Sitting on their couch after dinner, Rachel had Monica's legs in her lap and was rubbing her bare feet lovingly, but she noticed that Monica wasn't relaxing at all. "You still worried about Saturday, honey?"
Monica nodded and frowned anxiously. "Yeah. I was just thinking, the two of us couldn't have picked two worse guys to have as exes, could we?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Chandler was traumatized by his parents' divorce, and his dad becoming a drag queen in Vegas. And Ross, you know, became a jealous freak after Carol left him for Susan. Both of them have already had gay people mess up their lives, and now we're just dumping on top of that."
"But sweetie, Ross has a good relationship with Carol now, and Susan too. As for Chandler... well, he doesn't exactly have any relationship with his dad as far as I know, but it's not like he was insanely prejudiced against Carol and Susan, or all the lesbians at their wedding."
"I'm just afraid that this will send him over the deep end. Like Ross and his third marriage."
"But Mon, think about how Ross is behaving now. After our Vegas wedding and his lying to me about the annulment, I thought he went over the deep end and might need years of therapy to recover. But ever since he and Phoebe have made plans to be parents together, he has been so great. So loving, and kind, and mentally stable... It's like he's a whole new man. Actually, he's more like the old, sweet Ross I used to know when we were dating."
Monica raised her eyebrows. "You don't want to go back to him, do you?"
"What? Oh, no, no!" Rachel kissed her lover reassuringly. "I meant how sweet Ross was at the beginning of our relationship, before Mark and all the ugly paranoia kicked in. I have not forgotten that, believe me. I love you now, Mon. I really do. My point was that Ross is getting over his madness nowadays. He's recovering, all because of Phoebe and their coming baby. I think that maybe Ross was trying to hold onto me so desperately because he was afraid he'd never have someone to love again; that he'd never have the family that he wanted with Carol."
"Yeah, he does seem very happy now," Monica agreed.
"Right! So, even if Chandler goes over the deep end after we tell him about us, there's always hope that he'll recover again. We can, like, set him up with women so that he can be happy again. Or, if he's not ready for a new relationship yet, Joey can take him to strip clubs and singles bars. Or maybe he'd respond to therapy, or even Janice, if she's available. Whatever it takes, Mon."
Monica came closer and hugged her. "You really think there's hope?"
"Absolutely." Rachel kissed her and patted Monica's thigh.
Monica sighed and put her head on Rachel's shoulder, "You always know what to say, Rach. I'm so lucky to have you."
Rachel smiled and brushed the hair back from her face. "And I'm lucky to have you! I wish we had got together years ago. Then we could have skipped all those disastrous relationships with Barry, and Paolo, and Ross, and Joshua."
"And Ethan, and Fun Bobby, and Pete, and Chandler."
"You don't want to put Richard on that list?"
"Well, everything would have worked there, except for him not wanting kids."
Rachel pouted. "Now you're making me jealous of Richard!"
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Monica hugged her. "I'm over him now, I swear. I told you, I felt nothing for Richard even when I was with Chandler."
"Well, good! And for your information, I'm okay with us having kids later. Although we'll need a man, or a sperm bank, to help us out with that."
"That's fine with me!" Monica smiled. "Hey, I know something we can do without a man, or a sperm bank."
Rachel laughed and kissed her, then they got off the couch and raced each other to Monica's bedroom this time. When they got on the bed, they started to undress each other.
"Hey, wait," Monica spoke nostalgically, "remember our first night together?"
"How could I forget? It was less than a month ago, and it was a very hot night."
"Yes, it was! I never did anything like that before."
"You could have fooled me! You were a natural."
Monica kissed her and lay back against the pillows sexily. "Really?"
Rachel nodded. "Really. Oh, I can remember it now... The locksmith had left, and you showed me your secret closet." She spanked Monica playfully. "I couldn't believe you'd been holding out on me so long, you sneaky girl! I said with a gasp, 'You're messy, Monica! And you complain about my messes!' You kept trying to tell me that it was only stuff that didn't belong in any category, but I saw through your excuses. I said, 'Admit it! You're just a messy, dirty girl like me, and we have more in common than most people think.'"
Monica laughed. "Dirty girls."
"Yeah." Rachel leaned in and kissed her nose, whispering, "We're just a couple of dirty girls."
"Yeah."
Rachel continued the story. "You were embarrassed, so you locked up your messy closet again and told me that you were gonna go to sleep. I knew you weren't tired, though, so I followed you to your room and kept teasing you about the mess. You tried to push me out the door, but I tickled you and you shrieked. You tried to fight me off, but we kept tickling and wrestling until we landed on your bed together."
Monica nodded and pulled Rachel against her body. "We were this close, and our eyes met... And then I got embarrassed again and pulled away from you. I said, 'I'm sorry. I've just, you know, been very horny lately, without Chandler.'"
"Yeah, then I said, 'I understand, but you have to be strong, Monica.' You said you were still very mad at him, especially now that he and Joey had searched our apartment for the porn. You said you weren't gonna forgive Chandler yet, but it was still very hard to wait a whole month, so I asked you if my erotic novels and vibrator were helping you. You said it wasn't quite the same as having someone, and I said it depends on the someone. Some guys do it so badly that I'd prefer a vibrator and my own hands."
Monica laughed out loud. "Then we started talking about various guys we'd done it with, but I made you promise not to tell me anything about you and Ross."
"Not that I wanted to talk about Ross! After that whole annulment fiasco, I was certainly ready to forget him, no matter how good he was at sex."
"Rachel!"
"Sorry." She kissed Monica apologetically. "And then we started talking about what we liked sexually, and the perfect kiss, and we were both getting horny. And we joked about being dirty girls, and I told you how I made out with Melissa at my sorority luau, and things got all sweaty, and blurry..."
Monica nodded. "And then you kissed me. I wondered if I should stop this, because I was only on a break from Chandler, but then I thought, it didn't really count. It was just fooling around with a girlfriend, like you did with Melissa, and Mindy at camp. And then we just kept kissing and kissing, and I couldn't think about anything anymore."
"Me neither," Rachel said softly, then kissed Monica deeply and started to slide off her panties now. "Oh, Mon, I'm so glad we decided that we weren't just fooling around anymore. I couldn't take it if I had to give you up ever."
"I couldn't give you up either." Monica stroked her blond hair and kissed her shoulder, meanwhile reaching around to unhook her bra.
After clearing away the dinner dishes, Joey and Chandler left the TV on for the birds, then went to Joey's bedroom together.
"Is it all right?" Joey asked, holding onto Chandler's hand tightly.
Chandler was nervous. "Just for tonight?"
Joey nodded. "Yeah, just for tonight. Just to try it. See what it feels like."
"O-okay," he spoke reluctantly, trying to be brave.
Joey kissed him, and they sat down on the bed. Watching Chandler's eyes the whole time, he removed both their wedding rings and placed them aside on the nightstand.
Chandler felt awful; he hadn't parted with his ring since he bought it a month ago, and it was almost like a security blanket.
Joey hugged him reassuringly and whispered in his ear, "It was just a ring, Chandler. A ring for a fake marriage. This," he kissed Chandler softly, "this is real."
"Are you sure? I--" his words were cut off by another kiss.
Joey pulled him closer and kissed him passionately. They started to undress each other, a ritual that had become automatic for them after a week of sleeping together.
Once they were naked, they got under the covers and started making love in earnest. Chandler moaned softly and closed his eyes, amazed that Joey still wanted to touch him, even after his confession at dinner. He had feared that Joey would hate him, but he wasn't upset at all.
Joey slowly stroked Chandler's erection and offered, "You wanna do me again?"
Chandler shook his head, not feeling that he could do that to Joey two nights in a row. He didn't want to push his luck. "No, do me tonight. I want you." He kissed Joey and then rolled over to his accustomed position, on his knees.
Joey frowned and turned him back over with a kiss. "Hey, can't we do it face to face this time?"
"Face to face?" Chandler raised his eyebrows.
"I wanna keep kissing you. I wanna see your face when we're together."
Chandler shrugged and said, "If you want to."
"I do." Joey wished that he'd show more enthusiasm for this idea, but whenever they had coupled this past week, Chandler was more interested in sex and comfort than romance and love. Joey wanted to make tonight special and different, if he could.
So he propped up Chandler's butt with a couple of pillows, then moved in close between his legs. It didn't take much preparation to open up Chandler anymore, but Joey still took his time, so that he could linger on kissing and teasing Chandler tenderly.
"Mmm, Joey..." He completely relaxed as Joey spread lube all around and inside his hole. His body was hot with anticipation, and he started stroking himself.
"Open your eyes," Joey said, as he put on a condom. "Look at me."
Chandler wasn't sure why it mattered, but then Joey started to enter him, leaning over him and meeting his eyes intensely. Chandler blushed and felt Joey's steady gaze burning into him; he felt nervous somehow, as if he were losing his virginity again. The eye contact made what they were doing seem very real, and he realized that Joey wasn't pretending that he was screwing a girl; Joey truly saw him and felt him and wanted him. Had this been true every night they were intimate?
Joey pushed deeper and deeper into him, then kissed him and pushed his tongue inside as well. The combined sensations made Chandler gasp and tremble, realizing how closely joined they were. Then Joey shifted his weight and started to move, still covering Chandler in kisses. But they found the angle of penetration awkward, so Joey confined himself to making shallow thrusts while he reached to wrap Chandler's legs around him.
After adjusting their positions for comfort and pleasure, Joey ended the kisses and pulled backward to meet Chandler's eyes again. Now he thrust harder and faster, aiming for Chandler's prostate with a fiery passion.
Gasping again, Chandler clung to Joey's shoulders and started to understand that Joey was saying "I love you" without words. Joey was showing him that this wasn't some temporary lust arising from convenience; this was a real, meaningful love, built on all their years together as friends and roommates... and now lovers.
"Joey! Ohh!" He also recalled Joey's confessions about his secret crush and prank phone calls.
Joey grunted and had to close his eyes now as the sensations became more intense. He was almost there, and so was Chandler, judging by his moaning and writhing.
Chandler was overwhelmed by the emotional intimacy that he felt with Joey; they weren't even wearing their wedding rings now, and that realization sent him over the edge. He cried out incoherently, and his clenching muscles sparked off Joey's climax as well.
After the crash, they collapsed together. Then Joey blinked and looked up at Chandler's face again, trying to catch his breath and speak.
Chandler spoke first. "I... I love you too."
Amazed and happy, Joey kissed him with all his heart.
