Continental drift was supposed to throw the whole Earth out of whack, but it hadn't. Cassandra had made sure of that. Oh, sure, the stuffy lot at the Ecological Protection Society had fronted it, but who had come up with the money?
Cassandra had, and no one knew it. She'd bribed others to take care of her homeland. After all, what use was it being the last human if there was no Earth left? She might as well have interbred with the rest and... mixed.
Still, she had a plan now, and she wouldn't have to keep pouring endless money into that useless little planet any longer. Then she'd have so much more money to fix herself.
---
Thin was in, these days. And she was the thinnest of the lot. You almost couldn't see her if she turned sideways, except for the jar containing her... vital organs.
She found those rather vulgar, and had loved the opportunity to have the unsightly things removed. Her reproductive organs had been the first to go, way back when she was a young teenage boy. Then came the first nose job.
She'd had such a lot of operations, and there were always so many left to have done. There was the next chin removal, the blood bleaching, and even the skin stretching. And that all cost.
Luckily, she had her plan. She waited for the right moment. She'd stopped giving them money ages ago, so they'd decided to let the planet die.
---
They were just an idea. A stereotypical group of robed and sinister-looking beings, who would spread the bugs throughout the ship. The bugs would cause mischief and havoc, and leave the whole fate in well, her capable hands. Not that she had any hands. Knobbly, ugly things, those were.
No, she'd paid others to work for her, as always. And she'd found out that they wouldn't check artifacts for teleportation devices and used that to her advantage. The fake ostrich egg would do nicely, provided she could find something to say about the ridiculous bird. At least, she thought it was a bird. It could well have been something like a Giraffe, if she remembered correctly.
Ah well, it scarcely mattered. Everything had been worked out, down to the trustworthy people she could count on to spray moisturiser onto her skin. That was really the only drawback to the surgery.
