(recording) Hello, you have reached Sam and Frodo. We are just travelers and do not want to harm anyone. So please leave us alone. You can leave your message now. beep!
-Cans they hear us now? Gollum!
-Frodo? It's Sam. Let me get this straight. We're trying to get to the most evil place in Middle-earth, we've managed to get lost on the way, the only food we have left is that weird elvish bread and some mushrooms that can't be eaten with the bread for fear of insulting Legolas though he's hundreds of miles away so I don't see why we care, and Gollum is still calling us. Can I just go mad now? It would save a lot of hassle later.
-Cans they hear us now? Gollum!
-Sam, it's Frodo. I've been wondering, if Gollum is trying to sneak up on us, why does he keep calling us and saying that? Do you think it's the influence of the ring? Lately, I've been having this strange urge to say "Oh, Sam" every time I look at you. Maybe Gollum feels the same way?
-Um, Frodo? It's Sam. Have you considered seeing a psychologist about that?
-Sam, where would I find a psychologist in the middle of the Emyn Muil?
-Talks to us he could, my precious. Cans they hear us now?
-Argh! No more! Gollum, swear by the precious that you will never say that again! Or we'll kill you right now!
-We swears, yes nice masters, we swears by all that is cellular, wes never says it again! Now, yous lets go of our phone! Cans they…oh never minds. Wes never says it again, no, kind master.
-Oh, Sam. We musn't kill him. He can lead us to Mordor.
-Frodo? Did you just say "Oh, Sam"? You did! Resist the ring Mr. Frodo! Don't let it control you!
