"You have to decide which one we're going to beam out."
Is this the coward's way out, I wonder? Why am I not the one to choose? Rodney is, after all, head of science department. It ought to be a scientist who makes the decision about his life.
I pass computer to Colonel Sheppard anyway. It feels appropriate, somehow; I cannot explain. Maybe because he is military leader and life-and-death choice should be easy for him. Fuj, that is an uneducated thing to say! When is this choice easy for anyone, even military? Colonel Sheppard thinks no one notices, but Rodney told me how he keeps Colonel Sumner's identification tags. To remind him always of terrible decision he had to make, I am thinking.
Maybe I make him choose because he is our military leader. He believes he is responsible for everyone on Atlantis and, as much as we dislike the situation, he is – at least for our lives. It is only fitting that he make the decision that could end one of them.
There is also matter of Colonel Sheppard's own attitude. I cannot help thinking that, even though the choice is so terrible, he would want to be the one to make it. He thinks he is responsible, so he must take responsibility. Or something to this effect.
I am thinking for Rodney, as well. I do not doubt that Rodney would prefer the colonel decide his fate rather than me. Actually, Rodney would rather decide his own fate but since this is not possible…I work with Rodney, yes, but he and the colonel know one another like bratri. Often they fight like brothers, also, but each has saved the other's life more than once. It would be out of place for someone else to save Rodney this time. If he is to be saved.
