At home that evening, Carol and Susan made love for a bit, since Ben was being babysat at a friend's house. Then the wives playfully called Joey and Chandler's apartment, hoping to say something like, "Get well soon," but they got a busy signal.
Susan hung up. "Either that phone's off the hook, or Chandler's computer is online."
"Which means sex anyhow, as Chandler's always downloading porn."
"Hey--why didn't they think to use the computer for porn? We punished them for almost three weeks, and their phone line was always available."
"Oh yeah! Chandler must be dumber than we thought."
"Or that hot for Joey's body."
"Well, that's a given."
So after a further snuggle, the wives lay in bed and discussed the coming out party.
(The night that Monica broke up with Chandler, Carol and Susan didn't really cancel the guys' coming out party, which was originally scheduled for that weekend. Rather, they had merely postponed the party for another week and changed the guests of honor. Their new plan was to prepare Monica and Rachel for coming out, first to a dozen or so supportive strangers, then to their circle of friends and ex-lovers.)
When postponing the party, Carol and Susan had explained to their invited guests that Joey and Chandler had suddenly revealed that they weren't gay; they were only covering for Monica and Rachel, the real roommates who were gay and in need of guidance.
Now, however, it looked like Joey and Chandler were gay after all, so Carol and Susan wondered if they needed to rethink their plans.
Susan said, "I wonder whether Chandler will even be upset when he finds out that Monica and Rachel are together. I mean, he's with Joey now."
"Even if they're doing it like bunnies, does that mean Chandler will really admit to himself that he turned out like his father? I mean, he occasionally speaks to his mother, awful as she is, but Chandler didn't even visit or mention Mr. Bing when the six of them were in Vegas a couple of months ago."
"Yeah, talk about forgetting that somebody exists," Susan tsked disapprovingly.
Carol shrugged. "Was I ever that much in denial? Chandler didn't even realize he was Joey's sugar daddy, and he apparently thought up this whole insurance scheme as a way to be with Joey, if only in name."
Susan sighed. "Yeah, and maybe Joey thinks this is only some harmless fooling around. His casual attitude to screwing lots of women doesn't speak much for his ability to commit."
"Then why is he staying home with Chandler, even though we were there to give him the night off? He could have screwed plenty of women on his first night of freedom."
"You've got a point there. I just hope Joey and Chandler see that too."
Ross lay in bed, basking in the afterglow of yet another attempt at conception. Phoebe snuggled up to him and, despite the fact that her body was always faster than Western medicine, she felt in no rush to take a pregnancy test yet. It was just so cozy here.
Ross sighed and twirled a strand of Phoebe's long blond hair around his finger. "Tell me again how long we can keep having sex once you're pregnant?"
Phoebe grinned. "As long as I feel like it. You read the baby books yourself."
He nodded, "I know, but when I found out that Carol was pregnant, we were already divorced by then. She was living with Susan and having sex with her, not me. The most I got was a chance to talk to her belly and feel the baby kick."
Phoebe kissed him. "Well, this time, Mommy's gonna want Daddy around, especially during the fourth month. Yeah, the fourth month," she sighed at the memory of her sexual frustration the last time around. "I promise we'll do it at least three times a week that month, and it'll sure make up for holding back my hair during my morning sickness."
Ross smiled. "Well, I'd hold your hair anyway, Pheebs. God, I missed so many great pregnancy moments with Carol, and I'm not gonna miss them with you. Whatever you want, from the midnight cravings for weird food, to the leg cramps, I'll be there for you. Just say the word."
Phoebe chuckled. "Will you wear your beeper with the number 55-JIMBO?"
"Yeah," he nodded, "but I'll have to find it first. I think I put it--"
Phoebe stopped him from leaving the bed. "What's the rush? We still don't know if I'm pregnant yet. Do you feel up to trying again?"
Ross smiled and kissed her passionately. "I'll try it as many times as you want."
After Joey and Chandler finished their steamy fantasy in the bathtub, they left the bathroom and returned to bed to recover. They still had no intention of stopping for the night yet, so until they were ready to start again, they let their wet slippery bodies mingle in the bedsheets and kissed each other frantically. At last, Joey's erection returned and they hurried to get into the positions they'd agreed on earlier. They both wanted it badly because, as good as oral sex and various kinds of rubbing could be, they were each too used to regular sex to give it up.
Quickly retrieving a condom and some lube, Joey bit the back of Chandler's neck to make him shiver with anticipation. Then Joey got him ready and began pushing into him from behind.
Chandler gasped softly and closed his eyes. He had let Joey use fingers and improvised sex toys before, but now he was taking Joey's "little general" inside for the first time. It didn't hurt as bad as Chandler thought it might, but it was indeed a challenge for his tight muscles to accommodate. He still wanted to do it, though, wriggling around until they gradually worked Joey completely inside.
"Oh, baby," Joey sighed and ran a hand in front to fondle Chandler again. "You ready?"
Opening his eyes, Chandler clutched the bed sheets and nodded.
So Joey began thrusting, and their lust took over. They grunted and strained like animals in heat, becoming sweaty and sticky all over. Joey kept a tight grip on Chandler's hips as he pounded rhythmically into him, and Chandler bucked and shouted, "Yes! Yes! Oh God!"
In another time and place Chandler would have been disturbed by liking this position so much, but for now he couldn't even remember his name, much less a time when he didn't want to be pounded into the mattress by Joey.
Finally they both came, one after the other, and then collapsed upon the bed.
Joey gently withdrew and caught his breath before he snuggled up close to Chandler. "I love you," he whispered sleepily.
Chandler opened his eyes. "What?"
Joey blinked and corrected himself, "I love fucking you."
But Chandler turned to him and looked upset. "Stop it. Don't say stuff like that."
Joey sat up, looking concerned. "Like what?"
"Like--like love. I know you don't mean it. I know better."
Joey frowned and caressed his cheek worriedly. Seeing the lonely despair in Chandler's eyes, Joey risked asking, "What if I do mean it? I've always loved you as a friend, and now we're--"
"No!" Chandler shook his head. "No, this isn't us! This isn't--" He gestured to their wedding rings. "It's just, it's just this fake marriage messing with our minds. One of these days you'll snap out of it and want girls again. Then you'll leave me here, and I'll have to figure out what to do, and I don't even know what I want anymore." He gulped. "Maybe I am gay or something, but--but I know you're not, Joe. I know what you're like when you haven't been all confused and sex-deprived for a month."
"But I could change. I could--"
"Stop it!" Chandler insisted. "You're just trying to be nice 'cause I need you right now, but please don't lie to me, even if you think you mean it. It'll only hurt more when you're gone."
"Chandler..."
"Stop it!" He broke down into tears and then buried his head against Joey's shoulder.
Joey was stunned and disheartened. He held Chandler close and tried to murmur comforting things, but Chandler kept shushing him and only wanted the silent comfort of his arms.
So Joey reluctantly gave up for now, but tried to think of some way to convince Chandler that the feelings they'd discovered in bed together were real. In fact, as Joey realized lately, he had been wanting Chandler for years now, and had felt genuinely disappointed and even a bit jealous when he first learned that Chandler slept with Monica in London.
Perhaps if Joey let Chandler be on top? Perhaps if he removed their wedding rings and showed Chandler that the desire had nothing to do with the fake marriage? Perhaps if he explained about his long-standing crush whenever Chandler would actually agree to listen? Perhaps if he got advice from Carol and Susan?
With a heavy sigh, Joey regretted letting the "I love you" slip so soon. Perhaps if he had waited until a few weeks had passed, Chandler would have slowly realized that Joey didn't want to leave him to return to girls, didn't want to give up their wedding rings. Maybe then Chandler could have believed in the sincerity of their new relationship.
Joey wasn't sure what to do now, but he knew he'd do whatever it took to show Chandler his love.
