Chapter 36

Haru stopped immediately from what he was doing for a moment but then continuing again doing the herbs mixing as calm as he can.

"You know it….He is not here. You have a fever….that's why you are talking nonsense", said Haru without looking back.

"I know it's you Inuyasha…..STOP IT! Right now….and look at me…" said Kagome with her trembling body trying to control her emotion.

Haru then slowly turned around and looked at his wife. He can see how much sadness and anger all over her face.

"What are you saying? I told you I m not Inuyasha. I am Haru…your husband…." said Haru firmly.

"You'd better telling me the truth….Now! or I will never forgive you………You're Inuyasha and your son had proved it to me…." yelled Kagome very annoyed at him.

"You… STOP IT! Right now….I said I m….",Hare hasn't finished his words when he saw Kagome jumped up from the bed and opened her wardrobe and took out things from her bag. She threw all Inuyasha's belongings at Haru's face.

"If you are not Inuyasha! Can you explain to me how these thing were found nearby your house….and buried in the ground", screamed Kagome impatient.

Haru was so shocked to see all Inuyasha' things scattered around his feet. He just wishes that time can be frozen at the moment. The mixtures of feeling in his heart were about to explode also. Then he can't handle it anymore…he dropped on his knees without looking at Kagome.

"How did you find out all of these?" said Inuyasha in his hoarsely voice.

"It's your son…Yukio... who lead me to your secret place…..Why Inuyasha? Why …I want to know NOW!" said Kagome in tears and disbelief.

"Kagome…..I….I…" said Inuyasha didn't dare to look at Kagome.

Out of the blue, Kagome rushed towards him and hitting him on the chest with her both hands offensively.

"I….I hate….you…..I hate you so much….Do you know how much I wish you were there when I needed you? There is not a single day goes by without worrying you whether you are alive or death? Here you are so alive in front of me everyday…….I hate you for deceiving me….How could you!", screamed Kagome with tears on her cheeks.

"Kagome….Listen to me!" said Inuyasha tried to calm her down.

But she just wouldn't listen; she was attacking him with anything in the room. She grabbed whatever she can find in the room and threw them at Inuyasha.

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing? STOP IT! Now…Control yourself!" said Inuyasha worried about Kagome's rage.

Inuyasha then just stood there yielding whatever Kagome's doing on him right now. He was blocking himself with his arms till all the things in the room were no more to be thrown at him. He took the chance as fast as he can to run towards Kagome and held her in his arms.

"Enough! Stop doing this! Listen to me….Will you", yelled Inuyasha. He is holding tightly Kagome's arms. She couldn't move now but all of sudden she just looked at Inuyasha with full of hatred and kissed him forcefully.Inuyasha pulled her closely to him and started kissing her back. They were kissing so passionately for a moment till Inuyasha screamed in pain as Kagome bit his lower lips hastily. Inuyasha then pulled her away and touched her lips as blood coming out a bit from there.

"Khek….What you do that for? You… ", said Inuyasha but then didn't finish his words as he saw how distressed is her face. He then comes close to her but she has taken a step back from him….

"Don't you touch me again? Leave me alone!" said Kagome weeping. Her heart is broken again.

"Kagome….Shut up! Now….Listen….I have no other way to do like this…..I also didn't want to deceive you but….but I…I... didn't expect that you come back again to my life. What should I do….I….I love you…" said Inuyasha remorsefully.

"Why you have to lie to me. Why you have to be somebody else's?" said Kagome. She has lost her energy now even to cry.

"BECAUSE….. it is more easier for me to become Haru then Inuyasha. I couldn't bear thethought that I was the monster who had hurt you like an animal. I couldn't live my life as Inuyasha anymore. The thing…is….I CAN REMEMBER ALL WHAT WAS GOING ON THAT TIME! Kagome…..I can remember that I raped you again and again….at the back of my mind…but I couldn't control myself…. I didn't know how to stop it….I felt there was such a powerful evil force inmy body that making me helpless to do anything but watching you in painful moments. How could I possibly bear the feeling of disgusted and guilt in me every time I see you….Can you understand that?" screamed Inuyasha in pain. Tears are coming from his eyes.

Kagome was taken aback to hear what Inuyasha's saying. Inuyasha……so you remember….all….I didn't know….I really didn't know…..said Kagome. She then closed her eyes in tears. Those memories also had given her so much misery in her life. Actually both of them would not ever forget those painful memories.

"Then how come you can become a completely different person as Haru. You make me believe that you are not Inuyasha…." said Kagome.

"If you got so much hatred more than life itself. You will do anything to get rid what you didn't like. After you went back to your time, I was going insane. I had no purpose in this life anymore. I knew it if I am still hanyou…I cannot die easily. Then I went to see Kaede asking her to change me as human. I hated myself more than anything that time. When I became human….I though I can move on with my new life now. But I cannot forget you. Each day I can't stop thinking of you and Yukio. How much I missed you all. I wanted to search for you. Buy those miserable memory kept on haunting me. I didn't dare to face with you again. How could I? I ruined your life? I got no way to go but to kill myself. Since I m a human now I can kill myself easily using Tetsusaiga. Unfortunately, I didn't die instantly. I became unconscious because of losing too much blood. Just at thatthe same time an old man were passing by. He carried me to his home and saved my life. He took care my wound with his herbal medicine. His name is Master Haru. He was a very wise old man. I learnt so many things from him even about life. He then taught me how to be a physician. I started following him everywhere he goes. Because by helping people, it kept me busy and made my mind forget all the things that I didn't want to remember. I went with Master Haru everywhere till he passed away. He told me to continue helping people. Then I decided that I will become like him and using his name. No more Inuyasha. I buried all my things in ground just as I buried my past forever…..Everything went well…till I met you again. You came here…wounded…. I just didn't know what to think….Should I tell you that I am Inuyasha or Haru? I was so confused. I was scared you would hate me if I told you the truth that time. But...also I couldn't deny that my feeling for you is still the same. How much I wanted to hold you in my arms again….Kagome. I just can't let you go anymore. I will do anything to make you mine even by being someone else...", said Haru looking at Kagome.

"Then…why you let me go….that time Inuyasha…" said Kagome sadly.

"Because I was so jealous that you were still thinking to come back and marry that idiot. But at the same time I felt I didn't deserve you since I hurt you so badly… I was so confused …that's why I told you to go…but I was shocked that you really listened to me. Normally you would argue with me but that time you also told me to go away…What can I do then?" said Inuyasha closed his eyes.

"You ….should have told me about your feeling…Inuyasha….things would have been turned out differently….You got problem telling me about your feeling since the first time we met. You always couldn't decide between me and Kikyo…Now look what you did to our life…Inuyasha…." said Kagome cried.

"Don't mention her name again. I didn't want to remember her anymore", said Inuyasha.

He then approached Kagome….

"Can you forgive me….Kagome?" said Inuyasha.

Kagome didn't answer him. She walked away from him and went out from room.

"Kagome….don't leave me again…" screamed Inuyasha painfully.

Kagome didn't turn back; she kept on going outside the house and cried at the side of the river. I didn't know Inuyasha…I didn't know if we can be together again after this. There are so much painful memories between us….said Kagome. She sat near the river and cried alone for a while. When suddenly she heard foot steps rushing towards her. When she turned around. She saw in wonder to see Inuyasha came out from the house wearing his old red fur complete with his Tetsusaiga on his waist and….the rosary chain in his neck. He put it again by himself.

"What….what are you doing….Inuyasha….?" said Kagome so confused.

"Say it Kagome….say it…." screamed Inuyasha at her.

"What! You make me scared…!" said Kagome was taken aback. Here in front of her, the man that she loved. He is back. My Inuyasha…

"SAY IT OOOOOOSUWARI! KAGOME! SAY IT!" yelled Inuyasha full of tears.

"NOO! I won't …I couldn't …You are a human now. You will get hurt…." said Kagome yelling at him.

"I am begging you said it….again….PPPPPPPPLEASE! ", said Inuyasha so stressed up.

"Inuyasha….don't….I just can't………" said Kagome now dropped on her knees with her tears.

"Why? I deserved to be punished….I had abandoned you and my kids. I didn't even know I got Naomi….SAY IT ….KA…GO…ME", cried Inuyasha desperately.

"OSUWARI!" said Kagome at last. Then he saw Inuyasha was pulled to the ground. When he got up, she can see the bruises all over his face.

"Again! Kagome again….Please…." said Inuyasha begged her.

Kagome couldn't stand it anymore; she ran towards him and held him onto her arms. She is resting her head on his chest and crying hard.

"STOP IT! It's enough Inuyasha….I love you….I always love…you. I never blame you for what happened to me….I…I will never leave you again. I can't bear it to see you like this…" said Kagome looked at him.

"Ka…go….me ….I have never loved anyone like I love you….not even KIKYO! I love you……forever…..",said Inuyasha….cried on her shoulder.

They were both hugging like that for a moment. When they were calm down. Kagome then looked at him and took out the chain from his neck.

"You don't need to wear this anymore…You are not a hanyou. You are my husband now…Inuyasha. I want you to be who you are. However… I need time to think all this through. It's just too much to bear for me right now. I will be going home tomorrow taking Yukio and Naomi …besides my family should have missed them also…." said Kagome.

"You are not coming back again….are you?" said Inuyasha sadly.

"I will…Trust me ok….Just give me some space for a moment. I need my own time also to deal with these all. Could you let me do that?" asked Kagome looked at her husband.

"Ok…How many days you want?" said Inuyasha kissed her forehead.

"I didn't know …Inuyasha…." said Kagome.

"If you didn't come back….then I will come to get you...Understand!" said Inuyasha firmly.

"Yes…I know that…." said Kagome. She then left him alone.

I need to do this Inuyasha for the sake of our happiness also. Please understand me….said Kagome.

That was the last time they met. Next day, Kagome took her children to go home to her own time. Inuyasha can only see her leaving with so much sadness in his eyes. He spent his time day by day alone with agony. Missing his wife and kids so much. He wasn't sure when Kagome will come back.

A week after that, Inuyasha was sitting alone in his bedroom, looking through his opened windows. He is thinking of Kagome…..Where are you? Then suddenly, he heard someone knocked at the door.

"Miyoko….You can go home now…." said Inuyasha without looking back.

But no reply from Miyoko. He can feel somebody's presence in his room. When he turned around. He was shocked to see Kagome standing in front of him looking so happily. He can see how her eyes are glowing. He can't say anything struggling to calm his emotions.

"Ka…go…me! You are back!"

"Inuyasha….Make love to me now", said Kagome. She then slowly pulled down her robe and approached him.

"Hahhh? Are you sure…?" said Inuyasha blinked his eyes funnily.

"I have never been so sure in my life as today…Take me…" said Kagome then locked his lips.

To be continued