay a hand on her or I'll break that hand in half, I'll shatter all your bones-"
As Syaoran ranted on and on, Sakura slowly nodded yes and leaned up to kiss Hiiro on the cheek. Syaoran apparently heard the kissing sound for he was going hysterical.
" YOU KISSED HER?? YOU BLOODY BASTARD, YOU JUST PUT THE LAST NAIL IN YOUR COFFIN, I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU DIE-"
Hiiro grinned. He was going out with eight girls now! What a record!
****************
" This is Eriol Growl Hiirigizawa, at your service. I am a tall, broad shouldered, navy haired man, with the most gorgeous eyes you've ever seen! Can't you see? Sometimes, I buy eyelash curlers-they work, don't they? And how about this shirt! Half price, only fifteen dollars-"
" Eriol!" Tomoyo shut the video camera off. " I agree to do one tape on you and you make it like some dating slash advertisement video and ugh, it's creeping me out!"
Eriol groaned. " I thought it was cool!"
" Well I didn't and who owns the video tape?"
" You do..."
" And if I ask you to jump, you'll say..."
" How high..."
" Great! Now, one two three ACTION!"
Eriol flipped his hair and sat languidly on the couch. " My name is Eriol Hiirigizawa and I am sexy beyond belief. Sixteen and single, ladies, oh yes, I am watching you-"
" SINGLE??" Tomoyo screeched.
Eriol said desperately, " You need to lie in showbiz sometimes-"
" That is it!" Tomoyo sat down in a huff. " I've had it with you!"
She sat there moodily and Eriol crept up to her and smiled. " How about I'm sexy beyond believe, sixteen ad taken, sorry ladies?"
Tomoyo gritted her teeth but couldn't help the smile that broke out. " Fine, fine fine! What I do for you, Eriol."
" I know!" Eriol said grinning.
" Oh my god, Eriol, did I tell you??" Tomoyo cried, happily. " Sakura and Hiiro are going out! She's finally gotten over that silly crush on your prankster in crime and has gotten together with her dark haired, blue eyed god of handsomeness-"
Eriol's eyes grew wide. " You don't......like him, do you?"
Tomoyo stared at Eriol and then giggled. " You're jealous!"
" No, I'm not!!" Eriol cried and then took out a picture and then tried to rip it. Giving up, he threw it on the table. " Laminated. Of course!"
Tomoyo picked up the picture and then burst out into laughter. " Hiiro? At a barnie concert? Oh goodness, this is a laugh! Hiiro has one heck of a playful side!"
Eriol whimpered. " I'm playful too!"
Tomoyo rose an eyebrow. " Uh huh. Look, Eriol, I got to go, Sakura is actually depressed about her decision to go out with Hiiro and she has some sort of evil look that is brutally murdering all my teddy bears-"
" Tomoyo! Don't leave!" Eriol cried out. He collapsed on the floor. " I'll die my hair black!! I'll get plastic surgery, ANYTHING!"
" I'm not breaking up with you!" Tomoyo said and rolled her eyes. " I heard the woman is supposed to be the emotional one in the relationship!"
" Well, we have a unique relationship! People think I'm queer, people think you're crazy-"
" Crazy?? WHAT?"
" Well, what sort of back up do they have on the accusation of me being queer?"
" Do you want that in alphabetical order or-"
" TOMOYO!"
And that is where we end this story. I would just like to say, no real teddy bears were killed in the making of this chapter and that Barnie concert was pretty exciting. Now because this chapter is ending, you won't see what Syaoran will think about this new relationship, or if Eriol would ever grow up or if there might be some substance to Hiiro OR what the Ultimate Plan actually is!! But you'll find out in the next, free of charge chapter of Mischievous Love!
a/n: lol, quite silly I know, but Hiiro and Sakura are going out right now! I wonder what Hiiro's seven other girlfriend's have to say about that! And the way Syaoran's reacting about all this- man, I wonder if he'll ruin this ultimate plan!
lol, aight, ppl, review! And that 'exactly' part of the story was from the Simpson's. lol, plleease review and tell me what ya think, aight?
see ya latez,
'nuff luv,
~starjade~
