(recording) Hello, you have dialed Frodo Baggins' number. He can't come to the phone right now, because he just realized he volunteered for a life-threatening mission, and is currently in a state of shock. Until he comes to his senses and calls you back, sit tight and don't succumb to the temptation of the ring. That will just make his job harder. We will be leaving Rivendell shortly, and will provide everyone with cell phone numbers before we go. Oh, by the way, this is Sam. Leave your message now. beep!
-Merry and Pippin here. We're coming with you. Just thought you ought to know. Do you have all your supplies yet? Cuz if you don't we can all go shopping together tomorrow. How does that sound? Call us!
-Hello Gandalf. It's Elrond. Galadriel just called and invited you to drop by Lothlorien with all of your "friends." If you do, you might consider leaving Gimli here. Most elves are "allergic" to dwarves.
-Waz up Gandalf? Gimli calling. Galads'll just have to get over the allergy, cuz you're not leaving me here. No way am I living in an elf city for the next year. So long!
-Aragorn? I'm Boromir of Gondor. Remember me from the council? I was, uh, just wondering if you had a cell phone. Because I don't. Because everyone in Gondor always knows where I am. Because my father is the Steward of Gondor. Can we share yours?
-Hey Boromir, it's Aragorn, also of Gondor. I think you've got some nerve asking to share my phone after the way you insulted me at the council. Sure I'll share. I appreciate nerve. Ever consider a job as a ranger?
-Hello everyone, this is Legolas, your fellow fellowship elven companion. Hi! I've volunteered to do the food shopping, so please give me a ring and tell me what you want. Oh, that sounded wrong, not THE ring, just a call, you know?
-Thank you Legolas! Mushrooms! Lots and Lots of Mushrooms!
-That's very kind of you, Legolas. Pipeweed.
-I'll do my own hunting, thanks anyway.
-Anything I can make stew out of. Merry got me some nice new cooking pots and I want a chance to use them.
-Okay everyone, it's Legolas the elf from Mirkwood again. Here's the shopping list so far, please tell me if there are any corrections to make. Mushrooms, requested by Pippin; Gandalf, pipeweed is not a food item, buy that yourself; Meat, nothing pre-roasted or with preservatives for Gimli; Aragorn doesn't believe in carrying food; Merry wants apples, very nutritious, good choice Merry; and Sam wants stew ingredients. Boromir wants donuts, but Frodo has vetoed his request. And I'm suggesting tofu. Anything else?
-Merry, Sam, Frodo, it's Pippin! Pajama party in my room tonight! Last chance before we leave!
My review request still stands! Tell me what you think of the story!
