The Anime Murder Files

Case No. 6 Sliced 'N' Diced Priestess

Investigating Detectives: Kaige and Flame (Expect to see both of us as the investigating detectives from now on. Otherwise we'd both go crazy from inactivity and create our own work. If you know what I mean. ^_^)

The Victim: Priestess of Seriyu, Yui Hongo. She was found in her home under suspicious circumstances. The initial officer on the scene is a dumbass who doesn't know murder from his ass. Good help is very hard to find.

The Suspects: Miaka Yuki- Her best friend had betrayed her in so many ways. In her hunger- crazed mind, who knows what goes on? Her intense hunger could have turned to revenge.

Tamahome (a.k.a. Taka in the real world)- Did he remember what actually happened in the book. Had Yui's treatment of Miaka angered him? Do dogs sniff their butts?

Chichiri (dragged into the real world by Kaige)- Had he slipped his short leash to kill? I seriously doubt it; but hey, I drink a lot. -_-;

Tasuki (dragged into the real world by Flame)- I guess you could just consider this the same as above, just change the names around or something. But hey, you really never know what those guys are capable of once Flame and I get drinking.

Nakago- Had he used Tomo's damn shell to get into the real world? Did he go after Yui to get revenge for not granting his last wish, to become a god. Nakago's clever enough to do it. ^_^

Tama- Is that damn cat haunting me for killing it? Is it trying to drive me crazy? Eh, what? Oh yeah, suspect for killing Yui. uhm. she looked at him funny? She bad-mouthed Mitsukake? She used his litter box? I don't know damn it! But if I have my way, that cat's dead!! DEAD YOU HEAR ME!! (A/N I don't actually hate Tama, but I find it amusing if I did, so bear with me please.)

Tetsuya- He's Yui's boyfriend. Need I say more? Oh, I do? -_-; Well, maybe he's jealous of all that attention she got from her Seriyu warriors. or that he didn't get a larger role in the story. Ooohhh, he got to catch a naked Yui from the air, read a book, drive his car. That'd piss me off.

The Setting: Kaige's apartment. In the aftermath of something you want to know nothing about. Wink, wink. ^_^

In the dead of night.

Kaige curled closer to Chichiri as a chill permeated the room. "Where's the blanket Chiri?" She asked while shaking his shoulder lightly. He moaned and glared lightly at her. "I was sleeping." He said mid-yawn, drawing out his words. She glared back and went in search of the blanket, searching blindly with her hands. Chiri yelped. "Don't grab that so hard!" She grinned sheepishly, though he couldn't see it. "Sorry."

The phone ringing stopped her search entirely. Chiri got to it before her, switching on a light as he answered. "Hello? Yes, she's here. A murder, I'll tell her." Kaige's eyes widened happily. Work! She jumped across the bed, glomping onto Chiri. "Work? Someone's dead? Tell me! Tell me now!" Chiri pulled back slightly from the fanatic gleam in her eyes. "Yes, yes, you have work. You're to meet Flame at Yui Hongo's apartment."

Before he finished his sentence, Kaige was haphazardly dressed and out the door. As an after-thought, she ran back and kissed him goodbye. "See you later, love." Not waiting for a reply, she left without turning back.

2 minutes and 53 seconds later.

Kaige stood huddled into her coat, waiting for Flame at the entrance to Yui's mother's apartment. The officer on the scene filling her in, which she'd force him to repeat as soon as Flame arrived. She grinned as she watched Tasuki drive up. He doesn't have a license nor many lessons in driving, but that didn't matter to Flame in the least. She was amused by his running over various garbage cans, animals, and people. Kaige glomped into her partner and friend's arm as soon as she stepped from the car. "I've been waiting for 2 minutes!! That damned officer wouldn't shut up."

Flame patted her arm. "It's all right, I'll shut him up for you." Flame pulled out her handy bat from the car and waved Tasuki off. "He'll get a taste of bat." The oblivious officer, still spouting facts, got a bat to the face; repeatedly. "Much better Flame-chan." They entered the building discussing the case. "They said Yui was found dead in her bedroom. She appears to have been sliced with something blunt, what it was hasn't been determined yet."

Upon entering the room, one thing was obvious; someone was very pissed off. Yui's blood covered every last inch of the room. "Damn, how much blood did that bitch have in her?" Kaige questioned off-hand. Flame shrugged. "A lot, hey, look at this." Flame pointed to a pair of broken sunglasses lying near the body. They were covered in a lot of gore, obviously the murder weapon. "Too bad you already killed that guy, I'd like to show him what the murder weapon was and." Kaige paused with an evil grin on her face. "Show him how Yui died."

Kaige stared blankly at the sunglasses for awhile. Something about them was oddly familiar. She just couldn't put her finger on what it was that bothered her so much. "Flame, do you recognize these?" Flame nodded. "Though I couldn't tell you who owns them." Kaige shook herself out of her reverie and bagged them. "Are the suspects here?" Flame nodded. "Out in the living room, want to play 'bad cop, good cop'?" Kaige shook her head, the ever present evil grin reappearing. "How about bad cop, evil cop?"

Flame shrugged and led the way out into the living room. Gathered there were, Tetsuya, Tamahome, Miaka, and a shell. Flame paused in mid-step. "We should have asked Tasuki to stay and Chiri to come." Kaige looked to her, slightly confused. "You think they could have done that," She stopped herself. "You're right, I'll go call them." Kaige went in search of a phone.

Flame looked from suspect to suspect, stopping on Tetsuya. He looked different somehow, maybe it was just how beautiful his eyes looked. Had she ever seen his eyes before? Such a wonderful shade of amber. "Tetsuya, you look different today, new shampoo?" (A/N No, neither Flame nor I are this oblivious in real life, but hey, Tetsuya's too hot to go down for murder.) Tetsuya's eyes widened in shock. "Uh, yeah, that's it. I got a new shampoo."

Kaige re-entered the room and immediately turned her eyes to Tetsuya as well. "Whatever it is, it sure makes you look different. Like your eyes are more noticeable some how." The room fell into an uneasy silence, only broken by the breathing of it's inhabitants. Flame and Kaige were both staring blankly into Tetsuya's eyes, as if they were being hypnotized. (A/N Thanks for the idea Hikaru-chan!)

The door bell rang, breaking the spell Tetsuya seemed to be weaving with his eyes. Kaige made to open it and glomped onto Chiri. "Hi, you're my suspect." She said in such a cheerful voice that everyone in the room was exasperated. Tasuki entered the room after him and Flame was across the room in a second. The questioning was forgotten for a few minutes until someone's crying seeped in. Flame looked around the room to find the source of it, Yui's mother.

"Why are you doing nothing to find my daughter's murderer." Yui's mother looked pointedly at Tetsuya, who glared angrily at her in return. "I think they're doing a wonderful job, please go on as you are." Kaige shook her head. "No, she's right. Take a seat, you hot, hot, sexy suspects." This comment actually made both of them blush and Flame grin. Miaka spoke up then. "Anyone have anything to eat?" All eyes turned to her in fear.

Kaige stepped forward, despite her obvious reluctance. "Did you kill Yui, Miaka? Did she withhold food from you? Did you slice and dice her to eat her?" Kaige was shaking the girl now, angry for no apparent reason other then her intense hatred for the Priestess of Suzaku. The shaking had rattled Miaka's brain far too hard. She was brain-dead. "Damn it! Oh well, she would have eaten her friend's remains had it been her." More sobbing filled the room and the heart-felt cry of "MIAKKKKKAAAA!"

Flame covered her ears as the shrill cry filled the room. Why'd he have to do that, Miaka was a useless, food crazed whore that had to die. She drew a katana from out of nowhere. (A/N This is know as the Heero Hole, but as to not confuse those who don't know about it, I will refrain from explaining.) The sword was soundless as it cut the mourning fool to pieces. The other's in the room were soon covered in blood. Kaige grinned happily at the death. "Good work, Flame-chan." Flame grinned evilly. "No problem, Kaige-chan."

Another wail from Yui's mother brought her death as well. "ANYONE ELSE WANT TO WAIL LIKE A BANSHEE, BECAUSE YOU CAN DIE JUST AS EASILY!!" Flame screamed. The other's shook their heads and remained as quiet as mice. In the quiet afterwards, Flame and Kaige took stock of the remaining suspects. "By the timing of her death, I doubt Chiri or Tasuki could have done it, they'd have been in bed." That left Nakago, Tetsuya, and Tama.

Kaige's eyes burned at the thought of Tama. That damn cat, it would pay for it's insolence. "I say we pin the murder on the cat and call it a night." She added something under her breath. "Then I'll call it a night after tearing it limb from limb." Flame looked to her with suspicious eyes. "I heard that." Kaige laughed, "Sorry, don't mind me."

Flame then decided to be rational about the final choices. Nakago, is in the other world, and wouldn't come back to be arrested. If he was the murderer, it wouldn't matter in the least. Tama, well it's possible, he's a damned smart cat. But he's no where to be seen, so he must be with Mitsukake in the other world. He wouldn't have been able to get to this world with out a focus and to her knowledge, he had none. Then there was Tetsuya. She turned to look at him, falling into his eyes yet again. 'He couldn't have done it, his eyes are so honest, so beautiful. No, it wasn't him.'

Kaige watched quietly as Flame finished her assessment of the final suspects. "It couldn't have been any of them, unless it was Nakago." This brought a response from the shell that wasn't exactly friendly, but a denial at best. Kaige sighed, "Then we didn't have the right suspects. It must have been her mother." A loud sigh of relief was hard from Tetsuya. When all eyes turned to him, he quickly explained. "Just happy that she's not still alive, she could have come after one of us next." It was a plausible excuse so they ignored the niggling doubt in their minds.

And they left the apartment, with it's pile of decomposing bodies. Another case, supposedly solved. Tetsuya grinned as he followed them to the elevator. Maybe Yu Watase would make a spin-off anime about him. He pulled on the sunglasses he had retrieved and cleaned. He'd just have to show her what happens when he doesn't get his way. The elevator filled with his evil laughter as they went down, no one the wiser.

A/N Yes, I had a little too much fun with this one. ^_^ But Tetsuya is a good character and deserves to have lots of attention. ::looks to the man holding her hostage with sunglasses:: Good enough, Tet-kun? ::turns back:: And he's really hot, and if he doesn't get more fans he's going to hunt you all down. O.O!