Lost file: Corbin Love Sub-Rosa.
Chapter 4: The Clincher
For some reason the words caused her body to tense. She shrugged the effect off. They were just words. Like all words they could have one of hundreds of meanings. Jinx was probably-
Jinx was sitting on her bed in a room lit only by the TV staring directly into Raven's eyes with attention demanding sincerity. Alarms were going off in Raven's head now.
"I'm rather fond of you too-" Raven stated carefully.
"No!" Jinx interrupted. "I mean I love love you. Not as a friend..." She swallowed watching Raven as she prepared to drop the bomb. "But as...like...a soul mate."
The confession hit faster than lighting and was just as shocking. Raven's train of thought seemed to shut down if not derail, or both. She stood there, lips parted, eyes blank, staring at her best friend who had just completely changed shape.
The first thing Raven actually did was back away. The gesture startled Jinx. Raven was frightened of her! She was scaring the best friend she had ever had. Without thinking she reached for the fleeting form of her happiness that was Raven. In the dark the careless box spring reminded her of its presence when it caught her foot, causing her to stumble into Raven. They fell to the floor together.
The next thing Raven saw were those cotton candy pink eyes. Ones she had come to know well. They were inches from her now.
"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!" Jinx gushed like a punctured garden hose and scrambled off of Raven.
Raven sat up in the dark room trying to clear her whirling head. Jinx stood silently awaiting her judgment.
'Come on Raven! Get a grip,' the mage told herself. 'Ok. Now what just happened? She's a lesbian?'
"Raven..." Jinx's voice sounded so frail but to Raven's vertiginous state of mind it struck her like a whip.
"I-I need to think," Raven said, moving away from Jinx. An explosion of black energy replaced the girl. The magic itself soon faded into the shadows.
For a minute Jinx just stood there letting the realization wash over her.
"Yeah. I'd get away from me too if I could..." Jinx told herself. She felt like crying. She was sure she would. The look in Raven's eyes...it all hurt so badly, but no tears came. Jinx gave her weight to her box spring and retrieved her money clip. The clasp held a fist full of cash.
"Least I still got you. You don't care who I try to sleep with," Jinx said to the money. Her words were followed by sniffles. She wiped at her eyes and was disappointed to find fresh tears on the tips of her fingers.
"Noooo," Jinx groaned. "This is what I wanted. She's gone. Now I can...get back to business." Her words did not stop the small rivers running down her cheeks.
The black swath cut across the sky, its ending stroke leading to a sky scrapper. The solitude of the rooftop was disturbed by a troubled young half demon. Raven now stood atop the building. Her mind burned with questions.
"Why didn't I see this coming?" Where the fist words to leave her mouth. She cataloged her past experiences for any signs that this was going to happen. She could find nothing definitive, which meant she either wasn't as good at reading people as she thought or that Jinx was just very good at covering her motives.
"So what I have here is a situation," Raven said, her mind finally clearing. Her gaze rested on the city below as she thought. "Jinx thinks she's in love with me...or maybe she is in love with me, but I don't feel the same. So I'll just have to tell her." With that resolution came something else. Something rare for Raven. She tried to imagine Jinx's reaction.
Raven use to be considered brutal with her bluntness. Rest assured if things sucked she'd tell you they sucked. No icing. No fluff. No bull. Now she found herself considering tailoring her news for the sake of Jinx. Things sure had changed.
Raven sighed when the desire to let Jinx down easy didn't leave her as fast as it should have.
"Skating around the issue will only make it hurt more," she convinced herself.
Raven's attention was then taken by a strange sight in the sky. When her eyes caught the craft she blinked twice, certain she was seeing things. If she were not, then that was the T-Ship floating around miles above her head.
The ship was following a large yellow spotlight with a big letter "T" in the middle. The Light originated from the craft itself. They obviously wanted some attention.
"Very well," Raven said raising a hand high, all the while wondering who could be piloting it. Her first guess was Cyborg. He had been the one to evacuate the thing from Jump City before it was blown up anyway. He must have found out she was here after she defeated the giant moth.
From Raven's hand shot a stream of black light. Once high enough it exploded and became a large black bird. As expected, the ship noticed it and began to gravitate towards her position. What wasn't expected was the first person she saw in one of it's many cockpits.
"Room for one more!" Beast Boy cheered. His skin was green again and he was even in uniform.
"We were just talking about you girl," Cyborg called from his own cockpit.
"It is glorious to see you again, friend Raven," Starfire exclaimed appearing in the next cockpit that opened.
"Another city in need, but after watching the news I realize I don't need to tell you that," Robin said appearing in the lead cockpit. "Nice job on the moth Raven, but we were all hoping you weren't getting too attached to the solo gig," Robin said smiling.
Raven looked stupefied. Any other minute before now she could have been dwelling on how unlikely it was that she'd ever see them all together again and now here they were before her.
"I should have known a nuclear missal wouldn't keep you apart for long," Raven said shaking her head. A grin crept onto her features.
"Nicely put," Robin said grinning.
"You ready or what?" Beast Boy called to her. At that instant she started to leap for the craft but a thought restrained her.
"Robin, I need to talk to you first," Raven said plainly.
When the ex criminal awoke she couldn't remember where she was. She didn't even remember falling asleep. It was her apartment but with memories of last night washing over her even now she knew it would never look the same. It was no longer the drab but comfy nest she had spent countless hours with the only real friend she had had in a long time. It was now a crime scene. The place she managed to scare off even someone as strong willed as Raven.
"Guess I really am a freak. So there goes my shot and being a Girl Scout leader. So what? I'm glad she's gone," Jinx told herself as she sat up.
"I'm glad I know you well enough to know you don't mean what you just said," a voice broke the silence much like a brick meeting a window in the worst way. Jinx whirled to face the source with a start. Her heart began to pound against her chest.
"You-...You're back..." Jinx stammered looking Raven over, wondering how much of last night she remembered. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it all turned out to be a bad dream? Seeing Raven now...she almost wished she had simply kept her mouth shut and that they could go on the way they had been going.
"I said I needed time to think," Raven said frowning slightly.
Jinx blinked. Absently, she noted that Raven was in her Titan's uniform.
"Where'd you go...last night?" Jinx asked scratching her arm.
"Out. But only for an hour. When I came back you were asleep. I slept here and still woke up before you."
Jinx only half listened. Her mind was more absorbed with greater concerns.
"So... I disgust you, right?" Jinx asked but gave her gaze to her feet.
"Absolutely not." Raven said it so calmly Jinx thought she was being sarcastic for a moment. "Your sexual preference is harmless. The rest of humanity will realize that one day... you just caught me off guard yesterday. I apologize for my actions"
Jinx looked at Raven with astonishment written all over her face.
"But before you get the wrong idea I most tell you that while I do care for you, I do not care for you in the same way you were hoping."
Jinx's head dropped as she took this in. She had been rejected. And so calmly. So easily. It really hurt, but what could she do? This was Raven. This was the way Raven worked. Would she rather Raven run into the hills screaming and damning Jinx to whatever devils truly existed?
"Gosh, you sound so diplomatic about it..." Jinx sulked. 'Ok. Don't turn into a bitch now...' Jinx coached herself. 'I lose fair and square...' she hoped she wouldn't say something she'd regret under these harsh circumstances.
"I'm sorry," Raven told her. Her voice was tipped with sincerity. " I hope we can still be friends." Raven offered and watched for Jinx's response intently.
Jinx was silent for a long time and so Raven was patient for a long time.
'I freak'n lose! Again.' The words kept repeating in Jinx's head. 'And she still wants to be my friend...'
"Know what I hate about you?" Jinx's muffled voice reached Raven's ears. Her head was still down. "I can't stay mad at you for too long," Jinx said, raising her head and giving Raven a sad smile.
Raven smirked. "Hopefully I'll learn more about this trait in the days to come. Which brings me to out next topic. My friends are back Jinx."
Jinx's eyes doubled in size but she said nothing.
"We've just been given jurisdiction over Arizona. The Titans are back. For this reason I'm ..." Raven broke off to phrase what she wanted to say differently... "Listen Jinx. Robin is talking to the government. He's telling them how you helped me. He should be able to convince them to grant you a pardon if you cooperate," Raven said.
"Cooperate with the government?" Jinx said springing to her feet and looking offended. "No way Ravy. Me and authority figures do not get along."
"Jinx. You either claim the heroism you displayed several times in my presence or go back to jail," Raven told her firmly. "It's very likely you'll get probation and that a Titan will be in charge of you. With a little urging from our over-seers you could even become a Titan."
Jinx fell silent again, obviously weighing her options.
"And who said I wanted to become a Titan?" Jinx asked distantly.
"You would make a great Titan," Raven told her honestly.
A Titan? A Titan? Jinx couldn't wrap her head around the idea. Then Raven had to say it.
"Please Jinx. I don't want to arrest you."
Raven had just begged her. Modestly, but still begged Jinx to join her team.
From that point on things went better then anyone could have expected. Jinx was given a second chance. The Mayor was an ex-con himself a lifetime ago, as well as a Vietnam vet, and believed highly in the idea of Jinx trying to reform. The Titans themselves were also the subjects of second chances. They had failed the first city they had sworn to protect after all.
The Titan's less than glorious new base was in fact an old movie theater. To the dismay of the government officiated remodelers the teens were still arguing over the final design of the building. Starfire and Cyborg were attached to the original "T" shaped design. Robin felt that it was a reminder of their previous failure and should be forgotten. Beast Boy favored a new design that looked like a water park. Raven didn't care what it looked like as long as Beast Boy had nothing to do with the blueprint.
Jinx's second lease on life started out strict but she quickly earned the trust and respect of everyone involved in her reform.
It had seemed like a year but it had only been three weeks. The last major change was one that Raven would experience.
On a rare night the girls were the only ones in the base. At the insistence of Cyborg and Beast Boy one of the large cinema rooms had been left intact while the rest of the base would later become the super teams headquarters.
Jinx had dozed off during the movie and her head rested on Raven's shoulder. Since her confession, Jinx had made no mention of her attraction to Raven. Raven was well aware that the feelings were still there but Jinx had pushed them aside for the sake of their friendship and for that she was grateful. Only now, from time to time, she wondered why she wouldn't return them in the first place.
'Well,' Raven set out to explain her reasons to herself. 'I'm busy. We got lots to do, like...' Raven then drew a consecutive serious of blanks. The remodeling was in the hands of others who still didn't know what to do without an official blue print from the Titans. Unless the alarms were ringing she didn't have to do a damn thing. A need for meditation couldn't be blamed. It wasn't required for every waking hour she existed.
'...um...did I try...the fact that she's a girl?' Raven asked herself, running out of excuses. 'But I always fancied myself with a man,' Raven thought, her eyes trailing to the pink haired head resting on her shoulder. She had fancied it more than she was willing to admit. She was secretly flattered when she found herself the center of attention during her and Jinx's trip to the beach and was swarmed by males the entire time. She told herself that they were only interested in her body or that they were entertaining some fetish but she knew not all of them were. Jinx wasn't.
'So why am I even thinking about this again?' Raven wondered.
The debate continued in the back of Raven's head as she watched the old black and white movie. Soon new images burned in her mind. The movie was replaced with Raven and her possible lover. A soul mate. A kindred spiritSomeone enough like her and enough their own person that Raven wouldn't feel like she was talking to a mirror or a yes man-Or yes woman? Someone who could amuse her, comfort her, understand her and even get her goat sometimes. With a flinch she realized that person was sitting right next to her.
"Oh hell..." Raven said, shaking her head.
The epiphany didn't leave once the movie ended. In fact it never would.
"You want whipped cream on your pie?" Raven asked simply enough the following evening. Her friends were milling about what they called a kitchen but it looked like the snack bar portion of a movie theater lobby. Possibly because it was. Raven was removing several pies from an oven that had been installed.
"Whipped cream is only meant for the bedroom," Jinx commented flippantly, then continued a conversation with Beast Boy. Images flashed through Raven's mind that would make a liar of her if she dare said they were completely unwelcome.
"Earth to Raven!" Cyborg shouted down her poor ear. "I know pie is great. Like a work of art, but you have to let it go if we're going to eat any of it!"
Raven growled at him and surrendered the pie.
After the meal Jinx and Beast Boy started to play the Game-station A fight soon broke out over proper two player gaming ethics and was settled traditionally with a tickling match. The disturbing thing about tickling bouts to Raven was that the loser always looked like the one enjoying his or herself the most. In this case, it was Beast Boy who looked like he might laugh himself into a coma.
It was at this moment that Raven noted how close the two had become. They were like brother and sister. But since they were obviously not blood related their relationship was free to develop into something more. At present, this bothered Raven.
'I'm might as well not beat around the bush and just admit that...I'm concerned but it's not like I can tell her not to fall in love with anyone else because I may, or may not be in love with her The only real question is...am I in love with her' Raven said, retreating to her room.
Events were about to give Raven a hand in making up her mind.
Jinx hammered Raven's door like the building was on fire. She had a big cheeky grin ready once the owner slid the door open.
"What the hell do you want?" Raven asked. She looked like she had just lain down to rest before the interruption. She wore only her leotard.
"Greetings roomy!"
"Explanation?"
"I require someplace dry to sleep. Weren't you listening to me when I said there was a leak in my room?"
"...No... Why don't you ask Cyborg to fix it?"
"After today's battle? He's still recharging. I'll probably be asleep by the time he wakes up, if he even bothers to wake up at all tonight that is."
"Fine..." Raven said moving aside to let Jinx and her white, silk pajama garbed self in.
"Whoopie! Slumber party. Where do I sleep?"
"Eh...on the floor?" Raven suggested.
"I could do that...If I were sharing a room with a heartless, insensitive, half demon babe from below."
"And am I?"
"Just the babe part," Jinx said smugly hopping onto Raven's bed. "You've gotta hard, jagged shell but you're as soft as the Pills Bury Doough Boy on the inside."
"You're a very silly girl," Raven said closing the door and turning to her currently occupied bed.
"That book you mad me read really messed with my very silly head."
"I didn't make you read it."
"Actually I had read it before, but man. That pig kept working the poor girl and wouldn't feed her! It's like a metaphor for how men treat women right?" Jinx asked Raven.
Raven's expression fell blanker than usual as she tried to figure how Jinx came to this conclusion after reading Charlotte's Web.
"I'm kidding!" Jinx assured her.
"I can only hope," Raven said climbing on the bed and sitting beside Jinx. Raven sat silently trying to gage whether Jinx's showing up like this was a gift or an omen. Though she had protested she liked having Jinx in her room. It felt right. Should she tell her now? Let it all out? What did she have to lose?
"You still love me Jinx?" Raven finally forced the question from herself. The room suddenly became hotter. The mage realized she was actually nervous. 'I'll be damned if I'm going to back off now,' Raven vowed.
Jinx was startled speechless by the question. This was certainly the last thing she ever thought she'd find herself discussing tonight.
"Yeah...why?" she asked wide-eyed.
"I want to try to return those feelings," Raven said with earnest.
"Really?" Jinx short of gasped.
"Yes. Earlier... I simply hadn't ever considered looking that way. At girls I mean. It was shortsighted of me I guess..." Raven professed. Jinx was trapped by Raven's eyes, unable and unwilling to look away.
"Uh...Jinx? Is that a yes?"
"Eh? Huh? Hell yes!" Jinx boomed not ready to let the chance slip by. "Geeze... I had given up on you Ravy. Heartbreaker. So you'll be my girlfriend?" Raven's face was an inch from hers.
"I want to try," Raven cautioned pulling back, as excitement began to wash over her. She fought to remain natural
"What will we tell the others?"
"The truth," Raven answered pointedly, showing even now that she didn't care if they approved or now.
Jinx was consumed with so much joy and happiness she didn't know what to do with herself.
"At least now we've figured out the sleeping arrangements." Jinx's expression reflected puzzlement, but she soon learned what Raven meant. Jinx's body was pulled into a laying position by unseen forces that were Raven's doing. There, Raven wrapped her arms around Jinx as the navy blue comforter trapped them and the lights went out.
If simply having Jinx in her room felt right then having her in bed felt like a law. Her body was dowsed in warmth. She felt more alive now then ever before and she knew her friend felt the same way which seemed to increase the feelings ten fold. This was right.
The bliss was disturbed by a sniffling.
"What's wrong?" Raven asked, propping herself up on one arm and looking at Jinx.
"Don't look at me," Jinx said burring her face in the pillow.
"Jinx..." Raven's voice teetered on worry. Had she made a mistake?
"I'm so happy I'm...crying...ok?" Jinx voice was wretched between sobs. She apparently was not too proud of this fact. Raven was relieved.
"Sissy," Raven teased.
"Bitch," Jinx countered.
"I love you," the words bound from Raven like excess pollen from a bee's wings. They surprised her but she didn't mind.
"I love you too gorgeous," Jinx said looking up at her lover. She leaned up; her eyes were slaves to Raven's. Seconds after she pressed her lips against Raven's for a short but no less thrilling kiss.
End
Yes. It's over.
Someone should probably write about the actual relationship from this point on. Hmm... how about you? If anyone is interested e-mail me. Other wise I'm done here.
