Title: Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads

Author: StarryTian

Summary: One day, the Titans decide to visit the library, and surprisingly, Beast Boy finds a book called "Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads". Using his amazing brain (please note the sarcasm) he decides to bring together Robin and Starfire, somehow dragging Cyborg and Raven into the mess.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, and I don't really want to anyways. Whoever owns them right now is doing a really good job at it! (applauds)


Beast Boy carefully fingered the book in his hands. After narrowly escaping the wild fans, he flew straight up into his room, and plopped down on his bed.

"Whew!" he sighed. "Usually I don't mind fans, but this time, I've got more important issues to deal with!"

He sat up, opened the book, and started to read. (A/N: I guess there's a first time for everything!)

Step one:

In order for matchmaking to occur, the two soon-to-be-lovers must know each other. If they do not know the person they are about to be matched with, you might as well drop this book into a nearby trashcan.

"Oh no!" Beast Boy thought stupidly. "I don't want to drop this book in the dirty old trash can! I HAVE to do what the book says!"

He thought for a moment, and then another light bulb appeared on his head.

"I have an idea! I'll just ask them if they know each other! Oh yeah… go Beast Boy, it's your birthday… " Beast boy excitedly thought. "But first…"

Beast Boy felt around, until he came in touch with something shiny and smooth, once again. He admired the light bulb for a moment, then carefully placed it next to the one hecreated earlier this morning.

In the Titan's living room, Starfire and Robin were playing "Life" on the floor, Raven was reading the horror novel, and Cyborg was waiting for Beast Boy.

"Where's that green grass stain?" Cyborg thought impatiently. "I can't wait to beat him on the new Game Station: Aliens on Planet X!"

He sighed, and leaned back on the couch while listening to Starfire and Robin's conversation.

"Robin," Starfire started. "I believe it is your turn!"

"Right."

Cyborg faintly heard the whirr sound as Robin spun the spinner.

"5… Um, I just get a Life Card. Your turn."

whirr

"Two!" Starfire shouted. "One…two…Um, Robin? Shall I get married, or get a job?" (A/N: I don't really know how to play "Life" so please just bear with me, ok?)

Robin looked uncomfortable. "Uh… whatever you want, Star."

Starfire pondered this for a moment. "Let's see… then I shall get… MARRIED!"

Robin was shifting all over the place now. "UUUHHHH… ok. Here's a little blue person for your car---"

"Oh, Robin! Whom shall I get married to?"

"That's not really important to this game---"

"Of course it's important! This game is called 'Life', is it not? In REAL life, whom you get married to, is of utmost importance."

"Star… um…"

Behind them, Cyborg was silently trying to contain his laughter. "Poor Robin," he thought. "He is so oblivious to the things around him… tsk tsk"

"I KNOW!" Starfire cried, joyously. "I shall get married to you, Robi---"

It was then when Robin chose to erupt into a coughing fit.

"Robin, are you okay? Robin… Ro---Robin?"

"Don't---cough---worry about----cough---me---cough" Robin coughed.

"Oh no! Robin! Shall I do the CPR?"

Robin immediately stopped coughing.

"Oh, thank goodness you're safe!" Starfire said, giving Robin a bone-crushing hug.

On the couch, it was all Cyborg could do from laughing at the "couple" behind him. Even Raven was smiling… on the inside.

"Okay, where were we?" Robin recovered.

"Oh yes, I was about to get married and---"

"RIGHT." Robin interrupted, while spinning the spinner. "It's my turn…"

"But I haven't told you whom I'm going to be mar---"

"SIX," said Robin, rather loudly. "One, two, three, four, five… six. Oh look, Star, I'm right next to you…"

"Wondrous! Then you shall get married too? Here is a little tiny itty-bitty pink person for your car!" Starfire chirped. "Whom shall you get married to?"

"Oh, I know just the person." Robin said, with an amused smile.

"Really?…" Starfire's face visibly darkened. "If I may ask, who is it?"

"It's somebody that we all know and love." was the reply.

Starfire was starting to burn with jealousy, but didn't show it. "I'm sure you two will have a glorious time then. I do not feel like playing "Life" now---"

"Wait!" Robin sighed. This wasn't going the way he planned at all. "You see, Star…" He nervously scratched the back of his head. "That person is---"

"Ever to the What!" Starfire snapped. "I will play if YOU will simply be quiet!"

Robin was shocked… he never saw Starfire like this… ever.

"It's… um, you're turn now." Robin said, timidly.

WHIRRRRRRRRRRRR

"Starfire! Hey, um—Starfire, don't spin it that hard----"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…… BOOM!

At the sound of the "boom" Cyborg whipped around just in time to see Robin fall anime style, a sizzling dent in the ground, a very sad and… jealous Starfire?

"Uh, I guess we should play another game?" Robin tried, as he got back up.

"NOOOOO…" Starfire wailed. "My twins! They are---- wahhh!"

"Twins?" Robin questioned, aghast. "Since when did you have---"

"HEELLLLOOOOOO EVERYBO--- whoa." Beast Boy's voice rang through their living room, before stopping dead at the sight before him.

"Well…"Beast Boy thought, smugly. "I guess my matchmaking skills are more in need now than ever! Time to put my ingenious plan into action!"

"Hey, Beast boy!" called Cyborg. "Wanna play the newest Game Station: Aliens on---"

"Nope! No time for that!" Beast Boy said, over his shoulder. "I have more IMPORTANT things to do!"

Cyborg gaped at him. "Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Beast Boy!" he demanded.

Beast Boy simply waved him away, and walked over to Starfire and Robin.

"Hmmm…" he thought. "It might be easier to start with Robin. Starfire looks angry. Okay… this is it... deep breath ...I have been looking forward this moment since… well, FOREVER! ...dramatic pause…"

"Um, Beast Boy," their leader said. "Are you just going to stand there, or what?"

"Oh yeah. Robin, do you know who Starfire is?" Beast boy asked. "In case you don't she's the one with---"

"…Silky auburn hair that flows in the wind, amazing green pools of green for eyes that you could just drown in, and--- oops." Robin finished sheepishly.

"Well, " Beast Boy said triumphantly. " My work here is done!"

"Uh, is there anything else?"

"Nope. Thanks for cooperating, Robin. You'll thank me in the future. Goodbye." Beast Boy said, almost imperiously.

"Okay…" Robin muttered, really puzzled at Beast Boy's actions.

"YO BEAST BOY!" Cyborg hollered. "Get your green butt over here, and play Game Station: Aliens on Planet X with me!"

"No can do, metal man." Beast Boy said. "I've got more important things to do! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find Starfire. By any chance do you know where she is?"

"Man, what's so important that you can't play Game Station: Aliens on Planet X?" Cyborg whined. " Nothing's more important than that! Also, stop talking like you'resome kind ofcollege professor. It's really annoying. And what do you need Starfire for?"

"Would you stop badgering me already! I'm only trying to get Starfire and Robin together so they can be happy! And don't look at me like that! I DO have the brains to do it. I'm a GREAT matchmaker, if I do say so myself! Well, actually, I'm using a book called 'Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads' which I borrowed form the library!" Beast Boy finished with a loud stomp on the floor.

Cyborg stared at him.

"Ooopssss…" Beast Boy mumbled to himself. "Uh… Cy? Are you going to say something? 'Cause I really don't like you looking at me like that… Cy? Cyborg?"

Suddenly, Cyborg's face broke into a VERY LARGE grin. "Well, it's about time somebody did something about those two! Good job, BB! I'll be with you ALL THE WAY!" He jumped up and clapped Beast Boy on the back.

Luckily, Starfire and Robin were out of the living room so they didn't hear Beast Boy's outburst, but unfortunately (A/N: or fortunately, depends on how you look at it...) Raven did.

"Come on, BB! Let's go ask Starfire if she knows who Robin is!" Cyborg stupidly said.

Apparently, Beast Boy's stupidity rubs off pretty quickly.

"Alright!"

The two "so-called-matchmakers" were about to rush off, when they were suddenly encased in a bubble of black aura.

"You two are not going anywhere," Raven said in a monotone voice, while closing her book and walking towards them.

Ignoring Beast Boy and Cyborg's complaints, she continued. "I am not going to allow you two idiots to ruin Starfire and Robin's relationship, and---"

"WHAT RELATIONSHIP?" Beast Boy yelled. "Come on, Rae! We're only trying to make Robin and Star happy! Why are you so against that?"

Raven frowned. "Just… don't make it any worse…"

Then, she walked away.

"Hey!" they shouted. "Are you forgetting something!"

"No," was the reply.

"Raven…" Cyborg whined. "Don't you want Star and Robin together?"

Slience.

"Yeah," Beast Boy added. "Then, when they're married and have a bagillion-zillion kids, they'll come up to us and say 'Auntie Raven! Thank you soooo much for getting our parents together!' I know---"

"BB, shut up!" Cyborg hissed. "You're making it worse!"

Slience.

"I will not let them get to me," Raven thought. "Yes, I do want Robin and Starfire together, but at this rate… well, I hate to admit it, but Beast Boy and Cyborg do have a point."

"Of course, they have a point!" Knowledge chided. "Just listen to them. It'll work out just fine."

"Ugh…" Raven groaned inwardly. "Knowledge, I didn't ask you to come out and---"

"Don't listen to them!" Common Sense interrupted. "It'll just turn out bad, you know it!"

"Or…" Revenge hissed. "Just prove to them that their idiotic plan won't work. Make a bet and---"

"BLAST THEM INTO OBLIVION!" Stupidity blurted out.

"Shut up!" Raven accidentally yelled out loud.

Beast Boy and Cyborg instantly shut up.

"Oops," Raven thought. "Well, I guess this'll work too…. Come to think of it, Revenge's plan seems awfully good."

"Of course it is…" Revenge murmured. "Just make a bet with Common Sense, and prove to yourself once and for all that those two dumbbells are stupid and wrong as always."

"I accept," Common Sense snapped.

"Good," Revenge retorted. "Then it's on. Raven, whose side are you on?"

"Neither," was the bland reply. "I'll just go along with it."

Making up her mind and pushing all of her emotions to the back of her head, she quickly flew over to Beast Boy and Cyborg, once again.

"I'll join," Raven stated.

"Wha?"

"I said," she gritted her teeth. "I'll join you two in bringing Robin and Starfire together."

"Boo-ya!" Cyborg cheered.

"Dude, that's TOTALLY AWESOME! Now, get us out of your bubbly thingy and follow my lead!" Beast Boy demanded.

Raven sighed. "This is what you get for making bets with yourself."


Meanwhile, Starfire was on her bed sniffling and throwing the last of her tissues in the trashcan next to her.

"What did I do wrong?" Starfire thought remorsefully. "I only wanted Robin to know how I fee---"

She suddenly stopped, for she heard voices outside.

Starfire stained to hear what they were saying, but only made out a few words.

"Just…question… Ask… Star… Idiot… -smack-…"

-Knock knock knock-

"Starfire?" Raven's voice floated through the door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, friend Raven." Starfire said, hoping she sounded cheerful.

Raven slid the door open, and sat down next to her.

"Um… Starfire? Can I ask you a question?" Raven asked.

Starfire nodded.

" -sigh- Do you know who Robin is?"

At the sound of "Robin", Starfire instantly burst into tears.

"Starfire? Are you ok?" Raven was slightly shocked by Starfire's reaction.

"Y-y-YESS!" she bawled. "But Robin… he s-shall n-never feel w-wh---what I feel for… HIM!… He-he… l-loves another-other… girl!"

Raven just sat there. She had absolutely no idea what to do, and certainly wasn't expecting this. Cautiously, she put an arm around Starfire.

"Star… you don't realize this, but Robin cares… for you."

Starfire looked up with tear-filled, hoping eyes.

"Do you really th-think so?"

"I know so…"

Quickly, Starfire stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Then, I shall tell Robin that everything is okay to the A!"

With that, she flew from the room, leaving a very confused Raven behind.

"Aliens…"she muttered, and walked out of the room.


Outside Starfire's room, Beast Boy and Cyborg were pressing themselves against the door, vainly trying to hear what was going on.

"Dude, move outta the way!" Beast Boy ferociously whispered. "I can't hear a thing!"

"Man, do you think I can!"

Then, an unexpected wail came from the room.

"Dude… I think she's crying…" Beast Boy whispered in awe.

"What gave it away?" Cyborg rolled his real eye.

"Well--- OOMPH!"

"Friends!" the voice of Starfire reached their ears. "If I may ask, what are you doing on the ground? Is there anything interesting that dwells down there?"

"No, Star," Cyborg grunted. "Just… hanging around…"

"Oh, okay. Tell me, where can I find Robin?"

"I dunno…" Beast Boy said, getting up. "Try the gym."

With a happy nod, Starfire flew away, only to be replaced with a very annoyed Raven.

"You owe me…" she hissed, before phasing through the ground.

"Dude, sometimes Raven scares me," Beast Boy said out loud.

"No kidding…"


A/N: Well, that was chapter two! But, before I go on, I would like to give a HUGE THANK YOU to "Terra" and "Nightfire22". JUST THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR ACTUALLY REVIEWING FOR ME! I REALLLYYYY APPRECIATE IT! Just thanks a WHOLE BUNCH!

Sooo… did you like the chapter?

Beast Boy: TOTALLY MAN!

Cyborg: Since when have you said "man"?

Raven: Since he learned how to read…

-Silence-

Beast Boy (scratching head): I don't get it.

Raven: You wouldn't.

Robin (entering scene): Hey guys. What's up?

Cyborg (evil twinkle in eye): Your girlfriend, that's what's up!

Robin (shocked and exasperated): Why do you always drag that sunject into the "after chapter?"

Cyborg (rolling eyes): If you haven't noticed, this whole fanfiction is about you and your girlfriend!

Raven: For once, he has a point.

Beast Boy: Hey, I have a point too!

Raven (bored): Really? What?

-Silence-

Beast Boy (scratching head…again): I dunno, I forgot…

A/N: Ok, then! Remember to---

Starfire (interrupting): READ AND REVIEW!

Robin: Whoa! Since when did you learn that phrase?

Beast Boy: Yeah! I wanted to say that!

Raven: Idiot.

Cyborg: Boo-ya!

A/N: Uh… yeah, what Starfire said!

Over and out,

StarryTian