Carol looked at her ex-husband worriedly. "Are you all right, Ross?"
Still rather stunned, Ross turned to her, and he began to realize something. "You knew, didn't you? You and Susan?"
Carol nodded and explained, "Yes, for a week now. Rachel and Monica told us first because they needed advice about how to tell you, without hurting you."
"So you told them to tell me this now? Like this?"
"Um... yes." She suddenly felt very guilty, as if she had just ruined his whole baby shower, or even his whole life. Maybe she had misjudged how badly Ross would take the news. Would he think of this as some betrayal? Some conspiracy to turn all the women he loved into lesbians?
Susan said, "We wanted to get Joey and Chandler here too, but they didn't want to see Monica this soon, so that's why it's just you now. We're gonna go tell them in a minute too. Sorry. We didn't intend to gang up on you like this."
Ross nodded and still spoke slowly, as if all his reactions were delayed. "Yeah, I-I understand. Thanks for waiting until all the guests were gone."
"Sure."
All the women still stared at him uncomfortably, waiting for him to break down or scream at them or have any other discernible reaction.
He just sat there on the couch holding tightly onto Phoebe's hand. Phoebe pressed back and kept watching his face.
Monica and Rachel sat down in front of him, not sure whether they should continue with their speech.
But Rachel felt that she really owed Ross an apology, so she said earnestly, "Believe me, Ross, I never meant to go from you to your sister. This was not something I planned or even imagined happening. I-I just think that my feelings for you and my feelings for Monica got tangled up somehow, until I didn't know what I wanted. I am so, so sorry that I suggested we get married in Vegas, Ross. It's wrong for me to keep jerking you around and leading you on like that. You should be free to find someone else and be happy." She tried to be firm in her encouragement. "You *should* be happy, Ross! You can and you should, and it should have nothing to do with me."
Still seeing no response on his face, she sat back and sighed. "I mean, I-I do know that you've loved me for a long time, Ross, and I know us telling you this probably hurts a lot right now, but please, please don't give up on yourself. Don't get all depressed about your three divorces again and go nuts about how you've lost me again. Please don't do that, Ross. Believe me, you can be happy without me if you just try. You can be strong and get through this, just like you got over Carol eventually. Just look at all the good things that are happening for you right now! You're having a baby with Phoebe. You've got the new job at NYU. You've got a new car and a new apartment. And we're all still here for you, Ross. We're all your friends, and we all really care about you, and we will all help you get past this."
Ross nodded and seemed to smile a little when she reminded him of the good things in his life. That seemed to be a positive sign, though he still didn't release his grip on Phoebe's hand yet. He swallowed and tried to compose his thoughts so he could respond. "Uh--thank you, Rach. I, I'm--do you really love Monica? You're not just, um, fooling around with her as some sort of rebound fling from Chandler?"
Rachel shook her head, and Monica told him honestly, "No, we're really in love, Ross. I'm sorry."
"No, that's--that's okay. That's good. I shouldn't have even asked, you know. I mean, you wouldn't have gone to all this trouble to tell me this if you guys weren't serious about each other, right?"
"Right." They nodded together.
"Well, good. So I-I guess you're going to go tell Joey and Chandler now. Good luck."
Monica and Rachel hesitated to leave, glancing to their mentors for advice. Susan shook her head and gestured that they should stay put.
Carol came closer and reached to touch his shoulder. "Wait, are you sure that you're all right, Ross? You don't want to talk about this some more?"
Ross shrugged and clung to Phoebe's hand. "Well, I--I do have one more question."
"Sure, anything. What is it?"
All the women leaned close to listen and respond to him. To their surprise, Ross turned to face Phoebe and asked her, "You're not a lesbian too, are you?"
Ah, so he did suspect that all the women he knew were turning gay.
Phoebe answered him quite seriously, "No, but--but I am bisexual."
Ross blinked. "You are?"
Monica and Rachel also looked very surprised, but Carol and Susan already had their suspicions because Phoebe had flirted with some of their friends at the lesbian wedding.
Phoebe nodded and shrugged, brushing Ross's face with her hand. "Yeah, um, I'm no innocent you know. I-I did a lot of things when I was homeless for years. Traveling around the country, ending up in Prague, getting back to America, only to stab a cop and end up in prison just like my stepdad. So I had plenty of chances to experiment both ways, and most of it was pretty good. Well, then I got into aromatherapy and yoga through Bonnie at the Y. Then I got my guitar and I learned how to massage so I could get a job and get off the streets. I moved in with Monica and thought she was cute, but she seemed like totally repressed then and didn't respond to me, so I decided to just be friends with her and go back to dating guys. Not that I didn't have a fling sometimes if I couldn't find any good guys around. But yeah, I am bi, Ross. Are you, are you gonna forgive me too?"
"Forgive you?" Ross looked at her tenderly and kissed her hands. "I'm--I'm not mad. Why would I be? That's your life and who you are and everything. I mean, I'm not mad at anybody here. Did you guys think I was mad?" He looked around at all of them.
They nodded and simultaneously murmured in confusion.
"Yeah, after how badly you took my coming out and our divorce--"
Susan said, "You hated me for a long time, Ross."
"How can you be so calm about this?"
"Ross, are you really okay with us?"
Ross looked at his friends apologetically and explained his reaction. "I'm sorry. I-I was just stunned, and, and overwhelmed by the deja vu I guess. I got flashbacks to the night that Carol told me, and it was kind of hard to think while I was reliving it. But, um, what you said to me there, Rach, that was really nice and sweet and touching and true, so how could I get mad after that? You really put everything into perspective, you know, and I'm happy for you and Monica. I really am. I don't know how Chandler's gonna take hearing this, but I'm not upset about it."
"Really?"
"Yeah." He nodded. "I mean, I'll admit, when Carol first left me, I didn't handle it that well, and I was messed up for a long time. You guys should know; you all came up with that theory about me becoming paranoid about girlfriends cheating on me. But um, I guess I'm finally over it now. After all these years, and Phoebe helping me, and--" He stopped and looked at Phoebe directly again. He gazed into her eyes and brushed the hair back from her face.
"I like myself when I'm with you, Pheebs," he whispered sincerely. "I like being with you, being sane, being whole... I-I think you're the one who finally got me over Rachel. The one who helped me let go and see that she was a high school crush that I idealized too much and got too obsessed about. You're the one that--that made me stop wallowing in self-pity and start living life again. Making plans, having fun, getting excited about a baby--I'm finally looking forward, instead of backward. I love being with you and laughing and talking and, and--I love *us*." Then he frowned and furrowed his brows sadly. "In fact, I wish--I mean, um, is there any way... any way that you could consider...?"
"What, Ross?" Phoebe had an inkling of what he meant, but didn't dare believe it yet.
The others were staring at them in utter amazement as they realized what was going on.
Ross shrugged and looked shy, staring down at their joined hands as he struggled to find words. "Does, um, does being bi mean that, that maybe you might be happy staying with me like this? Might want to be a real family someday or--?" Then he frowned and lost his nerve to even ask the question. "I mean, um, if you don't want to, if you'd rather keep exploring your options, I'd, I'd understand." He gulped and looked visibly troubled and upset. "I mean, I wouldn't be happy about it, but--but it's what we planned, isn't it? Being just parents. Being just friends." He blinked back tears and shook his head as he started to regret his words. "I shouldn't push my luck. I shouldn't want more than that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't--"
"You should!" Phoebe suddenly said, with tears in her eyes too. She smiled softly and pulled him closer to her so that he would meet her eyes. "Remember what Rachel said? You can and you should be happy, Ross. You should want love." She kissed him suddenly and passionately, much like she did whenever they were making love in his bed or making out after his classes at NYU, but she meant so much more than just sex and desire this time.
Ross kissed her back just as fiercely, realizing that the romantic feelings he had developed for Phoebe lately were truly reciprocated. Up to now, he had thought it was just wishful thinking on his part, so he had never risked asking her for more than their original plans for friendship and parenthood.
Then Phoebe broke off their kiss and smiled, wiping away her tears. "I thought you were still in love with her, Ross, but if you're not, if you really want me instead--"
"I do!" He answered quickly and kissed her again. But then he caressed her arms and asked, slightly confused, "So, even though you're bi--?"
She laughed brightly and kissed his nose. "It doesn't mean that I can't fall in love with you, silly! It only means that I already know what's out there, and I still want you. It means that there's no more surprises down the road, no more big secrets waiting to be revealed. I'm not going to suddenly discover I'm a lesbian and leave you, Ross. I had plenty of chances to find that out years ago. I might even, you know, do a little threesome with you if you wanted to."
That made Ross even happier, and he kissed her with a sexy growl, leaning her back against the couch cushions. She responded with equal enthusiasm.
"Whoa, whoa!" Monica said, getting up and backing away from their passionate embrace. "Hey, maybe you two lovebirds ought to go home and do that." She turned away and covered her eyes.
Rachel agreed. "Or better yet, maybe you guys want to use my bedroom over there."
They accepted her offer and hurried into her bedroom together, still kissing each other eagerly.
Rachel shut the door on them and shrugged when she saw Monica's gaping mouth. "It didn't look like they were gonna make it across the street to his apartment. Besides, we can just sleep in your bedroom tonight, you know?"
Monica tried to accept that. "I guess so. It's still very weird, though, and shocking."
"I know."
Carol, Susan, Monica, and Rachel all looked bewilderedly at each other, asking why no one had known what was going on between Ross and Phoebe until now. But none of them had an answer, beyond perhaps a preoccupation with their own love lives at the time.
Carol said, "Wow. I never would have worried so much about Ross's reaction if I knew that he was over Rachel already and falling in love with Phoebe."
"I know," Susan agreed.
The sounds from the bedroom got louder, making the four women rather uncomfortable.
Carol suggested quickly, "Hey, um, let's go talk to Joey and Chandler now!"
"Oh, right!"
"Yeah!"
"Let's go!"
They all hurried across the hall and knocked on the guys' door.
Still rather stunned, Ross turned to her, and he began to realize something. "You knew, didn't you? You and Susan?"
Carol nodded and explained, "Yes, for a week now. Rachel and Monica told us first because they needed advice about how to tell you, without hurting you."
"So you told them to tell me this now? Like this?"
"Um... yes." She suddenly felt very guilty, as if she had just ruined his whole baby shower, or even his whole life. Maybe she had misjudged how badly Ross would take the news. Would he think of this as some betrayal? Some conspiracy to turn all the women he loved into lesbians?
Susan said, "We wanted to get Joey and Chandler here too, but they didn't want to see Monica this soon, so that's why it's just you now. We're gonna go tell them in a minute too. Sorry. We didn't intend to gang up on you like this."
Ross nodded and still spoke slowly, as if all his reactions were delayed. "Yeah, I-I understand. Thanks for waiting until all the guests were gone."
"Sure."
All the women still stared at him uncomfortably, waiting for him to break down or scream at them or have any other discernible reaction.
He just sat there on the couch holding tightly onto Phoebe's hand. Phoebe pressed back and kept watching his face.
Monica and Rachel sat down in front of him, not sure whether they should continue with their speech.
But Rachel felt that she really owed Ross an apology, so she said earnestly, "Believe me, Ross, I never meant to go from you to your sister. This was not something I planned or even imagined happening. I-I just think that my feelings for you and my feelings for Monica got tangled up somehow, until I didn't know what I wanted. I am so, so sorry that I suggested we get married in Vegas, Ross. It's wrong for me to keep jerking you around and leading you on like that. You should be free to find someone else and be happy." She tried to be firm in her encouragement. "You *should* be happy, Ross! You can and you should, and it should have nothing to do with me."
Still seeing no response on his face, she sat back and sighed. "I mean, I-I do know that you've loved me for a long time, Ross, and I know us telling you this probably hurts a lot right now, but please, please don't give up on yourself. Don't get all depressed about your three divorces again and go nuts about how you've lost me again. Please don't do that, Ross. Believe me, you can be happy without me if you just try. You can be strong and get through this, just like you got over Carol eventually. Just look at all the good things that are happening for you right now! You're having a baby with Phoebe. You've got the new job at NYU. You've got a new car and a new apartment. And we're all still here for you, Ross. We're all your friends, and we all really care about you, and we will all help you get past this."
Ross nodded and seemed to smile a little when she reminded him of the good things in his life. That seemed to be a positive sign, though he still didn't release his grip on Phoebe's hand yet. He swallowed and tried to compose his thoughts so he could respond. "Uh--thank you, Rach. I, I'm--do you really love Monica? You're not just, um, fooling around with her as some sort of rebound fling from Chandler?"
Rachel shook her head, and Monica told him honestly, "No, we're really in love, Ross. I'm sorry."
"No, that's--that's okay. That's good. I shouldn't have even asked, you know. I mean, you wouldn't have gone to all this trouble to tell me this if you guys weren't serious about each other, right?"
"Right." They nodded together.
"Well, good. So I-I guess you're going to go tell Joey and Chandler now. Good luck."
Monica and Rachel hesitated to leave, glancing to their mentors for advice. Susan shook her head and gestured that they should stay put.
Carol came closer and reached to touch his shoulder. "Wait, are you sure that you're all right, Ross? You don't want to talk about this some more?"
Ross shrugged and clung to Phoebe's hand. "Well, I--I do have one more question."
"Sure, anything. What is it?"
All the women leaned close to listen and respond to him. To their surprise, Ross turned to face Phoebe and asked her, "You're not a lesbian too, are you?"
Ah, so he did suspect that all the women he knew were turning gay.
Phoebe answered him quite seriously, "No, but--but I am bisexual."
Ross blinked. "You are?"
Monica and Rachel also looked very surprised, but Carol and Susan already had their suspicions because Phoebe had flirted with some of their friends at the lesbian wedding.
Phoebe nodded and shrugged, brushing Ross's face with her hand. "Yeah, um, I'm no innocent you know. I-I did a lot of things when I was homeless for years. Traveling around the country, ending up in Prague, getting back to America, only to stab a cop and end up in prison just like my stepdad. So I had plenty of chances to experiment both ways, and most of it was pretty good. Well, then I got into aromatherapy and yoga through Bonnie at the Y. Then I got my guitar and I learned how to massage so I could get a job and get off the streets. I moved in with Monica and thought she was cute, but she seemed like totally repressed then and didn't respond to me, so I decided to just be friends with her and go back to dating guys. Not that I didn't have a fling sometimes if I couldn't find any good guys around. But yeah, I am bi, Ross. Are you, are you gonna forgive me too?"
"Forgive you?" Ross looked at her tenderly and kissed her hands. "I'm--I'm not mad. Why would I be? That's your life and who you are and everything. I mean, I'm not mad at anybody here. Did you guys think I was mad?" He looked around at all of them.
They nodded and simultaneously murmured in confusion.
"Yeah, after how badly you took my coming out and our divorce--"
Susan said, "You hated me for a long time, Ross."
"How can you be so calm about this?"
"Ross, are you really okay with us?"
Ross looked at his friends apologetically and explained his reaction. "I'm sorry. I-I was just stunned, and, and overwhelmed by the deja vu I guess. I got flashbacks to the night that Carol told me, and it was kind of hard to think while I was reliving it. But, um, what you said to me there, Rach, that was really nice and sweet and touching and true, so how could I get mad after that? You really put everything into perspective, you know, and I'm happy for you and Monica. I really am. I don't know how Chandler's gonna take hearing this, but I'm not upset about it."
"Really?"
"Yeah." He nodded. "I mean, I'll admit, when Carol first left me, I didn't handle it that well, and I was messed up for a long time. You guys should know; you all came up with that theory about me becoming paranoid about girlfriends cheating on me. But um, I guess I'm finally over it now. After all these years, and Phoebe helping me, and--" He stopped and looked at Phoebe directly again. He gazed into her eyes and brushed the hair back from her face.
"I like myself when I'm with you, Pheebs," he whispered sincerely. "I like being with you, being sane, being whole... I-I think you're the one who finally got me over Rachel. The one who helped me let go and see that she was a high school crush that I idealized too much and got too obsessed about. You're the one that--that made me stop wallowing in self-pity and start living life again. Making plans, having fun, getting excited about a baby--I'm finally looking forward, instead of backward. I love being with you and laughing and talking and, and--I love *us*." Then he frowned and furrowed his brows sadly. "In fact, I wish--I mean, um, is there any way... any way that you could consider...?"
"What, Ross?" Phoebe had an inkling of what he meant, but didn't dare believe it yet.
The others were staring at them in utter amazement as they realized what was going on.
Ross shrugged and looked shy, staring down at their joined hands as he struggled to find words. "Does, um, does being bi mean that, that maybe you might be happy staying with me like this? Might want to be a real family someday or--?" Then he frowned and lost his nerve to even ask the question. "I mean, um, if you don't want to, if you'd rather keep exploring your options, I'd, I'd understand." He gulped and looked visibly troubled and upset. "I mean, I wouldn't be happy about it, but--but it's what we planned, isn't it? Being just parents. Being just friends." He blinked back tears and shook his head as he started to regret his words. "I shouldn't push my luck. I shouldn't want more than that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't--"
"You should!" Phoebe suddenly said, with tears in her eyes too. She smiled softly and pulled him closer to her so that he would meet her eyes. "Remember what Rachel said? You can and you should be happy, Ross. You should want love." She kissed him suddenly and passionately, much like she did whenever they were making love in his bed or making out after his classes at NYU, but she meant so much more than just sex and desire this time.
Ross kissed her back just as fiercely, realizing that the romantic feelings he had developed for Phoebe lately were truly reciprocated. Up to now, he had thought it was just wishful thinking on his part, so he had never risked asking her for more than their original plans for friendship and parenthood.
Then Phoebe broke off their kiss and smiled, wiping away her tears. "I thought you were still in love with her, Ross, but if you're not, if you really want me instead--"
"I do!" He answered quickly and kissed her again. But then he caressed her arms and asked, slightly confused, "So, even though you're bi--?"
She laughed brightly and kissed his nose. "It doesn't mean that I can't fall in love with you, silly! It only means that I already know what's out there, and I still want you. It means that there's no more surprises down the road, no more big secrets waiting to be revealed. I'm not going to suddenly discover I'm a lesbian and leave you, Ross. I had plenty of chances to find that out years ago. I might even, you know, do a little threesome with you if you wanted to."
That made Ross even happier, and he kissed her with a sexy growl, leaning her back against the couch cushions. She responded with equal enthusiasm.
"Whoa, whoa!" Monica said, getting up and backing away from their passionate embrace. "Hey, maybe you two lovebirds ought to go home and do that." She turned away and covered her eyes.
Rachel agreed. "Or better yet, maybe you guys want to use my bedroom over there."
They accepted her offer and hurried into her bedroom together, still kissing each other eagerly.
Rachel shut the door on them and shrugged when she saw Monica's gaping mouth. "It didn't look like they were gonna make it across the street to his apartment. Besides, we can just sleep in your bedroom tonight, you know?"
Monica tried to accept that. "I guess so. It's still very weird, though, and shocking."
"I know."
Carol, Susan, Monica, and Rachel all looked bewilderedly at each other, asking why no one had known what was going on between Ross and Phoebe until now. But none of them had an answer, beyond perhaps a preoccupation with their own love lives at the time.
Carol said, "Wow. I never would have worried so much about Ross's reaction if I knew that he was over Rachel already and falling in love with Phoebe."
"I know," Susan agreed.
The sounds from the bedroom got louder, making the four women rather uncomfortable.
Carol suggested quickly, "Hey, um, let's go talk to Joey and Chandler now!"
"Oh, right!"
"Yeah!"
"Let's go!"
They all hurried across the hall and knocked on the guys' door.
