Title: Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads
Author: StarryTian
Summary: One day, the Titans decide to visit the library, and surprisingly, Beast Boy finds a book called "Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads". Using his amazing brain (please note the sarcasm) he decides to bring together Robin and Starfire, somehow dragging Cyborg and Raven into the mess.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, and I don't really want to anyways. Whoever owns them right now is doing a really good job at it! (applauds)
"Uh…" Beast Boy stuttered, as he started to run away. "Come on, Cyborg! Let's go!"
"OKAY!" Cyborg cheered, while running after him.
This left Robin and Starfire… alone.
"Uh, hey Star…" Robin nervously stammered, scratching the back of his neck. "How ya doing?"
Starfire tilted her head. "I am not sure Robin. Truth to be told, I am rather confused about what we did in that… closet."
"Um, what we did? I uh… forgot." Robin lamely finished.
"Do you mean to say… -sniff- … what we almost did back there was… -sniff- a …MISTAKE!" Starfire wailed out the last part.
"No, no! Star, I didn't mean----"
"WAAHHHHH!"
And with that, Starfire fled the room, leaving a very confused and heartbroken Robin behind.
"Great, what did you do now, Boy Wonder?" Raven sarcastically said, as she walked up to him with a cup of herbal tea in hand.
"I'm not sure," Robin truthfully admitted. "All I said was---"
"I don't care what you said," Raven snapped. "Just go and fix it! We've all been waiting too long for this to happen, and I'm not going to let---"
"Okay, okay! I'll go!" Robin interrupted, as he started to back away. Then, turned it into a full sprint. "Just… um, don't get mad… heehee…" (A/N: Wow that was TOTALLY OOC…)
"Good," Raven darkly muttered, sipping her tea.
"Beast Boy, Beast Boy, he's the guy! He's the that makes me… wanna have pie!" Cyborg chanted/cheered.
"Cyborg, can you just be quiet?" Beast Boy complained. "You've been doing that for the past 6 minutes!"
"Beast Boy, Beast Boy, he's so great! He's as great… as an ape!"
"Ugh… we're almost at my room. Come on." Beast Boy grumbled.
After shutting the door behind them, Beast Boy took out the book once again, and motioned Cyborg to sit down with him.
"Okay, on to step three."
"YAY! STEP THREE! It's not Step One, or Step Two, but it's STEP THREE!" Cyborg cheered.
"CYBORG!" Beast Boy yelled. "What's wrong with you! Stop being all moody!"
"-sniff-… -sniff-… WAHHHH!"
"UGH! No! No more crying! No more crying! I can't stand it!" Beast Boy yelled, waving his hands around wildly.
Out of pure instinct, Beast Boy took a frying pan from underneath his bed, and whacked Cyborg on the head with it.
" WAHHHHH---- OUCH! Man, what did you do that for?"
"Thank the gods of tofu! Cy, your normal again!"
"Define 'normal'…" Cyborg muttered. "Now I have a big bump on my noggin!"
"Well, I had to hit you! You were being all weird!' Beast Boy defended himself. "You were all fruity, and calling me a GREEN ELF, and taking the broom and sweeping it, and not knowing how to read, and whacking Robin on the head, and whacking Starfire on the head, and bellowing at me, and snatching MY light bulbs out of thin air, and being all stupid, and OPENING THE CLOSET DOOR WHEN STARFIRE AND ROBIN WERE ABOUT TO KISS!"
Cyborg blinked.
"Uh… kiss?"
"YES, KISS!"
"Kiss!"
"Yes, KISS!"
"… Kiss?"
"YESS!" Beast Boy bellowed. "KISS!"
"……………… Kiss?"
"ARG! I give up!" Beast Boy threw up his hands in defeat. "I'll never be a great matchmaker! Not with you around!"
"Now, Beast Boy…" Cyborg said, all motherly like. "I'll help you!"
"Really?"
"Yes, really…"
-Awkward Silence-
"So… " Beast Boy began. "What made you all fruity?"
"Fruity?"
"Sorry, long story."
"Oh… um, well, I dunno." Cyborg confessed. "The last thing I remembered was eating Star's pudding…. Oh, that might explain it."
"Ya think!"
"Whatever. Anyways, are we going to be the greatest matchmaker on Earth, or what?" Cyborg said enthusiastically, while jumping up and down in order to cheer Beast Boy up.
"You BET!" Beast Boy yelled, hugging Cyborg.
- The Most Awkward Moment That You Will Ever Endure In Your Lifetime-
"Er…" Beast Boy stuttered, moving away from him. "Hah, okay then. Let's move onto Step THREE!"
"Okay," Cyborg agreed.
"Let's see…" Beast Boy flipped through the pages, still unaware that it was flipped to the section, which read 'For REALLY Desperate Needs…' "Okay, here it is!"
Step Three:
Play a game of Truth or Dare.
"Whoa, that was short," Cyborg, commented.
"Yeah… " Beast Boy said, an evil smile slowly forming on his lips. "Wait a second…"
Suddenly, a light bulb appeared on top on his head.
"… We can make this work to our advantage!" Beast Boy finished.
"BB!" Cyborg yelled. "You have a light bulb on your head!"
Beast Boy once again felt around for the light bulb and touched it instantly, for he was getting used to it already.
"No matter," Beast Boy said, coolly. "Hey, Cyborg. Put this next to the other ones I have."
"Really?" Cyborg asked.
"Totally sure."
Cyborg held it out and ever so gently placed carefully next to the other three.
"They're so beautiful… " Cyborg murmured in awe, wiping away a stray tear.
"Yeah… Come on! We need to announce that we want to play 'Truth or Dare'!" Beast Boy declared, already running out the door.
"Wait!" Cyborg yelled after him, while stopping Beast Boy. "It'll be too suspicious if we just say 'Hey everybody, who wants play Truth or Dare?' We need a more… subtle way of getting them--- hey! I got it!"
"What?" Beast Boy asked, excited.
"All we need to do is… hey! Why don't I get a light bulb?" Cyborg whined.
"Doesn't matter! Come on, what's the plan?"
"Okay, all we need to do is… -whisper whisper whisper-"
"Oh RA-VEN…!" Beast Boy called out in a sing-songy voice, jerking her out of her meditation.
Raven slowly opened one eye.
"What?" she demanded.
"I was just wondering…" Beast Boy started, shifting one foot to another. "… if you wanna join our sleepover!"
"No." Raven responded, blandly.
"Come on!"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
Beast Boy had been preparing for this.
"You have to! Or else, I'll show them…" he pulled out a photograph. "… THIS!"
Raven's eyes widened in horror, as she saw herself hugging Beast Boy.
"Where did you get that?" she insisted. "I never hugged you! And I never will!"
"I have ways…" Beast Boy answered. "Now, are you coming or not? If you don't… well, let's just say that the Titans are going to be very surprised…"
Suddenly, black aura surrounded the photo, causing it to rip to shreds.
"Now, they won't be. Go away."
But Beast Boy had been expecting this too. He just simply pulled out another copy.
"TA-DA!" he sang.
-RIPPP! -
Pulls out another one.
-RIPPP! -
Pulls out another one.
-RIPP! -
Pulls out another one.
"Ugh, Beast Boy!" Raven said, rather annoyed and standing up. "How many do you have?"
"Unlimited!" he responded. "Now, I'll ask again. Do you want to join our sleepover?"
Raven narrowed her eyes.
"Fine!" she said angrily.
"Good, "Beast Boy smugly said. "But first, you have to do a little favor…"
"Starfire?" Raven sighed, as she knocked on Starfire's door. "Starfire? Are you in there?"
"Hold on, friend Raven," Starfire's slightly muffled voice came through the door.
No more than 5 seconds later, the familiar –WHOOSH- of the door slid open, revealing Starfire.
"Hello, Raven!" she chirped. "It is not very often that you come and visit me. Is there something wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong," Raven replied. "I was just wondering if you could join our sleepover in the living room." (A/N: The living room is the place with the really big TV and couches!)
"What is a 'sleepover'?"
"It's where you… well, sleep over in another place," Raven badly explained.
Starfire seemed to of thought it was great, because she shouted, "GLORIOUS! Shall I bring my bag of sleeping and J of P's?"
"Uh… yeah."
"This is will be most memorable!" Starfire happily flew around the room, while searching for her sleeping bag, and pajamas.
Suddenly, she stopped searching and asked, "Will Robin be there?"
Raven was taken aback at this question. "Um, sure. I guess. Why?"
"Then, I do not wish to go," Starfire sat on her bed, arms crossed.
"Why not?" Raven started. "This sleepover is going to be… fun…"
She visibly grimaced from the word.
Starfire, on the other hand, perked up. "Fun? Are you sure, friend Raven? With Robin there, I am most certain that it isn't going to be fun…" (A/N: Ouch…)
"Yes, Starfire, it's going to be fun."
"Then…. I SHALL GO! WHOPPIE!"
Robin was by his desk, locked up deep inside his room as always. This time, however, the problem was not Slade or any of the villains. It was a certain redheaded alien princess.
Starfire.
He groaned into his hands.
"Everything was going so well!" he thought furiously. "And then I just had to ruin it! Ugh!"
-Knock knock knock-
"Yo, Robin!" Cyborg called. "There's going to be a sleepover in the living room, and it's boy's only! Wanna come?"
"Hmm… it might get my mind off Starfire…" Robin pondered.
"Sure, why not?" he answered.
"Cool. Be there in 5 minutes!"
"Boy, that was a lot easier than I thought!" Cyborg exclaimed happily to Beast Boy.
"Speak for yourself," Raven grumbled, taking out a book and reading it.
Everything was set. Now, all they had to do was wait for the two guests-of-honor.
"Is everything in place?" Beast Boy asked.
"Yep!"
"Great! Remember the plan, okay? When it comes to Dares, get as mushy-gushy as you can! When it comes to Truths, really butter it up!"
"Butter what up?" Starfire stepped into the living room wearing pink pajamas. (A/N: By the way, Beast Boy is wearing green pajamas, Raven purple, Cyborg blue, and Robin red. Go figure!)
"Uh… nothing!" Cyborg cut in. "Come on, Star! We've been waiting for you!"
Starfire happily plopped down between Raven and a big empty space. Beast Boy sat next to Raven, and Cyborg sat next to Beast Boy. They were arranged in a circle and sitting criss-cross applesauce, but one fifth of the circle was missing. (A/N: Guess who?)
No more than 30 seconds later, Robin barged into the room.
"Hey guys! What's--- Starfire?"
"Hiya Robin!" Beast Boy motioned Robin to come sit down between him and Starfire. "What took you so long?"
"CYBORG!" Robin bellowed at him. "I thought you said this was a boy's only sleepover!"
"Heh heh… Um, yeah…about that… I lied?" Cyborg nervously said, sweat-dropping.
"That's it, I'm out," Robin started to turn around.
"No wait!" Beast Boy and Cyborg yelled out at the same time, while wresting Robin to the ground.
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I'LL DO IT! JUST GET OFF ME!"
The two instantly released him, and Robin plopped grudgingly between Starfire and Beast Boy.
Starfire let out a "humph" and turned away from Robin.
"So…" Raven quirked an eyebrow, keeping her voice monotone. "I'm guessing you two have problems?"
"You don't know the half of it," Robin grumbled.
"ALRIGHT!" Beast Boy rubbed his hands together maliciously. "Who's up for a game of 'Truth or Dare'?"
"Oh no," Robin inwardly groaned. "What have I gotten myself into?"
"Me!" Cyborg yelled.
"Sure, whatever." Raven replied, not looking up from her book.
"What about you?" Beast Boy directed the question towards Robin. "Are you gonna play? Are you chicken?"
He morphed into a chicken for emphasis.
"I am NOT a chicken!" Robin growled. "Fine, I'll play."
"Awesome!"
"Please, friend Rob- I mean, Beast Boy, what is 'Dare or Truth'?" Starfire quickly covered up her mistake. She usually asked Robin what new things were.
"It's a game where one person asks 'Truth or Dare?' and the Other Person picks one. If the Other Person picks 'Truth' then the First Person has to ask a question, and the Other Person has to answer it truthfully. If the Other Person picks 'Dare, then the First Person as to pick a Dare for the Other Person. The, the Other Person has to do the Dare or else! Got that?" Beast Boy hurriedly explained.
"Uh, yes, I think so…" Starfire absent-mindedly said, for she was too busy trying to figure out the game. Starfire was sure that Robin could've explained it better, but reminded herself that she was mad at Robin… at least for the moment.
"But what happens when you do not do the 'Dare' that the First Person---"
"We'll get to that later, Starfire," Beast Boy interrupted. "Now… I'll go first! I pick…"
Everybody looked up. Even Raven.
"Robin!" Beast Boy finished, pointing at the Boy Wonder. "Truth or Dare?"
"Dare... Do your worst…" Robin narrowed his eyes. (A/N: Err… I mean, mask. I wonder what color Robin's eyes are… -sighs dreamily-)
Beast Boy and Cyborg shared an evil glance, then said… "I dare you to…"
-CLIFFHANGER-
A/N: Gosh, I'm awfully sorry to leave you guys hanging! I'm also sorry that I haven't been updating in such a long time. The Comcast Internet Service broke down! I can't even check my e-mail!
-Bangs head on desk angrily-… and they say that Comcast is always there for you! Or is that another Internet Thing? …-Mutters-…
I'll update soon! Really! And I'm also really sorry that I can't do any shout-outs to my reviewers! Gosh darn it; I don't even know if I have any reviewers! Poopey Internet service! Ugh!
Cyborg: Losing your cool?
StarryTian: Please be quiet. I'm in a bad enough mood already!
Robin (understandingly): I understand…
StarryTian: Gee, thanks guys! It makes me feel a lot better!
Cyborg (scoffing): You understand? Gee, what kind of a superhero says that? You sound like Mother Mae-Eye!
Starfire (shivering): Please do not mention her name, friends! The mere thought of her brings chills to my spine! Her evil-ness had brainwashed all of you into pie-eating monglorfs!
Raven (sickly): And she made me wear a dress… with PIGTAILS!
-A prop starts to glow black-
Beast Boy (thoughtfully): Actually, I thought you looked pretty cute in pigtails!
-The prop explodes-
Beast Boy (continuing): But then again, that dress was too frilly for my taste…
Robin (blanching): And that hair style that she made me have was… AWFUL! Ugh, that was horrible! It looked like two pincher claws or something! –shudders-…
Cyborg (teasingly): Yeah, I bet when you got back to the Titans Tower, you practically bathed in hair gel!
Robin (hotly): I do not bathe in hair gel!
Cyborg (hands crossed): Oh really? I bet your hair is not hair at all! I bet it's just hair gel!
Robin (getting fed up): This is hair, not gel!
Cyborg (laughing): And I'll bet if we open your closet, I'll get ambushed by a bunch of HAIR GEL MINIONS! Hahahahaa!
Robin (hands crossed): Oh yeah? Well, at least I have hair!
Cyborg (stops laughing): Oh no, you didn't! Bring it on, you spiky-haired, full-of-hair-gel, wacko little------
Starfire (interrupting): Please friends! Do not fight!
Raven (rubbing temples): Yeah, it's giving me a major headache…
Beast Boy (still continuing): … But the little cute, yellow bows were pretty cute, although the shoes did not match at all!
Raven (losing control): BEAST BOY! STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!
Beast Boy: Nev---
Deep voice: EAT CAKE!
Robin (whips out bo-staff): Who are you? Show yourself!
Deep voice (stepping out of imaginary shadow): I am Father Kan-Eye!
Cyborg (wrinkling nose): Father Kan-Eye?
Father Kan-Eye (yelling): YES! AND SINCE YOU HAVE CAPTURED MY WIFE INTO PIE, I SHALL FORCE YOU TO EAT MY CAKE! MUAHAHAHAA!
Raven (backing away): No… NO! Not another dress!
Robin (jumping up and down): I need to go to the bathroom! See you guys next chapter!
Father Kan-Eye: NUH-UH! YOU DIDN'T SAY "FATHER KAN-EYE!"
Beast Boy (talking to Cyborg): Father Kan-Eye married Mother Mae-Eye? Dude who would want to marry that old hag?
Father Kan-Eye: I WOULD, OF COURSE!
Starfire (bringing our rolling pin): Never! I shall not let you harm my friends in any way!
StarryTian: Déjà vu, much?
A/N: Well, that's all for now! Baubahgabughabguha… That's All Folks!
Disclaimer: I do not own that "Baubahgabughabguha… That's All Folks!" thing. It belongs to that piggy… uh, if anybody would be so kind to tell me what his name is, that'll be greatly appreciated!
Over and out,
StarryTian
