Mistakes?

I woke up in a cold sweat. I looked around to see that I wasn't inside an old Ford. I had been having nightmares about this evening. I took a deep breath and looked at my clock it read 2:00 am. I sighed. I knew I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep yet so I got up and went to the living room and sat on the couch. I grabbed a blanket and curled up. I started crying. I thought I had been ok with what happened but I wasn't. I was so scared, well scared isn't the right word…shaken, but more then that. I don't know. I don't know how long I had been sitting there when someone burst through the door. I stood up and saw Steve. I ran over to him and grabbed his arm. He looked up and said weakly,

"Hey Soph" that was the gang's nick name for me.

"What happened?" I demanded. I looked at him more closely and noticed that his lip was bleeding and he had a black eye.

"Nothing" he turned away from me.

"You know as well as I do its not just nothing" I helped him to the couch and he sat down. I went to the bathroom and got a wash cloth and some bandages then went to the kitchen and got some ice. I wrapped the ice in the wash cloth and went back to Steve. I was used to cleaning people up with all the fights that my brothers got into. I sat with him as he sat with the ice in his eyes. I gave him some Aspirins and water. He drank the water greedily and laid his head back. I put the glass away and walked back.

"Now tell me what happened" he looked away then sighed.

"My dad" I gasped.

"What!" he was quiet.

"Your dad did this to you?" he nodded.

"But he's never physically hurt you before!"

"I know" he put his head in his hands and I moved closer. Steve's dad made him mad a lot but he had never actually physically hurt him.

"I don't know! He was drunk and I just came home and I was a little quiet and when I didn't tell him what was wrong he flipped!" he took several deep breaths. I sat there with him for a while then something occurred to me.

"Why were you quiet?" he looked at me and said,

"I guess I was…worried about you, you didn't seem alright with what happened" I looked away. I don't know why but I started crying again.

"See I was right you are not ok" I wiped the tears from my eyes quickly and answered,

"I'm fine"

"Listen that guy, he was good"

"What do you mean by that?" What in the world was he thinking!

"I mean it wasn't your fault that he did that to you" I looked at him funny. Then it occurred to me that he was right about what I was thinking, I did think it was my fault.

"Guys like that make it a full time job to do that to girls, they know exactly how to trick them" I started thinking about it again, I started shaking. Even though he had solved one problem I was still scared. He sighed.

"He ain't gonna hurt anymore" I don't know why I did what I did. I put my arms around his neck and started crying into his shirt. He gently rubbed my back saying it was ok. I let go of his neck and leaned on his shoulder and fell asleep.

Next morning I woke up on the couch with a blanket over me. I sat up and looked around for Steve. I saw him fast asleep Darry's chair. I looked at the time and it was six in the morning. I groaned I had a rough night. I got up and walked to my room and put on a blue T-shirt and jean shorts. I went to the kitchen to see all the guys there. I looked over and saw Steve sitting on the couch with Two-Bit on the couch arguing over the radio. He looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back. I walked to the kitchen table and sat down beside Ponyboy and Johnny. They were talking about some paper that Pony had to write. Darry and Soda were making breakfast, and Dally was standing in the corner smoking.

"Good morning Soph" said Soda.

"Morning" I replied.

"How you feelin today?" he really was a protective brother.

"Um ok" he nodded, and then went back to making the pancakes purple.

After breakfast I decided I needed some quiet time. I went to my room and got out my drawing pad. I was surprised to find that it my drawing of my dream guy was turning out ok. Then I heard a knock on my door I quickly shoved my drawing pad under my pillow and said,

"Come in" Soda walked in and sat on my bed.

"Steve told me what happened last night, I thought you were fine" he had real concern in his eyes.

"Well um I thought I was"

"You told me you were ok this morning"

"I know" he moved closer to me on my bed.

"Listen we're twins you can tell me anything"

"Anything?"

"Yeah anything" I grinned I knew exactly how to make him wish that he hadn't said that.

"Well if I can tell you anything then what you think of my nails, are they to shiny?" he laughed.

"Now serious, are you ok?" I sighed then I spilled. I told him everything every detail about the night and what I was feeling. I really was scared. Would my life change now? Would Danielle and I be able to go to another party and not be afraid of the same thing happening again? Would I be able to trust another guy? After I was done talking I leaned back against my pillows.

"Move over" said Soda as I moved over and let him lay beside me.

"Listen, I know that you're scared but you cant stay that was forever, just take a break from going to parties and then when you feel up to it you can party again. It's normal to be afraid of things like that to happen again but you can't let it control your life"

"You're right. Thanks Soda" I sat up and hugged him. I really do love him.

Later that day Danielle called to ask me if I wanted to have a "girls day" it sounded pretty fun so I invited her over. When she got there we went to the mall. I had been saving up some money from odd jobs and I decided might as well spend it. I told her all about the night before, and how Steve had been so considerate.

"You know you would have never guessed that he could be a softy" she said as she leaned up against the change room door as I tried on some stuff.

"Yeah I know, I mean I have basically known him all my life and never once has he been that soft" I tossed out some pants.

"Maybe he likes you"

"Oh come on that is so junior high" she laughed.

"Well you never know, I mean sooner or later one of the guys will fall for you"

"What makes you say that?"

"They see you all the time and they have known you a long time" I digested that idea.

"I guess so" I came out with a beautiful dark pink dress that just came up over my knees.

"Buy that!" said Danielle right away. But I had already made up my mind. At the end of the day I ended up spending all of my money. I automatically felt better.

After supper the guys went to play football. I usually like to join them but not tonight I needed time to think. I was sitting on the couch reading a book when Steve came in the door.

"Hey Steve, what are you doing in here?"

"I just had to go to the washroom" I nodded and got back to work. After he came back he sat down beside me. I looked up from my book and looked at him.

"Whatcha reading?" he asked. This was not normal.

"Um Gone With the Wind its Pony's favorite"

"That's nice"

"What to do you want?" You might as well get right to the point.

"What makes you think that I want anything?"

"You're asking me about my book"

"Oh yeah well…" Then the unthinkable happened. He leaned over and kissed me. He pulled away and looked at me.

"Oh my God" I sat there in disbelief. But I liked it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer and kissed him. I couldn't believe how nice his lips were. I have dated a lot of guys but never once have I kissed someone who had such gentle, soft lips. Just then I heard the guys coming. Steve pulled away smiled and walked to the bathroom I guess he didn't want the guys to know so I grabbed my book and started reading. The guys burst through the door and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. I heard the toilet flush and Steve walked out. He caught my eye and winked. I smiled.

"Steve man what took you so long we lost!" said Soda. Steve just shrugged and sat down beside Dally.