Part Four

Cortana and the Technicolor Dream Gown

A/N: This takes place on Earth (finally.) At a place I call Moneybags, New York.

While John and Willard are shopping for dumb stuff, such as bubble solution and fake rat traps, Cortana, Shanisha, and Arbiter are shopping for more constructive things, like an lovely wedding gown and accessories.

While Cortana tries on different gowns, Arbiter is trying to look down Shanisha's blouse.

"Look at my boobs again, and you'll be wearing that chocolate mousse," she said with her teeth clenched. "And I mean it, you eight foot tall bean pole."

"Guys?" Cortana yells from the fitting room. "How's this one?"

She steps out of the fitting room with a 1700s looking gown with way too much crinoline, bows, lace, long sleeves, and a stiff collar.

Shanisha and Arbiter stare at Cortana as if she were a Flood. The ugliness of the gown makes Arbiter drop his chocolate mousse.

"Well?" she says questioningly, "What do you think?"

At the same time, Shanisha and Arbiter say: "Oh HELL no."

"Uh, cupcakes," Shanisha gently pulls Cortana to the side. "This is 2552, not 1752. You might wanna change your gown 'cuz that ain't workin' sweetie."

"What's wrong with it?" Cortana asks her friend.

"Well…it's uh…way too much for you. It looks like it weighs over a thousand pounds and you could…um…trip on it." Shanisha gives Arbiter a hand gesture that says 'help me out here!"

Just to get on Shanisha's nerves, he says: "Cortana, what she's trying to say is that gown sucks. And it sucks hard."

Obviously, Cortana didn't notice the Goddess-awful color of the gown.

"Ewww! It's not even white! It's an ugly tan!" She runs back into the fitting room, and Shanisha and Arbiter are in for another five hours watching Cortana model in different gowns. She comes out with yet another ugly gown.

"This one?"

"No."

"This one?"

"Nope."

"This one?"

"No."

"Okay, what about this one."

Cortana finally finds the gown of her dreams: a beautiful form fitting, floor length gown with flowing sleeves, faux fur collar and a sexy split up the left leg.

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Showin' leg and cleavage all over the place!" Arbiter says with excitement in his voice. Shanisha nudges him in the arm.

"Jeebus H. Christopher! Calm down, Arbie! Anyways, you look beautiful. I bet John might end up falling all over himself when he sees you in that dress," she says with a big smile on her face.

"Well, we'll just have to see for ourselves on our big day,' Cortana says. "He is gonna totally FLIP when he sees this dress!"