Yanagi-chyan: I'm so sorry that I misplaced those chapters. Anyway, I'll hope you can understand it because I noticed that if I didn't place the real chapter in place, it'll be more confusing. Just try to be patient with it.
Obsessed dreamer: thanks for the idea. Here it is!
CHAPTER 9: SCOPE AND LIMITATIONS
Fuuko's POV
"Curse him!" I shouted as I ended up at the driver's seat. I started hitting the wheel harder the next time and the next time and… (a/n: stop right there! This one happened the night proceeding the kiss, okay? I just told you because I am also confused with my literature.)
With teary eyes, I drove my way across the place. To where? I don't know. Maybe as long as I can just to forget him. It seems absurd, really, that I will be able to forget him in that night.
"It takes a second to have a crush on someone.
It takes a minute to like someone.
It takes anytime to love someone.
But it takes forever to forget someone."
Everything was blurred. I don't care whether I'll die at that night. I am hopeless, anyway.
I have my reputation as a successful woman. In front of others, I am perfect. Well, I was perfect. I was perfect when Mi-chan told me that he loved me the way I love him. Now, I am incomplete. A heartless machine or somewhere near that.
I thought he was happy. Well, is he happy? Maybe I was just selfish that I only thought of my own happiness. Maybe he likes Youna more.
It's not 'maybe.' He really likes her, judging the way he responded to her kisses. He didn't act like that when he kissed me before. His kiss was full of longing and, no doubt, lust.
How about mine? There was nothing. Nothing at all. Did that mean that my first kiss was not true? The kiss I gave him was dull, different, it was… not full of love.
I was really foolish to believe in every word he said. Yeah, right. I was so foolish. I doubt words of people, but why do I believe all that he said that night?
Well, anyway, at least he'll be free with Youna now. That brat! I'll try to give another resignation letter and this time, I'll resign whatever he tells me. I don't care anyway.
But as I thought of these things, I am very confused why I am like this. Sad, miserable, and as though everything is gone. Why do I feel…imperfect?
Is that the right word? I think not. Imperfect is something that has some another. I have nothing anymore. I am nothing. I am like a lost child, walking in darkness. Not knowing what to do.
Is there always limitations? Can't I complete anything?
Tokiya's POV
I sat down, perplexed. "Why did she kissed me like that?" I held my lips. Fuuko's kiss. It was nothing but a mockery. But why did she do that? To prove something?
"Fuuko's comparing herself to Youna," I finally concluded. Youna was nothing but a childish girl, she wouldn't know anything. Even though she kissed me, it is nothing for me and…
But in the first place, why did I enjoy the experience? Why did I reply to her kiss instead of avoiding the temptation? Maybe Fuuko was right. I didn't love her enough. I was not faithful to her. I was impatient. I longed for her kisses but she couldn't give it the way I wanted. Maybe that's the reason why. I lost control.
I hate to admit it but I do not only need her, I want her, all of her.
It was stupid actually; I'm trying to own her. My love was not merely love. It was beyond that. But that doesn't mean that I only want her. I also need her in my heart. She makes everything in my life alive.
"Fuuko," I said, my eyes shining with tears I am trying to hold back. "You do not deserve me. I am nothing.
"You know what? I hate myself. I hate the way I treated you. I hate the way I destroyed my faith on her love. She loved me. Isn't that enough? Why do I long for more?"
I buried my head on my hands. I hate myself. I want to kill myself. I have no face to show her.
Then suddenly, Fuuko's picture on the table fell to the floor. I scrambled to pick it up and stroked it. My hands are full of blood because of the fragile pieces of the glass.
"Fuuko…"
It's cheap, I know… anyway, it's just a simple thing but I think it is informative for the upcoming chapters. Don't worry, I'll update in… forget it. I cannot promise anything.
Please do the following steps:
click the "go" button
criticize my work.
reread it again.
Anyway, about the night thingy. After the kiss, Fuuko stayed in her office, alone. She had to stay until her official office time ends.
