Title: Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads

Author: StarryTian

Summary: One day, the Titans decide to visit the library, and surprisingly, Beast Boy finds a book called "Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads". Using his amazing brain (please note the sarcasm) he decides to bring together Robin and Starfire, somehow dragging Cyborg and Raven into the mess.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, and I don't really want to anyways. Whoever owns them right now is doing a really good job at it! (applauds)


"Uh… What do we do now?" Beast Boy blinked.

"I dunno." Cyborg replied. "Let's see, Starfire is looking for Robin, Robin is who-knows-where, and Raven is super-duper pissed at us! What do you suggest we do?"

-Silence-

Just then, another light bulb appeared out of nowhere on top of Beast Boy's head.

"I KNOW!" he shouted out, for the third time that day. "Let's go on to Step Two!"

"By golly, BB! You're a genius!" Cyborg yelled.

"You bet I am! But wait! I feel like I'm forgetting something…"

"You mean that light bulb on your head?" Cyborg asked, snatching it out of thin air.

"Yeah that was it… "

"Ooo… shiny…" the two boys stared at the light bulb.

Beast Boy was the first one of snap out of the trance.

"If you think that was amazing, check out the other two I made this morning!" Beast Boy boasted.

"No… kidding, you made more!" Cyborg gasped.

"You bet!"

"Can I see them? Please?" Cyborg asked, with awed eyes.

"Well… I don't usually let people see them, but---"

"JUST LET ME SEE THEM, YOU GREEN ELF!" Cyborg roared.

"O-Okay…"Beast Boy squeaked, morphing into a mouse.

And so, the two troublemakers rushed to Beast Boy's room, with Cyborg hot on Beast Boy's tail... literally.

"Where are they!" Cyborg demanded.

"Here," Beast Boy peeped, morphing back into his human form and pointing to the other two light bulbs.

"Wow…" Cyborg stared in awe. "They're so shiny…" (A/N: Gee, moody much?)

"I know, they're little beauties aren't they?" Beast Boy admired, carefully putting his third one next to the others.

The two stupid-heads (A/N: I'm sorry, couldn't resist…) just ogled, gaped, gawked, and gazed at the three glistening light bulb for 10 full minutes.

"The book!" Beast suddenly shouted, snapping out of the trance, once more. "Where is it?" (A/N: Yay! Some common sense! Finally!)

"Here it is!" Cyborg exclaimed, as he hurriedly flipped the pages.

"Hey, gimme that!" Beast Boy snatched the book away from his hands, and accidentally dropped the book, unnoticed.

"No, I should get to read it--- POW--- OW! Hey, what was THAT for!"

" 'Cause I felt …like it!" Beast boy wrestled, accidentally kicking the pages of the book. The title now read "Step 17".

"Why you--- come here, ya little grass stain! You're gonna get it!" Cyborg wheezed out, unintentionally kicking the book just like Beast Boy did. Now, the pages read "For REALLY Desperate Needs…" (A/N: coincidence, no?)

"Cyborg!" Beast Boy yelled. "Get off me! –POW- OWW! The book! The BOOK! Think about THE BOOK!"

Cyborg suddenly jumped off Beast Boy and grabbed the book. "Gee, man. I'm really sorry about that."

"No… problem…" Beast Boy gasped, flailing for oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide. "You're just moody today… that's… all…"

"Moody? MOODY! MOODY! I'LL SHOW YOU MOODY!"

"No, dude!" Beast Boy put up his hands in surrender. "I didn't mean 'moody'! I meant…uh… fruity! Yeah, that's it! Fruity!"

"Fruity?" Cyborg wrinkled his nose. "What's fruit gots to do with anything?"

"I dunno, I'm guess I'm just stupid, "Beast Boy lied, thoroughly scared of Cyborg. (A/N: Who wouldn't?)

"HAW HAW HAW!" Cyborg guffawed. "Ya got that right!"

"Hey!" Beast Boy protested… but then thought of the book, yet again. "The book! The BOOK, Cyborg!"

-Guffaws-

"Dude! Cy! Cyborg!"

-Guffaws-

"Ugh…"

-Guffaws-

-5 minutes later-

"Okay, Beast Boy, I'm done now," Cyborg said, wiping away his tears.

"Whoa, dude…" Beast Boy gaped. "Were you…crying?"

"SHUT UP, BB, AND READ THE BOOK!" Cyborg roared.

"Eeeeek! Okay, okay!"

Beast Boy hurriedly picked up the book, still unaware that it was flipped to, "For REALLY Desperate Needs: Step Two".

He cleared his throat, and read out loud:

Step Two:

Lock the two soon-to-be-lovebirds into a closet.

PS. Suggestions on page 56.

"Well, that was short, sweet, and to the point!" Cyborg happily said.

"Uh, yeah. Do you want to go to page 56?" Beast Boy asked timidly, afraid Cyborg would blow up again.

"Sure, why not?"

Beast Boy quickly flipped to page 56 but apparently, Cyborg didn't think it was quick enough.

"Gimme that!" Cyborg snarled at Beast Boy. "At this rate, we're NEVER going to get to page 56!"

Beast Boy just nodded, terrified at Cyborg's "mood swings".

"Ah, here we are!" Cyborg immediately brightened up, as he started to read. "S-s-ug-sujes-sujesstshuns… What on earth does that mean?"

"Um…" Beast Boy cut in. "It's 'suggestions', and can I read? You seem to not know how to … -gulp- … read."

" I CAN READ JUST FINE, BUDDY!" Cyborg bellowed.

"…"

After enduring 20 painstakingly long minutes of Cyborg's horrible reading, Beast Boy finally got something out of it.

"Th-the THE! Yes!" Cyborg was still reading. "The s-s..small…smaller, SMALLER! YEAH! The smaller the cl-clo-closssset…, CLOSET! WHOO! Okay, so far it's: The smaller the closet… the b-better… Hey, BB! Check this out! 'The smaller the closet, the better!' "

"Hey, buddy?" Beast Boy interrupted. "You're doing a great job---"

"Really? Hey, thanks!" Cyborg said, giving him a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, BIG grin that scared Beast boy even more.

"Y-yeah, and I think we can just trick Robin and Star into the same closet, right?"

"Yeah! And remember, 'The smaller the closet, the better!' "Cyborg finished with pride.

"So, let's go! Let's try the living room first!" Beast Boy yelled.

"Whoo!" Cyborg hollered.

They rushed to the living room, hoping to find Robin or Starfire but had no such luck.

"Nope, nobody here," Beast boy concluded. "Let's try the---"

"BB! Check this out! A broomstick!"

"Uh-huh, that's great and all but---"

"Look! It sweeps! Sweep, sweep, sweep… Lalala… Sweep, sweep, I'm sweeping!… Whoo!" Cyborg sang, while sweeping.

"Cyborg! Stop sweeping and---"

"SHUT UP AND WATCH ME SWEEP, YOU GREEN ELF!"

Beast Boy watched him sweep.

Just then, Robin walked in.

"Hey guys," he greeted them with a slight nod.

"SWEEEEEEEP!" Cyborg hollered, while charging at Robin with his broomstick.

"Hey, Cybor—whoa! What are you doing with that broomstick, Cy? Whoa! WHOA! STOP! PUT THE BROOMSS--- -WHACK-… -THUD-"

"Cyborg!" Beast Boy yelled, waving his hands up and down. "What did you that for! You just knocked our leader unconscious!"

"I-I'm sorry… I-I did-didn't mean to! –sniff- …"

"Oh no, " Beast Boy groaned, putting his head in his gloved hands. "You're not going to cry are you?"

"Wahhhh… sniff… WAHHHH!"

As if on cue, Starfire walked through the doors of the living room.

"Hello? I heard the sound of the crying, and I have come to investigate whom it--- OH NO! ROBIN! ROBIN! CAN YOU HEAR--- -WHACK-…-THUD-…"

"Cyborg!" Beast Boy shouted. "You just knocked Starfire and…Robin out… so WE CAN LOCK THEM IN A CLOSET! Whoo! Good job!"

"Huh? Sniff, yeah, I am pretty good huh?" Cyborg wiped away his tears.

"Let's do it!"


Robin groaned, and rubbed his head.

"What am I doing here? Wait a minute, where is here? Why is it so dark, and why am I so squished, and---"

He stopped, on account of feeling something stir. It was then when Robin realized that he wasn't the only one stuffed in… wherever they were. The sweet smelling scent of lilac reached him, and with a gasp, he realized that he was in a closet with Starfire!

"Robin?" Starfire's melodic voice reached his ears. "What on this planet named Earth are we doing in… Robin, where are we?"

He moved uncomfortably around, which was not an easy thing to since he and Starfire were practically pressed against each other in this… closet.

"Uh-uh-um…" Robin stuttered. "Um… I'm not sure why we're in this closet Star, but I sure don't mind it--- doh!"

He mentally slapped himself.

"You… don't?" Starfire inquired.

"No… I don't mind at all…"

-Awkward Silence-

"Why not just tell her now?" Robin thought. "This is the perfect moment---"

Suddenly, he heard Cyborg's voice outside, and everything came back to him in a flash. Walking into the living room… the broomstick… and here…

Robin then felt something on his cheek, and gently touched it. It was Starfire's hand. By instinct, their heads crept closer and focused on each other's lips. Closer… and closer… until their lips were few millimeters apart… and then…

"No, wait! CYBORG! That's the closet where we put---"

Suddenly, the door swung open (A/N: I guess it wasn't locked after all… well, the two never bothered to check…) and the next thing Starfire and Robin knew…

"HOLY MACARONI! BEAST BOY, CHECK THIS OUT! ROBIN AND STARFIRE WERE MAKING OUT IN A REALLY TEENY-TINY SUPER-DUPER SMALL CLOSET!" Cyborg shrieked. (A/N: Yes, Cyborg shrieked…)

Starfire lost her balance, and fell to the floor bringing Robin down with her… In a very interesting position…

"BEAST BOY! NOW, LOOK AT THEM!"

Just then, Raven came in. (A/N: Haha, perfect timing, huh?)

"What the---" Raven started.

"RAVEN, IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" Beast Boy frantically yelled.

At that, Robin quickly got off Starfire.

"Whatever," the Goth muttered, as she walked to the kitchen for her daily herbal tea.

"See?" Revenge sneered. "I told you things were going to go bad."

"Don't listen to Revenge, Raven." Common Sense said, calmly. "Things are going to get better… trust me…"


A/N: Ta-da! But before we go on….

I JUST WANT TO SAY "THANK YOU TO ALLLLLLLL OF THE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED!" GEE, YOU GUYS ARE THE GREATEST! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

I want to thank: kay jolyn, Spitfire F.22, akiismarina, april4rmH-town, samanthe2121, and, BunnyRavenOfBlackRoses.

THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH! I JUST CAN'T SAY THAT ENOUGH!

kay jolyn: I know, Robin seriously has the flirting thing all wrong! THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!

akiismarina: AHH! I hope I didn't ruin your appetite or anything! Heehee! By the way, what does your name stand for? It's really interesting! THANNKKSSSS FOR REVIEWING!

Spitfire F.22: Thank you! And I can see this happening too! GOSH, I JUST CAN'T STOP SAYING "THANK YOU!"

april4fmH-town: Paper- $2

Pencil- $1

Reading your review- priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's debit Master card.

Hahahahaa! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!

samanthe2121: Thanks! I WILL keep up the good work! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!

BunnyRavenOfBlackRoses: "Hilarity"! Wow, that's a new word! And no problem, I LOVE reading your poems! HEY EVERYBODY WHO'S READING THIS! READ BUNNYRAVENOFBLACKROSES' POEMS! THEY ARE REALLYYYY GOOD!

Heehee! Well… THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!


A/N: Thank you sooo much! Sigh… that was fun! Okay then---

Raven (genuinely surprised): Wow, there's a person named after me.

Beast Boy (teasing): Yeah! Remember when you were a cute little bunny? You were soooooo cute! Weren't you? Yes, you are! Yes, you ar--- Uh, I'll stop now.

Raven (glaring at Beast Boy): Good idea…

Starfire (entering scene): Hey, wazzup?

Robin (staring at Starfire): Where did you learn that phrase?

Starfire (monotone): Wazzup, dog? Ya ready to partay?

Beast Boy (excited): You betcha!

Robin (worried): Star, are you ok?

Cyborg (rushing in): Hey, you guys! Did you by any chance see my Starfire-bot? I must've misplaced it.

Robin (shoving 'Starfire' towards him): HERE! Where's Starfire?

THE REAL STARFIRE (entering scene): Glorious day, friends!

Robin (running up to give Starfire a hug): STARFIRE!

Starfire (shocked, but pleased): Hello Robin.

Beast Boy (snickering): If you guys are done with whatever you're doing, come down to earth and join us.

Robin (embarrassed, and breaking away from hug): Sorry…

Cyborg (whining): Why did the authoress have to make me look so dumb?

Beast Boy: Yeah! I was TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by that!

Cyborg (complaining): I am SO not moody!

StarryTian (entering scene): Because I want to!

Beast Boy: Whoa! The authoress! You guys, look!

Cyborg (smug): Good! Now that you're here in person, I would like to file a complaint on how you made me look like a total idiot, right in front of my—I mean, our fanfiction readers!

StarryTian: Because I have total, and utter control over you! Observe, with a snap pf my fingers –snap-, I can make you have hair!

Cyborg (with hair): OMGOODNESS!

StarryTian: Ha!

Raven: You go girl.

Robin (smirking) Wait, you can make anything happen in this fanfiction?

StarryTian: Not to brag or anything, but yes. Anything.

Robin (motioning StarryTian towards him): Then, can you make this happen?

StarryTian (listening to Robin whisper): Uh, sure! If you really want that! But I'm going to have to ask Starfire if it's ok, because it is a "T" rated fanfiction, you know, for "Teen Titans".

Starfire: Oh, please tell me!

-StarryTian whispers to Starfire-

Starfire (wide-eyed): Oh… um, sure, I suppose.

Beast Boy and Cyborg (bursting with excitement): WHAT IS IT?

Starfire: The authoress just asked me whether I should cover you two in tar and feathers? Shall I start?

Beast Boy (shoulders drooping): No… I just thought … never mind. Wait- Starfire, what are you doing with that tar?---- Ahh!

Raven: Idiot.

Cyborg (running away from Starfire, but having a hard time because his hair is getting in the way): AHHHHHHHHHH!

Robin: Uh, please review!

A/N: What Robin said! See ya!

Over and out,

StarryTian