(recording) Hello, I am Aragorn's cell phone. You can leave a message with me for any member of the fellowship, because Merry's batteries are still dead, Gandalf's using his to power his staff, and no one else brought one. Thank you for calling. Playing this recording gives me a sense of fulfillment and great satisfaction with life. You have made my day. Please leave a message so that I may have the pleasure of playing it to the recipient. beep!

-Aragorn? It's me. You forgot to kiss me goodbye. And that recording is sick. Poor phone.

-Hello Aragorn's phone! This is Merry's phone! Pippin recharged my batteries, so now we can talk to each other! How are things on your side of camp? It's a bit damp over here, but Sam's making mushroom stew so I'm not complaining about being here. Wait, that wasn't in character, was it? Stew's done! Bye! Mushrooms rule!

-Greetings Fellowship. We are Crebain from Dunland. We wanted to give you a heads-up that we'll be rehearsing stunts this afternoon for the air show, and you seem to be walking through our staging area. We assure you, that when we ask you to leave we are only concerned for your own safety. Or we can have Saruman come kick you out. Your choice.

-Hello Fellowship, especially you, Gandalf. This is Saruman. You'd better stay away from my Crebain. If you interfere with them in any way, I'll tell the judges you're spies for the Eagles Team and tried to sabotage the Crebain act. And if you get the Eagles in trouble, they'll never help you again! So there!

-Hello Aragorn's phone! It's Merry's phone again! Mushrooms still rule! And it's very cold! Is it cold over where you are? It's never this cold in the Shire, because the Shire is flat! Has it ever been this cold in Rivendell?

-Hello Merry's phone, this is Aragorn and his phone. Stop calling. If you want to talk, turn around and say something to me, but this calling my phone every evening and talking to it is getting really annoying!

-Is anyone out there? This is the four hobbits on Merry's phone. We're buried under the snow. Can someone come dig us out? Please? Pretty please with mushrooms on top? Hello? Is anyone actually hearing us? Help!

-Hello hobbits, it's Gandalf. We're having a discussion of where to go next, but we'll come dig you out as soon as we're done. Just be patient and stop panicking. It might be a while before we reach a decision.

-Come on, dig us out! We have a unanimous decision down here to get off this mountain before we make any more decisions!

-This is Caradhras. Goodbye Fellowship. Muahaha! Muahaha! Muahaha! See you later alligators. So long suckers. Muahaha!

-Hello Gandalf. It's me, the great big flaming cow beastie. Are you coming to visit me? And bringing friends? Wow. I'll have to invite some friends of my own. I'll be seeing you soon!

-Gandalf? It's Merry. What was that message you just deleted from my phone?

-That message was none of your business. I can delete any message I want.

-Hello everyone, it's Merry. I'm writing up a list of phone etiquette rules. No long messages that use up the entire recording memory. Pippin, this means you. No deleting messages within twenty-four hours of receiving it, just in case it's intended for more than one person. This is my phone, and I have a right to know what it's being used for. No dropping the phone over cliffs, using as a cooking utensil, or playing catch with it. If found violating these rules, your phone privileges will be revoked and you will have to write letters to everyone instead.

-Merry, your message was long! Naughty naughty!

-I know it was, Pippin! But what I'm saying is that's the last long message on my phone!

All right, I'll do TT! But keep reviewing anyway, the good feedback makes me so happy! ^_^