JENNIE
Each day that passed felt like a dream intermixed with nightmares. I saw both Rosé and Taehyung almost every time I left the house, and when I didn't see them, they still crossed my mind. My thoughts were trying their best to destroy me, but novels and Lisa both served as great distractions.
Even when the world was dark, words in books existed. Therefore, I knew there would always be light around me even on the darkest of days. I often wondered if that was why Lisa read, too—for a few moments of light.
When I arrived at The Silent Bookshop, Lisa was sitting in her corner, and when she looked up, she smiled right away, revealing that left dimple. I hoped that was a new regular thing—her smiling my way.
I smiled back and walked to my corner. When I got there, I saw a book sitting on my table with a Post-it note on it. The novel was The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas, and the note read:
I think you might like this, Princess.
-Oscar
My fingers ran over the cover, and I sat down and read for what felt like hours. The way the words pulled me in and didn't want to let me go made my heart beat faster and faster. You knew a book was amazing when you missed the transition from the sun shining to the sky fading to black. I sat back there until the store was about to close, and then I walked to the front counter where Momo's mom, Betty, was working.
She looked just like her daughter with those same loving eyes, and she signed my way as she said, "You've been here for quite a while—I'm guessing it's a good read."
"Better than good," I told her, holding the book to my heart as my eyes watered over. "It's one of those stories that just makes you want to yell and scream all at once." It was the kind of book that made your chest ache, and even though you want to put it down to take a breath, you'd rather flip the page to know more than worry about such a small thing like breathing.
Lisa was right; I did love the story.
"I saw Lisa leave it back there on the table for you," she mentioned as she rang me up. "Are you two friends?"
"No," I answered quickly. "But we aren't enemies either."
She signed, "She's a good person."
She was the first person I'd ever heard say such a thing about Lisa Manoban.
"She's broken," she continued, "but good."
The idea that broken things could still be good was a thought that would stay with me for a while.
"I'm starting to see that in her—the goodness," I told her.
"Her mother was in the same car accident with my husband the night of that huge thunderstorm. Did you know that?"
"Oh my gosh, no…I had no clue."
"Yeah. She was just a girl when she lost her mother. She adored her mom, and her mom adored her. After she passed away, I think a big part of her died, too, which is sad. I watched her go from this quiet girl in town to this bad seed. She loved her more than anything and losing someone that close to you is enough to make a person's mind go dark. So her coming here to this bookshop means a lot for me. Even though she doesn't speak my way or let me close, it's almost as if I can watch over her. I'm sure that's what her mother would've wanted. It's what I would've wanted for Momo if I ever passed away. Someone to look after my loved one."
"You're a good woman, Betty."
She smiled. "And she's a good woman."
"Is it okay if I leave a book in her corner for her to find tomorrow?" I asked her.
"Of course, honey. I won't move it."
Walking back into the bookshop, I went in search of a novel to leave for Lisa. I thought back to books I'd read, and which ones made my heart race, wondering which one might do the same for Lisa.
My fingers landed on Long Way Down by Jason Reynold.
It had been a stay-up-all-night novel for me.
I grabbed it and a Post-it note and wrote:
It's written in verse,
and you'll feel each word within it.
-Princess
We kept it up, too, exchanging notes with different books. It was good to escape my current reality into the world of novels. Plus, Lisa had great taste in books, which made it easier to fall into every single word. Each time I found a Post-it note, I felt as if I was walking into a new adventure. Even though the words we exchanged were only on small pieces of paper, I felt as if I was learning more about the hard woman who didn't let people in.
I was finally zooming in on the town's black sheep, and she was zooming right back in on me.
This one will hurt you.
Let it.
-Oscar
This one will heal you.
Let it.
-Princess
This heroine reminds me of you.
She cries on every page.
-Oscar
This hero's a total jerk.
Are you related to him?
-Princess
The last book you gave me was
fucking sad. Is the town's good girl
really that dark inside?
I loved it. Now, read this one, which is even darker.
-Oscar
You always give me books that make me cry.
-Princess
I've learned it's not too hard to bring you to tears.
-Oscar
Wow. Wow. Wow.
Five-star read.
More like this, please?
-Princess
Saw you at the bakery today. Your eyes looked sad.
Here's a book you can't help but laugh at.
-Oscar
She'd noticed me in town when I hadn't even seen her. It made me think of all the times I saw her walking around town with Kai in her arms, or just exploring when she didn't know I'd seen her.
How many times had we stealthily noticed one another?
I started reading the novel she'd left me, and she was right—I couldn't stop giggling. I was shushed a few times by others in the bookshop for my laughter being too loud, but I couldn't help it. Sometimes, the best thing for a sad heart is a book that makes you laugh.
I knew I wouldn't be able to get through the next few chapters without breaking into a giggling fest, so I stood to go back to Yeri's to read in my bedroom where I wouldn't bother anyone.
As I walked through the space, I thought about the characters in the novel and kept giggling to myself. Then I passed Lisa's corner, and she looked up at me.
I gave her half of a grin and held the book to my chest. "Thank you," I mouthed.
She gave me the other half of my smile and nodded once before looking back down at her book. A half smile from Lisa Manoban felt like so much more than the average person's full-blown grin.
