Part Five

Da Guest List

(Place: Rich Ass Hotel, New York City. Room 117)

To InuYasha: I don't really know how to pronounce MJOLNIR. I guess the M is silent. I just say 'Jol-Ner.'

"Man, I didn't know inviting people could be so difficult," complained John. "Either of us have parents, or siblings, or nunna that crap," John complained to Arbiter.

While John bitched, whined, and complained like a pesky housewife, Arbiter has a better idea—inviting the ENTIRE Covenant…and perhaps some humans.

"I know who you guys can invite," Arbiter said with enthusiasm. "Invite some of your old Spartan buddies, and the whole Covenant."

John looked at Arbiter as if he lost his damn mind.

"Are you nucking futs?"

"No I'm not 'Nucking Futs'. I'm serious. If you and Cortana invite the entire Covenant…and maybe some humans…that way your big day can be a big success. Only one catch." Arbiter puts his arms behind his back and shuffles from hoof to hoof.

"What's the catch?" asks John.

"Um…you gotta invite the Prophets too." Arbiter said sheepishly.

John's face lights up like a Christmas tree.

"Okay, I'll invite them. Just don't let that Grunt named Yo-Yo or Yummy or---"

"Yayap?" Arbiter finished the sentence for John.

"Yeah…whatever. Just don't let Yeah-Yeah eat all the cake during the reception."

"I'll try not to let him eat all the cake. Now, let's get started with the Da Guest List. Let's see," said Arbiter. "Who are you guys inviting…Captain Crunch, Sergeant Rimjob, Miranda Pees---"

"Uh, I think you mean Captain Keyes, Sergeant Johnson, and Miranda Keyes," John interrupted. "Maybe I should do the list."

John takes the notepad from Arbiter. Bad Idea. Now they start fighting over it.

"Gimmit!"

"No!"

"Gimme that notepad, you clinking, clattering, clanging eyesore of a olive green, armor plated P.O.S!"

"Just for that, YOU ain't gonna get it, you eight foot, scrawny, anorexic looking, calamari smelling, hoofed…hoofed…ahhhh what the hell, dag-nab Elite!"

While John and Arbiter are quarrelling, Cortana and Shanisha walk in from the gift shop a few doors down.

"What the hell are you two arguing about?" Cortana yelled in irritation.

Like a pair of little kids, John and Arbiter start talking at the same time.

"He won't let me do the guest list/He's being a jerk/He called me a name/Blah blah blah/Wa wa wa!"

Cortana shakes her head in annoyance.

"I'll do the guest list. That'll solve all that. And stop being babies!"

John and Arbiter hold their heads down in embarrassment.

"Okay, we're sorry. Hey John, wanna play Halo 2?" asks Arbiter with zest in his voice.

"Yeah. But I always kick your ass." Said John.

"So, who are you inviting?" Shanisha asks Cortana.

A mischievous smile creeps on Cortana's face.

"Spartans, Humans, and the whole entire Covenant."