Hullo Gentle Readers!
I'm back, and come bearing the gift of a fresh chapter! WOOO! Now, after this, I'm gonna need massive feedback on whether or not you want it to end like this. So, if you need another chapter to feel closure, you better review!
Alright, without further ado, here's chaper four of Sin!
Cause if you won't let me fall for you
Then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you
Instead you will be missing me when I go
Cause I'm bored of hanging out in your cold
- Dido
Harry looked out the window of the Transfiguration classroom and wished more than ever he could transfigure himself into a bird and fly away. The pain from the night before was still raw on his thoughts, making his eyes keep the redness from a sleepless night of sobbing. Harry hunched over and buried his nose in his parchment, frantically writing a sentence or two as Professor McGonagal passed. As she left he gave up the charade and went back to silently brooding.
Hermione and Ron had been gracious enough, or rather too involved in their own quarrels to even notice him, to allow him to be quiet. Either way, it was a most appreciated break. He knew they'd ask, it was only a matter of time. Sooner or later they, or someone else, would notice his puffy eyes, his awkward gait and his downcast eyes. But he couldn't help it. What Draco had said last night hurt, a lot.
Harry peeked through the curtain of pitch-black hair and stole a glance at the Slytherin. He was perched on his chair curiously, obviously trying to have it touch the least most of his bottom. Harry found some small satisfaction in this, but then a pang slashed at his heart.
He had to talk to him. He couldn't live like this, he just couldn't. It was madness.
So, as the bell sounded for the end of class, Harry craftfully slipped between the exiting students and snatched Draco's elbow. Yanking him intothe emptystorage cupboard,he shut the door behind his back and looked hard at the flustered blonde.
"What the bloody hell, Potter? You 'bout pulled my arm out of its socket," Draco complained, rubbing his stinging arm.
"I'm sorry, but we had to talk," Harry replied softly.
Draco nodded, shifting in his sore skin." I figured as much."
The two boys stood in silence, their eyes dancing every which way but at eachother. Draco knew he must say something, but what leapt from his mouth was the last thing he intended to say.
" Pansy Parkinson came to my bed last night."
Harry's eyes darted up, his lips going a little slack." What?"
"Yes, she came to me...We've been going out.. Didn't you know?" Draco went on, desperately trying to get his tongue to obey his mind.
Harry shook his head, speechless.
"Well, we are. We haven't done anything but, if I had wanted to, we could've slept together early this morning," The blonde was at a loss. He had no idea what he was doing! His words just kept tumbling recklessly out, and at each sentence he could see he was shredding Harry apart. But he couldn't stop himself...He..He just couldn't stop!
The stunned Gryffindor looked astray, gathering what was left of his wits and forced his voice steady," Are you...Do you love her?"
"Its not about love right now."
"What IS it about then?" Harry dared ask.
" What its always been about...Feeling good."
A choked cry escaped Harry's throat before he could swallow it down. Next thing he knew, Draco was sprawled out on the ground and Harry's fist stung like hell.
The stunned Slytherin looked up at him, seeing the fury and pain ignited in those deep emerald eyes. He cradled his burning cheek noticing how badly the brunette was trembling.
"What the hell!"
Harry shot him a venomous look and flung the door open. Draco scrambled to his feet and tore off after him. Harry was storming down the empty corridor, knowing lunch must've started by now. His footsteps echoed heavily in the silence and he heard a fresh pair join his. A hand grabbed at his robes and he felt all the anger, all the humiliation, all the hurt rise up in his cells and burst through his fists. Harry swung around and let his knuckles collide with Draco's reddening cheek once more. The blonde stumbled back, fighting between being angry or shocked.
"What's your problem, Potter!"
"WHAT'S MY PROBLEM?" Harry screamed incredulously, clenching his fists and shaking worse than before. "Its all about feeling good! That's all it is! That's all I was!"
Draco shook his head slightly, heavy with guilt. No, I-I didn't mean for it to go like this..Merlin, please, NO!" Harry, I..." He mumbled, reaching out once again for the furious Gryffindor's arm.
"Don't you fucking touch me!" Harry yelled, leaping back as if he were burned.
"Harry, please..." Draco pleaded, eyeing the few straggling groups of students pause at the end of the hall. Harry saw this, and Draco instantly regretted ever growing up a Malfoy who always knew someone was watching.
"Sod off, Malfoy," Harry spat, then spun on his heels and marched off.
He couldn't end it like this. He didn't want it to end at all! What was he doing? WHY was he doing this! Why couldn't the voice of his father just go the fuck AWAY!
Draco's desperate last attempt at touching the rampaging brunette resulted in him lying flat on his back, gasping for breath through a burning belly. Harry sprinted off, leaving the Slytherin and numerous curious students in the hallway, gaping in wonder.
And he deserved it...Draco Malfoy deserved to be struck by lightning and killed on the spot. He deserved for his father to find out what he had done and he deserved to be disowned for it. He deserved to never have anything as beautiful as Harry's eyes gaze upon him ever again. He deserved the wrath of the Gods, or a few enraged Gryffindors. He deserved to forever be a bloody coward in Harry's eyes. He deserved this god awful pain welling in his chest and he deserved to be destroyed by it...He deserved to be alone...He knew it. He knew it and he hated it.
Harry Potter was seventeen years old. He was a good student. He was popular, well liked and on his way to becoming a legend in the wizarding world. Harry Potter had no family, but he didn't care, there were plenty of Weasleys to go around. He had his future set and was on the verge of graduating.
Harry Potter was seventeen years old...Harry Potter was seventeen years old...
"And dating Cho Chang, the hottest girl in school."
Harry looked up as Ron settled back on his legs, still looking over Harry's shoulder.
"And I don't appreciate the part 'there were plenty of Weasleys to go around.' Makes it sound like you go through us like toilet paper," Ron said, adjusting his cloak beneath him.
Harry sighed and looked over his parchment, re-reading what he'd just wrote. It was Hermione's idea to begin with, making the two of them write down what they thought of themselves in some sort of therapeutic release of some sort. Harry thought it was all rubbish, but neither boy was brave enough to stand up to an angry Hermione.
"Well, there're so many of you, its like a bonus pack."
Ron cuffed him on the ear and looked at him defiantly," Prat."
Harry managed a smile and turned back to his writing. There was so much more he wished he could write, so much moreinside of him that just wouldn't fit on paper.But it was a secret he shared only with-
"Don't start, Harry," Ron said sharply.
"Don't start what?" Harry asked, puzzled.
"I can tell you were wandering again...It happened 2 weeks ago so, stop sulking."
The brunette exhaled and tossed the parchment aside, turning to face his best friend," I'm sorry. I can't help it sometimes...There was no closure, no warning...I was just.. LEFT."
"Hey, well, you got to punch him three times, I'd say that was some SERIOUS closure," Ron replied, reaching over to grab a Chocolate Frog and stuff it in his mouth.
"But its not enough..." Harry mumbled, staring down at his grey trousers.
"C'mon, Harry. Don't let what that bastard did to you tear you down...You've got alot going for you. You're going to Auror Training after graduation and you get to move out of the Dursleys' and take over Grimmlaud Place. I'd say that's ALOT to look forward to."
Harry shrugged, not convinced.
"Look, if Draco Malfoy was any kind of a human being, he would've stepped up to what he did and not spread rumors about it all like the coward he is...Putting that potion in your drink to make you have sex with Cho Chang, that was disgusting. I still say you should've gone to Dumbledore."
Harry looked up at the sky through his messy black locks. The stars winked at him from their velvety raven ocean.
Yeah...the rumor...he supposed Malfoy had started it, who else would've come up with something as atrocious as Harry Potter losing his virginity to Cho Chang in a potion-induced inebriation in asupply closet? But he wasn't any better...He ignored the rumor, which only fueled them to multiple, before he gave up and accepted them as the truth. The lie hurt less than the truth, and Cho didn't seem to mind in the least. Infact, she was shockingly eager to make the rumor a truth..And Malfoy...Draco pretended he didn't even exist. He looked straight through him whenever they passed in the halls, he stood as far away from him as he could in lines or in class. Once, they had accidently brushed wrists in Potions, and Draco had recoiled so quickly Harry thought he was made of acid. A pang shot across his heart and raped a tear from his eye.
"Just look at it this way, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...and by now...You're stronger than any giant, Harry Potter."
Harry looked over at his friend and smiled. Ron gave him a hearty hug, then wiped away his tear.
"You'll be ok, Harry. Me and Hermione will make sure of it," He said softly, peering into Harry's hurt green eyes.
Harry nodded letting Ron gather up their things and lead him away from the darkening yard of Hogwarts.
Ron led him away from his mistake, his secret, his burden...Harry Potter finally felt as if he could walk away from the Slytherin who had become his sin...
tbc..?
