Monica readily agreed to Carol and Susan's punishment scheme, so while they and Rachel went out into the hallway, Monica quickly stored the videos in her secret place--the window seat underneath the big picture window. Then Carol and Susan waved goodbye and left for home, while Monica and Rachel told everybody else in the gang.

Ross and Phoebe laughed hysterically, and Rachel was inspired to punish Ross for his deception too. She decided to lie about Ross when filling out the annulment forms, but she didn't realize that it would lead up to a blowup at the annulment hearing and force them to get a divorce instead.

The gang went to Joey and Chandler's apartment to tease them for a while. To get away from all the jokes, the guys grudgingly went out to buy wedding rings that afternoon. Joey got a bit tired of walking so much, and had to sit down. He was still seated when Chandler reached down to slip a ring onto his finger.

"Does this fit you?"

Joey tried it on and nodded. "Yeah, that works."

"Okay," Chandler said. "I guess I'll get the same ring, but in my size."

Chandler charged the purchases to his credit card, then called Carol and Susan on his cell phone. "Are you happy now?" he grumbled. "I just blew several hundred dollars and embarrassed myself in front of the snooty jewelry store people." He was having flashbacks to the "bracelet buddies" incident almost four years ago.

"We're just getting started, Chandler! Go ahead and start wearing the rings. We'll come by your place to see them tomorrow."

So Joey and Chandler went home wearing the rings on their fingers. The chick and the duck were interested in the new jewelry, but the guys shooed their pets away, to make sure that neither bird would swallow a ring.

Joey looked pensive. "Do you think those jewelry store people were looking at us weird?"

Chandler nodded. "Yeah, that one guy definitely was. This is the 'discrimination and crap' that Carol and Susan were talking about, you know?"

Joey thought back. "Hey, you know the last time I was in a jewelry store, I bought you that 'best bud' bracelet. The engraver guy at that place looked at me weird too."

Chandler was not surprised. "Same thing when I bought you the other bracelet."

"Oh. And then people were giving us weird looks when we wore them together. That's why we stopped wearing them, right?"

"Right." That, and the fact that Chandler couldn't stand the incredibly tacky bracelets in the first place.

Joey pondered for a moment. "If we told Carol and Susan that we already kind of know what they mean, would they maybe go easy on us?"

"I don't know," Chandler shrugged. Then he suggested playing on the Playstation to take their minds off the whole thing, and Joey agreed.


Phoebe came over later and found them eating dinner. She immediately noticed the wedding rings they wore and giggled. "So you're married now. Kiss the bride!"

Joey blinked. "Which one's the bride?"

"Both of you. No wait, none. Okay, kiss the groom!"

"Phoebe!" Chandler said with exasperation. "It's bad enough that Carol and Susan are doing this to us, with Monica's help. Lay off."

"Sorry, Mr. Can't Take a Joke! Doesn't some teensy tiny part of you think it's a little funny that you and Monica almost got married in Vegas, but now it's you and Joey? I mean, I never predicted this!"

Chandler rolled his eyes. "Because fake marriages aren't your specialty?"

Phoebe ignored him and mused, "Isn't it weird? Ross and Rachel actually did get married in Vegas, but they're annulling it. I once got married in Vegas, but I thought it only counted in Vegas. Then I married Duncan, and he left for six years. But Duncan turned out not to be gay at all, so he basically only needed me for the green card."

Joey rubbed her back comfortingly, but Phoebe wasn't focusing on that old heartache right now.

She sighed. "I mean, with all the crazy messed up marriages and divorces out there, I think that those gay rights people are right. Straight people don't take marriage seriously anymore, and they waste it all the time. Why not give gay couples the right to marry, if they take it seriously and it means so much to them?"

Chandler shrugged. "I'm not against gay marriage. I went to Carol and Susan's wedding. It was nice, despite the fact that no women there would look twice at me."

Phoebe nodded. "Isn't it nice that Carol and Susan have stayed together so long? It'll be their fifth anniversary soon. You want to get together and get them a gift?"

Joey answered, "Okay." After further thought, he added, "Do you think it would make them not so mad at us if we gave them their gift now?"

Phoebe laughed. "No, come on, it's only a month they're asking of you. It could be fun."

"Fun?" Chandler asked. "Where do you see fun in being denied sex, and having to jump through hoops for blackmailers?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Chandler, do you really think that Monica is gonna forgive you in a month and sleep with you again? You decided to fake marry Joey and postpone moving in with her. You're lucky that she says you guys are only taking a break from each other now! Face it, you brought this all on yourself."

Chandler sighed and felt bad. "I guess so. I'm sorry, Joe, for dragging you into this."

Joey patted his hand across the foosball table. "Stop apologizing. At least you got me to have my hernia fixed."

"But I was so stupid! I should have known better. Why did I say that stuff at the coffeehouse?"

"Because you care about me."

"Yeah, but what kind of idiot asks his buddy to fake marry him? Now we've got rings, and--ugh!"

"Chandler!" Joey pulled him closer and kissed his lips, like that time at the New Year's party. Then he let go.

Chandler was stunned, and Phoebe barely stifled her giggles.

Joey said, "Now be a good little husband and stop aggravating me at dinner." He went back to eating his pizza, taking two slices at one time.

Chandler shrugged and shut up. Phoebe burst out laughing and left the apartment. "See, I told you it could be fun." She shut the door behind her.