Chapter 6

Al límite de la desolación (To the limit of desolation)

Monica leaned against the door as she closed it, her legs suddenly growing weak. She let herself fall to the floor, where she started to cry hopelessly again, holding her knees tightly trying to ease her pain.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Monica," Sam's sweet voice startled her after what seemed hours to her.

"S-Sam?" she stuttered seeing the angel crouching at her side.

"Do you think that was the best way to protect him?"

"Do-do you know about...?" the little angel asked nervously.

"Enough to know your reasons... and to question them," the dark skinned angel said helping her stand and walking her to the couch.

"They were going to take him, Sam! I couldn't let that happen! I didn't see another way! There wasn't another way to...!"

"Ease, Monica, ease!" the angel of angels said stroking her hair. "I'm not here to take you to God's country if that's what you fear, though I have to warn you you're standing on thin ice here. True, you didn't lie to Andrew but it will take you a lot not to do it in the future, and you do know you can even lose your angelic status for lying..."

"I know..." she murmured in a very low voice, her tears still sliding down. "But if I did it to protect him, I'd do it, Sam... That much I love him."

"I won't ask you why you did this. Angels have free will too and you've just used yours. Yes, you hurt Andrew, you're hurting too and so is the Father for seeing you two apart, but He gave you free will as I say, so... I just hope you have enough strength to keep on working in your assignment 'cause I wouldn't know who to send if you couldn't finish this." He met her teary brown eyes and knew she was perfectly aware of her responsibility. It really made his heart ache: see her suffering so much and still wanting to do God's work. "Take care, Monica," Sam said kissing her temple in a fatherly manner, "and be strong."

Andrew walked to a bench in a park and took a seat heavily. Looking upwards after some minutes he spoke, "Please, help me. I can't understand what's going on. I love her, You know that, but she... I cannot think about anything else! I don't know what to do anymore! Please, Father!"

"I'm glad your asking for guidance, Andrew..." Sam said appearing right beside the angel. "The Father does think you need help... and I'm getting used to come to meet you on this bench."

"Do you know what happened, Sam?" Seeing the dark skinned angel nodding, Andrew kept on, "And can you tell me why? She has to have a reason! We were just fine yesterday!"

"She has a reason, yes, but it doesn't mean what she's done is ok..."

"Sam, you need to talk to her! Tell her that this cannot happen!"

"No, Andrew, I can't. This is not an assignment. These are your lives and the Father cannot order her what to do. When He gave you two the freedom to love each other the way you do, He knew you could be hurt and you knew that too. Angels have free will and free will has some risks..."

"I know... It's just that it hurts..." the blond angel said in a very low voice, his eyes bright with tears. "It hurts so much..."

"I know it hurts, Andrew, that's why I'm here. I'm sorry about this, but I have to inform you that you'll be taking a break from your duties..."

"What!" Andrew replied not able to believe it.

"The Father feels you're too tied to you pain to work properly, so you won't get assigned for a while..."

"Sam, no!"

The older angel stood up. "It's not permanent, calm down! You'll be called again at the exact moment, but in the meantime you have to think about your situation and your attitude with Monica. You're seeing things from your point of view and you have to see hers too."

"How if I can't understand her, Sam? I've asked her about this but she doesn't tell me!"

"Sometimes, Andrew, a single gesture talks more than a thousand words... Don't let pain blind you..."

The younger angel saw him disappear and he remained by the bench, not knowing what to think anymore. He had lost Monica and he had been put to a rest in his work, and all that was supposed to have a reason he had to understand?

If Andrew wasn't doing fine, needless to say Monica wasn't doing any better. She hadn't been able to sleep at all during the night, and she had had to get dressed and ready for work as it was Friday and she had to go to the office. Besides, she had a divine task to perform, and as bad as she was feeling, she had to do God's job.

She arrived by 10.30, when Jamal was already in his office. She knocked at the door softly, already thinking in an excuse for her late arrival. "Jamal, can I come in?" she asked and sighed in relief when she saw neither Kathleen nor Gregory were around.

"I thought you were not coming, Monica," the man said eyeing carefully.

"I'm sorry I'm late..."

"For the face you have, I think you didn't want to come today..." he ventured in a nice tone and pointing at one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Silently, Monica walked to the chair and took a seat, unwilling to talk about her current state of mind, least of all with her assignment. "I..."

"Is it your boyfriend again?"

Monica lifted her face immediately, for a brief second wondering who was the assignment, Jamal or herself. Yet the mere mention of Andrew was enough to make her heart ache again. "Yes," she whispered lowering her face again.

Jamal contemplated her for a moment in absolute silence. "Love hurts, Monica, that's the only true." When the little angel said nothing, he added. "That's why I said love is not worth suffering for. I guess you won't differ this time..."

Two big tears escaped Monica's brown eyes when she met Jamal's. "I know you told me I would be hurt, but I still think love is what matters the most in this world..."

"Then you're thinking about forgiving your boyfriend for whatever he had done or ask for his forgiveness if it was your fault, and you'll be smiling again next week, just to cry again in no time..."

"Andrew and I are not coming back, Jamal..." Monica murmured in a barely audible voice.

"I swear I will never understand women! You can't understand love and you shouldn't feel it either! The time you use 'loving' someone you better use it in something more tangible..." he said making a sign of money with a hand, "... like the contract with the French lab we have to send today!"

Monica understood what he was asking and she stood up, but after barely two steps her knees grew weak and she almost fell. "Monica, are you alright?" Jamal asked going to her side and helping her take a seat again. When he touched her hand, he noticed how cold she was. "Did you have breakfast or dinner at least?"

"N-no..." Monica replied after a second. She then assumed that being in human form for so long and with the stress of last night, she was somehow paying its price.

Jamal shook his head. "My! What am I going to do with you, huh?" he said in a strange friendly tone. "I don't want the best secretary I have had in years so sick in no time! Come on, I haven't had breakfast either. We're going to eat something and you will not object!"

Andrew sluggishly walked for awhile, hands stuffed in his pockets, not knowing what to think. He was confused, mad and sad at a time, with no place to go as he was too upset to go back home. Not even the clear morning could do something to cheer his heart. He ended up arriving at the diner where he had taken Monica the first day she worked on this assignment. He stood by the door for a second before he decided to get in.

"Well, see who's here?" a blond girl told Andrew going to his side when he took a seat. "You're back!"

"Hi, Deborah," the blond angel smiled faintly.

"But what a face you have! I thought you and Monica had worked things out after she was here!"

"She was here? When?" Andrew asked very surprised.

"A couple of days ago... She apologized... I thought you knew about it..." the girl said eyeing him carefully. When he remained silent, she added, "Are things all right between you two, Andrew?"

He sighed deeply before he turned to face the waitress. "No, Deborah, they are not... we... broke up."

"Oh, my! I'm so sorry to hear that! I don't know what to say!"

"I guess there's no much to say..." he offered.

"You'll find someone much better, Andrew, if you've broken for good..."

When he said nothing more, Deborah walked away in silence. Andrew stayed there thinking. There wasn't anybody else for him. He wasn't a normal human who have a chance to fall in love once and again. He had been granted that special gift once, and he still couldn't believe he had lost her.

He lost the track of time lost in his thoughts until the noise of the opening door made him turn... to discover Monica and Jamal coming inside.

The little angel seemed to feel his gaze as she had just given a couple of steps inside when she turned to meet his green eyes. She could see them, so full with confusion, pain and even anger, that her heart broke again. She stood there like frozen until Jamal gently pushed her to the nearest table. "Jamal, could we... go somewhere else?"

"Why?" the man asked and then followed her sight to Andrew's table. "Is that him?" She nodded. "We're not leaving, Monica. You'll show him you can live without him!"

Monica blinked hard trying to fight the tears. How could she tell him that she could not live without Andrew, that other than God, he was the only reason of her life? She turned slightly to see him looking at her again, her legs feeling like running to his side and hold him tight, but then again she remembered Kathleen's threatens and knew the aching rancor she could see in Andrew's eyes was worth his being safe.

"If you want him back, Monica, I think I could help you..." The Irish angel turned to see him, eyes wide open, which Jamal took as she was willing to try whatever he had to offer. "See? Kathleen and Gregory helped me to make a 'deal' with someone that grants me whatever I want to, either it is something material... or someone in special. If you want to, I'm sure he can give him back to you, this time with his full attention for you..."

Monica met her "boss" eyes and a frightened chill ran up and down her spine. Something in them just terrified her. She couldn't believe he was offering her to make a deal with the Devil...