Chapter 5

Let's just kiss and say good bye

"Tonight!" Monica shouted loudly and Kathleen turned to see her. Both the angel and the demon looked at Andrew and how a safety net was miraculously extended to catch him before he hit the ground. Suddenly sound came back to Monica's conscience and the murmurs of people around her let her know he was safe.

People had mover forward, trying to catch a glance at the firemen and at the man that had just fallen, but the angel couldn't move. Tonight. One word had decided her destiny and that understanding was overwhelming. Her breath caught in her throat and burst in a pain-freeing sob. She started to cry with pain invading her heart. Shaking with the efforts of her sobs, her legs grew weak and she felt on her knees, her trembling hands moving to cover her face. "Father, forgive me, please," she whispered. "Andrew, I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry..."

Monica saw how an ambulance took the woman away as soon as possible and how Andrew was taken to another one so his hands could be treated properly. For a second her brown eyes met his and she started to ask herself how she would be able to ask him not to see her anymore when all her being impelled her to run to him and hold him tightly.

Feeling weak and defeated, she started to walk back to her house, her heart already heavy with sorrow. What had taken no more than ten minutes when she rushed to see Andrew, became almost an hour walk back. The air was quite chill now but she couldn't feel it; it was as if her body was denying any sensation but the sharp pain in her heart. Weary, she walked to the living room not turning the lights on and let herself fall on the couch, her tears a continuos flood that seemed not to end.

She lost the track of time and only the sound of the door being opened made her look at the clock. Almost 11.30 p.m. Half an hour was all the time she had.

"Monica?" Andrew's voice made her heart beat even faster. She could clearly hear the note of extreme exhaustion on it. How she'd like to hold him tight and spend the rest of the night seeing him sleep to recover from such an experience, but it was not an option anymore. She still couldn't believe she had been capable of making a deal with a demon but now she couldn't risk to see if they would fulfill their promise. Not when Andrew was involved.

The tinniest sob was the only reply the blond angel got from Monica, but it was enough for him to run to the couch and gather her in his arms. "Sshh... I'm here, baby, safe and sound." He combed her hair tenderly, yet it made him wince in pain for his burned palms.

Automatically, Monica had wrapped her arms around his waist but a minute later she pulled away. She didn't miss the confused look on Andrew's face, yet she decided to cover by examining his hands. "You're hurt," she sobbed again, seeing how red his palms were even when he had been wearing special gloves.

"I'm okay," he stated.

"You are not!" she burst in tears again and stood up quickly. "You are hurt! And it could've been worse! Had you fallen, you would be now in h..." she couldn't finish the sentence as her crying became more desperate.

"Monica, try to calm down!" he said reaching to take her arm to make her turn. "I'm okay. It was just a hard assignment..."

"No, no, it wasn't!" she yelled. "This is all my fault!"

"Monica, what nonsense..." he tried to argue.

"No! It is not nonsense, Andrew! I'm risking your life and I can't let it happen!"

"Risk my life? Monica, I've stood in high places more times than I can possibly count, you know it! And this..." he extended his palms, "... if I don't recall bad you've been shot in assignment! What difference does it make?"

"The difference that it wasn't you! That I didn't have to worry for the one I love the most, but only about my own assignment! I can't keep on doing this anymore, Andrew..." She looked at him directly on the eyes and he couldn't believe the coldness he was seeing in her face.

"What?" he asked not daring to believe what he feared.

"I can't keep on worrying about you and my assignment at the same time anymore," she stated as firmly as she could. She knew she had to do this, use that fear to make him go without actually having to lie to him or she knew she'd be sent to God's country like she had been once before. The hurt look in his face was making it more difficult but she was determined.

"That's so selfish..." the angel of death murmured, sure there had to be an explanation.

"Selfish! You don't have a clue, Andrew..."

"Then give it to me, Monica, 'cause there's no other way I can understand what you are telling me!" he yelled, his hand grabbing her chin to force her to see him, his green eyes sparkling like set on fire.

"Please, Andrew, you're not making this any easy..." she murmured through the tears that were now running freely over her cheeks.

"Making what easy!"

"Asking you to leave and not come back anymore!" she yelled back knowing that she had to shout it or she would never say it.

Andrew released her and gave a couple steps back, shocked by what he had heard. "Leave? Leave you alone forever?"

The Irish angel couldn't answer. She just lowered her head, her sobs talking for her.

"You-you don't want me anymore, Monica?" the blond angel stuttered. "You don't love me anymore?"

"I do... I love you..." she whispered between sobs.

"No, you don't! Love doesn't hide. It stays and fights. It goes the distance, remember? You used to say that!" he grabbed her arm quite violently.

"I can't fight anymore, Andrew! I just can't!"

"Then you never loved me as you said!" he stated in the most hurting tone.

She couldn't be prepared to face him doubting her love and in between the pain in her heart, she felt a pent up anger at his words. "Oh, you can't doubt my love for you, Andrew! What we shared, what we lived together, what I gave you was proof enough that I love you!"

"Then why are you asking me to leave!"

"I told you! I'm risking your life and I can't let it happen! Believe me! You'll be better away from me! Please, Andrew, go away! Go away and never try to come back to me!"

He turned his back at her for a moment like thinking, and when he turned around, he said, "I won't go anywhere unless you prove me you loved me! You're an angel, you can't lie! I don't understand why you want me to go unless it means you never loved me!"

Monica read his eyes for a second, sensing he was serious. But she had to make him go in less than ten minutes. Yes, her heart was falling apart, but the mere thought of him being caught by the demons was enough for her to want to carry on in protecting him. There was only one way to convince him. Taking him by surprise, she placed both her hands on his cheeks pulling him down for the most passionate, almost lustful kiss she had ever given him.

Forcefully she opened his mouth and deepened the kiss while his strong hands remained on her waist pressing her against him. Their lungs were about to burst but none wanted to pull apart. It was Monica the one that finally let him go. "I love you," she said freeing herself from his embrace, panting heavily to catch her breath. She walked to the door and opened it. "Now, please, go."

Andrew still remained in his place for a couple of seconds, fighting against this reality. Feeling betrayed and defeated, he walked to the door where he stopped to look at Monica again. When she lowered her face, he knew he couldn't argue and walked out slowly before disappearing in the thin air.