JENNIE

Sunday morning church was the highlight of the week in Chester. It was a staple in our lives, and my father was the man who ran it. And boy, was he good at what he did. I just wished my attention could've been on him more that morning.

"Sit up straight, Jennie Ruby Jane," Mama whisper-shouted at me in the pew on Sunday morning. "A proper lady doesn't slouch."

I sat up straighter and rolled my shoulders back as I listened to Dad preach his sermon. A few people sitting behind us began to whisper, and my ears perked up as Taehyung's name fell from their lips.

"Yeah, he came straight from Rosé's home last night. I wonder if she even knows," they said, making my stomach twist into knots.

"It's sad to see their marriage crumble. I thought they were going to make it."

"Yes well, that's today's generation. They don't even fight for their partner anymore. I heard he wasn't the first one to step out on their relationship."

"It's always the good girls, isn't it?"

I moved to twist around and snap at the gossiping women, but Mama placed a firm hand on my knee and shook her head back and forth slightly.

"Straighter, Jennie Ruby Jane," she told me.

I sat up even more.

"Rumor has it Taehyung wanted a family, but Jennie didn't want to get pregnant. Didn't want to ruin her figure. Even though it looks a bit…different."

"I noticed her weight gain, too. It's a shame."

My mind began to spin as I was forced to sit there and be ridiculed by townsfolk. I wasn't even allowed to stand up for myself because I was Jennie Ruby Jane Kim, the well-behaved angel of Chester, Georgia.

What hurt the most was the fact that those people who were whispering were the same ones hugging me in the marketplace. They smiled to my face while literally talking behind my back.

They're gonna bleed you out till you're nothing, and then they're gonna ask how you died.

I did my best to blink away my tears, too, because the perfect princess never cried.

"Can you just not?!" a voice snapped, making the whole church go silent. Dad stopped preaching, thrown off by the sudden shout. I turned to my left to see Yeri facing the rude individuals, who had looks of shock painted across their face.

"How about you listen to the sermon instead of gossiping about things that you know nothing about?" She then turned back to the front, and the room remained quiet. She nodded once toward our father and cleared her throat, sitting up straighter like the proper princess. "Sorry, Dad. You can continue."

He did exactly that, completely unmoved by the disruption.

After the sermon, I caught Mama giving Yeri a stern talking-to in the corner of the church. I moved in close enough to hear Mama preaching her own words. "How dare you embarrass us like that, Yerimie Rae!"

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't listen to them talk about Jennie like that, and I'm shocked that you could. They have no clue what's going on in her life!"

"That's on them, but it's not your job to educate them on it. Their gossipy ways are between them and Jesus."

"Yes, well, maybe Jesus wasn't listening that closely today, so I decided to join the conversation," Yeri snapped.

She snapped back to Mama.

Who was this new sister of mine, and how could I tell her I loved her with more than words?

"You're acting like a child, Yerimie. Stop it."

"You're acting like those people are your family. You're so concerned with how the church views you that you don't even care how your daughters do. What ever happened to always and always, Mama? When did you stop believing in it?" she asked before walking off in a huff.

I was stunned. Simply stunned. Never in my life have Yeri or I stormed away from Mama. We always waited for her to leave the room in a huff and puff because that was how it was meant to be. We never sassed our mother, and she always had the last word. Until that afternoon.

I felt as if I was in a weird twilight zone, and I hadn't a clue which way was up.

Mama glanced my way and hurried over to me. "Are you happy, Jennie? Are you pleased that your sister is acting out like you now?"

"No," I whispered, shaking my head. "Of course not. Mama, I didn't plan for any of this to happen."

She frowned and shook her head. "But you're not doing anything to fix it."

"What do you mean fix it? My husband left me for my best friend."

"He didn't leave you. Has he spoken of divorce papers?"

I swallowed. "No."

"So he's still your husband."

"Yes, technically, but—"

"I called him last night."

"What do you mean you called him?"

"I called him," she said matter-of-factly.

"Why would you do that?"

"I wanted to hear things from his point of view. I wanted to make sure he was okay."

My heart began to drown once more.

"He cheated on me, Mama. He left me, and you're asking if he's okay?"

She didn't once ask me that question. She never asked if I was okay.

She stood tall, looking as beautiful as ever, and pursed her lips together. "He's still my son-in-law, Jennie. He's our family."

"I'm your daughter," I argued.

"Please listen, Jennie," she whispered. "He said he still loves you."

"He's a liar."

"Bite your tongue," she scolded me. "We have known their family all our lives, and Taehyung Kim wouldn't lie about loving you."

"You'd be surprised at what he could lie about, Mama. Plus, maybe it takes more than love to make a marriage last."

"Yes, it does. It takes forgiveness and prayer," she scolded me.

"She was my best friend. He's dating my best friend. They are still together."

"I know it's messy…" Mama started.

I huffed. "Messy?!" My voice was louder than she liked. "Come on, Mama. You're being ridiculous."

"I am not. People make mistakes, Jennie Ruby Jane, and if you don't show him that you still want him, you'll lose him completely. As his wife, it is your duty to stand by your husband even when he's lost. You have to lead him back home."

"But Rosé—"

"Rosé didn't stand before you and say vows. What she did was horrible, but it is no concern to you, not really. She means nothing to your life. Taehyung means everything. Who are you without Taehyung, Jennie? He's been by your side more than half of your lifetime. You both are a part of each other. Just because the days are dark doesn't mean we stop trying. Youth today are so quick to throw away relationships before even giving them a chance to heal. There's healing in time."

My stomach was in knots, and I hadn't a clue how to respond because I've somewhat been wondering the same thing. Without Taehyung, who was I? He'd been such a big part of my existence that I wasn't certain how to go about living without him.

Our lives had been so tangled that I was almost certain he took parts of me when he untied our love.

Who was I supposed to be now?

Was I even still a person of my own accord?

Without Taehyung, did I even exist?

Yet none of that mattered. Not really.

Because even if I fought for his love, even if I prayed for him to come back to me, he'd still have had an affair with my best friend. If it were a stranger, perhaps I could've moved on. Perhaps I could've found a drop of forgiveness in my soul, but with Rosé?

No.

I'd never be able to trust him again, and every second he was gone from my touch, I'd imagine him embraced in hers.

What kind of life was that to live?

What kind of woman would I be if I melted back into the arms of the man who repeatedly betrayed me?

"You aren't even going to try, are you?" Mama frowned. "You're not going to give him a chance? He'd said he's been calling you."

"I have nothing to say to him."

"Your stubbornness is going to ruin your life."

"Mama…" I whispered, blinking a few times and rubbing the side of my neck. "Can't you just choose me today? If only for one day?"

Not even a glimpse of compassion crossed her face as she glanced around the church. "Jennie, I need you to start acting your age instead of acting out like a child. If you are going to stay in Chester for a while, you need to act appropriately."

"Act appropriately? What are you talking about?"

"You are the daughter of the pastor, which, in turn, makes you the daughter of this town. You have a responsibility to your family, to this town, to show up with a smile and class."

"Mama—"

"I'm serious, Jennie. I don't want to argue, and I'm tired of getting calls from people about how odd you're acting."

"What? What does that even mean?"

"People have been talking about seeing you wandering through town crying and how your whole personality seems"—she cleared her throat—"off. Plus, what were you doing down at that auto shop talking to that—thing?"

"Excuse me? Mama, do you have people spying on me?" I asked, stunned.

"Of course not, Jennie. Don't be ridiculous. But this is a small town, and people do have eyes of their own. You need to stay away from those Manoban's. They are reckless."

"Do you even really know them, Mama? Like really?"

"I know enough."

"From Marco's one mistake years ago."

She huffed. "One mistake? You must be out of your mind to think Mad Marco has only made one mistake."

"You shouldn't call him that," I softly spoke.

"Why? That's what he is—he's insane. Since you've been gone, he's been in and out of the jail cell and piss drunk all over town. He's a pain to this town, and we'd be better off without him and his sinful daughter."

"Sinful daughter? Come on, that's a bit much." I didn't know why, but I felt the way she was judging Lisa was a bit unfair. Yes, she was mean, but could you really blame her for being that way after the town pushed her into that corner?

"Is it? She's a drug addict."

"She got clean."

"Maybe for a minute, but no lowlife like her could ever stay that way. Do you know where women go when they have the devil whispering in their ears about infidelity? Straight into the arms of that disgrace. She has ruined the relationships of many people in this town because of her disgusting habits. She's pretty much a walking STD, and that's why it looks awful when you're seen with her. You are starting rumors that don't even exist just by being seen with her. It looks appalling to have you talk to that monster. You must stay away from Lisa Manoban at all costs."

"Did she come to you for help years ago? About the townspeople attacking her and her father?" I asked.

She shifted around in her heels. "A lot of people come to me for help. I am, after all, the pastor's wife."

"Yes, but did Lisa come to you, asking you to talk to the church about leaving her and her father alone?"

She stuck her nose up in the air. "I don't recall that."

"Well, she does."

"She's a liar, like her father."

"Mama," I whispered, shaking my head. "When did you become so cold? How could you turn your back on her?"

"Those two people didn't deserve my ear after what Mad Marco did to our place of worship. Thousands of dollars in repairs. Someone could've been killed."

"But what does Marco's actions have to do with Lisa? She was just a kid, Mama, and she came to you in her time of need."

"Don't preach to me about being a good person, Jennie Ruby Jane. You have no clue the things I've been through."

"You turned your back on a child."

"They didn't deserve my help. Not after the mess Marco made. Not after the storm he started."

"If you turn your back on one, then you turn your back on all," I said, quoting one of my favorite sermons Dad ever preached.

She knew the words, too.

For a split second, her eyes glassed over as she stared my way, but as soon as she blinked, away went the emotions. "I don't have to explain myself to you. As long as you're staying here, you need to listen to me. You must stay obedient, and you must remain graceful, or else more rumors will start about you. I know that's the last thing you want. Keep your head low and do as you're told. Do you understand me?"

"I'm not a child, Mama."

"Then please," she scolded, "stop acting like one." A few people walked by, and Mama's nerves continued to build. She stood tall and smoothed out her outfit. "You're ruining our name. You're ruining everything we work to protect."

Before I could reply, Dad walked up to us. "Everything okay?"

Mama gave him a hard look. "Are you kidding, Samuel? Didn't you see that scene your daughter made in the church today? Everything is far from okay!"

Dad smiled and shrugged. "I'm sure there will be another scene before the day is over, and people will have already forgotten about that."

"People don't forget in this town, Samuel. You should know that better than anyone," Mama remarked as she smoothed out her dress. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do damage control because it appears I'm the last sane one in this family." She hurried away, and Dad moved closer to me.

He placed his glasses on top of his head, as always, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "You okay, Buttercup?"

I gave him a tight smile. "I'm sorry about all that, Dad. I know me coming home hasn't been the easiest for anyone."

"You coming home has been the greatest thing in this world. Don't ever apologize to me, Jennie. You and your sister are my greatest blessings." He kissed my forehead and pulled me into a hug. "Always and always."

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Don't let go yet, okay?"

He tightened the hug and placed his chin on top of my head. "Okay."